As always, thank you all for all the amazing reviews and PMs. To those, who asked about a sequel to "With red ribbon" story - there actually is a second part, but it's pure smut (quite explicit), so I won't be posting it here, at least not in the nearest future. If anyone is interested in reading it, please PM me and I will send you the link to where you can find it :)
Steve was surprised to find the bedroom empty as he stepped out of the bathroom. Catherine had taken a shower just before him and he was sure she'd be already snuggled under the covers, smiling and waiting for him to join her. The room was still filled with the faint sweet scent of coconut body lotion, Cath's camo neatly folded on the dresser, her duffelbag placed by the wall, right next to her boots.
Today's reunion wasn't as hectic as their usual meetings - Steve got stuck at work and quite honestly was dead-tired, though Catherine's presence somehow charged his batteries and he was determined to welcome her properly. But that plan had just gone awry as he discovered her absence. It wasn't alarming, he heard the tv playing downstairs meaning she was in the house, but it seemed a little odd. Putting on his boxer briefs and a T-shirt, Steve came down the stairs to find Catherine sitting on the couch, her legs pulled up to her chest, chin resting on her knees, damp hair falling loose around her tired, pale face.
"Cath? What are you doing down here?" Steve frowned as he stepped closer, his eyes never leaving her petite, slightly shivering, form.
This was quite odd and he felt the worry slowly creeping in under his skin. When he drove her from the base back to the house, she was in her usual playful mode, her fingers practically glued to his thigh as he tried to restrain himself. She even joked that if he didn't come back from work soon and in one piece, she was going to usurp his bed and start the party by herself.
Now she looked more tired than he did, her light skin terribly pale, brows slightly furrowed, fingers digging into her calves. Her eyes seemed focused on the tv screen.
"I'm watching a program about, hmm, I'm not sure if it's about cooking or actually about this chef's narcissistic voyages," she pondered unamused, cringing as said chef praised greasy food as the best cure for his major hangover.
"Is everything alright?" Steve didn't even glance toward the tv, his eyes glued to her, searching for any visible bruises or cuts. His first thought was that maybe memories of some mission she had just participated in had come back to haunt her. They had both seen each other more than once in this state, where nightmares and guilt had taken over, but this wasn't it. But it didn't minimize his worry.
"Mhm, of course it is," she said with a small smile as she looked up at him, her brown eyes twinkling warmly.
But her small, barely visible wince didn't go unnoticed. Steve saw how she pressed her lips, almost biting into her bottom lip, her fingers digging harder into her skin, and she flinched slightly.
"Okay, I can see something's not right. What is it?" he pressed, eyes scanning every inch of her body, anxiety rising quickly.
"Nothing, Steve. Really," Catherine sighed, now biting into her lip nervously. She tried to turn her attention back to the tv, but Steve's gaze was still drilling through her. Damn his instincts and stubbornness, could he not notice things just this one time? She would have to tell him either way, there was no other way of explaining why she didn't rip his clothes off right that second.
"Cath..." with hands on his hips Steve stood right in front of her, with no intention to let it go, worry mixing with impatience and enhancing his determination.
"I'm fine. Just a little sore," she finally admitted, realizing too late the poor choice of words.
Steve tensed immediately, his eyes darkening with concern. "Sore? Why are you sore?" His eyes frantically scanned her body over and over again, there weren't any visible scars, but maybe it was something worse, something deeper, broken inside of her, "Are you wounded? Did something happen?"
"Yeah, the same thing that happens every month," Cath said calmly, corners of her mouth twitching in a shy smile. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to shake him off from all those awful images, he must've created in his mind, her own embarrassment forgotten.
"Huh?" Steve stopped in the midst of his thoughts, looking at her completely confused.
Cath couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips at the highly muddled expression on his face. She shook her head, explaining, "I have cramps, Steve."
Confusion turned into a deep-in-thought processing of what she just said and within a few seconds his eyes gleamed with realization. His face paled a little, then turned a light shade of pink.
"Cra-cramps? As in... cramps?" he stuttered, gulping nervously.
With all the situations he thought he was prepared for, this one he hadn't even considered. By some miracle they hadn't had this 'problem' yet, or at least Cath had never mentioned it to him, whenever they were together. Maybe it was by pure luck that they always met before or after that particular phase of her cycle.
"Yes," Cath confirmed, cheek resting on her knees, she was now looking at him with growing amusement.
She knew her period was going to interrupt her time with Steve a bit, but she hoped to have at least one or two days before she would have to break the news to him. Unfortunately it happened faster than she thought, though at least now her embarrassment was nothing compared to Steve's.
"So you're on your... that... monthly thing..." he stammered, nervously gesturing with his hand, not really sure what to do with himself at the moment.
"Period, Steve. It's called period. You can say it, your tongue won't fall off," Catherine rolled her eyes. Men. She had doubted that Steve was afraid of saying this word, much less still shocked at this simple and slightly awkward piece of news, but she intended to have as much fun of it as she could.
"You think you're funny, Rollins?" Steve arched his brow, her sarcastic remark successfully reviving him from his uncomfortable state.
"I think I'm hilarious," she grinned, even more so when he smiled and shook his head, tips of his ears still reddened.
"So, you're on your period," he repeated, his face showing the signs of a renewed thinking process, probably drawing out all the information he had on that matter, pondering about the best approach. He vaguely remembered when Mary got her period and how their dad had tried to help her, but other than this memory he had never encountered a case like that. He wasn't scared, but more unsure of what his next move should be, what he should do to ease her pain.
Cath looked at him sympathetically, poor badass SEAL was embarrassed and as much it amused her, she also felt kind of sorry for him, because it was clear it was the first time that he was with a woman long enough to actually encounter period difficulties. "Yes," she replied softly, "So, as you can see, it's nothing bad."
"Oh, okay," Steve nodded, still fidgeting, "Umm... uh..."
"Spit it out already, you look like you're going to choke on your own tongue," she huffed, rolling her eyes at his antics. At this point she wasn't sure if he was disgusted by the topic or if something else was bothering him.
"Uh, I, do you need something?" he asked finally, his brows furrowed as he looked at her hesitantly, "I mean, do you need to take something or want me to, uh, help?"
"No, I'm fine. Thank you though," Catherine's bright smile didn't ease him and the fact that he was still kind of pacing in front of her started to make her slightly worried.
"Because if you want, I can make you something to eat, or maybe you want some chocolate? Would you like some wine maybe?" he motioned toward the kitchen. He was practically rambling now, something that had never happened before. Scratching the back of his head nervously, he shifted his gaze between Cath and the ground.
"Steve?" She stood up, the sudden move evoking a small pain in her lower back, followed by a sharp cramp that made her wince, but she didn't even let him say a word about that. Cupping his face with her palms, she forced him to look at her, "Steve... You feel the need to help me, don't you?"
Cath finally understood his dismay. It wasn't about the discomfort of talking about her period, Steve felt helpless, because as always he wanted to do something, to help, to ease the pain, and now he was disarmed, without any knowledge of how to. The realization of it touched Catherine's heart, she wanted nothing more than to hug him.
"Yes," Steve admitted quietly, looking a bit sheepish.
Her fingers caressed his face softly, thumbs drawing circles on his cheeks and she stepped even closer, "Are you scared?"
"No," he protested, though the way he scrunched up betrayed his uncertainty.
"Yes you are!" Cath burst out laughing, wrapping her arms around his neck and tilting her head to the side, "Oh god, you're scared that I'm on my period and you have no idea what to expect, besides those lame stereotypical stories that men tell each other! You think I'm gonna be pissed about everything for no reason and start crying?"
"No!" This time his voice didn't crack and he looked straight into her eyes, "None of that. I don't buy that stereotype and I would never assume you would act like that." Honestly, that thought hadn't even crossed his mind. "It's, uh, it's more like I don't know what to do in situations like this. You know, no training, no experience..." Couldn't they at least have had a small intro into the theme while in SEALs?
"Steve, you're so cute," she smiled, kissing him softly. Entwining their fingers, she gently tugged him towards the couch, "Come, sit beside me. There is nothing I want more than your company."
Hesitating at first he finally sat next to her, relaxing when she snuggled close to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. Slowly tracing circles on his hand with her thumb, she shifted her gaze back to the screen. Steve tried to focus on in, but his eyes constantly drifted back to her. He noticed the small sighs, infrequent wincing, how she tightened her grip on his hand from time to time.
"Steve, you're staring at me. What is it?" Cath sat back, looking at him. He was pressing his lips together, evidently thinking about something, nervously tapping his foot.
"Are you in pain?" he asked, his eyes softening, but gleaming with doubt.
"A little," she answered, trying to sound careless, not to enhance his concern. Knowing how protective he was, she didn't want to burden him with unnecessary worries.
"Cath. Don't lie to me," Steve frowned, not buying her attempt to avoid the truth.
He knew her too well, for god's sake, he had memorized her face and knew every little detail, every line that appeared whenever she was sad, mad or happy. He recognized each shade of spark in her eyes, some of them mischievous, others a proof of desire. Her grimace of pain was also easily read, even though she tried to cover it with a smile.
"Okay, so I'm suffering, but it's nothing I can't handle. Besides, I already took some painkillers," she admitted, trying to minimize the image of pain she was experiencing, which Steve was most likely magnifying in his thoughts.
"Will they help?" He probably knew all levels of pain that a human being could suffer, even the highest overwhelming torture effecting in losing consciousness, so the idea of Catherine experiencing even the slightest discomfort was unbearable.
"A little," Cath sighed, scratching the tip of her nose, "It's my first day and the two first days are the worst for me. I just have to make it through them like I do every month." Unfortunately she was one of those women who had it really bad, strong cramps, backpain, flushes of hot, nausea - the whole package.
"Sorry, but... damn, it's scary," Steve winced.
"My period is scary?" She looked at him slightly confused, arching her brows.
"You suffer every month. And I can clearly see it's painful for you and there's practically nothing you can do about it. And worse, there's nothingI can do about it..."
"Why would you want to-oh," the sudden realization hit her, spreading both sympathy and warmth through her body. She had underestimated his protectiveness and the deep care he had for her. Steve never was good with bearing people close to him getting hurt, he had had too much of it in his life and tried to prevent even the possibility of the smallest pain hurting his friends. A period wasn't something really scary, but for him it was hard to sit back and not do anything, when she was aching. The thought that she might be suffering simply terrified him.
Instantly cupping his face with her hands, she leaned closer, "Steve," her lips caressed his gently, pouring all of her heart into it, "I'm sorry you're seeing me in this state, but believe me, it's really not that bad. I swear. Okay?"
"Okay," he closed his eyes for a moment, opening them again to look at straight into hers, "But if it gets worse or you want me to do something..."
"I will tell you, I promise," Cath assured him, once again kissing him, this time softly.
"Good," he sighed when they pulled apart, "Anyway, why are you sitting here? You should go lie down, it's late and you've spent the last five months on a carrier, so don't tell me you don't dream about sleeping on a real bed," he eyed her suspiciously.
"Nah, I'm good here," she shrugged, though already sure he wouldn't buy it.
"Catherine, you're not good here. No one is good on that couch," he gave her a stern look before adding, "I should really buy a new one."
"Should I ask what you've done to this poor couch to make it so rickety?" Cath purposely bounced a few times, a funny squeaking accompanying her giggle.
"You should remember," Steve smirked. A few months ago when she was here they had kind of demolished the house, "It's basically falling apart since you were here the last time. And don't change the subject, Rollins."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she pulled a face, averting her eyes quickly back to the tv, but Steve's fingers under her chin forced her to look up at him again.
"Uh-huh, your innocent face won't work on me. Why are you sitting here and not in bed? And don't try to tell me you're watching this crappy show, because I know it's bullshit," he narrowed his eyes at her.
This time it was Catherine who turned a pretty shade of pink, her gaze dropping to her hands, her bravado replaced by embarrassment. "It's... um... I think it would be better if I slept for a few nights here, at least tonight and tomorrow," she suggested, glancing at him and focusing back on her hands.
"What? Why? Oh..." Steve wondered why would she prefer to sleep on the couch, "If you're uncomfortable with me lying close, then I can take the couch," he offered. There was no way he would let her sleep here, especially in her state.
"No! No, Steve. It's not about closeness," she assured him, stuttering while explaining, "Uh, it's just a little... it would be really embarrasing, if... you have white sheets and covers, I'm afraid to stain it."
"Stain it?" he looked at her dumbfounded and then shook his head "Cath, don't be ridiculous."
Countless times he had slept not only on the ground, but in the deep mud, blood, dried body fluids, covered in other nastiness - stained sheets didn't repel him at all.
"It could happen and then I would probably wish to disappear off the face of the Earth," she felt a hot wave creeping in, reddening her cheeks and neck at the thought of it. She and Steve had shared many intimate and sometimes embarrassing situations, yet this was something new and she simply felt shy.
"I don't care if it happens," Steve practically growled at her stubborness, "You're not sleeping on the couch, Cath. So come on, turn off that crap, we're going to bed," he ordered, standing up and reaching his hand out for her to take.
"Is that an order?" A chuckle escaped her lips as she watched him towering over her with a warning look, that suggested he might actually pull a rank on her if she resisted.
"It's going to be, if you won't move your six right now, Lieutenant," Steve said quite seriously, though the corners of his mouth twitched.
She finally reached for the remote, turning the tv off, before slipping her hand into his, their fingers entwining as he helped her stand up. A pain in her back sent a sudden jolt of discomfort, but quickly dispersed. "You sure I'm the one on a period? Ouch, damn," She couldn't suppress a loud groan, feeling a strong wave of cramps that almost forced her to bend over.
"Hey, you ok? Cath?" Steve's arms instantly went around her, supporting her when she swayed dizzily. He felt her slight shiver as she leaned her forehead on his chest, trying to breathe evenly.
"Yeah. Just another set of cramps," she sighed, straightening up.
"You sure you don't need anything?" he asked, ready to dress and drive to the other side of the island if needed to, or storm into Chin's, dragging Malia back here so she could prescribe some stronger painkillers for Cath.
"There is one thing," Catherine looked up at him, wrapping her arms around him, warm smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, "Your arms around me."