Preface

Hello, everyone out there. This is K. I've never posted fanfiction on my own before, so for my first story I wanted to make it something kind of stupid and funny. Hopefully you'll laugh...hopefully. If not, I'll have to work on my skills as a comedian. So yes, don't read this as actual fanfiction. Read it as if you and your friends were at a slumber party and you wrote it at 2 in the morning on a piece of paper you found on the floor...because that's exactly what I did. If you guys really like it, I guess I can make more chapters? But I seriously doubt you'll actually want to keep going. And, based on the way it ends, it'd be pretty hard to keep going. Now don't just go and skip to the end so you can see what I mean. I know that there are people like you out there who read the last chapter, or sentence, or whatever, of a book before starting from the beginning like you're supposed to, and I have my eye on you...just kidding. A lot of my friends do that and I really don't care; no hard feelings. Well, enjoy?

-K

Disclaimer: We do not own anything.

A Divergent Gag

Jeanine's POV

I woke up startled. I was having another one of the dreams again…..about her. And him. Especially him. Everyone thought I went over to Dauntless HQ so much to monitor them and make sure that they were on task. But they were wrong. Dead wrong. I visited so much to see him. Four. Tobias. I despised all of the alone time Tris got with him, so I made sure I visited every day after training.

No alone time. Ever.

If I heard Four ask Tris if she wanted to go to the Ferris Wheel, I'd ask if I could tag along. $harquisha, my servant, said I was crazy if I ever thought Four would go out with me. But if Four didn't like me, then why does he always insist I join him? And Tris seems okay with it, too. I love to picture just the three of us on a beach in Santa Monica, drinking lemonade from coconuts with umbrellas, a boombox playing our favorite songs. But that fantasy probably would never come true, because of the simulation.

Eric wanted us to start injecting the Dauntless brats to make them mindless drones, but I had come up with excuses to put it off. I know it won't last forever, but I can't let them hurt my precious Tris. And Four. Especially Four.

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"What will we do tomorrow, Four?" I asked one evening. Tris, Four and I had just gone swimming in the pool in my mansion. $harquisha was bringing us towels, soft and warm, fresh from the dryer.

"Well, Jeanine, Tris and I were going to go visit Amity and help harvest-"

"Ugh, the dirt people? Hang with the cool kids, not the hippies. There's this awesome party I was invited to that I could get you into-"

"Jeanine, we're going to Amity."

"Fine, if you insist. $harquisha! Fetch my gardening gloves!"

"Fetch them yourself. I need my television time."

"Do you know how much I pay you to sit around and do absolutely nothing?! Tobias, Tris, and I are going to go do hard work in the fields together-"

"ALONE," Four said, strongly. I'd never heard Four speak so harshly like that to me before.

"But, Four, I..I...don't really know what to say, I just..." I started.

He was quick to interrupt. "Jeanine, Tris and I need some alone time." He winked at Tris, who giggled. That man-stealing meany.

"Not that we don't love having you around, but Tris and I are kind of a couple, and it would be awkward if you came on a date with us…"

"No, Four. Tobias. I get it. You guys should just… Just go," I said to them.

"Jeanine, I didn't mean to-"

"Get out, Four. And take her with you." I threw as much disgust as I could into that putrid girl's pronoun.

"Jeanine, listen. We love chilling with-"

"GO. NOW!"

Tobias looked at Tris. She shrugged and skipped away, water droplets from the pool leaving a trail wherever she moved. Four's eyes locked with mine. "Four, I-" I started, but Tris had returned in the doorway.

"Are you coming?" she asked Four.

Tobias's POV

I put on a black shirt with jeans, getting ready for my date with Tris. It was the fanciest thing that I owned. I took one last glance in the mirror, and headed out. I walked over to the tracks, ready to board the train to Amity. When it sped by, I hopped on, hearing crunching coming from the back of the car. I slowly approached the source and saw Tris and Zeke eating cereal and toast together, giggling at each other's milk mustaches.

"Um, Tris?" She looked up, shocked to see me, as if she was guilty of something...

"Oh, Four. I didn't…" Zeke looked up, too, with the same facial expression as Tris.

"Are you two.." I gulped. "...eating together? Tris, how dare you eat breakfast with other men! Gosh, after all of the great times we've had, this is what you resort to? Am I not good enough for you?!"

"Oh hey, buddy! I have a confession to make…"

"What, Zeke? You cereal-eating-"

"I'M ABOUT TO BLOW UP THE WORLD!"

BOOM!

The End

Hope you enjoyed it! Like I said earlier, pretty stupid, right? Please comment nicely, follow RCKTrio, and favorite it if you think it was worthy. Thanks!