Roseanne: Tidbits

A/N: So this story is mainly just going to be little ideas for what would've been great scenes between the scenes we actually saw for certain episodes. Hope everybody enjoys, this is my first attempt at writing Roseanne though I've been a fan of the show for many years. Standard disclaimer: don't own, don't sue. Please read and review.

"You're dead. OH BOY are you dead! The LATE Roseanne Conner!" Dan told Roseanne as he left the kitchen.

Roseanne stood back in her witch costume and laughed at Dan's outburst. She held her hand out to Geoff and told him, "Thanks for your help, Geoff, this is one Halloween I'm going to remember for the rest of my life."

"You're welcome, Roseanne," Geoff replied as he shook her hand, "I hope I didn't cause you any trouble with Dan."

"Oh so he got the crud scared out of him and thought he lost out on a major job, he'll get over it," she said nonchalantly.

From the living room, the doorbell sounded, Roseanne looked at Geoff and told him, "I gotta go, we got a house to haunt, and now I'm going to have to find a way to improvise around the missing mad scientist."

"It was nice meeting you, Roseanne," Geoff called after her as he headed for the back porch, "Happy Halloween."

"Happy Halloween!" Roseanne called back cheerily as she scampered back to the living room and told D.J., "Hit it!"

Roseanne hit the button on the tape player so the greeting, "Welcome to the Tunnel of Terror! Ha-ha-ha! Please, join us!" played more or less in time with D.J.'s lip synching. She, Jackie, Crystal and the girls saw a couple dozen more trick or treaters, and their parents, through the Conner haunted house that night, all the while Dan and Geoff talked business out by the garage.

A couple hours later when everything was wrapping up for the night, Geoff was getting ready to leave and he told Dan, "I'm sorry about that gag earlier, your wife really wanted to scare you and…" he shrugged mischievously, "I guess I couldn't resist."

"Oh yeah," Dan tried to be nonchalant about it, "Well it's all in good fun, Geoff, uh, Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare, right?"

"I guess so," Geoff responded as he turned to head for his car in the front. He turned back to the man in the white lab coat, who'd had an axe in his forehead for part of the night and said to him, "I hope you're not mad at your wife about this."

"Mad? Me?" Dan asked with his eyes squinted and a big grin on his face, "No, I'm not mad, Geoff, I don't get mad."

They said their goodbyes and Geoff headed for the street out front, and Dan turned towards the garage and said to himself, "I don't get mad…I get even," and he headed into the garage.

"I'm exhausted," Roseanne said as she flipped off the light for the front porch.

"I'm just glad to get out from under that table," Jackie said as she stretched her legs before collapsing on the couch, "Half of Lanford must've passed through this house tonight."

"Hey," Becky stood in the doorway from the kitchen and said, "The apples are still leftover from the apple bob, nobody got to use them."

"There's a ton of candy left too," Darlene added as she came out of the kitchen, "We rushed everyone out before they were able to get it."

"Whoops," Roseanne replied in a coy tone with a cheeky grin on her haggy face.

"Roseanne," Jackie looked at her sister inquiringly.

Roseanne just shrugged and replied, "Hey it's not like they didn't get nothing." She gestured to the table in the living room and said, "We gave away most of the hot dogs."

"Cold hot dogs, yum," Darlene sarcastically said, "Bet that goes great in between a popcorn ball and a Hershey bar."

Crystal and Lonnie came in off the back porch and Crystal, finally done with her Glinda voice and speaking like she normally did again, told Roseanne, "Hey Roseanne, we're going home, I gotta get Lonnie to bed."

"Mom!" her son, reluctantly dressed as a pirate, whined as he followed after her.

"Well thanks for coming, Crystal, it was a great time with you here," the black haggy witch gave the blue glittery witch a hug goodbye, "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"'Kay," Crystal headed for the front door and waved goodbye with her wand, "Bye everybody, Happy Halloween!"

"Happy Halloween," Jackie and D.J. called back.

"Okay, you guys start taking what you want out of the candy that's left," Roseanne took down a couple of the Halloween decorations and said, "I'm going to take a few of these things out to the garage now while I still got the energy and the interest, so there won't be so much to clean up tomorrow." She headed for the kitchen, but turned back and told them firmly, "But hey! Don't hog all the good chocolates, that's my job."

Roseanne tried to let on that she wasn't impressed with Dan's joke on her, but the truth was even now she could still feel her heart pounding against her chest. He'd stayed out by the garage to gloat at being the 'master'. Well he didn't know who he was messing with. It was payback time and payback, just like her, could be a real bitch.

As Roseanne reentered the kitchen, she tried to think of what would be the best way to get revenge on Dan, what would scare him worse than anything? After a minute, it came to her. She went to the phone on the kitchen wall and dialed a number, and waited.

"Hey Crystal, are you in bed yet?" Roseanne asked, and after Crystal's response she halfheartedly replied, "Sorry. Hey listen, I think my phone's going bad, can you call me back and I'll see if it rings?" She grinned, "Thanks."

She hung up the phone and tensely waited. A few seconds later, she saw Dan enter the kitchen, still strutting around, going every so often, "The master!"

The phone rang, Roseanne picked it up. "Hello?" She rolled her eyes and grumbled, "Hi, Mom."

Dan took that as a cue to leave the kitchen since the phone call wasn't for him, and he didn't want to talk to Bev.

Roseanne waited until he was out of earshot and said lowly into the receiver, "I'll explain tomorrow, thanks, Crystal." She heard a click on the other end of the receiver and said into hers as she stretched the cord over to the kitchen table, "That's great, Mom…uh huh." She pulled out a chair and sat down, however long it took for Dan to come back into the kitchen, she was going to be ready. The master, indeed.