She didn't know why she kept the dumb top hat around, it was like a piece of a strange nightmare that she couldn't quite shake from her waking life. Jefferson had been real, being held hostage had been real, but somehow – in some strange magical way – that hat had made him vanish. As hard as it was for her to admit it, it was the only logical conclusion to him surviving a three story drop and getting up and running before she could see him over a matter of seconds. He'd vanished too quickly for it not to have something to do with the damn hat. And her "magic".
You're the only one who can do this. Echoed continuously through her mind and she just wanted his voice to go away. She wanted the memory of his nose and lips pressed against the side of her head to vanish just like he had, but they were as stubborn as he was. They couldn't be shaken off, no matter how hard she tried.
Emma had even went so far as to try to put the hat in her closet, but when she woke up in the morning the hat was back, sitting on her dresser. Of course, she thought logically, and claimed that she had sleep walked and put the hat back there – nothing magical could possibly have happened. But then one night she woke up and she found herself still in bed how she'd been sleeping, but the hat was now on the floor beside her, billowing strange purple smoke. Her bed shook, trembled, and forced her off of it. She thought, perhaps it was an earthquake – like the one that Virginia had had in August. The quake had shaken loose a pipe and it just appeared tinted purple in the light of the moon. But it made no sense. Nothing but the bed shook.
She pulled the covers off quickly, trying to get up and out of the bed, but she lost her balance. She fell towards the hat, trying to grab onto her headboard to support herself, but it slipped out of her grip and she fell forward. She expected to crush the top hat, but instead she felt like she was continuously falling.
She was.
Like some sick and twisted version of Alice in Wonderland, she found herself more or less falling down the "rabbit hole", the walls rose up to meet her as she fell face forward. She flailed, trying to find something to catch onto but everything was just out of reach. She landed with a cushioned fall, onto checkered floor. As she set up she was face with a circular room of doors.
A sign pointed towards a shimmering mirror like doorway. THIS WAY EMMA. Hesitantly, she stepped towards the mirror, thankful that she'd wore a nightie tonight and not just a pair of underwear and a tank top. She pressed her hand against shimmery surface, gasping as the material gave way to let her hand press through it.
This was impossible. But at the same time, it was just like the story book had said. Just like the looking glass she'd read about as a child. She let herself give into this fairytale, stepping through the mirror. The world beyond the mirror was bright and colorful, almost too bright. Everything was giant in comparison to the real world – the colors were wild and rare. Mushrooms that were ten feet tall and blades of grass that rose up taller than trees.
"Where am I?"
"Wonderland!" Emma spun around at the voice, surprised to see nothing more than a hedgehog sitting and staring at her. "What? Never seen a talking hedgehog?" It asked and she screamed, scaring the poor creature into curling up into a protective ball.
"I'm sorry…. But. You're a hedgehog."
"Yes and your point is?" It seemed very offended.
"You're talking."
"This is your first trip to Wonderland isn't it?"
"Yes." Emma gulped, turning around once more to make sure that she was really in Wonderland. The land that Jefferson had told her about. "Do you know Jefferson?" The hedgehog shook its head and Emma took a deep breath, "The Mad Hatter?"
"Why yes! He's the hatter to the Queen of Hearts! Nasty lady, I'd not mess with her."
"He's my friend." Emma said, surprised in herself for considering him a friend. But more surprised that she was telling a hedgehog that Jefferson was her 'friend'.
"The Mad Hatter doesn't have friends." The hedgehog corrected, standing on its hind legs, "You must be confused about who he is."
"I'm certain that Jefferson is the Mad Hatter… He has a scar around his neck." The hedgehog looked surprised. "Where can I find him?"
The hedgehog pointed down the path way, "Beware of plants, they bite."
"Of course." Emma said skeptically. If she remembered Alice in Wonderland at all, you weren't supposed to believe or trust anyone.
"Might I ask if that is the new fashion statement where you come from?" The hedgehog asked as she started to walk away.
"What?" Emma looked down at her white lacy nightie that came to her knees. She didn't even have a chance to put slippers on and the cold ground felt strange beneath her toes. "It's a nightie, it was a quick exit."
"Curious and curiouser." The hedgehog chuckled as it scampered off into the giant shrubs that surrounded the mirror.
"Wait come back!" Emma called, finding her cries to be useless in calling back the small rodent like animal. "I just follow this road to the palace?" She asked to herself as she started to walk. Perhaps if she'd paid closer attention to Henry's storybook she'd know which way Jefferson and Regina had taken to go to the palace, but she'd been too skeptical to remember.
This place was exactly what she'd imagined as a child reading Alice, the sky was purple hued, the plants were giant, and the animals talked. And of course the biggest rule of Wonderland, was to eat nothing. The realization that Jefferson had perhaps not been completely insane, just tormented haunted her thoughts. If she'd just been understanding, maybe she'd still be in Storybrooke and not down through the looking glass.
She could just make out the Heart Castle in the distance, its red painted spires reaching up the sky. Was that where Jefferson was? Emma could only hope that on his return the Queen hadn't beheaded him a second time and for good. She tried to avoid any other talking animals as she made her journey along the road. It made her think of the yellow brick road in Wizard of Oz, but there were no companions for her to talk to as she made her trek, she only had herself and her thoughts. Thoughts which were now trying to come to terms with the fact that Mary Margaret was her mother and David Nolan was her father – Snow White and Prince Charming. If Wonderland was real – then all of that was real too. In secret, she wanted nothing more than to believe that Mary Margaret was her mother, she was her friend and confidant and being near her made her feel more comfort than she had ever known with a foster family in her life.
"Miss Alice?" Emma turned cautiously, seeing a rabbit standing with a pocket watch. "Oh you're not Miss Alice."
"No I'm.. Emma."
"Miss Alice died." The rabbit whispered, looking around fearfully. "The Queen had her executed and she actually died. But I thought.. Just maybe it was a lie."
"Did you see her die?"
"No. I heard. Through the grape vine." The rabbit did a little dance and pointed towards the grapevine in the woods. "Gives us Wonderlandians, all the daily news. It was an announcement that the Queen's hatter had returned and had been delivered the news that his wife had died and that the Queen had been lying to him before he vanished."
"Lying to him?"
"Well," The rabbit started with a very matter-o-fact voice. "He was beheaded and told that if they returned his head to his body then he would have to create a hat to take him back home to wherever he came from. But to add to that threat, the Queen told him that his wife was still alive and he'd be given her too if he found a way to leave. It drove him crazy to try to get a hat to work. Mad as a Hatter! But you see, he vanished, the Queen got angry and killed poor Miss Alice. When he turned back up a few weeks ago, the Queen had her guards show him Alice's heart. Sent him off the handle again. He's been going crazy! Shouting for some person named Emma…. Say… Didn't you say your name was Emma?"
"Uh.. Gemma." Emma lied, watching the rabbit furrow his bunny eyebrows together.
"Ah, my hearing's going bad in my old age." He laughed, falling back onto his back and cackling. "On your way then!"
Emma stepped away from the rabbit, dwelling on what he'd said. So Jefferson had been married to Alice in Wonderland and now she was dead because Regina's evil "curse" over Storybrooke. She was starting to not even believe that anything was real. It made her head hurt. Why was Jefferson calling for her anyway?
"You are trespassing on the Queen's property." A soldier appeared from around the corner of the path, sword raised to attack Emma.
"I.. didn't know." Emma tried to explain, backing up and finding herself suddenly surrounded by guards – where had they even come from? "Please, I'm lost."
"No one's lost in Wonderland." One of the guards snapped, prodding Emma with the tip of his sword. "She's like him."
"What?" Emma asked, trying to make sense of what was going on.
"Take her to the Queen." One of the guards barked, watching as his soldiers seized the stranger.
"Let go of me." Emma struggled, trying to fight their grip. "You're mistaken."
"Silence." The guard snarled, glaring at her with the sword poised to attack. "You do not talk back to the Queen's cards."
"No!" Emma shouted, "You don't understand I'm not supposed to be here, I'm just lost." She lied, hoping it would deter the soldiers. But a hand wrapped around her mouth and smothered her with some strange smelling clothe. It felt eerily familiar to the way the tea had made her feel and she slumped into the soldiers' hold.
The next thing Emma knew was the feeling of hard, cold flooring beneath her cheek. She groaned, eyes starting to open. She jerked up, surprised to find herself in a room that was stacked high with hats. There had to be hundreds of thousands of hats crammed into the little room. She had hoped that the whole Wonderland thing had been a dream, but this wasn't Inception – this wasn't a dream inside of dream.
"Emma!" She turned her head slowly, feeling the world spinning around her. Suddenly arms wrapped around her, dragging her up onto her feet and hugging her. She realized that the warm arms were none other than Jefferson's, his face familiarly burying itself in her hair.
"Jefferson? How did I get here?"
"A rabbit came and pled your case against trespassing on the Queen's property." Jefferson looked different, crazed, hair standing at all ends, clad in blue leather pants and a bright orange poet shirt. He grinned wide, amazed to see a friendly face that wasn't part of his imagination.
"I.. met a rabbit on the way here." Emma grasped her head, looking around again. "I came looking for you because.."
"I told the hat to make you come here to me."
"You were calling my name?" Emma asked, suddenly making sense of the fact that the rabbit had said the Mad Hatter was calling for an Emma. "I heard you."
"You're the only one who can do this." Jefferson laughed, running his fingers through his tousled hair. "Look at you in your nightie."
"I was asleep when that damn hat made me fall into it." Emma hissed, slapping his hand away as he reached for the curve of her waist. "Why do you want me here?"
"I was lonely." Jefferson gave a playful pout, "No, I need you to make my hat work so I can go back."
"But you are back."
"No! To Grace."
"Isn't Grace in Storybrooke? How can she be in two places at once?"
"Am I not still in Storybrooke too?" Jefferson arched a brow, looking confused. "I thought that it was two realities running parallel."
"No. You vanished." She watched as Jefferson's glee vanished from his face. "I'm sorry but.. Now we're both stuck here."
"What?"
"You said one in one out about the mirror."
"Yes, but you came alone." Jefferson shrugged his shoulders, "I can't go back again."
"Why?"
"Because… She'll kill someone else I care about." Jefferson shook off the gloom. "It's besides the point, if you can't bring my Grace back to me you need to go back to where you can do good."
"Jefferson," Emma reached towards him but he pushed her hand away shaking his head. "I know what happened to-"
"No!" Jefferson shouted, backing away from her. He didn't want to hear it. "Just go back to Storybrooke."
"Don't be ridiculous. If you made me come here in my nightie, you better have a damn good reason for me to be here and not just because you were lonely or something pathetic like that." Emma put her hands on hers giving him a very stern look. "Now listen to me. I know what happened to you, the rabbit told me. I'm…" She watched his expression crumple, "I'm sorry about Alice."
"You look so much like her." Jefferson muttered.
"That's what the rabbit said." Emma stepped towards him, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. The thought that went through her mind was mad enough to be coming from him. "I can… You can.."
"What?" Jefferson questioned when she didn't finish her sentence.
"You can pretend that I'm her." She sighed heavily, resolving herself to her offer. "If it helps you at all."
"No." Jefferson shook his head, stepping towards and brushing a strand of her sleep tangled blond hair out of her face. "I don't want to pretend you're Alice. She's gone and you are you."
"Is that why you were watching me? Why you stand so close?" Emma asked, trying not to focus on the fact that Jefferson was giving her that look again. That look that cut her straight to the core. For a mad man, he could really focus his madness in on making her go mad.
"No, I watched you because you had magic," His fingers skimmed along the curve of her neck, surprised that she reacted positively to his touch. "I stood close to you because I wanted to be near you. I wanted to touch you." He pressed his lips against the curve of her neck, "I wanted to taste you." He felt her shudder beneath his hands as he wrapped his fingers around her waist. "I wanted you for you. Not because of your petite frame and blond hair."
"Jefferson." Emma turned her head and caught his lips with hers. It was exactly how she'd imagined it. He nipped at her bottom lip, sucking it between his and she gasped. She had to be dreaming. Emma Swan wouldn't be kissing the man that had held her at gunpoint. But then again Emma Swan wouldn't be in Wonderland.
Jefferson stilled Emma's hands as they started to work on his brightly colored shirt. "Promise me something."
"What?" Emma asked meeting his eyes. He sounded sincere and it worried her – Jefferson never sounded this sincere.
"When we go back to Storybrooke, please don't forget all of this."
"I believe now, Jefferson." Those were foreign words coming out of her lips.
"No, Emma." Jefferson laughed and shook his head. "I don't care if you believe, but don't forget this." He kissed her gently, "Us." Emma nearly tackled him at those words, her arms flying around his neck as she jumped up into his arms.
"I can't forget you Jefferson. I tried and you just won't go."
"As it should be, Emma, as it should be." He kissed her again, never wanting to let her go. Afraid that if he let her go she'd be taken away from him. Just like Grace. Just like Alice. He wasn't going to lose Emma. No. He'd never realized how crazy he was until he couldn't watch her, couldn't see her, couldn't touch her. It hadn't felt so desperate when he'd first lost Alice to Wonderland when Grace was born, then he knew what madness felt like when he lost Grace to the Queen. But when he lost Emma he felt the last hinge snap. It had been a long time since he felt connected to another human being and for the first time in a long time that person wasn't a figment of his imagination.
Emma had never gone for stable, completely sane, men. She went for bad boys, with histories, addictions, and baggage – just like Jefferson. But this time, there was a strange calmness about embarking on anything that resembled a relationship with him. Perhaps it was fate, or perhaps she was just crazy too.
In the morning they could focus on going back to Storybrooke and face the people that she knew saw her as a sane beacon in the craziness of the town. She knew Mary Margaret would be disappointed in her for choosing that mad man that had tied her up in a spare room. But even with a gun pointed at her she felt safe with him. She felt even safer with him now as they lay back against the cold floor of the room stacked high with hats that he had made. She felt safe with him a strange world called Wonderland, where Queens could remove and replace heads, hedgehogs talked, and rabbits could be lawyers. A place where a mad man could be perfectly sane and a sane woman could go completely mad.