Hi guys! This is my first shot at a WWE Fic, I hope you enjoy it! Please send all the comments and feedback you can, it only helps, right?
:)
…Unhinged…..Lunatic….Screwball…..Batshit…...NOT GOOD ENOUGH…
Sometimes, these words would penetrate through Dean Ambrose's mind, taking him away from reality. It didn't happen as much as it once did, before Renee fell into his life. It took a few pep talks from Roman, but he finally started talking to her. It turned out to be some of the best advice he had ever followed in his life.
As things progressed with her, the paranoia started to rear it's monstrous head. It was something that plagued Dean for as long as he could remember. With the exception of Roman, no one ever stuck around with him, ever. It had always been that way. When his feelings for Renee grew, along came with it the self doubt.
There were the nights that she would be sleeping, and he would be looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. He'd glance out at her, and then back at himself. Nothing made sense to him. She was everything that he ever wanted in a woman. At the same time, the gnawing feeling in his gut reminded him otherwise. She was going to leave him.
Unintentionally though, Dean made a mistake. He underestimated Renee completely. She wasn't with him just to up and disappear when she got bored. She also knew that something wasn't right. Dean wasn't being honest and she could feel it deep down inside of her. A woman's intuition perhaps, but she knew.
It took Dean having a heartbreaking, grueling match on Raw for Renee to abruptly find out. She was wide eyed after watching Dean lose in this particular match, and bolted as soon as it was over. Her heels clacked loudly as she made her way through the sea of crew and wrestlers. She became more concerned when she couldn't find him anywhere.
The further Renee trekked down the hallways, she became convinced that she should quit her quest. Then she heard what sounded like a choke from a few feet away. The blonde stood silent for a few seconds, until she was sure that she heard it again. Behind a stack of equipment trunks, she found Dean sitting on the floor, with his back against the wall. He was hugging his knees to his chest, while he kept his face down.
Renee's heart immediately dropped when she found him. Swallowing hard, she walked over and sat down in front of him, "Hey…." she said softly, reaching up and giving his hand a squeeze, "You ok? That was a rough one."
Without looking up at her, he answered, "Stop pretending that you care."
Shock was an understatement to explain the jolt that went through Renee's body. Those words shredded her, "Why….why wouldn't I care?"
"They never do." he sniffled.
"I do," she replied, realizing that something was surfacing in him that she never knew existed, "I do."
Dean slowly looked up at her and glared a little. People had told him that, multiple times in his life. They. All. Lied. Why was she any different? Then he saw the look on her face, and it changed him instantly. Dean had never seen the look of sincerity on any woman's face before, when they talked to him. Where did she come from?
"Are you really here right now?" He asked.
Renee blinked, "Um, yes."
"Why?"
Before Renee could think, she blurted out, "Because I fucking love you, you asshole."
Dean felt his entire body stop functioning at that second. That was the moment when he realized that -maybe- just -maybe- he was allowed to be happy.
Fast forward to a couple of years later. It was 2016 to be exact and Total Divas showed up in Dean's life, very unexpectedly. When Renee was offered a spot on the show, she was over the moon about it. But with Renee, would naturally come Dean. They shared a house in Vegas, they were a known couple to the fans and wrestling world now. Of course, the producers wanted Dean included. Dean on the other hand, wasn't entirely on board with it. He was too chill, too laid back, and way too reserved to have reality show hovering around. BUT, he saw how happy that the idea made Renee. Although some of her best friends were the other women involved, Renee was still a little different. She wasn't a wrestler, she didn't get in the ring. A lot of times, she almost felt out of the loop. For her to do this would be an awesome experience. Dean didn't want to deny her that, he couldn't.
The fans had quite a mixed reaction to it. More positive than negative, but WOW could some of them be hateful towards Renee. Neither Dean or Renee let it go to heart, but Dean was overly surprised. He never had any interest in social media what so ever. That didn't mean he wouldn't sneak a peek at it once in awhile. The destructive words that some of his so-called "fans" had towards Renee honestly irked him. These people self proclaimed themselves members of the "Ambrose Asylum" yet trashed his girlfriend? Damn. Then, he reminded himself again, that this is one of the reasons he never got on social media.
Total Divas also got Renee a LOT more attention than she ever had before. Even more than hosting Talking Smack, doing interviews, and hosting Unfiltered did. It even spilled into a storyline between Dean and The Miz. To say Dean wasn't happy about it, was an understatement.
Things started getting weird for Dean during this time period. The attention that Renee was getting was slowly starting to creep up on his subconscious. She had definitely changed a little bit, but he chalked that up to the way the other women acted on the show. She probably picked it up from them. One day a particular "Diva", who isn't worth mentioning commented that "Dean isn't good enough for Renee". Dean probably wasn't supposed to know that the words were ever said, but it got back to him. He blew it off like it didn't even phase him, but it really took a small bite out of him. However, the bite got bigger and bigger, and thoughts that he hadn't entertained in years came creeping back.
Every minute after that was constant paranoia. He never acted on it, but his mind was steadily rolling dice of fear.
…..You're not good enough…What does she see in you?…Her friends are making her realize that you're garbage…..She still has time to leave…They always leave…
The burning words continued through his mind all hours of the day. Sometimes they disappeared when he was asleep, and sometimes they didn't. Renee heard him mumbling them in his sleep one night. He was laying on his back, and every word made her heart fall deeper.
Dean's agonizing thoughts slowly faded when he felt the warmness of Renee's lips on his shoulder. Slowly, he came out of the despair of his nightmare, and reclaimed his thoughts again.
"I'm not leaving you…." she whispered, as her kisses traveled higher, "….Ever….."
Dean swallowed hard, "Are you sure?"
Instead of getting a response, he felt her lips over his. After leaving a few small reassuring pecks, she replied, "I know what's going through your head right now. I know that you can't control it sometimes. But I will tell you as many times as you need me to, I'm not leaving you, ok? I love you, ok?"
Dean breathed a small sigh of relief, as he began to feel his heart again. Gently, he guided her face into his, crashing their lips together and immediately colliding their tongues. It was a desperate, much needed kiss that hadn't existed in the few weeks prior.
"I love you." She smiled, after temporarily breaking the kiss.
In normal, smart ass Dean fashion he replied, "Oh yeah?"
Renee couldn't help giggling, "Uh, yeah."
"Wanna show me?" he asked, as he slid the strap of her tank top down.
"I think I can work that out…"
