Um… I'm depressed…

I watch the other girls playing around and laughing. I wanted to join them, but really, they were all so much more amazing than me.

Ichigo was peppy, loud, and a strong leader.

Mint was rich and beautiful and a good ally.

Pudding was perpetually happy, a big ball of energy and optimism.

Zakuro was more silent than the rest, but she cared about the group a lot, and was a bit motherly, she was a strong, strong fighter.

…And me?

I'm the quiet one, the shy one, the wallflower. I'm the kind of girl that if I didn't talk, you wouldn't even know I was there. The one you just can't remember in the year book; the person whose name is on the tip of your tongue and never in your mind.

I didn't bring anything to the table, and I didn't shine particularly bright.

So if I were to just disappear…

If I left, I was pretty sure that my comrades might miss me for a week or two, and my family might miss me for a few years.

But eventually I would fade from everyone's mind. I would just be that girl that died a while ago.

God, I wasn't worth a thing, everyone else has so many amazing things about them, but I'm all around average, I'm average in looks, and average in grades, nothing stands out about me. I really wasn't important, if it were the Tokyo mew mews minus Lettuce, no one would mind.

I was the variable.

No one liked me much anyhow. Which way would be easiest to just end it all?

Damn I'm selfish, I don't want to feel the pain, I just want to leave this life.

A bullet to the brain?

An O.D?

Suffocation during sleep?

Or maybe just a simple slice to my throat, or a drowning, I didn't deserve a nice death anyways, I wasn't worth it.

When I do things, I don't amaze, I'm just not a person who would be worth your time.

I want to tell my friends how I feel, but I don't want to worry them; I would just be a waste of mind-time.

I sigh, get up and head for the door, as expected, no one notices. I walk out into the sunshine, but I don't feel its warmth. I just keep going.

As usual I'm looking down, and as usual no one notices me, or calls out to me.

I keep walking, my heart heavy and troubled. The usual frown is on my face.

I wish that I would smile naturally, but I don't when I relax myself, my face always turns to a frown, I guess I didn't smile enough. I sigh once more, and before I know it tears come to my eyes, I run deep into the forest in the park where I curl up on the ground, and cry.

The big ball of pain and sadness inside me emerges, and I am just paralyzed there sobbing quietly.

I look up, and through my tear blurred vision I see it; a rusty old pocket knife, probably dropped by some hiker a long time ago.

I pick it up, and I stare into the metal long and hard, thinking everything over.

Then I decide.