Secrets of the Bravest Man

Author's Note: This is the story of Severus Snape and the years he suffered as he sacrificed his life to protect the son of Lily Potter. Beginning in Harry's first year, this story will be written mostly, if not entirely, from Snape's perspective and will focus upon his inner world in relation to his interactions with Harry and memories from his childhood, school days and young adulthood. The story will be mostly canon in the beginning, but I have future plans to alter some of the key events leading up to Lily's murder. Snape/Lily pairing. Rating is T for now but will change to M in the future. Reviews are always greatly appreciated, thanks for reading!

Full Synopsis: It has been ten years since the fateful night when Voldemort murdered Lily Potter at Godric's Hallow. Now Severus must face his choice to protect the boy whose very existence symbolizes the love he lost twice, first to his nemesis and second to death itself. But Severus holds an even greater secret of a sacrifice that he has never spoken of. Only he knows the content of the original prophecy and the future it predicts for both himself and the rest of the wizarding world. Snape/Lily pairing.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 1: Ten Years Waiting

Severus Snape stood beneath the narrow archway of one of the castle's many uppermost arcades. He was facing the Hogwarts grounds and gazing out into the inky blackness where he could just make out the beads of lantern light illuminating a tiny fleet of boats on the lake. The water seemed to spread out before him like a dark blanket, the ripples caused by the boats' subtle movements creating tiny folds in its surface.

The boy was on one of those boats. The boy whose existence he must protect, though the task was already tormenting him. As he watched and waited, he felt his sense of curiosity mingle with resentment and trepidation. 10 years of waiting and the day had finally come.

He knew very little about the boy as of yet. Just what Dumbledore knew—or rather—what Dumbledore had bothered to tell him. He had long since ceased to expect that the infuriating old man would share the wealth of his knowledge and theories. Dumbledore hoarded information, carefully disclosing only that which was absolutely necessary for the recipient to fulfill his intended purpose.

His intended purpose. Severus sneered at the thought. Though he had no intention of going back on his promise to protect the boy, it still angered him that he had agreed to do so on Dumbledore's watch. He had never felt comfortable being at another's command. Even when joining the Death Eaters and swearing servitude to the Dark Lord, he had felt a pull against Voldemort's authority. And though he supposed Dumbledore was a much more desirable master, he still disliked the feeling that he did not have complete autonomy.

Severus recalled his conversation with Dumbledore from the previous night, when he had finally allowed his anxiety regarding the boy's impending arrival to get the better of him. Over the past few weeks he had avoided asking questions or engaging in conversation about the boy's appearance and demeanor, though he knew Hagrid had briefed the headmaster on his observations after escorting Potter to Diagon Alley to purchase his school things. However, Dumbledore's open invitation to relay the information he had gathered from the half-giant had finally prompted Severus to share his suspicions.

"Hagrid informs me that he looks like his father."

Severus scoffed and stopped pacing the circular office, turning to face Dumbledore.

"He'll be just as arrogant too then, I imagine."

"On the contrary, Hagrid tells me that the boy is humble, kind, and well-mannered. Given the terrible loss he suffered at such a young age and the abusive nature of his upbringing, it is a wonder that—"

"Terrible loss he suffered? Abusive nature of his upbringing?" Again Severus scoffed. Already Potter was being put on a pedestal, painted as a poor, suffering, innocent child whose goodness was a miracle worthy of worshipping. He didn't think he could stand it. Another James Potter strutting about the school, flaunting his talent and breaking rules whenever he felt like it, jinxing anybody who looked at him funny. And the comment about an abusive upbringing, well Dumbledore didn't know what he was talking about, had no right to point out something that he knew Severus and the boy might have in common…

Dumbledore gave him a long, piercing look and Severus knew that he guessed at least some of what he was thinking.

"Severus… you are setting yourself up to dislike him. You haven't even met him yet."

"Neither have you!" He retorted.

"Not entirely true. I met him a handful of times when he was a baby. But I have not seen him since the night I left him on the Dursley's doorstep ten years ago, so I cannot pretend to know who he has become. I am merely trying to point out to you that you are determined to dislike him, because you so disliked James."

Severus did not speak. He had hated James but he didn't feel that it would be prudent to correct Dumbledore on this detail at the moment. Dumbledore would certainly find it impertinent.

"He has her eyes."

Severus jerked his head irritably in response. Dumbledore always seem to think that this point settled the matter, that this one minuscule detail in the boy's appearance could somehow erase every bit of likeness he was bound to share with his father.

"You've told me this before. As it happens, you remind me of this fact so frequently it would appear you believe I have been obliviated... I don't see why it should make any difference."

"He's her son." Dumbledore replied simply.

"What's your point?"

"Don't forget why you are protecting him."

"Forget?" Severus snarled. "How could you think it possible for me to forget?"

Severus had never found himself so offended by the headmaster's words. How could he honestly believe that he had, for one moment, forgotten why he had agreed to make such a sacrifice? Had his walls become so impenetrable that Dumbledore no longer saw the unrelenting agony that Severus experienced every time they discussed the task he had set for himself?

Severus took a deep, calming breath. The boats had finally disappeared from view, made impossible to see by the cliff face that overshadowed the underground harbor. It would be time soon. Severus took one last sweeping look over the dark grounds before turning on his heel to stride purposely towards the staircase that led downwards to the great hall. As he reached the topmost stair, he paused to pull up the emotional shields that he had become so practiced at maintaining. Bracing himself for the moment that had haunted his mind for the past ten years, he resumed his descent.

Severus slipped into the great hall from a passageway behind the staff table. The passage had been built over a 100 years ago for the purpose of allowing the teachers entrance to and from the hall without having to pass the four house tables full of students. Dumbledore always said it was an unfortunate addition and that it forced a separation between staff and students that was unnecessary and alienating. Severus disagreed. He was grateful for whichever Hogwarts headmaster had had the foresight to add it to the castle's internal architecture. He preferred his contact with the students to be limited to class time and the occasional detention. Anything beyond that was a serious test to his patience. But then again, Severus had never had much patience to begin with.

As he seated himself at the long table, he could feel Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes boring into him but he did not turn to meet his gaze. Severus was a superb occlumens but he had long ago deduced that Dumbledore could detect his thoughts and emotions without breaking directly into his mind, though he suspected eye contact still remained an important piece of this. He supposed this ability was the result of Dumbledore's highly developed instincts and extensive knowledge of the human psyche. Body language, facial expressions and emotional energies were all things that the old wizard could pick up upon and interpret with unnerving accuracy. Keeping this in mind, Severus shifted in his seat so that his back was half-turned to the headmaster. His greasy curtain of hair successfully hid his face and he felt confident that the most Dumbledore could deduce from these signals was that Severus did not wish to be X-rayed or analyzed.

Just then there was a murmur of interest as the doors to the great hall opened. Minerva entered with a line of terrified-looking first years shuffling in behind her. Severus felt his heart thrum in his chest and his mouth go dry. So this was it. This was the moment he had been both anticipating and dreading for so many long years.

His dark eyes scanned the group of frightened 11 year-olds now making their way past the house tables. It didn't take him long to find the boy. He was the smallest and skinniest of the lot. From this distance Severus couldn't make out the color of his eyes or the lightening-shaped scar that made Potter so famous, but his untidy black hair and glasses were unmistakable.

Severus' initial reaction surprised him. He didn't know why but he felt disappointed, almost as if he had been expecting to discover something different when he first laid eyes upon Lily Evan's son. It made no sense, given that he had been the one who had insisted to Dumbledore that Potter's appearance meant nothing to him. Furthermore, he had glimpsed the boy on the night of Lily's death when he had entered the wreckage of the house in the aftermath of Voldemort's downfall. The boy had been standing in his crib, holding the bars in his tiny hands and screaming his head off, while Lily lay lifeless on the floor, her green eyes vacant, empty. He had barely spared the child a glance at the time and yet he had not failed to notice the unfortunate likeness between the baby and his father. And yet, a small, suppressed part of him had indeed been hoping that this likeness might have changed. That the boy would have in fact grown to look more like...

His thoughts were interrupted as the first years reached the staff table and began to form a line facing the other students. Severus got a closer look at Potter as he placed himself between the sandy-haired boy who had been in front of him in line and another first year whose red hair and freckles automatically identified him as a Weasley. In the fleeting moment before Potter turned his back to him, Severus caught a glimpse of the lightening scar partially disguised beneath his dark fringe and the bright green eyes hidden behind his glasses. Then the boy was facing away from him and all he could see was the back of his head, untidy black hair sticking up in the exact same way his father's had.

The hall became silent as the first years finished taking their places and Minerva set the sorting hat upon a four-legged stool in front of them. He turned his attention to the hat as its brim opened wide into a mouth which burst into song. The sorting was about to begin.

Severus had much more difficulty focusing upon the sorting than he was accustomed to. Although he took brief interest when Lucius' Malfloy's son, Draco, was sorted into his own house, his mind was otherwise elsewhere until the moment in which Potter's name was called. When this happened he shot a glance at Dumbledore and saw that he was leaning forward intently, both his eyes and all of his concentration fixed entirely upon the trembling boy who approached the stool.

There was hissing throughout the hall as Potter sat himself gingerly upon the stool and allowed Minerva to lower the hat onto his head. People were whispering and craning their necks to get a better look at him but the hat was so large that it fell down over his face and rendered their attempts to see him entirely pointless.

As the moments Potter sat on the stool stretched on the whispering died away and a collective silence filled the hall. Severus felt himself being swept up in the anxious energy that surrounded him and noticed that his hands, which had been resting in his lap moments before, were now clenching the edge of the table. He relaxed them instantly. He knew there was no reason for everyone to hold their breath. The boy would be in Gryffindor. Both his parents were and from everything Hagrid had told Dumbledore, it sounded like he would follow in their footsteps. Still, the sorting hat was taking an unusually long time, especially for someone whose path should have been clear. Severus snuck another look at Dumbledore and as he did so the hat's voice sounded in the hall.

"... GRYFFINDOR!"

Severus found himself clapping with the rest, though rather less enthusiastically. Again, he felt a strange sense of disappointment. It wasn't like he had wanted the boy in his own house. He shuddered simply at the thought. He supposed his feelings were brought on by the surrealness of the entire evening. It all felt horribly familiar to him and he suddenly made the connection between his present reaction and memories of his own sorting so many years prior. Severus did not want to dwell on the past. He pushed the images of Lily skipping happily over to the Gryffindor table out of his mind and focused his attention back on the boy as he sat down next to his cheering housemates.

It was then that it happened. Potter looked up at the high table, first making eye contact with Dumbledore before his gaze drifted in the direction of the potions' master. Their eyes met for an instant and Severus felt a powerful surge of emotion, intense hatred mixed with an excruciating sadness. The boy flinched, putting a hand to his forehead and then turned away.

Severus breathed in and out slowly, forcing himself to empty all thought and emotion from his mind. Then he too turned away, refocusing his energy upon the sorting. He did not look at Potter again for the rest of the evening.

TBC…