Title: Dinner
Author: Monnie
Rating: PG13
Summary: The agents in their old age. Very funny. Please read and review.
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Files or any of its characters. But, God I wish I did! :-)
Author's Notes: This is my first shot at a comedy fanfic. Please review and express your opinion.
***
Prologue
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Actually, it is time for me to fill you in on the past thirty-seven years.
Long story short, Mulder and Scully got married and moved in together, Reyes and Doggett bought a house and are living together- they're just friends. Skinner is still living with his mother who surprisingly, is up to the ripe age of 97, and the Lone Gunmen are as healthy as ever, each residing in their own apartments- all of them right next to each other. Cigarette Smoking Man died twenty-five years ago in 2013. Hey, we told him smoking was bad for his lungs but did he listen to us? No! Hmm... I wonder if he made it into Heaven...*ahem* Kersh bought a farm seven years ago- no one's heard from him since, and Krycek ... well, who the Hell know happened to Krycek.
Well, I think thats everyone. Enjoy the story!
Thursday July 15, 2038.
Mulder and Scully Residence.
(Clock ticking loudly in the background. An aged Scully is knitting. Mulder is watching her.)
Mulder: It's awfully quiet here today.
Scully: Like everyday.
(silence)
Mulder: Maybe we should invite Reyes over.
Scully: Maybe we should invite Doggett over.
-pause-
Scully: We can invite both.
Scully: (on the phone) So you and John won't mind coming over for dinner? Great!
Reyes: I'll invite the Gunmen too. We'll be there at 5:00?
Scully: Great, bye Monnie. (hangs up)
Scully: (to Mulder) They'll be here at five. The Gunmen too.
Mulder: Skinner. We should get him too.
Scully: Skinner, ... Mulder?
Mulder: Yeah, what would dinner be without the skinman?
Scully: (sighs) Fine Mulder. I'll go call him.
Scully: Hi, can I speak to Skinner, please?
Skinner's Mom: Oh you mean Skinny-poo? Just a minute dear.
Scully: (muffled laughter) Okay.
-waiting-
-waiting some more-
Skinner's Mom: (to 'skinny-poo') Hey, skinboy! Some woman wants to talk to you. She sounds like that bimbo you went out with last week!
Skinner: Coming mother. (picks up the phone) Hello?
Scully: Skinny-poo?
Skinner: Shup up Scully. Its a long story. Why'd you call?
Scully: Mulder, Reyes, Doggett, Byers, Frohike, Langly, and I are having dinner together at our house. You're invited, it's at 5:00 pm.
Skinner: Alright, I'll be there.
(in the background you hear Skinner's mom yelling)
Skinner: Bye.
Scully: Bye (hangs up)
***
Mulder and Scully's residence
5:00 pm
Scully: (to all) Thank you all for coming!
Mulder: Could you pass the potatoes Monica?
Reyes: Sure.
Doggett: Why didn't you ask me Muldah? I'm right next to them.
Mulder: You were scrathing your balls! Don't deny it, I saw you! I don't want your dog-ball germs! And my name is Mulder not Muldah!
Everyone: (looks at Mulder)
Doggett: I'm an old man. What do you expect me to do? Walk around and pretend my nuts aren't itchy? (scrathes) Damn, I should've used 'Preperation H'! (scratches some more)
(Everyone looks at Doggett)
Doggett: Damnit Monica, I think it's from you! I think you gave me herpes or somthing!
Reyes: (smacks head and mutters something) Oh God.
Doggett: You think its from what we *did* this afternoon?
Mulder: (grins stupidly) Wait. You mean you two...Oh my God.
Langly: Hey, anyone ever seen that movie 'The Seven Yeaar Itch'?
Everyone: (looks at Langly)
Langly: Hehe, it'd be funny if Doggett had an itchy penis for seven years! Hehehe. (laughs some more, unaware of the fact that everyone is glaring at him)
Frohike: How stupid *are* you, Langly?
