The sun was setting over number 4 privit drive a dangerously skinny
and massivly bruised harry potter sat on his bed writing a letter to his
godfather Sirius which he knew would never be delivered. The Dursleys had
been treating him worse then ever and his uncle had threatened to kill him
if he squealed to the order. If anymore then one day was left before he
would make his way to the train station Harry would have committed suicide.
Insert chorus of "Numb" thankfully tonight would be his last night in the
utterly desolate, insert many, many, more huge ass words that make no
sense house, he was off to kings cross the very next day.
After the long summer Harry was at last at the train station about to once again embark on his journey to Hogwarts, he met up with Ron and Hermione one the platform and found a compartment. After the train ride they rode to the castle on the no longer horseless carriages. They make their way up to the castle and possibly because of the magic of Hogwarts or some other unknown force harry is no longer scrawny or disheveled, but is now buff and well toned, (which totally doesn't make any sense because in the beginning of the story he was being starved to death and locked in his room, Any way on with the fic) The three found seats inside the great hall insert unneeded 3 page long description of the ceiling and waited for the sorting to start.
The sorting was over, and the feast was just about to begin when suddenly the doors burst open and in walked the most beautiful most stunning most drop dead gorgeous girl anyone had ever seen. Every single boy in the great hall's chin dropped to the floor, as did many of the teachers
"Sorry I'm late. I ran into a pack of dementors, werewolf's, angry centaurs, death eaters, basilisks, manticores, voldemort himself, and a stampede of ravaging telemarketers, and I had to fight them all off single handedly with out the help of aurors, fully trained wizards, or even my wand."
"Yo, dawgs," Dumbledore rose from his seat again "this uh slipped me, for uh um secondizzle we uh got a babe here from the uh states, the apple I thinksizzles cumin over fo' the parta" he said with lame, freakish, and totally terrifying attempts to be "hip"
The oh so sexy new comer flitted gracefully up to the sorting stool, with the whole school goggling over her, and placed the hat on her head.
"A though one," the hat whispered. "You've got the courage of a Gryfindor, the loyalty of a hufflepuff, the intelligence of a ravenclaw, and the cunningness of a Slytherin, plus your damn sexy, that leaves only one choice GRYFFINDOR!" the hat finally bellowed.
The girl pranced over to the Gryffindor table, Her long, sparkling, locks bouncing behind her. She took a seat in between ron and harry, and across from hermione
"hi" harry introduced himself, "Im harry potter and I have a rippling mass of muscles and a well toned body after coming back this year"
"Yea" added ron "Im ron weasly and im no longer tall and gangly, and I have a well defined chest, a twenty pack from the summer, and my fiery red hair is now a tamer shade of auburn"
"and I'm Hermione granger, I have suddenly attained womanly curves over the summer in all the right places, had a makeover, went shopping in America, and got my hair straightened."
"Nice to meet you all" the girl said with her angelic voice like the song of a turkey, the bodily functions of a hippo, the sound of cheese against the grater, and the wind rustling through the leaves of a peanut butter tree. "I would introduce my self but I have a dark secret and by revealing my true identity I would be putting your lives in grave danger...that, and it is so long, mysterious, insanely spelled, and made up of nonsense words I myself am having trouble remembering it at the moment. However for the time being you may call me by my nickname, Emma Rose Destiny Daffodil Cherry Tree De Flavio. Today I will be stealing your hearts with my dazzling looks, Boggling your mind with my insane inelegance, and have you rolling on the floor laughing with my ridiculous sense of humor and witty remarks. Thank you and goodnight"
With that she flounced off out of the great hall leaving all of Hogwarts in awe.
Ok there's the first chapter. I don't think its that good but review anyway and if you like it I'll write more.
After the long summer Harry was at last at the train station about to once again embark on his journey to Hogwarts, he met up with Ron and Hermione one the platform and found a compartment. After the train ride they rode to the castle on the no longer horseless carriages. They make their way up to the castle and possibly because of the magic of Hogwarts or some other unknown force harry is no longer scrawny or disheveled, but is now buff and well toned, (which totally doesn't make any sense because in the beginning of the story he was being starved to death and locked in his room, Any way on with the fic) The three found seats inside the great hall insert unneeded 3 page long description of the ceiling and waited for the sorting to start.
The sorting was over, and the feast was just about to begin when suddenly the doors burst open and in walked the most beautiful most stunning most drop dead gorgeous girl anyone had ever seen. Every single boy in the great hall's chin dropped to the floor, as did many of the teachers
"Sorry I'm late. I ran into a pack of dementors, werewolf's, angry centaurs, death eaters, basilisks, manticores, voldemort himself, and a stampede of ravaging telemarketers, and I had to fight them all off single handedly with out the help of aurors, fully trained wizards, or even my wand."
"Yo, dawgs," Dumbledore rose from his seat again "this uh slipped me, for uh um secondizzle we uh got a babe here from the uh states, the apple I thinksizzles cumin over fo' the parta" he said with lame, freakish, and totally terrifying attempts to be "hip"
The oh so sexy new comer flitted gracefully up to the sorting stool, with the whole school goggling over her, and placed the hat on her head.
"A though one," the hat whispered. "You've got the courage of a Gryfindor, the loyalty of a hufflepuff, the intelligence of a ravenclaw, and the cunningness of a Slytherin, plus your damn sexy, that leaves only one choice GRYFFINDOR!" the hat finally bellowed.
The girl pranced over to the Gryffindor table, Her long, sparkling, locks bouncing behind her. She took a seat in between ron and harry, and across from hermione
"hi" harry introduced himself, "Im harry potter and I have a rippling mass of muscles and a well toned body after coming back this year"
"Yea" added ron "Im ron weasly and im no longer tall and gangly, and I have a well defined chest, a twenty pack from the summer, and my fiery red hair is now a tamer shade of auburn"
"and I'm Hermione granger, I have suddenly attained womanly curves over the summer in all the right places, had a makeover, went shopping in America, and got my hair straightened."
"Nice to meet you all" the girl said with her angelic voice like the song of a turkey, the bodily functions of a hippo, the sound of cheese against the grater, and the wind rustling through the leaves of a peanut butter tree. "I would introduce my self but I have a dark secret and by revealing my true identity I would be putting your lives in grave danger...that, and it is so long, mysterious, insanely spelled, and made up of nonsense words I myself am having trouble remembering it at the moment. However for the time being you may call me by my nickname, Emma Rose Destiny Daffodil Cherry Tree De Flavio. Today I will be stealing your hearts with my dazzling looks, Boggling your mind with my insane inelegance, and have you rolling on the floor laughing with my ridiculous sense of humor and witty remarks. Thank you and goodnight"
With that she flounced off out of the great hall leaving all of Hogwarts in awe.
Ok there's the first chapter. I don't think its that good but review anyway and if you like it I'll write more.