(okay, before u start insulting my work i'll have you know i am a profesonal writer and have been doing this for many years, probes more than yew have even been alive! so think about that before you insult my works as kuroko fanfic extrodanaire. i see you judging me. don't think i won't come over there.)

it was the end of the winter cup. seirin had fought long and hard, like they always do. in fact, they do it so much that their considering making it their official slogan - "long and hard". Kagami suggested they should put it on matching jerseys and Izuki agreed but Hyuga was an ass lord and said no. that random cat guy that never does anything mewled in disagreement, and then his team mates threw meow mix into the distance to get him to go away.

"works every time" said Teppei. he threw extra cat treats because of his freakishly massive hands. he calls it the right of post-nyanment.

all the team mates stood in the school yard. it was their first day back after the winter cup, the results of which had been very intense and shocking and something all the manga readers would know and i totally read it so I totally know what happened. so anyway, after that riveting final match between seirin and that amazing team that wore those cool jerseys, the seirin boys arrived on the school grounds for a new year.

"alright, fellas" said Hyuga robustly. "We need to work even longer and harder if we're going to win the next cup …"

"what? no one told us it would be this soon." said Izuki. "you mean to tell me … you're springing news about the spring cup on us?" his eye twinkled mysteriously.

"no fools" said Hyuga, pushing his glasses up into the sky because he was so appalled. "the spring cup is for the little league. what we're entering is … the ultimate level 100 basketbrawl tournament of Xtreem terror."

the sunlight glimmered down upon ye youthful faces. "nani?!" said Kagami. "you must be crazy. desu."

"respect your elders sonny!" Hyuga shouted, his false teeth flying from his face from the weight of his scream. he hastily picked it back up and everyone pretended not to notice.

"he's for real …" said Kagami. "I've got to tell Kuroko about this. I wonder where he is."

"I'm right here" said Kuroko, peeking out from inside Kagami's jacket.

"oh" said Kagami.

"but don't we need the coach's permission for this? i love how you conveniently left her out," said that one guy.

"didn't you see? she's right here." said Hyuga Junpei. He then put on a brown wig.

"that's just you in a wig" said Kagami.

Hyuga Junpei removed his pants to reveal a skirt.

"COACH!" the team exclaimed. "When did you get here?!"

"I am here to explain the ultimate level 100 basketbrawl tournament of Xtreem terror, so listen up! we have risked many things in our basketball adventures. we have risked losing. we have risked our pride. in kiyoshi's case, we have risked our very health to participate in this magical sport."

"ya" said Teppei. "actually I have an announcement about that-"

"EXCUSE YOU, who has the whistle?! is it you?!"

"um" said Teppei, straightening his pink feather boa.

"NO. IT NOT YOU IT ME."

"yes coach" said the team, an aura of blue anime lines surrounding them.

"now. as I was saying. we have risked a lot together as a team. but we are better now. for this tournament, we will be risking something much greater …."

"….."

"…"

"…..we will be risking" said coach after a long dramatic pause ….. "our very lives."

A lightningbolt crashed down dramatically! seirin stared in horror! except for kagami who seemed oblivious or something .

"that's right. it is a life or death tournament. we want to be the best in japan?" said hyuga, raising his eyebrows as his glasses shone with the power of 50 mighty suns. "then let's become the only team in japan. no one can beat us if they're dead."

"hyuga …. you're … dead serious about this. it's a grave decision that i for one am dying to make." said Izuki. crickets began to sound. everyone was silent. "this steak is steaklicious" he added. everyone burst out laughing, slapping their thighs in utter amusement and joy.

"I don't know if we're good enough," said that one guy.

"no wonder you don't have a speaking role. cut that shit out, ain't nobody got time for that negativity." said Hyuga.

"sorry …" said the guy, his brown locks swaying in the wind, his ambiguously coloured eyes shining darkly.

"the power of teamwork!" blurted Kagami, aggressively fist bumping everyone around him.

"aGH" said a math club student, falling over as Kagami's fist rippled through the air into his stomach.

"Kagami control yourself!" said Hyuga, who had been knocked onto the concrete from the force of Kagami's fist bump. "I think you may have broken one of my knuckles but it's okay, let's just continue this discussion."

"Okay." said Kagami. "desu."

"Now Seirin Student A had a point back there," said Hyuga. "we have a long, hard way to go if we want to defeat the competition this year. that is to say, kill them."

"ok then Hyuga."

"As we are now we don't stand a chance" said Teppei, removing his pink slippers. "We need … something. that special something. but what is it?"

"we have a long, hard time ahead of us to figure it out" said Hyuga.

"Where did the captain go?" said Kagami. Hyuga put on his pants.

"Hyuga! You missed the discussion!"

"It's because we're late for class! the schoolyard is empty!" Hyuga shouted. and then he ran for the doors. everyone followed him. Kuroko bounced merrily along inside Kagami's jacket as he ran.

"Special something, huh," said Kagami. he walked down the hall and turned the corner into his classroom.

"Now now class settle down" said the sensei.

"Um no one was talking" said a student.

"I get paid to say that. anyway, I know you're all ready to learn. I see you all have your notes and I am just SO EUPHORIC. you don't even know, m'students. but alas, before I begin the lesson, there's something I must do."

"huh?" Kagami looked up from his notes in slow motion. Kuroko watched the front of the class with those vacant eyes that stared right into the abyss.

"Class," said the sensei, adjusting his hat … "I'd like to introduce to you our new transfer student."

The door slid open. A pair of white basketball shoes echoed across the floor.

"Hello," said the transfer student as he faced his classmates. "I am Shiroko Tetsuya. Pleased to meet you."

FX: AGGRESSIVE ROCK MUSIC ED THEME.