She knew what John had been up to now; why he had left in the TARDIS.
"Rose, by the time you get this message, I will be gone. My body may be alive, but my consciousness, my memories and feelings…they're all gone. I knew what was inside of me…I was trying to destroy it before it destroyed me. I promised you forever, and that's what I maintained while I could…I am sorry that I couldn't keep my promise. Ten years was so much shorter than I expected to have with you. No amount of time could have ever been enough. I wish I could have solved this dilemma myself…but now that I'm gone, it's up to you. Rose Smith, Defender of Earth."
John paused for a moment as a tear rolled down his face. He was remembering the day their lives changed. When they thought they would never see each other's faces again. Doomsday. That moment flashed through Rose's mind as well, and all three of them flinched at the memory…and then John sighed as Rose watched the holographic tear trail down to his trembling lips.
"I love you so very much Rose Smith. I hope in time…you can forgive me."
The hologram dissipated into nothingness, leaving Rose alone in what seemed like complete darkness. She felt hollow. Empty. She fell to her knees in a heavy sob. Her legs were too weak to support her any longer. Even with Eleven by her side, she felt completely alone. She had built so many memories with John, and looking into the new face of the Doctor just wasn't the same. She loved the Doctor, but she loved the old Doctor more. She had memorized every glance, every expression, and every crease on his face. She had memorized the way his eyes sparkled in the moonlight and the way they danced every time he came up with something brilliant. She missed his enthusiasm, his laughter; she missed his voice, and even his obsessive love for bananas. Eleven was just so different than Ten, and she didn't know if she could handle the thought of not waking up to John's face ever again.