Deflowered and Disillusioned

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of PMK…love the Anime too bits though!

Chapter 1: Prologue

A/N: FYI, this is sort of like my own twist to the continuation of the show in the Anime. Hana-chan was to become a geisha much earlier than Saya. Ever since I saw Hana-chan proclaims how she was 'absolutely-in-love-with-Heisuke", this weird brain of mine went into overdrive. I just had to write this…so hope you enjoy! BTW, the death of Yamanami, transfer out of Shinsengumi occurred in the PMK manga itself, it's not mine.

"It was….according to Kondou-san, a-a perfect sepp-uku…He went peacefully." Shinpachi broke down; his small frame shaking uncontrollably as he faced his best friends. Heisuke did not reply. Instead he brought his legs together, placing his forehead on his knees as he felt his own tears began to fall. In the midst of the cool, quiet morning, only the keeling sounds of grief remained.

It was coming to a month since the passing of Mr Yamanami. Falling of the cherry blossoms brought about the promise of Autumn season. Time, as one had said, would heal all wounds eventually. Yet to Heisuke, nothing had changed. Nothing.

He could no longer find the mirth and happiness that he saw in things, nor could he still remain close to his two other happy-go-lucky buddies. His heart was a void, and his once brightly-lit eyes now dimmed with a subtle despair that did not seem to go away. A man that he had come to love and respect as both a father-figure and brother was taken away from him just like that; and it suddenly dawned upon him how flimsy the barrier was that separated him from the people that he cared about.

Death, an impregnable fortress.

He cast his hooded eyes at the darkening skies, a myriad of tiny stars ready to dominate the night. He returned to his thoughts. Perhaps that was why he decided that leaving the Shinsengumi was a better idea. Out of cowardice? Out of fear? Rather, it might have had been the dwindling faith that he once had in the Shinsengumi. That, and perhaps because he knew he did not want to see any more of his friends die with such needlessness. He wouldn't commit seppuku; he had joined another division instead.

The Imperial Loyalist Army. It was established not long after the Ikeda-Inn incident, and that was when the Shinsengumi seemed to be wavering. It had been very uncomfortable initially, facing such a big change from the friendly faces in the Shinsengumi. Anyway, he was not about to complain. He did not come this far to regret his decisions. It was enough recollections for a day. He quickened his pace towards the building that loomed before him. From the frail shadows, he made out its name.

"Shimabara."

Two hours ago…..

Hana smeared the crimson-red paste gently on her lips with her forth finger. She looked up at her reflection in the wide mirror, noticing with bemusement, the sadness written all over the older woman who was helping her place bejeweled hairpins into her hair. She let out a tinkling laugh.

"Yumi-san, you seem more worried than me! It's almost like it's your big day instead of mine!" she remarked, turning to face her. Yumi raised her head to meet her eyes, then let out a resigned sigh.

The years had been good to the young girl before her. With passing time, Hana-chan seemed to develop a grace and beauty unlike any other youth geishas she had seen before. She should know, she was always the last one to see them before they… they were to be deflowered. Most of the girls would start shaking with feared anticipation, or perhaps even mount to the point where they were hysterical to face such a 'fate'. Yet, Hana-chan seemed to face this similar fact with an alarming air of nonchalance and determination despite her tender age of sixteen. "Yumi-san, don't feel sad for me. I guess I'm just not as lucky as Saya; she has Tetsu-kun as her 'God'. She will never worry that she won't have anyone to love her, and perhaps someday, he will come for her." Hana paused, rising up and heading towards the door. She turned for a moment, a small smile on her lips.

"Perhaps, one day it'll be my turn."

Hana bowed low, her head touching the ground and her hands placed demurely infront of her. "Thank you, Mamasan. For all these years of kindness and generosity that you have showered on Hana-chan., I hereby promise to repay you by being the best courtesan in Shimabara. May you continue to give me your support, Mamasan." With that, she stood up to her full height, her features stunning in the bright light of the paper lamps. Her long flowing hair that usually hung down round her heart-shaped face was now held back in two interloping buns; red lips and her deep-gray eyes gave her a porcelain doll-like appearance. The Mamasan was pleased.

"Very well, Hana-chan. I'll send you to your first customer."

Heisuke sipped the sake straight from the bottle, paying no attention to the elaborate layout of dishes and cups before him. His ears caught the sound of on-coming foot-steps, perhaps two. His years of training his five senses to perfection had not been in waste. It was a necessity, to be able to hear your enemies from a distance away; you wouldn't want them to sneak up and plant a piece into your back would you? The Shoji door slid open soundlessly; he knew that his 'order' had arrived. He did not bother turning, instead took another swig of sake. The Mamasan frowned momentarily. 'Is he not interested to see who I've brought? Well, we'll see about that," she thought.

"Toudou-sama, I've brought you the best girl we have today. She's young and inexperienced; you have to give her your guidance, neh?" she dropped her voice to an even lower tone, sounding almost conspirital. "She hasn't been touched yet, so we'll have to charge you slightly higher than the usual prices, hai?" Heisuke waved his hand in approval, and the Mamasan took it as her cue to make her exit.

"Do what you have to do, Hana-chan. If he favors you, you'll have many good days ahead of you." She murmured as she passed the young girl. Hana gave a little nod. The door shut behind her, and for the first time in her life in the Shimabara, she was feeling quite claustrophobic. She straightened her shoulders, and placed herself right behind his back.

"You seem much tensed, Toudou-sama. Let me give you a good massage to loosen up, neh?" She curled her fingers into small fists and pounded lightly on his back. After what seemed like an eternity (actually, it was closer to 5 minutes), she paused to for a short break. He still hasn't spoken a word since the Mamasan left. And he didn't even turn to look at her once. This wasn't good.

Hana bit her lower lip. Time to change another tactic. "Have you ever lost someone close to you?" he asked suddenly. She blinked. She would have thought that the voice she just heard was in her head if she hadn't felt him shift his body to reach for another bottle of sake. That was certainly unexpected. Still, it was a start. "Well, I lived here ever since I was born, and the people I 'lose' are mainly my friends who have to leave for work." she replied, trying to make her voice sound remotely inviting. He fell silent again. Just as she was about to ask him if he wanted her to feed him the sashimi that was prepared, another unexpected thing happened. He turned.

Oh Kami-sama.

All coherent thoughts that had existed in her head a while ago were flushed right out. She knew that it was rude to gape and stare wide-eyed at her customer, (for goodness sake, she had been trained strictly to adhere to Shimabara decorum since she was 10!) but that was exactly what she was doing. It was almost as if her facial muscles suddenly went slack. It had been almost a year since he last visited, but she could recognize the thin lips that curled into an easy smile ever so often, the eyes that twinkled with mischief and the dimples that popped every time he laughed. Sure, he seemed much older and more solemn than before, but she was certain it was him. But there was something about him that was changed. That something, she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Flashback

Heisuke frowned, watching the retreating back of the troublemakers. "What's with them?" They are so quick to fight." He absent-mindedly raised a hand to rub his head. Hana beamed at him in gratitude. "But… thank you!" "Sorry I came late," came an embarrassed smile in reply. Hana shook her head furiously, looking up at the tall, dashing (kei, only to her perhaps?) warrior before her.

"Iie…I've completely fallen for you!"

TBC

A/N: sorry, I'm currently hating myself for making this merry couple go all dark and angsty. Hmm, I hope I'm doing a good job so tell me what you think so I can improve. Thanks!