A/N: A study in heartbreak. And I've used two songs in a row from the movie Empire Records. It's such a feel good, quintessentially 90's movie with a great soundtrack.
"Juliet, the dice were loaded from the start.
When we met, you exploded into my heart.
And I forget, I forget…the movie song.
When're you going to realize
it was just that the time was wrong?"
'Romeo and Juliet,' Dire Straits
In the chaos she found clarity: she's in love with Shawn Spencer. It struck her suddenly--violently. She wanted to be the one to comfort him. She wanted him to comfort her. A wave of relief followed her realization. She wouldn't have to fight the smiles and flirtations anymore. She wouldn't have to walk on eggshells every time she is around him. She wouldn't have to wonder what if late at night. She could just be Jules and he could just be Shawn. She could let her guard down, she could take his hand whenever she wanted, she could kiss him and it wouldn't be a mistake.
She ignores everything around her and walks back to Carlton's patrol car. She can't afford to be distracted now. She lets her hair down and runs a brush through it a couple times to tame the wild curls. She touches up her mascara and lip gloss in the passenger seat, and even though it's cold outside she leaves her jacket in the car because there is mud all over it. When she gets out she catches herself in the reflection of the window. It's not much better, but it'll have to do.
She finds Gus talking to Lassiter. "Have you seen Shawn?" she asks.
"Yeah," Gus studies her a moment. "He's in the concession booth."
"Thanks." She takes off.
"Juliet, wait!" Gus calls.
"Sorry," She keeps walking.
"Juliet!"
But she won't be stopped. Not when she's this close. She has a pretty good idea of what she wants to say, she has a good plan. It should work…
But it fails. How could it fail? How? Because she was just a little too late. Suddenly, his words at the museum haunt her. What? You had your chance. How long ago was that--almost a year? She didn't know that was her chance. Maybe even her last. Oh, God, how she wishes she could have that moment over again. It's not fair, and she is devastated. It shouldn't end like this. Not after everything they've been through this year. Not after everything they've been through today. She's had a stopwatch on her and she didn't even know time was running out. She holds it together until she makes it to the car. But she can't stop the tears entirely because she was just so close.
Some time later Carlton opens the driver's door and startles her, "Alright, I think they finally got this circus under wraps." He's distracted by the case until he hears her sniffle. "O'Hara?"
She looks up to see him watching her, his expression unreadable. "Juliet, what's the matter?" He uses her first name.
"Nothing," she manages to say. "I'm fine."
Carlton shakes his head. "Juliet…"
She can't keep it to herself any longer. "He's already on a date." She says. She recognizes his expression now: it's empathy. A thought flashes through her mind, the pain must've been a thousand times worse for him when he made the divorce final. "He's with…I just…Why?" She mutters, making no sense at all, even to herself.
"I'm sorry." He speaks gently. "Is there something--?"
"Just take me to the station." she interrupts. "I want to go home."
"Sure."
The drive is quiet, and he pulls right up to her car in the parking lot. She doesn't get out right away and Carlton looks over to her. "I waited too long." She tells him. She sounds broken. She feels broken.
"I'm going to be up all night with the Yang case." He says. "If, you know…" he trails off.
She understands what he means. "Thanks," She smiles sadly.
"Go home, get some sleep." Carlton soothes
She drives home, feeds her cats, and showers in silence. She can still hear him: Your timing is awful. You had your chance. She falls onto her bed in her pajamas and can finally cry herself to sleep.