Dan's Pov:
I wonder where he is. I cannot stop thinking about him. I am utterly infatuated with a childish, dorky, adorable person, who is naive in all the right ways. He is all I need right now. Phil will stop all the pain that is building, starting in my finger tips and continuing as a wave of tension, until it bursts through my chest into my mouth, then finally either makes me implode a little bit more, or makes a unnerving sob burst through my mouth.
All I can do is think about what phil would say if he saw this. Saw the silver razor. Or if he saw the story of my life, written in crimson words across my thigh. He would not approve.
He would not approve of the pills in my hands. "He would not approve of this," I think to myself as I put the first one in my mouth and swallow. Then the second. The pile has not shown any perceivable diminishment. The third advil is in my hand on my way to my mouth when I hear him unlock the door. It's now or never.
I start shoveling pills into my mouth. I need 50. "Come on!" I mutter to myself as I see that I've only taken 11.
"Dan are you in here?" I try to say that I'm in the bathroom, but all that comes out is coughing. Needless to say, I'm not in the bathroom. Quickly, I must move quickly, Time is of the essence. I jerked my pants up by the rough beltloops. Come on. They're not coming up.
Time stops.
I make eye contact with the only person I've ever loved.
He speaks no words. He just comes over to me, takes the bloody blade from my hands, and the pills, and walks out of the room.
You've done it this time. He's going to call the ambulance, they're going to lock you up. He hates you. You're so stupid to believe anyone could ever love someone like you. IDIOT. You are going to wish you HAD succeede-
My thoughts are interrupted by him coming back into the room. The first thing he does is look into my eyes. I see myself in his eyes. How are they even called eyes. They're more like globes of blue, swirling, spiraling water. Orbs of a watery grave or heaven. They're the same to me. I love him more than anything.
He wordlessly takes my leg in his hands. The butt chair is cold against my rear. I'm just wearing boxers. He reads the message written in blood on my bare thigh, and looks into my eyes. "Is it true?"
I can only nod. He brings me into a sobbing embrace.
Phil is the reason I'm still here.