The Misadventures of Fuji Yuuta

Or

The Lonely, Self-Proclaimed Orphan and the Quest for a New Home

A Co-Write between KitKitSouji and LadyJewel

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis is owned by Konomi Takeshi-sensei, Shonen Jump, TV Tokyo, and VIZ. My co-writer and I aren't intending to get any monetary gratification from this ficlet. We are, however, looking to make some PoTCRACK lovers happy, by giving them a good dose.

LadyJewel's Note: This story is CRACK. Yes, CRACK. This stemmed from too much Ramune, Pocky, and Japanese Gummy candy. So, if anyone wants to ask, this has no part in the manga or anime storyline. This is just something to write because it is purely CRACK.

PoTCRACK is my anti-drug, and, no, that is not an oxymoron…

Prologue: The Self-Proclaimed Orphan
That is it! Fuji Yuuta thought with disgust.

His older siblings had humiliated him many times before, but this was the final straw. He loved them, truly. He had tolerated being put into dresses and made-up when he was younger. He bore it all with a smile for them. Their praises and squeals of delight had been enough to override the humiliation.

So, yes, it had been fine for them to pretend he was their doll. In kindergarten!

Fuji Yuuta was now a dashing second-year in Middle School, Saint Rudolph's, to be exact. It was an elite school with an exceptional tennis team. Saint Rudolph offered the perfect opportunity to be away from the direct influence of his genius, older brother, Fuji Shuusuke. The title 'Fuji Shuusuke's younger brother' was a difficult one to discard. His brother wasn't the 'tensai' of Seishun Gakuen's Tennis Team for nothing.

Well, anyway, back to business!

Needless to say, Yuuta was pissed!

His elder and only sister, Fuji Yumiko, held aloft… a dress.

Now, this was not just any dress. The lace monstrosity was… a wedding dress. Low necked, be-ribboned, trained, and corseted.

His brother stood beside her. He tenderly held the long, trailing veil, which was fixed to a silver, rhinestone-accented crown. Resting on a chair beside him were a pair of white, flower-studded flats and a wig head. Poised on the wig head was an intricately plaited wig the same hue as the hair gracing Yuuta's head.

"What is this?" growled Yuuta, gesturing to the dress and accessories. "You'd better not be planning to put that on me!"

Yumiko giggled. "It's your wedding dress, Yuuta! How else would you be dressed when marrying Shuusuke?"

"Yes, Yuuta-koi," Shuusuke, known to most simply as 'Fuji', smirked. "Isn't your gown wonderful? I gave the measurements and design to the Sewing Club at Seishun. They were thrilled to be making my future bride's wedding gown."

"Aniki," Yuuta snarled, "I am not your bride!"

Yumiko pouted and Shuusuke frowned.

"But, Yuuta, you wouldn't want to disappoint Shuusuke, would you? He's been planning this for so long." She had the decency to look sheepish. "I also wanted to see how beautiful you would be in it."

Yuuta backed away warily, glaring at the smiling duo.

"I refuse! I'm not a girl!" He pinned a glare on Yumiko. "I'm not some dress-up doll, Onee-chan! Nor am I a child to practice make-up on!" He turned a 'Glare of Doom' at Shuusuke. "I'm not your bride, Aniki! I'm not going to wear that monstrosity! If you even try to force me into it, I will leave and never come back!"

Yumiko perked up. "But, Yuuta, I made a p—"

"No amount of bribes will work," Yuuta rudely cut her off, "including raspberry pie!"

"Fine," both said dejectedly, pouting.

"We'll just have some of the raspberry pie and tea," Yumiko suggested, setting the dress across the back of the sofa reverently. "No sense in a pie going to waste."

She disappeared into the kitchen as Shuusuke placed the veil gently on top of the wig.

Yuuta sighed in relief, plopping onto the chair furthest away from the dress. He ran a hand through his hair, noting that he needed to cut it soon.

Shuusuke sat down opposite of him, and gave him a serious and saddened look.

Yuuta shivered. Shuusuke rarely opened his startlingly blue eyes, except when annoyed or focused. "Aniki?"

"Why are you so set against me, Yuuta," his brother asked, folding his hands demurely in his lap. "Have I done something to make you hate me?"

"Aniki, your influence smothers me," Yuuta stated bluntly, looking at his hands. "Everything I try to do, you either interfere or have already done. You are the only one anyone knows! They don't know me. I'm just your little brother, trying to follow in your footsteps. Aniki, I want to do things on my own! I don't hate you. I just can't stand the way you influence me and the things around me!"

"Yuuta…" Shuusuke sighed. "It wasn't my intention to do anything like that. I just wanted to help you succeed."

"Aniki!" Yuuta growled, jumping to his feet. "I don't need your help! I appreciated it when I was younger, but I don't need it now!"

"Yuuta," Shuusuke started.

"Here's the pie!" Yumiko entered the room with a try of pie and tea. She gently placed the tray on the coffee table, and grabbed a teacup for Yuuta.

Pouring him a proper amount, she requested, "Yuuta, please, sit down. It's rude to take tea while standing." She placed the teacup on the table before the still standing Yuuta.

Turning to Shuusuke, she smiled. "Shuu-kun, what would you like in your tea?"

Shuusuke pursed his lips. "Did you bring my pepper out?"

Yumiko looked at him in apology. "I'm so sorry. I forgot it in the kitchen. I'll go get it."

He waved it off. "No, you go ahead and sit down. I'll go and get it. After all, you did bake this lovely pie."

He disappeared through the kitchen door, leaving a flustered Yuuta and calm Yumiko.

Yumiko gave her youngest brother a glance before slicing the pie. "So, Yuuta, how has dorm life at Saint Rudolph's treating you? How is school? I never seem to hear much from you anymore."

Yuuta flushed and quickly sat. He fiddled with the teacup that was still sitting in its saucer. "There really isn't much to speak of. It's a boy's dorm so it's kinda messy. At school I'm average in classes. I'm average in tennis. Compared to the others on the tennis team, I'm kinda below their standards. That's why Mizuki-san is training me harder." He took a quick gulp of tea before accepting the slice of pie from his sister.

"I think you are selling yourself short, Yuuta," Yumiko stated, setting a slice of pie aside for Shuusuke. "I've seen your mock exam scores for high school. You're smart enough to get into all the schools you have on your list. You're a regular on your tennis team. You've been in the newspaper for your tennis match against that boy from Seishun Gakuen. From what Shuu-kun says, it was a feat in itself for you to last as long as you did against Echizen Ryoma-kun. You are far from 'average', Yuuta."

Yuuta gave his sister a small smile. "Thanks for believing in me, Onee-chan."

Yumiko gave a beaming smile. "Isn't that what big sisters are for?" Her smile turned sly. "Does that mean you'll try on your gown for me?"

Yuuta glared at her from the rim of his teacup. "No."

She pouted and shrugged. "It was worth a try?"

Shuusuke walked back in to the living room. "Did you convince him yet?"

Yumiko shook her head. "Nope. Sorry, Shuusuke."

Shuusuke sighed. "I'm sure you tried." He gave Yuuta a quick glance, before bending down to whisper into Yumiko's ear.

Yumiko giggled. "Of course I did, Shuusuke."

"Did what, Onee-chan," Yuuta inquired, taking the last bite of his slice of pie.

"Oh, Yuuta," Yumiko said, "Shuu-kun's just being silly." She paused, and grabbed a napkin. "You have pie on your face, silly! You really shouldn't eat it so quickly."

Yuuta reached for the napkin, but paused as his vision split. He pulled back, placing a hand on his forehead. His head felt like it was splitting in two.

"I don't think I feel too well," Yuuta stated woozily.

As his body listed to the side, he took comfort in the fact he had chosen the sofa and not his normal chair. The last thing he remembered were his siblings' faces.

They were grinning.

Yuuta awoke feeling warm and itchy.

Something kept tickling his face and the back of his neck.

He gave a soft groan. His entire body ached. It felt bone-weary, like he had run 100 laps around the tennis courts, done 100 push-ups, and then finished with 100 curls.

"Shuu-kun," Yumiko's voice boomed in Yuuta's head, "I think your bride's waking up."

The flash of a camera stabbed into his head, causing him to flinch in pain.

Aniki's using his good camera, came a single, clear thought.

Yuuta's head was suddenly miraculously clear at that thought. Unfortunately, his body had not yet caught up with his mind.

"Just a few more shots." Yuuta could hear the eagerness and delight in his brother's voice. "He is in the sunlight perfectly now."

Yuuta growled. "Aniki!"

"Hush, Yuuta-koi," Shuusuke shushed him, laughing lightly. There were three more flashes, each more painful than the last. "There! All done."

Yuuta growled, again. He squinted his eyes open. "You did it anyway, didn't you?"

"How could we pass up such a perfect opportunity, Yuuta?" Yumiko's face wavered above his head. "Besides, you look absolutely wonderful!"

Yuuta struggled to pull himself into a proper sitting position. He still didn't have full use of his arms and legs. He managed to give his siblings a glare worthy of their family name.

"I warned you what I would do if you did this," he growled.

Shuusuke was reverently packing up his camera and chose to ignore his statement. He was humming happily to himself.

Yumiko was sipping tea. "Oh, Yuuta. We know you'd never leave. You love us too much."

Yuuta shoved himself to his feet and nearly tipped over. The gown was heavy. He yanked the wig off his head and threw it, along with the veil, to the floor.

"Do you never take me seriously?" Yuuta demanded of the two. "Am I only a toy to you?"

"Oh, Yuuta, stop being silly," Shuusuke said calmly grabbing the abused wig and veil from the floor. "Of course we take you seriously."

"Name one time and I'll stay," Yuuta compromised, knowing, even if his sister was a clairvoyant and his brother a genius, that they would never find a single moment.

He waited a moment longer. "Nothing? Well, I'll give you a bit more time while I pack."

He shuffled up the steps and practically ripped off the offensive gown when he was safely in his room. The shoes were kicked in the same direction as the dress.

Thankfully, his room was Spartan. Most of his things were still at the dorms, or packed neatly in boxes. He grabbed only necessities, stuffing them into the only available duffle bag he found. It proudly stated 'Seishun Gakuen Tennis Club: Seigaku' across the sides.

Sighing, he started downstairs. He paused in front of his brother and sister.

"Well?"

"Yuuta, you're not really leaving, are you," Shuusuke asked. His normally calm voice had an undertone of terror. "This is just a joke, right?"

"No, Aniki, it's not a joke," Yuuta stated. "So have you thought of anything?"

The two looked worried as they slowly replied, "No."

"I guess that I'm leaving then," Yuuta said calmly. "I know that I'm still going to be on the family registry, but I no longer consider myself to be a 'Fuji'. I'm an orphan now. You get the lovely task of informing Father and Mother why I no longer am home."

He bowed after slipping on his shoes.

"Thank you for having me. I, hopefully, will not see you again."

The door closed behind him with a soft thud.

Yumiko and Shuusuke stood, staring blankly at the door.

"What have we done?" Yumiko slid to her knees. "Shuusuke?"

"We'll get him back, Onee-san," Shuusuke stated, sounding stronger than he felt. "He won't be gone long."

LadyJewel's Note Part 2: Some things to clear up. My model for Fuji Shuusuke is Kimeru, who played that role in a few of the Prince of Tennis Musicals. I write his name as "Shuusuke" but actually pronounce it "Syuusuke". Confusing? Yes, but it's one of my weird quirks.

This is an ongoing story that I will continue writing, as there is not enough Yuuta fan fiction. He's my favorite character, although Ryoma and Momo immediately follow him.

Another thing is that, after the next chapter, a friend and I will be switching off by chapter.

There will be warnings, because I like yaoi, slash, and BL. No pairings have truly been decided, but it will have undertones and even some blatant statements.

Thank you for reading! Please review!