Title: Past Assumptions
Fandom: Super Danganronpa 2
Pairings: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Naegi Makoto/Komaeda Nagito
There was a time when Hinata thought he actually stood a chance.
Maybe that was being too presumptuous, too confident of himself, and he knows that even if his confidence seems to suffer big time, he can't deny that he has always been a little bit too assuming for his liking. It was almost funny, how contradictory those things are. Funny how despite feeling that he's average, feeling that he has nothing he can actually boast about, he still had the audacity to assume things.
Maybe it was how Komaeda used to always hang around him, eagerly listening to his words with sparkling and trusting eyes. How Komaeda used to always be there for him, saying things like "It would be my honor to be of assistance" or "I'll do anything you want me to do", and despite Hinata refusing his offers, saying that he shouldn't talk that way, he probably wholeheartedly believed that those offers will always stand.
It was always Hinata and Komaeda, Komaeda and Hinata, and it was pretty much strange to see one without the other. Among their circle of friends (or acquaintances, Komaeda still thinks that Hinata is his only friend, something that Hinata wants to change but doesn't at the same time), there was no one who could have threatened the chance that Hinata had.
Hanamura hits on Komaeda sometimes, but then again, he does that to everyone, so Hinata doesn't really take him seriously as long as his... harassment, for lack of better words, doesn't go too overboard. Like there was a time when Hanamura offered to gag Komaeda and give him "the time of his life", and it took almost everyone of their classmates to keep Hinata from deep frying Hanamura in lava.
Koizumi and Saionji are too focused on each other, Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu as well, Mioda seems to generally prefer friendship, same goes with Tsumiki that time, Nidai and Owari seem to have something going on, Tanaka and Sonia too, Nanami seems uninterested, and Souda doesn't even bother to hide his obvious crush on their class's princess.
In other words, it's only Hinata and Komaeda left, and for an assuming person like Hinata, it was heavily difficult to stop assuming.
He thought that even if they weren't in a romantic relationship at the moment, they would eventually fall for each other because really, there was no one else. It was only them, and Hinata thought that they were perfect for each other.
He liked... loved... still loves Komaeda so much that it hurt, and while it was tempting to initiate things since they happened to be roommates, Hinata made sure to keep his self-restraint intact because he respects Komaeda so much that he feels even guilty thinking about him in rather... compromising situations.
While Hinata would love doing something like that, he admittedly preferred to just hug and sleep next to each other, savoring each other's warmth and maybe... sharing the same dream?
Hinata's assuming nature makes him think of too good to be true situations sometimes.
After all, it turned out that all of these, everything that he has thought until now, were all nothing but exactly that- too good to be true situations.
He supposed it's his fault for getting ahead of himself so much that it's enough to be called his Super High School Level Talent.
Speaking of Super High School Level Talents... ahh, Hinata makes himself laugh so much it's not even funny anymore.
To enter Hope's Peak Academy, one must have to be a high school student, and they must be the best in their field. It can be cooking, photography, dancing, and other things.
As for Hinata, he only satisfied one of those requirements.
To be able to enter Hope's Peak, his family paid a rather costly tuition fee, but if he were to be honest, it feels like they only bought Hope's Peak's name and nothing but that.
He was an exception, well, to be fair, he's not the only one, but he's an even special case among those who are already exceptions.
Because of his unyielding determination and admiration for the academy, he has been granted a privilege to mingle with the main course. They made it sound like he earned a reward, but he knows it was nothing but a mere experiment, to see if a Reserve Course Student can keep up with the rest of the main course. Admittedly, it wasn't a walk in the park for Hinata, but he tries, tries so hard, because he knows that if he gets anything less than ninety-two, they'll deem him unworthy yet again and return him to the Reserve Course, and Komaeda would know-
Ah, that's right.
Komaeda doesn't know the truth.
To be fair, no one does, but it still makes Hinata feel like a filthy liar.
The school covered up for him, saying that his Super High School Level Talent is a secret between him and the researchers, reasoning out that his talent is too important for anyone to just know carelessly.
Komaeda never bugged him about it, and that's something that made Hinata feel even worse.
It's as if Komaeda trusts him so much despite the fact that there's something that he hides, and that just... makes Hinata hurt, almost unreasonably so.
He wonders what he will do if Komaeda's trust for him turns out to be nothing but more of his assumptions.
Will he feel better because he deserves it?
Will he feel worse because he knows that he's far too impudent and still feel betrayed?
Everything suddenly changed after a year.
They were in second year then, and he was confident that things will proceed the same way the previous year- Komaeda and he will still be together all the time, Komaeda would still be there for him all the time, there will still be no one who threatened his chance and all those crap, but no.
He couldn't be more wrong.
Komaeda invited him during the first day of school that year to welcome the freshmen. Hinata didn't think anything of it that time because Komaeda has always been readily helpful, so he probably just wanted to assist their underclassmen as well.
But no, he was wrong again.
Komaeda didn't even try offering his help to anyone. He was just there, eagerly watching the freshmen enter the campus with an admiring (his eyes were always like that when it came to these symbols of hope that he loved, but for some reason, the admiration seemed extra that time) look in his face, almost as if he was waiting for a particular someone.
Komaeda knew all of them for some reason- there was an idol, a baseball player, a programmer, Hinata frankly doesn't care, and then he sees someone enter, someone with brown hair like him, someone with green eyes like him, and someone with similar clothing style with Komaeda somehow. Hinata felt everything in him scream, he felt the inexplicable urge to pull Komaeda from there and just return to their classroom, but when he turned to Komaeda, he froze in his spot because that look of admiration that he saw earlier seemed to have doubled, quadrupled, Hinata doesn't even know that that was still possible.
He felt like he burned when he heard Komaeda's voice.
"Hinata-kun... that one. He's Naegi Makoto-kun..." His voice sounded like the usual, but it still felt different somehow. "The Super High School Level Hope."
Hinata could have sworn that he heard the sound of a thousand glasses simultaneously breaking.
Ever since that day, Komaeda's usually calming voice started to become a painful scratch for Hinata.
"Hinata-kun! I bumped into Naegi-kun today!"
"Hinata-kun, you won't believe this, I helped Naegi-kun find the library today! I don't think he'd remember me, but it's okay!"
"Hinata-kun, Naegi-kun and I bumped into each other again today! Actually, we bumped into each other twice today, one during lunch time, and one during dismissal time! I'm so embarrassed, what if he thinks I'm doing it on purpose? I mean, I swear those are all chance meetings, I'll never do something as disrespectful as intentionally bump on the Super High School Level Hope!"
"Hinata-kun, Naegi-kun greeted me today, I can't believe this, this good luck is far too much!"
"Hinata-kun, I was in the library today and it happened that Naegi-kun was there too! I helped him with geometry and statistics, I mean, I'm not good at all, but I did my best to assist him! Ahh, I hope I was of help somehow! I mean, I'm sure Naegi-kun just needed to refresh his knowledge about those subjects- I know that he'd pass even without the help of someone like me!"
Naegi-kun this, Naegi-kun that, Hinata won't lie- he was pissed.
And pained.
Mostly pained.
It was painful that he doesn't even feel like he's conversing with Komaeda anymore. Truth to be told, he felt like he was just talking to a Naegi Encyclopedia now. They used to talk about... everything, really, he didn't care back then, he thought every topic was fun because they were actually talking about each other. They were learning more and more with each conversation that they had as they grew closer. Now what Hinata is learning are things like "What a coincidence! Naegi-kun and I buy our clothes from the same brand!" and "Naegi-kun has a little sister, did you know?" - Things that he can do with without knowing.
It was almost ridiculous. It completely escaped him that it was possible that the person who will threaten his chance with Komaeda is not someone from their class. He became overconfident, thinking that since he's Komaeda's only friend, he was the only option.
He thought that Komaeda talking about Naegi in a daily basis was painful enough.
No, of course he was wrong again.
There will always be something worse.
He questioned himself... He wondered how Komaeda even gets those opportunities- bumping into Naegi a lot, hanging out with him in the library... Those shouldn't have happened, right? Since even if Komaeda likes Naegi so much, Hinata is still the best friend, right? He's still the one that Komaeda should rightfully be hanging out with. So how...
Right.
It was because of that.
Because of being a Reserve Course Student, Hope's Peak's researchers require him to report to him once in a while to check on him (his grades). It just happened that for some reason, this year, they were calling for him even more so than they did the previous year, giving Komaeda plenty of opportunities to be with Naegi to his heart's content.
That's probably bad luck on Hinata's part, but good luck on Komaeda's.
Komaeda is the Super High School Good Luck, after all. Hinata wondered if Komaeda willed that Hinata be busy most of the time so he can be with his dear Naegi-kun.
The possibility makes Hinata feel like he's being beaten up.
He made sure that he'll be free the whole week, and so, feeling confident, he approached Komaeda during lunch time and invited him to the roof. Nobody usually goes to the roof, and Hinata badly wanted to be alone with Komaeda again because despite the fact that they're roommates, it feels like Naegi's always with them, and he hates, hates that so much.
Komaeda smiled at him apologetically, scratching his cheek lightly. Hinata almost got lost at his sheer cuteness... until he realized that he was indeed smiling apologetically, of course.
Apologetic smiles equal rejection, after all.
"I'm so sorry, Hinata-kun. I promised Naegi-kun today that we'll hang out in the courtyard... ah! Why don't you come with us? I can introduce you to each other. I'm sure you'd get along, Hinata-kun! Luckily, I brought enough food for three people! I wanted to be sure we won't be short, that's why. This is really fortunate!"
Hinata's first instinct was to reject the kind invitation, of course. He doesn't really want to meet Komaeda's crush, he doesn't want to see the both of them interact, he doesn't want to see how Komaeda looks at him... but he can imagine. Komaeda's pupils will probably dilate, his voice rising a few pitches, and he will be more enthusiastic than ever.
It will be like enduring torture.
And that's why... "Sure, of course. I'd love to meet him."
Because even if it will be torture and that he'd probably bruise his own heart in the process, it's his poor attempt to feel in control.
They proceeded to the courtyard, as Komaeda said. Naegi was already there, waiting under one of the trees. It wasn't too huge of a tree, not small either, but enough to shade the three of them. Naegi waves at them, and Komaeda most energetically waves back that Hinata felt compelled to force at least a really small smile. When they reach the tree, the air felt tense, but Hinata can bet that that's just him.
...Yeah, it's totally just him. Because Naegi immediately smiles at him and offers him a hand.
"I'm Naegi Makoto." Yeah, Hinata thought. I'm so tired of hearing your name. "Super High School Level Hope, from Class 78. Haha, it's an embarrassing talent, I still don't think I deserve it, but... It's nice to meet you." I know. I heard that a million times before. But embarrassing? He called his talent embarrassing?
Despite his not so friendly thoughts, Hinata shook his hand and smiled back. "Hinata Hajime. I'm Komaeda's classmate from Class 77. It's nice to meet you too."
Naegi nodded, still with a smile. "I'm just curious, Hinata-kun. I hope you don't mind me asking... Your Super High School Level Talent is...?"
Nothing. Hinata suddenly felt even more inadequate than before. Is it the effect of meeting the Super High School Level Hope that Komaeda admires so much?
"...It's a secret." Hinata almost hurriedly replied. He has practiced this particular lie a lot of times before already, but for some reason, he felt like Naegi will find him out. He felt like Naegi can and will see through his lie, and he was almost intimidated. "Only the researchers know."
"Ah, is that so." Naegi smiles again, and Hinata was infinitely thankful that he didn't push it.
The three of them ate, Komaeda making conversation here and there and the both of them will reply. Hinata generally was silent though as he tries to fight the growing prick in his chest.
Komaeda was visibly pleased that they already have met, but Hinata is just increasingly feeling tense in every second that passed by. He wonders if Komaeda noticed because the latter suddenly spoke up. "Do you guys want to play shiritori? It's a good game, but if you guys don't want to, then I'll come up with something else."
"No need..." Hinata replies. "I mean, you don't have to think up another one. I'm okay with it."
Hinata knows that game. Shiritori. It's when a person says a word, and the next person should say a word that starts with the last syllable the previous person said.
"I'm okay with it as well, Komaeda-kun. How should the flow go?"
"Hm... Well, I can go first, I suppose. Then Naegi-kun. Then Hinata-kun. But if any of you want to go first, then it's alright too."
"That flow is alright with me." Naegi smiles then turns to Hinata, as if wordlessly asking if he's fine with it too.
"Yeah. It's good."
"Alright!" Komaeda chuckled. "Kibou (Hope)." Of course, Hinata thought. Komaeda was eagerly looking at Naegi, and it makes Hinata want to just lose consciousness.
"Utsukushii (Beautiful)." Naegi returns Komaeda's smile, causing Komaeda to lightly blush, and Hinata wondered if this little shiritori game is just nothing but disguised flirting.
He realizes it's his turn, and he lamely says, "Ii (Good)."
Komaeda's attraction to Naegi is painfully obvious, his blush is painfully obvious, everything is painfully obvious and painful.
"Isshou (Together)." Komaeda speaks, and he was still looking at Naegi with that same lovestruck expression.
"Ureshii (Happy)." Naegi replies. Hinata is starting to feel like an outsider.
"Ika (Cuttlefish)." That was Hinata's attempt to keep the words from being too sentimental.
"Kanpeki (Perfect)." Komaeda says, and Hinata wonders why he's even here in the first place.
"Kisu (Kiss)." Naegi replies, and Komaeda giggles as a response. Naegi joins in his laughter, and Hinata asks himself if it's normal to be this frustrated because of a shiritori game.
"Suki." Hinata looked at Komaeda, and he wondered if his desperation is too obvious. He wanted Komaeda to look at him the way he does to Naegi, to talk to him in that voice, to smile at him that way... but right now as his voice shook while saying that goddamn single word, he just...
...Felt hopeless.
Hah, Komaeda won't be proud of him at all.
Before Komaeda replies, the school bell interrupted him, and Hinata just wanted to storm out of there.
So he left, but not before delivering a forced "Thanks, guys. I just remembered I have to go ahead, sorry. Catch you both later." as an effort to lighten his rudeness.
Neither Komaeda and Naegi minded though. Hinata can bet that they even want him to leave.
He just wants to cry, if he were to be honest. But it's easier for him to be pissed and annoyed compared to that.
Everything just hurts. He can feel swords piercing him until the moment he was far from the courtyard, back in the classroom, back in the dorm... until he got used to that sensation, to the point where he realizes that he should not get used to that but there's really nothing he can do about it but bear with it. The swords piercing him just increase in number every time he sees Komaeda smiling about Naegi, talking about Naegi, talking to Naegi, Naegi, Naegi, Naegi-
Hinata's just so, so sick of everything.
One time he punches the mirror in their dorm room out of frustration.
He only realizes how stupid doing so was when Komaeda decided to come home right at that moment. His happy expression immediately turned into a worried one. He hurried to Hinata and touched him with those smooth hands. He was the one who washed off the blood from Hinata's fist, scolding him while applying the necessary first aid. That's the only reason why Hinata didn't regret committing stupidity of that level. In fact, he felt tempted to punch more mirrors.
When his fist was bandaged and all, they sat in silence next to each other, and Hinata loved every second of it. It's probably the first time in a long while that they spent half an hour together without Naegi's name being mentioned at least once.
"Hinata-kun..."
"Hey."
Komaeda sighs. "It's bad... if I ask why you did that, right? I don't want to disrespect your privacy, but I'm really worried about you, Hinata-kun."
Hinata leans towards Komaeda and wraps his arms around the other tightly against his better judgment. Komaeda evidently was surprised, and it takes a good five seconds before he hesitantly returns the embrace.
"Hinata-kun..." His voice is starting to feel comforting again, just like it was before. Hinata hides his face on the latter's shoulder. If this continues... "Please tell me what's wrong."
...If this continues, he'd really tear up.
What's wrong?
"...I don't know how to say it."
"You're upset about something, right?"
Hinata nods and tightens his embrace even more. He should maximize this. This will probably never happen again anymore. He won't let himself be this vulnerable again, and who's to say Komaeda will be alright with him touching him like this again?
"What is Hinata-kun upset about?"
"I'm..." Hurt? Angry? Jealous? "...scared."
"What is Hinata-kun scared about?"
Losing you? No, he can't say that.
...And isn't it too late to think that?
"Please just let me hold you right now..." Hinata whispers. "...If it's okay, I mean. I don't want to force you."
"It's okay." Komaeda replies, and Hinata closes his eyes. He just wants to get lost in that voice forever. "I'm not going anywhere."
You don't mean that, Hinata thought. That was his immediate reaction upon hearing Komaeda's response. He can't possibly mean that. He doesn't know what he's saying.
"You're my best friend, Hinata-kun. I'm here for you."
Hinata wanted to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the whole situation, but he forces himself not to. He doesn't open his eyes, trying to keep his tears from spilling because he's supposed to be tougher than that.
For now, he'll just delude himself that all his past assumptions were true, that they were still perfect for each other, that he still stood a chance.
It was always Hinata and Komaeda, Komaeda and Hinata, and it was pretty much strange to see one without the other. Among their circle of friends, there was no one who could have threatened the chance that Hinata had.
Always.
No one.
Among their circle of friends.
...Ridiculous.