Title: Venus' Birthday Gift [Mr 2 Special]
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, Eiichiro Oda does.
A/N: It's Venus' birthday! So Venus is indulging herself in this fanfic!
It was just another funless morning for Venus. Click. Click. "Heh, Venus is never going to finish this. Venus needs coffee," with that she peeled her ass off her chair and headed to the kitchen.
The first thing Venus saw when she entered the kitchen was a man in a ballerina outfit.
It took her three and a half seconds to realise that she wasn't having one of her happy-go-lucky fangirl dreams. "Bon-chan!" Venus exclaimed with a wide smile on her face. "Oh my favourite okama, what brings you here?" she hugged Mr 2 so hard his mascara almost fell off. "V.. V-chan.. too.. tight.. can't.. breath.." Mr 2 managed to say.
Venus let go of him, "Sorry 'bout that," she giggled. "So why are you here?"
"Let's see.." Mr 2 rubbed his chin, "Today is 8th of June and.." "Ooh I know! Are we going to celebrate my birthday?" Venus said with a grin.
"Eeeh, close enough. There's no party, but I'm sure you're gonna love it." Venus was already happily squealing away when Mr 2 continued, "But first, presents." He took out a medium sized box and handed it over to Venus. "Open it." She did as he said and the she gasped at what was inside the box.
Inside the box was one of the-ever-oh-so-smexy Sir Crocodile's pink Bananawani boxers!
…
Naw, Mr 2 would have died if it had been one of the boss' boxers.
It was a tiny chip connected to a mini sized laptop by a long cable. She took the chip up and observed it. There was tiny camera framed into the chip. "Bon-chan? What's this?" Venus asked.
Mr 2 chuckled, "Oh you'll see. This little guy is going to be the star for today's show. Follow me." He walked to the laundry room which was located just beside the kitchen. There was a pool of swirling black mascaras - no, uh, melted chocolate? - in the washing machine. Mr 2 hopped right in and he dissapeared. Venus took a long stare at it and followed Mr 2.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Instead of being drowned by mascaras - uh, chocolate - Mr 2 and Venus landed on the Vin de Bague with a loud thump. The deck was clear of living souls - there weren't any dead ones either.
As soon as they picked themselves up, Mr 2 signaled Venus to follow him as he ran below deck.
Venus ran quickly after him with her gift still in her hands. Mr 2 stopped at a door with a '5' on it. She walked up to him, "Why are we - " Mr 2 covered her mouth with his right hand and took her gift in the other.
"Hush V-chan, watch and learn." He placed the mini laptop on the floor and slid the chip into the room. He pulled at the wire and a click sound was heard. Mr 2 started the laptop.
The screen lighted up.
"Is.. that Mr 5?" Venus asked quietly.
Mr 2 nodded, looking at the screen intently.
"And that's Miss Valentine, right?" Venus was starting to pay full attention to the screen.
Mr 2 nodded again. "This is live, candy, live," he said.
"So the tiny camera framed on the chip is used as a - ohh Oda, whaaat? Eww.." Venus twitched an eye at the screen.
On the screen, or rather, behind that wooden door, Mr 5 and his partner are.. well, pleasuring each other with their tongue.
"Ohh Oda that's so disgusting," Venus whispered to Mr 2. "V-chan, they're just kissing. Isn't it easy for you to handle? I mean, your thoughts are so per - " "Bon-chan, this is not the right time for - oh look, 5-chan is being poked by Valen-chan's umbrella," Venus stated, looking all innocent.
The two stared at the screen as Mr 5 's expression change. Miss Valentine was riding on him and was probably activating her devil fruit abilities. Mr 5's face was turning blue and in what seems like mere seconds, he exploded.
Uh, he has devil fruit abilities, remember?
Mr 2 pulled the cable out and click, the chip came out. He stood up, took the chip and the laptop, and dragged Venus out - back on the deck.
The innocent look on their faces disappeared as soon as they were on the deck. "Oh V-chan, did you see the look on 5-chan's face?" Mr 2 burst into a fit of laughter. Venus soon joined him on the floor and was laughing her head off.
"Best birthday gift ever. Bon-chan you're the best!" Venus exclaimed.
After a few more minutes of shameless laughing, Mr 2 said, "That was just one tiny part of your gift, V-chan! There's a lot more to go, come on," he danced below deck once again.
This time the two little peepers stopped in front of another door similar as the previous one. It had a '4' embed in silver colour on it.
"You try," Mr 2 shove the chip and laptop into Venus' hands.
"Whaaat?" Venus exclaimed as quiet as she could. "But I don't know how to.." "Just do what I did just now," Mr 2 pointed at the hole beneath the door, then at the chip.
Venus thought for a while before she picked up the chip. She slid it into the room and gave the cable a small tug. Click. Mr 2 turned the laptop on.
The Mr 4 pair appears on the screen.
"Do all the Baroque Works members enjoy unholy acts that much?" Venus closed one of her eye in depression. "I'm sure you would enjoy it if you ever tried," Mr 2 said.
Venus sighed and continued watching the screen.
Miss Merry Christmas' lips moved but no sound came out.
"You know V-chan, this would've been more interesting if we had earphones," Mr 2 turned to the girl beside him. His eyes widened as soon as he realised there were earphones plugged in her ears.
"V-chan! What did they say?!" he raised his voice a little.
"Hush Bon-chan. Here," Venus removed one of the earpieces and placed it in Mr 2's hands, "Hear for yourself."
"M-Mr 4! Mr-Mr 4! Fa-Nnn-Faster! Faster!" a voice said through the earphones.
"I.." Mr 4 said, "..am going.."
Venus giggled at the two on the screen.
"..as.." Mr 4 continued – he never stopped, really, "..fast..as.."
"Well this is slow," Venus said to Mr 2. Mr 2 shook his head, "I wonder if these two are ever going to get high." Venus giggled again.
After a while, Mr 2 unplugged the earphones and withdrew the cable. "This, V-chan, is going to take a very long time." "Agreed," Venus picked up the laptop, "Let's go try this baby on Mr 3!" "Now you're getting the hang of it," Mr 2 grinned and stood up.
Venus followed Mr 2 down another hallway and eventually, they stopped at a door with a '3' on it.
They plumped their asses down in front of the door and set the whole thing up again. "Here," Venus shoved one of the earpiece into Mr 2's hands. "Thank you, V-chan," said a smiling Mr 2.
They fix their gaze on the screen and watched as Mr 3 walks on a splat of yellow paint.
"Ahahahahahah!" a loud laughter boomed through the earphones. Miss Goldenweek watched as Mr 3 rolled on the floor laughing his ass off.
The young girl swirled her paintbrush on the pallet and splatted another blob of paint at Mr 3. Mr 3's laughing stopped abruptly as he sat down on the picnic blanket.
"Have some green tea, Miss Goldenweek," the man handed Miss Goldenweek a tiny teacup. The girl took a sip of the tea and splatted another blob of paint on her partner.
This time it was blue.
"Why? Whyyyyyy?!" Tears rolled down Mr 3's cheeks, "Poor tea, it's dead! Whyyy?!" he cried.
On the other side of the door, Mr 2 and Venus watched emotionless.
Venus blinked her eyes once, twice, and turned to Mr 2, "..If I had to be honest, I was actually hoping he'd molest Miss Goldenweek or something." "Well, at least this is funny," Mr 2 replied.
"What's funny?" said a voice from behind them.
Mr 2 stared at Venus. They blinked, and turned their heads around to see the Mr 5 pair and Mr 4 pair standing above them.
"You've been spying on us?! I'm going to - " shrieked Miss Valentine.
"Shh..! Be quiet!" Venus jumped up immediately and placed a hand on Miss Valentine's mouth. "It's no use, V-chan," Mr 2 stood up slowly, "I'm sure they've already heard us."
True enough, the door behind them opened.
"Mr 2! What is the meaning of this?!" Mr 3 yelled at the top of his lungs. He paused as he stared at the girl whom he has never met before. "Who's this..?" he asked.
Miss Merry Christmas face palmed. "That's Venus."
"Venus? The one who writes fanfics?" Mr 3 asked. Venus looked at Mr 3 with an innocent face that says 'I didn't spy on you'. "Yes, the one who writes fanfics," Mr 2 closed his eyes, "and today is her birthday!" he grinned.
"It's today?" Mr 5 asked. "Yes my dear Baroque Works," Venus tried to hug all of them at once, "It's today."
"Ha.." Mr 4 started, "ppy.. Birth.."
"Y-You are so slow, Mr 4! Slow!" Miss Merry Christmas was annoyed.
"Day.."
"Slow!" Mr 2 said, "V-chan, she said he was slow!" Venus giggled along with Mr 2, who is now being attacked by the rest of the agents. "Spare my life! I was just giving V-chan her birthday present!"
"And her birthday present is suppose to humiliate the rest of us?!" Miss Valentine shrieked, "Can't you give her something else?! Something that doesn't concern us?!"
"Hmm.." Mr 2 rubbed his chin, "I suppose we could just skip the Mr 1 pair," he said.
A moment of silence past.
"No no no! I wanna spy on Mr 1 and Miss Double Finger, so we're not skipping them," Venus shook her head.
"Mr 1 you say? Heheh," Mr 5 chuckled. "Mr 5, are you hinting me that we should go spy on them too..?" Miss Valentine had an evil smirk on her face.
"Oooh, that'd be nice," Venus grinned, "The more the merrier. Right, Bon-chan?"
"Heehee," a grin appeared on Mr 2's face, "What are we waiting for then? Let's go!"
The eight – no Lasso this time, he's taking a nap in the room – stopped in front of the Mr 1 pair's room. Venus plugged in the earphone and slid the chip into the room.
The others watched the screen in disbelief. Miss Merry Christmas' jaw dropped to the ground.
"Wow," Venus' eyes popped out, "now that's rough."
"Agreed," Mr 3 and a few others muttered.
Mr 1 thrusting was so quick you can't even see his shaft when it comes out. Miss Double Finger's legs tightened its grip around Mr 1's waist while the others on the other side of the door tried to hold down their laughter.
Finally. Mr 5 left because he couldn't stand the absurd look on Mr 1. Or those lustful eyes.
…
Okay, maybe not that lustful.
Just as Mr 5 turned to leave, the door opened. One of his legs stopped in mid-air.
"Ruuuuuuuuuuun!" shouted Mr 2 after a moment of absolute silence.
"Oh my gosh it's Mr 1!" Venus shrieked.
"Ruuuuun V-chaaaan! Ruuun!" Mr 2 pulled her by the arm.
The others ran down the hall way as quick as possible, leaving trails of laughter here and there. Some went back to their room, others went to the coffee room. The two little rascals who started all this ran back up deck.
On the deck, Venus panted hard.
"Now would you look at that, Bon-chan, all the officer agents are mad at my birthday gift," she said to Mr 2.
"If you were being spied, you would too," he laughed.
"I suppose so," she paused, "Can we go spy on the boss?"
"If you're not afraid of getting killed, sure!" Mr 2 grinned.
The two went below deck once more.
"You know Bon-chan, we should really be careful this time," Venus said as they walked.
"Agreed. We can't risk being caught by – we're here."
Mr 2 and Venus stood in front of the door. It had a '0' embed in gold.
"…You do it, Bon-chan," Venus whispered.
"Why me?!" Mr 2 stuttered with fear.
"Because I – " "Because what..?" a voice asked.
That voice!Venus' eyes widened.
"V.. V-chan.. Run! Run for your dear life!" Mr 2 ran down the hallway and disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Venus was left alone! Mr 2 abandoned her!
She turned around only to meet the boss' gaze burning her skin. It is him!
Well of course it is! How could she mistake that voice!
Sir Crocodile – or rather, Mr 0 – let his gaze move to hers. He took a few steps closer to her. A few steps too close.
Those possessive eyes of his stared right into hers and before she knew it, something soft entered her mouth. Venus gasped. She felt her body burn with heat as his tongue teased her.
"Happy birthday," he whispered through their kiss.
Best birthday ever.