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The Little Nermaid 2: The Trip to Ikea
By: Bobby, 1000th Ghost, and Trisha
Bolded: Bobby
Italicized: 1000th Ghost
Not bolded or italicized: Trisha
Once a pan a time, Willow, Dave, Mitzi, and Cali were chefs at a cat kitchen in Pennsylvania.
The three girl cats decided to ban together and cook Dave.
Willow and Dave were now fully grown, so all the cats got into a huge Pennsylvania cat kitchen cat fight.
Then Darlene appeared and said, "I win the cooking show. Mwahaha. Would you like some peanut pumpkin roll cake with praline peach custard filling and a ghost on top?"
"Sure," said the cats.
The ghost on the top said, "Ooohhh...I am The Ghost of Christmas Past."
Then Willow ate him.
Willow's eyes started to glow, and she spoke, "Ooohhh...I am The Ghost of Christmas Past in the body of a cat."
Then Willow threw up the ghost, and the ghost ate Willow.
Then the ghost grew orange fur and said, "Meow."
It was The Ghost of Willow Past.
Dave said, "Let's go back and see past Willows!" and Cali said, "How are you talking - or me?!" and Mitzi said, "Dumb :D "
The end, except it isn't because what happened to Calimazoo?
Prince Eric said, "Um, I had an affair with Mitzi, and she gave birth to forty-seven t-shirts," and Ariel slapped him across the face and divorced him.
So Prince Eric went off and gave birth to three children.
Their names were Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail.
The end, except it isn't because what happened to The Ghost of Willow Past and The Ghost of Christmas Past?
The Ghost of Christmas Past married The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, and they had several creeptastic babies who ate Willow...again.
Mitzi said, "Oh, don't mind them" - she went right over to Prince Eric and had another affair with him and gave birth to another forty-seven t-shirts, so they had ninety-seven "kids".
The kids of The Ghost of Christmas Past and The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come and the kids of Mitzi and Prince Eric all paired up and got married and had so many children that the world exploded.
The end, except for the third time, what happened to Calimazoo?!
Cali was still like freaking out over the fact that she and all the other cats could talk.
Cali was so confused that she exploded; the blue pig was so excited, he swam up to eat Cali; sadly, Cali had calico mold, and the blue pig fainted - by the way, this whole time they have been under water.
Cali was also confused that Trisha had skipped a page.
Anyway, Prince Eric's and Mitzi's kids and The Ghost of Christmas Past's and The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come's kids got divorced.
Then they were all single and ready to mingle.
The end, except it isn't because what happened to the blue pig?
He married Willow.
Then, all of a sudden, the little nermaid came crashing into the water and said, "Hold on, we have to stop the movie, the jiggly baby's mercat died, and she's angry;" "What," said Willow and Dave; "Sorry, you would have to have been in the first movie. Anyway, she should be here any minute now. Does anyone know where PetSmart is?"
Then Bob the Builder appeared and said, "Dude, I already killed all of you...except those two random kittens...and, uh, these various ghosts," and everyone from the first movie dropped dead.
But since Bob the Builder was also in the first movie, he dropped dead too, and the kittens licked everyone back to health.
Including Bob the Builder, who killed them all again.
So the kittens killed Bob the Builder and nursed everyone back to health except Bob the Builder.
No one remembered what was going on anymore, so suddenly, just to confuse the plot or lack thereof some more, a new character appeared, and its name was Jack Sparrow.
Then the jiggly baby came crashing into the water and crushed Jack Sparrow and killed him, but she knew the plot and told it to everyone, and they went on with the movie.
Jack Sparrow's son, Lil' Jackie, was none too happy that his father had been crushed.
So the jiggly baby crushed him too.
The ghost of Bob the Builder said, "Hey...you're pretty good at squishing people. Want to be my partner?"
"No," said the jiggly baby, and she smushed Bob the Builder's ghost.
The jiggly baby smushed herself.
But she didn't kill herself , so she said, "GET ME A BLUE MERCAT!"
But no one heard her because everyone had been squished.
So she got unsquished and said it again, and everyone heard.
Except, no, they didn't because everyone was squished except for the jiggly baby...and the po-po.
So she squished the po-po and everyone in the world except everyone in the movie and the people who worked at PetSmart.
The po-po's ghost said, "Too bad...I was going to get you a blue mercat."
But the po-po wasn't actually dead, they were just squished, so she unsquished them but only the po-po.
The po-po said, "Psych! You are under arrest for squishing and/or killing people!" and he locked her in jail.
She squished the jail bars and squished the po-po again.
She also squished all of the blue mercats.
So she unsquished them and started for PetSmart, and the little nermaid joined her.
The little nermaid squished her.
The jiggly baby unsquished herself and went to PetSmart and bought herself a blue mercat that couldn't die, and she locked her in a safe with holes in it, and it was indestructible.
Then she woke up...it had all been a dream.
So then she woke up again, and it wasn't a dream.
"JULIET, OOOH, JULIET!" she sang.
Then everyone started hearing stuff like, "Soup, a hamburger, toast;" then Cali, Mitzi, Willow, and Dave woke up, but Prince Eric was having another affair with Mitzi.
"We have to buy all new furniture since like half our castle turned into people," said the nermaid, and Eric's baby brother said, "Wrong fairytale, babe, but let's take a trip to Ikea."
When they got home from Ikea, the instructions for the furniture were so complicated that the prince's tiny, mermaid brain exploded; suddenly, Bob the Builder showed up and decided to build all their furniture as an apology for killing them all last time - unfortunately, he couldn't resist his murderous urges, so he beat them all to death with Ikea furniture.
The End