A/N All rights for Harry Potter goes to J. K. Rowling. Teardrops On My Guitar belongs to Taylor Swift. Enjoy!
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
And I want and I need
Everything that we should be
We are in the Head dorms, Scorpius and I. He looks at me after saying something, and I just fake a smile which of course he doesn't pick up on. He's my best friend, but I wish it was so much more. I wished he loved me as much as I loved him, and not that brotherly love I knew he only feels for me.
I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without
He goes on and on about some girl, and I just wish I could be her. Beautiful, he calls her, and I believe him. She's got everything that I wish I had. She was beautiful, while I was just the auburn haired, blue- eyed best friend. I would never be pretty, with my pasty skin and ungodly amount of freckles. She had a great sense of humor while I just studied (I pulled lots of pranks too, but no one would expect perfect, Head Girl Rose to be a trouble- maker which is why I get away with it). She had Scorpios' heart, while I just wished I could have a small fragment of it.
Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me
He tells his punch line, and I go into a fit of un-girlish snorts, guffaws, and otherwise unladylike laughter. I wish he would actually SEE me though, because when we're together, he's the ONLY person I see. I mean sure, I have been asked out by my fair share of people but those boys see me as Rose Weasley, perfect daughter of Ron and Hermione Weasley, not Rose Weasley, rebel and prankster. Scorp sees me as the latter rather than the former since him and Al have helped me with many of my pranks.
He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night
He tells me that he's in love, but he still won't tell me with who. I drives me insane how he can be so mysterious yet so innocent and naive at the same time. He looks at me with this strange look sometimes. His eyes go out of focus, and it takes me forever to bring him back into the real world. Sometimes I wish I could go to wherever he goes when he gets that look, just to see what it is he is thinking so hard about. He doesn't even see what he's doing to me. I'm losing weight and sleep over him (whenever anyone asks about it I shrug it off as N.E.W.T. anxiety even though I'm honestly not that worried about them). Can Scorpius seriously not know that I stay up hours past midnight trying to clear him out of my system?
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
He's the only one who knows about the guitar I keep in a case under my bed. Every now and then I take it out and play it, singing the song we wrote together in 5th year. It was our song, but I doubt he even remembers it anymore. Still, every night I wish on a star that he loved me as much as I loved him.
Drew walks by me
Can't he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
It's a Saturday afternoon, and me and Scorp are sitting under our favorite tree by the lake. We're goofing off and cracking jokes like always, but I'm keenly aware of all the pining glances girls are throwing at Scorp and all the jealous glare digging into my back as Scorp carelessly throws his arm across my shoulders. Does he know the affect he has on me? I'm desperately wishing I could use mom's old turn table to go back to 5th year when I didn't have romantic feelings for my best friend.
She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause
I'm walking back to the castle the day before the last Hogsmeade, when Joseph Zabini, a renounced playboy, pulls me aside. He asks me to Hogsmeade tomorrow, and I quickly answer yes, hoping this will help me get my mind off Scorpius.
xXTime SkipXx
I come running into the Heads' dorms Scorpius and I share (go figure right? As if I don't have enough to distract me, we share a bloody common room and bathroom). I obviously did not think things through when agreeing to go on a date with Zabini.
The date itself was fine, if not a little uncomfortable. We went to the over-crowded Three Broomsticks and had to sit rather close in order to talk over the noise of 100 plus Hogwarts students. He ordered me Butterbeer after butterbeer, and I was starting to feel the effects of the small amounts of alcohol in each drink; it wasthe walk back that was a problem.
It was dark outside when we started the trek back to the castle, and to "prolong the wonderful evening [he] had," Zabini wanted to take a longer route past the Shrieking Shack. When we got there, he pushed me against the wall of the Shack and started kissing me roughly. I tried pushing him away, but of course he was stronger than me. He kissed up and down my neck, and tried to lift my shirt while I desperately fought him. When he brought his disgusting lips back to mine, I took a risky chance. I bit down as hard as possible in his bottom lip, tasting blood before he drew back from shock. Quickly I brought my arm back and punched the side of his face as hard as I could. I felt a dull pain in my hand but all I cared about was getting away from that perv as fast as possible.
That is how I ended up curled in an arm chair in the Heads' common room staring blankly at the fire. I didn't even have the energy to cry I was so drained. The dull ache in my hand slowly turned into sharp pain after the adrenaline wore off, but I ignored it and kept staring. This is how Scorpius found me. After demanding to know what happened to make me this way and hearing the whole story without interrupting, he pulled me into a hug whispering all the different ways to kill Zabini. I pulled back slightly to look in his eyes, those beautiful blue-grey eyes, and saw such anger and turmoil that the shock of what happened to me slowly started to wear off. Whoever had his heart better know how lucky she is.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
It wasn't until he brought out my guitar and started playing our song that I felt the tears start to flow. He did remember. I remember teaching him how to play different chords on the guitar and watching him fail miserably at trying to sing. The hot, salty tears slide down my face as Scorpius strums the last few notes of our song. Some of the drops fall onto my guitar, not from what Zabini did to me, but from what Scorp is unconsciously doing to me. He has me wishing on stars and singing that same song over and over again. He's slowly killing me.
Literally, I'm not even eating anymore. Over the past three months, I have been steadily losing weight. I am now below 95 which is dangerous for a 5'8" girl like me. I am now the center of Scorp's attention and I'm loving every minute of it. I don't care if it's killing me if it means he will spend time with me rather than the girl who stole his heart from me.
So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight
I go up into my room and turn out the light. I make a pact with myself that fateful night. I know I cannot have Scorpius' heart, but I will at least finish out the year before I die. Yes, I plan on dying, but everyone dies eventually right? So with that thought in mind I put the picture I have of the two of us that I always have on my nightstand in the drawer. That picture was taken in a happier time, a happier place, back when I did not think of Scorpius as anything other than a best friend.
'Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
School ends and of course I'm at the top of the class with Scorpius following right after me. My pact is over. I can now become the person I became after the Zabini incident. I can now be a shadow of the jokester I once was. I buy a small apartment a week after school ends and slowly start to distance myself from everyone starting with my acquaintances and ending with my family. I could tell they were all worried about me from the sideways glnces they woould shoot me now and then at family get togethers, but it didn't matter. I was too gone to turn back. When I lost so much weight that I couldn't hide it anymore, I even stopped seeing my family. The only person I kept in touch with was Scorpius, and that was only by post as he was half-way around the world training to become an Auror. I still take my guitar out sometimes and play our song, and it brings tears to my eyes each time I do. I wish I was my old self, the always laughing, always carefree Rose, but I was too broken, my heart was too broken.
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
It's been a year now, and I lay on my death bed. But I don't care anymore, because I get to spend my last breaths with Scorpius. I ask for my guitar, and he grants me my last wish. As I sing our song for the last time, I wish with all my heart that I had more time. But there is never enough time in this world. So I, Rose Weasley, look at Scorpius for the last time and put on my best fake smile for him, hoping against hope that he cannot see the turmoil I have hidden for so long as I take my last breath.
SPOV
As I hear the heart monitor go flat (Rose insisted on going to a muggle hospital instead of St. Mungo's), I feel the tears fall, thick and uncontrollable. Rose was my best friend, always has been, always will be. But as I slowly walked out of the room, I not only left my best friend, I also left the love of my life. I tried to leave hints. I tried to talk to her about it, but by the time I worked up the courage, she was too far gone. In that hospital room are three things: Rose, the guitar that strummed so many memories, and my shattered heart.
A/N Hey, this is my first Rose/Scorpius fanfic, so please review! If this one- shot stirred up any sort of emotion in you, please tell me! If you think the story was crap (because I kinda did) please let me know.
~nothingevergoesasplanned