No.
Not him, she could barely face her district. Why did he have to show up in the square at the same time as her? She ignores her inner screams and stalks to the woods, ignoring his gaze and the piercing eyes of her unwanted audience. The voices in her head were roaring for her to run, but she was not a coward. She could grow from her experiences and live on.
Everyone said she deserved to be happy now, the war was over and she was safe.
Safe was a lie, no one is safe if the enemy could slip through her of all people's fingers. The enemy had driven her to a breaking point and now that it was over, it never would be.
The enemy had no followers anymore, but she was not safe. He had gotten away and the war in her head is raging strong. He went through the same torture and she would never forgive herself for subjecting him to that, everyone she loves is gone. The district is gaining hope and cheer but everyday seems harder for her. Seh has to fight, for everyone that has died. She wants to believe she deserves a happy life.
But in this war, she was the army, the leader and the battlefield.
Her name is Katniss Everdeen and this is far from over.
She is not the same girl as before.
This is all your fault! They scream the sounds bombarding her ears, she places her hands over her lobes hoping to block out the noise. "Please stop!" she pleads to her demons, they don't hold up.
Tears escape her eyes and she begs someone will save her from the never ending hell that her mind has created, she is unable to keep up with the madness it has created.
"Crazy, crazy" They chant, her screams increasing in noise. She knows if she screams loud enough he will hear and try to rescue her like he has been trying for months to no avail. She has accepted the fact that she will live with these everlasting demons.
"Katniss enough." Her mentor scolds, his firm hand on his shoulder. "Haymitch.." her voice is croaky from her screams.
"The boy.." She stands up and rolls her eyes. "No Haymitch… Just go." He sighs, "Katniss he can help, he know's what's going on in your head. You would do it for him, let him do it for you please." He begs, but she simply send him off. "One day Katniss, you will open up for us."
"Oh sure."
She lies on her bed, naked, she couldn't be bothered to be clothed, it was hot and she was alone.
Always alone. Her mentor came every couple of days to check if she was still alive but every time he would sigh and leave her. She doesn't really leave her house but when she does people give her the stare, she has only seen him once, he was talking to a young nice-looking girl who used to sell seeds at The Seam. He was smiling and they seemed to get along, it broke what was barely left of her heart but knowing he was safe and better off without her messing up his life made her happy.
Maybe she should get some food, she hasn't eaten in days, Haymitch on her about it all week, her cupboard is barren and filled with cobwebs.
She sighs and stands up from her end her entire body aching from it's lack of movement. She slips into the shower, humming as the warm water ran over her scars, her skin is now ultra-pale due to her lack of sunlight, it's going to be super-weird for her to walk into town like this. She shrugs and steps out of the warm shower.
She picks some random clothes, she was very surprised to find the dress she wore the day she volunteered for Prim, she shrugs and throws it on her bed, she retrieves an old pair of sandals and starts to get dressed.
She walks over to her floor length mirror and nods in approval. Oh wait she's missing something.
A bra.
She finds a random one from her closet and slips it on before re-dressing, she slips on her shoes and looks in the mirror again, her hair will bother her she think's before braiding it and throwing over her shoulder.
She grabs some coins off her table and reluctantly steps outside her comfy abode. The sunlight pierces her skin, the fresh summer air brushing against her face.
She walks down the path towards the main part of the city, hopefully she can buy some essentials and scurry out of there before he get's there.
Each step makes her more and more nervous, why is she nervous? Everyone knows what she did, who she is and what happened to her. The pity was the worst, it made her want to scream. But she pressed on as her stomach seemed to keep her moving. Her muscles were starting to feel like jello, the lack of movement really affected her momentum.
She finally arrived and she could sense some heads turning towards her, she ignored them and kept pressing on. Could you blame them? This was Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, who would definitely bring them more misfortune. It was her fault most of the district fell, no one said it but they all believed it.
People started to crowd around and her breath increased pace. She kept walking, pushing past those who got in her way, one goal in her mind, find Greasy Sae, she know's what Katniss want'a, it will save her a lot of time and explaining as Sae did not care for petty smalltalk drama.
People started whispering and some were calling out to her, anxious to hear what the Girl On Fire had to say, but they were not getting anything, KAtniss felt as if her voice belonged to him, Snow was ruining her very thoughts, words and dreams.
AS she took each step the crowd grew, her eyes fell to the floor when she spotted Haymitch who joined the crowd, joining in calling out to her, Katniss increased her pace, she could outrun them, that much rest shouldn't have affected her to greatly, she was walking to fast and bumped into someone instantly falling over. She looked up at the person to find the man with the brightest blue eyes staring back at her, she tried to look behind her, but the crowd was close, she tried to brush past him but he caught her by the arm. He tried to spin her but her muscles were still, she wasn't going anywhere.
"Katniss…" He says, filling the silence that was in the air. She presses her lips together and shakes her arm out of his grip roughly before swiftly escaping to her destination.
He was chasing her.