"YOU'RE SUCH A JERK!"

Alfred was once again storming out of a meeting - but this time it was totally not his fault! That freaking RUSSIA was just out to get him. Sure he acted all innocent but everyone knew what a liar he was!

Once he was a good distance away he slowed his furious stomping to more like angry pacing.

Man...I need to get that guy back for this! Now how do I do it...what scheme could possibly be bad enough to punish someone who disses McDonalds AND baseball in the same sentence?

There was a buzzing at his side and Alfred begrudgingly answered his brothers text.

Another moment later and he looked to see that Arthur was inviting him out for a drink tonight if he just came back and finished the meeting. Drinking with Artie was always a good stress relief - the man was hilarious drunk.

After shoving the phone back in his pocket Alfred tried to return to his evil plotting as his phone rang yet again.

"Really? What the heck - aargh!"

Suddenly his blue eyes opened wide and in moments a dastardly grin had spread itself across his face.

Russia hummed happily as he left the meeting that day.

Alfred had never returned, how wonderful! He realized that it might be childish to play down to the dumb Americans level but at times it could be amazingly satisfying.

But in the midst of his thoughts his cell rang and he set to digging it out of his massive pockets.

"Strange. My boss shouldn't be at work right now."

Checking this strange marvel of technology he frowned, good mood souring like milk in the summer sun. It was a text from Alfred.

Ha Lzer! I haz ur #! Nw evryne else does 2!

With a blank stare reserved for only the most confusing of moments Russia slowly deleted the text and placed the simple black phone back in his pocket. As he walked to his car he frowned.

"How odd. What does he mean...actually I could not understand any of that garbage he wrote."

There was a rapid fire beeping noise as he phone was set off again and he quickly fished it out only to see he had a pending call. He waited patiently until it stopped ringing - then a little while longer until the 'mail received' icon appeared.

"Strange. I do not know this number..."

It took him a moment to decide what to do with it before ever so cautiously he hit voicemail and listened to this mysterious callers message.

Authors Note:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Alfred has un-leashed the wrath of fandom on his nemesis! Yes. You guys can essentially prank call Russia and leave messages. Basically how it works. And Russia will react accordingly!

/ Side note: I'm not responsible if he tracks you down and busts your head right in with a ratchet./

I only plan to do this for 11 days - after that Russia gets a new number and you can't prank call him anymore. ( basically the story will be listed as 'complete' and closed ) I'll let you know if I extend it though.

The calling begins on July 14 and ends on July 24

Authors Note Note:

Yeah, I need another story like I need another hole in my head. XD but this seemed like such a fun concept that I wanted to try it out. That and it gets me inside all of your heads so I can write better stories for you in the future.

And the disclaimer...I totally do not own Hetalia or the song Phony Calls. I wish I did, I'd be rich and I could hire someone to write fanfiction for me.