"They stood before the grave…" I mumbled in a flat, monotone voice. My lips followed the words across the brownish yellow page.
I blinked, letting out a soft yawn as the golden light spilled through the window.
With a disappointing sigh, the book resting in my palm slammed shut. "This is stupid." I casually tossed the book away. Once the book was removed, I found myself meeting a dulled gaze.
"You're awake?" I smirked as the head upon my lap shifted.
"How can I rest with that depressing story?" The silver haired man said as he pulled himself up. "You did it on purpose." He immediately accused. I turned to the man whom I have been cohabiting with.
The smirk over my lips gradually widened.
Hatake Kakashi.
A Konoha jounin, as well as the one who thrown me into Konoha Strict Correctional Facility until I was freed one and a half years ago.
"Of course not."
The dullness of his eyes clearly tells me that he could see through my plain lies.
I leaned over, stretching my hands to rest my arms around his shoulder. My body went limp like a branch of willow. I drew myself closer to him to feed against the warmth seeping out from his back.
My eyelids slid down my eyes. The edge of my eyelash gently brushed across his vest. A gentle hand caressed my head and made my muscles to relax further. "If you're tired, go to bed." He told me.
I slowly parted my eyes to the empty void.
"I guess…" I murmured, feeling Kakashi peeling my arms from him. He gently gathered my slumped body into his arms. I rested against him, not bothering to lift a finger for that I had become used to the royal treatment. My body was carefully lowered onto the bed; the side of my face greeted the soft feather pillow.
"Should I close the curtain?"
I feel the warm blanket was pulled over my body. I stared at my lavender blue hair illuminating under the morning sun.
"It's fine." I replied softly. I closed my eyes. If I was a cat, I would probably purr at the hand that stroked my cheek.
"…If you don't leave, you'll be late."
The hand relaxed.
"You're right." Kakashi agreed. If he'd be any later, the Hokage will definitely throw a tantrum.
"I'll be back before sunset. What do you want for dinner?"
I slowly pondered over his question.
"…Nikujaga*."
"I thought you hated potatoes." Kakashi said in surprise.
I thought back to those mud covered roundish roots of a plant. Just the visual image of it made my saliva turn bitter. "I do," I replied, "but I heard that it's a typical mother's meal."
"…Then I'll buy the ingredients. Don't complain about it later."
I smiled as reply.
Kakashi continued on saying something, but his voice was muffled. It was impossible for me to make out a single word. I couldn't figure out what he was trying to tell me, nor did I bothered much.
The warmth slipped away from me.
By the time I reopened my eyes, Kakashi was gone.
"Kill you?" The voice coldly whispered within the pattering noises of rain.
I slowly tore my gaze from my blood soaked clothes to the foreign shinobi standing before me. A droplet of rain water slipped in my eye and came out in a trail of crimson.
This kid…he seems the same age as me.
I then smiled; a very faint smile as the coldness of the water drop slipped down my skin. "Isn't that what you're sent here to do?" I watched as the last burning hut was extinguished by the rain.
The muddy road was dyed in crimson by the villagers' corpses.
"I'm tired." I told him, my eyes slowly drifting back to meet his glare. "I don't have anymore chakra…if you want to kill me– ugh!" I winced at the hand that roughly grabbed my wrist. With a harsh pull, I was yanked up by my arm.
My legs quivered; having no strength left as I collapsed onto my knees. The hand on my wrist didn't loosen. That hand held me up, preventing me from resting. I gazed up to the boy, taking note of the coldness on his face through the thin layer of mask he wore.
That expression…
"Are you…" could it be that he's, "angry?"
The boy stared at me, his lips behind his mask was tightly sealed. I exhaled, my breath slipping through my lips and forming into a puff of white cloud. "Isn't this your village?" The boy questioned coldly as I blinked.
"It is." I replied.
I wondered why he asked. It was obvious wasn't it?
"Then…" I whispered as I gazed up. I blinked away another droplet of the heaven's tear. "Can you kill me yet?" As soon as I spoke, my arm began to tremble.
It wasn't out of my body's will.
It was this boy.
He was holding my wrist so tight that my body unwillingly reacted to him.
"Kakashi." A voice called as a blonde haired man suddenly appeared behind the white haired boy. Like the boy, he too had a strange gentleness in his eyes.
I wonder why…
Such gentle gazes…do they really belonged to a shinobi?
"Is she the one?" The blond haired man asked as he walked up to me.
"Ah." The boy replied as he roughly tossed my wrist aside. Losing my only support, my limped body collapsed into a puddle of water.
My wrist fell before me. For the first time, I realized that my wrist was broken with a thick layer of bruise wrapped around my skin in a dark bracelet.
"There are many people who wanted to live," the boy snapped as he grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me out of the water, "because of you, they lost that chance." My silver eyes shifted and unwillingly got drawn towards that cold gaze.
"Why…?" I asked softly, staring into his eyes as I saw the image of myself, my white kimono drenched in different shades of crimson.
"Everyone dies…they'll die sooner or later anyways."
"…Someone like you will never understand."
"Byakuren* no nee-chan!"
A loud voice banged against my eardrum as I blinked. I stared at the street, slowly turning my head to the seventeen years old youth who was standing beside me, panting as though out of breath.
"Ah…" I murmured before a smile tugged on my lips, "Rokudaime*. What are you doing here?"
"Don't call me that, Byakuren no nee-chan." Despite what he said, he seemed fairly happy with his new title. "I've been calling you for ten minutes." Naruto complained as I noticed for the first time how the stores have their lanterns lit in preparation for night's arrival.
"Did you finish your talk with Kakashi?" I asked, ignoring Naruto's previous statement.
"We finished." Naruto replied. "What about Byakuren no nee-chan? What are you doing here?"
I glanced around the street. "Nothing…I guess." I replied unsurely, having forgotten what I came out for. "Come to think of it…Ichiraku is having a new menu today," I smile, "want to go?"
"…Someone like you will never understand."
Is it still the same?
If it's now…can I understand it now…Kakashi?
"By the way Byakuren no nee-chan."
I glanced up from the empty counter to Naruto who was slurping ramen from his bowl. "Nee-chan used to be an A-rank criminal right?"
A criminal…I haven't been called that for a while now.
"I was, but after I took part in the Fourth Great Ninja War, the Godaime* released me."
"Ah, that war…" Naruto said as he recalled the war that united the land. A nostalgic look crossed his face.
"Brings back memories…nee-chan was in that war?"
I nodded.
"Say, Byakuren no nee-chan, why did you massacre your village?" I turned my gaze to him. "You don't seem like a bad person…" Naruto continued on when he took notice of my silence.
"…No reason." I murmured softly, ignoring the shock that struck Naruto like an explosive tag. "I was abandoned at the border of my village…sensei was the one who raised me. That's why…"
"Those bastards don't understand at all! Kill them! They brought it upon themselves! They don't deserve to live!"
Come to think of it…I don't even understand why sensei wanted to destroy the village. The words he spoke were foreign to me. The only words I understood were the command to kill.
"I only knew how to obey my sensei…that's why…" The flash of crimson crossed my eyes once more.
Hearing the sound of slurps brought me back before any of my flashback could disturb my mind. I turned and saw Naruto slurping on ramen again. "Another bowl!" He shouted once he drank his soup and set the empty bowl aside.
"What were you saying again, Byakuren no nee-chan?"
I stared at him for a long while before breaking out a smile. "No…nothing."
"That reminds me. Byakuern no nee-chan was caught by Kakashi-sensei right?"
I nodded.
"Then why is nee-chan living together with sensei?"
"…Can't I?"
"No, not that…but it's a little strange, to be with someone who put you into prison for so long."
My gaze softened as I recalled how many years had gone by within that boring place.
"Perhaps…"
I whispered at the silhouette of the figure that often comes up to my cell to visit me. "But isn't it stranger for someone to constantly visit a criminal that he caught?" Naruto glanced up to me, but before he could speak, a fist suddenly slammed down his head.
"NARUTO!" It was Sakura, another one of Kakashi's past student.
"Ouch…what was that for, Sakura-chan?" Naruto shouted with a large lump growing out of his blonde hair.
"You skipped work and you ask that? Because of you I got yelled by Tsunade-sama!"
I watched in mild amusement as Sakura began beating Naruto into a lump with the Ichiraku owner and his daughter desperately trying to stop them from trashing their stand. No matter how many times I see it, I always found new interest in their odd behaviors.
"Did you come here to throw my back behind the bars again…?"
I mumbled softly, glancing up to the jounin as the last shackle on my wrist was removed. I waved my hands, my body finally feeling relieved from the weight.
"That's a rude to put it when I came to see if you needed a place to stay."
"…You're going to offer a place for a criminal you caught?" I asked with a soft chuckle, finding it somewhat amusing.
"Do you have any place you planned on going?" I thought for a moment. Sensei has been captured and executed, the village is no more.
"Then…are you going to kill me?"I asked softly as my gaze softened. I stared at his face and read the emotions off his eyes.
"If you aren't…then I have no business with you."
The air grew quiet as I watched that eye staring back at me. "Why do you seek death?" I slowly tilted my head.
"You always say strange things." I picked up my little bag (luggage) and tossed it over my shoulder. "Just like you don't need a reason to live, you don't need a reason to die," I paused for a moment.
"Beside, there's really no point in staying in this boring world. I need to hurry and find myself a resting place before–"
I stopped upon the tug at my arm just when I was about to step out the gate.
I slowly turned, meeting Kakashi's gaze before to his hand that held my wrist.
It was like this that day too…
It was like this that he broke my wrist.
Only…his grip was gentle this time and so was the look in his eyes.
"Death is much more boring than life."
"As though you would know."
"You can say I have experience." I stared at Kakashi before breaking out a laugh. "Your white hair and that dead fish eye certainly make you convincing." My jaw grew sore from laughing. I stared down to the grip that was still locked around my wrist.
Strange warmth poured over my skin….
What exactly is this strange feeling lingering inside?
"It tastes bad."
The moldy potato swirled in my mouth.
After some complications, I finally found myself the ability to swallow.
"Don't complain when you're the one who wanted to eat it." Kakashi said as I gazed up to him. Sensing my gaze, he glanced back to me. I stared at him…for a long while before I leaned over the table and dropped off my half bitten potato into his bowl.
"Then Kakashi can eat it."
He stared at the potato in his bowl with a dull gaze.
"You need to eat some vegetable."
"Potato doesn't count…" I told him and stole the meat from his chopstick. I gulped it down with my rice. Once I finished my meal, I set the bowl onto the table. "Kakashi–" I was about to say when I saw Kakashi flipping around the potatoes in the dish.
"What is it?" He asked, but my eyes were no longer paying any attention to him. I stared at the potatoes and that chopstick that was flipping them around.
Perhaps I shouldn't have eaten all the meat?
"Byakuern?" Kakashi glanced up. A look of concern seemed to crossed his eyes…though I could be mistaken.
I pushed my chair back and pulled myself onto my feet. "…Nothing." I whispered softly as I walked around the table and slid open the kitchen window. I lifted my kimono, careful not to stain it. I leaped over the sink and landed onto the windowsill.
"A woman shouldn't wander around so late." I glanced back to Kakashi who was eating the leftover potato I gave him.
"I'm just going for a walk."
"A walk is fine…" he sets aside his chopsticks and turned to me, "but don't follow strangers."
I gave him a long stare before breaking out a smile.
So I'm treated as a normal woman now. Then again…he's probably the only one who would see me as one.
"Save that line for someone who needs it."
With a kick, I flew off into the night. My kimono fluttered within the wind as I soundlessly landed upon a roof of a flower shop. I ran throughout the village until I arrived at a book shop Kakashi usually visit. I glanced around before spotting Kakashi's favorite books, the Make-out Paradise series.
"Sorry miss, we're closing at this time." The shop owner said as he came up to me. I stared at him… then back to the books. I recognized each and volume, for that Kakashi has them all on his shelf.
Remembering that there was a restaurant not too far, I hurried my way there. I dashed around the corner and through an alley just in time to see the owner taking down the shop's bang.
"Oh, Byakuren-kun!" The owner said when he spotted me.
I silently walked up to him.
"Why are you out so late?" He glanced around before tuning back to me, "Kakashi-san didn't come with you?"
"He's eliminating leftovers." I ignored the confused look that struck the owner's face and glanced around the menu hung on the wall behind the counter.
"Are there anymore gyudon*?"
The owner gave me a wide smile. "Enough beef for one more bowl."
"I'll take it."
Just when I was about to pull out my wallet, some cash were dropped in front of me on the counter. I turned, suddenly finding a tall violet haired man standing beside me. He glanced down at me with those emerald eyes before breaking out a chilled smile.
"It's on me." His voice was hard and flat as glass.
I smiled and pushed the money on the counter towards the owner. "Thanks."
"You're eating out alone so late?" He suddenly asked, turning around to lean his back and elbows against the counter.
"I happen to eat dinner late."
"Why don't we eat together? I know a good place not far away."
"Hey now young man, she's way out of your league." The owner, who has been eavesdropping to our conversation, laughed.
"She's already–"
"Owner, the sauce is boiling." I quickly cut in as the owner turned his attention back to his pan. "If you pay, then I don't see why not." I turned back to the man who smirked at my reply.
After a while of wait, the owner set a bowl of freshly made gyudon onto the counter and wrapped it up in a plastic bag. I mouthed soft thanks and took my food.
"Hey kid, wouldn't hit on her if I was you." The owner said jokingly.
From the corner of my eye, I saw that same cold smile slipping onto the man's lips. "Wouldn't dream of it." He replied before leading me down the abandoned street.
I walked together with him until the restaurant was no longer within our sights. "Now that I think about it," I stopped in my tracks, "my brother might be worry. I think I'll pass on your offer."
"You have a brother?" The man asked in surprise.
I slowly turned and smirked faintly at his reaction.
"I don't look like I have one?"
I watched as the man quickly shook off his surprise and replaced it with another smile.
"It's only dinner, I'm sure your brother will understand."
"My brother treats me like child." I laughed at the memory of Kakashi's word before I left. At my comment, the man laughed together with me.
"Interesting brother you have."
We stood, laughing for a couple of seconds before I quickly grabbed the trashcan by the lamppost beside me.
A flash of light pierced the corner of my eyes as the air grew silent.
Our laughter came to an abrupt end as the shattering sound of metal can echoed into the night. The man stared at the trashcan that was split in half under the pressure of his sword. His eyes trailed up to the roof and shot an icy glare towards me.
"Brother my ass." His attitude changed as I smoothed out the wrinkles in my kimono.
"Believe or not is your choice." With that said, I turned and quickly leaped away to another roof.
"Get back here!" I turned to see the man chasing after me, his katana in his hands. I picked up my speed, but the man didn't fall behind. Surprisingly, he was actually keeping to my speed quite well.
My arms tightened over the bowl of gyudon as I flipped into the air just as three shurikens shot by me. Removing a hand from the object in my arm, I grabbed my kimono and tore off the bottom half to free my legs for better movement.
The moment I landed, I dug my heels into the roof tiles and spun myself around to dodge the blade of the sword. I threw my torn fabric into the man's face. The path of his sword swayed and missed my ear by an inch.
Taking my chance while his vision was stolen, I skipped back to pull some distance between us.
"Wrench!" The man cursed, quickly pulling the silk fabric of my kimono away to clear his view.
I smiled at his direction.
"If I don't hurry home I'll be in trouble."
"Shut up!" The man growled. "You're just a monster that bastard raised. Don't act as though you have any human emotion!" I leaned my head a little to the left to avoid a kunai. "My father…my mother! Everyone was killed by you!" My smile slowly faded as I stared at him. For the first time, I saw the head protector he wore on his leg.
A head protector with a nostalgic symbol embedded on the metal plate.
The symbol of my village.
"I see…" I mumbled before meeting his glare. My smile returned to my lips, wider than before. "You're a survivor."
His glare darkened at my tone.
"You don't feel a bit of remorse?"
"Remorse?" I thought for a moment before casually shaking my head. "I don't think so." I laughed, and that seemed to have set him off as he suddenly screamed. I was pretty sure the entire neighborhood would be woken by now.
A blast of chakra escaped his body as he charged towards me. I stood still, making no plan to move as I watched his blade inching closer to me. A second later, a flash of blue lightning lit the night. Instead of following by the sound of thunder as nature would usually do, it was the sounds of a thousand birds, chirping all at once.
"You're late, onii-chan." I stared at the back of Konoha's copy ninja.
"Who are you calling onii-chan?" Kakashi spoke in a flat and dulled tone. Once the light faded away, the sword that once aimed at me slowly slipped out of my attacker's hand.
"B-bastard…"His weakened voice cursed as Kakashi withdrew his hand. The man tumbled onto the ground with blood flowing from the wound on his stomach. "Why protect…" he gave out a couple of blood-filled coughs, "tha–…that murderer…?"
"Well…" Kakashi mumbled as he took his time giving some thoughts into that question. "Think of it as my responsibility as her boyfriend."
I watched as the man silently slipped out of consciousness. I walked up to the body, crouching down as I stared at the blood that was slowly leaking down the roof.
"Dead?"
"He just fainted." Kakashi replied as I felt two hands slipped beneath my arms. With a pull, I was straightened up. My back collided against his chest. "A woman shouldn't crouch with clothes like that." I glanced over my shoulder to Kakashi, then to my kimono to realize how short it has become.
"Its fine–" I stopped in the middle of my sentence as Kakashi pushed me behind him. A second later, Konoha's ANBU team appeared before us.
"…This is the man." One of the ANBU said, confirming the man with the Wanted poster in her hand. She then waved her hand as her teammate grabbed the man.
"Thank you for your cooperation, Kakashi-san." The woman said, turning to give Kakashi a bow before performing a hand seal.
A whirlwind of leaves twirled around them like a miniature tornado. When leaves scattered away…they were gone.
I stared into the empty space before to the trail of blood that stains the innocent roof.
A survivor…
I thought back to the symbol upon his forehead protector. I never imagine that I would see it again…
"That's why I told you not to follow strangers."
"Being chase is a little different than follow." I hopped down the roof and began walking down the street. Kakashi trailed behind me with his hands in his pockets. We walked in silence with him keeping to my steady pace.
The sound of our footsteps overlapped.
"Kakashi." I called just when we were about to reach home.
"Hm?"
"That man…"
"My father…my mother! Everyone was killed by you!"
"…is he going to die?"
"That will depend on the sentence he's given." Kakashi replied. I stopped just before Kakashi's house, my hands clenched tighter onto the bowl of gyudon that had now cooled.
"Byakuren." Snapping out of thought, I glanced up to see that Kakashi has already opened the front door. He held the door open, waiting for me to go in. Instead of going forward, I took a couple of steps back. With a jump, I slipped into the house through the kitchen's open window.
I walked over to the table and slowly set down the weight in my arm. Hearing Kakashi's footsteps coming down the hall, I quickly melted into the shadows and silently climbed up the stairs. After I entered my room, I closed the door behind me and flopped down onto the bed.
"Remorse…huh?" I pondered the words of that stranger.
No matter how much thoughts I pour into it, I couldn't understand.
I felt no remorse.
It was only natural.
After all…sensei never taught me something like that.
"There are many people who wanted to live. Because of you, they lost that chance."
How could I feel anything when no one taught me how to?
I grabbed my pillow and buried my face into it.
As silence crawled upon me, I found myself hearing all sorts of noises.
The soft ticking came from the clock, the breeze blowing through the night, the soft hoot of an owl…
However, all these soft noises were drowned when a warmth slipped through my hair and gently caressed the back of my head. I rested motionlessly on my bed, unmotivated to move.
"Leave me alone." My voice was muffled through the pillow. The warmth didn't leave. It just continued to caress me.
"If you're worried about him, I can speak with the Naruto tomorrow."
I slowly turned myself around. In the dim moonlight spilling from the window, I met Kakashi's gaze. "Why would I be worried?"
"That's what I want to know." A grin suddenly turned upon his lips hidden behind that mask.
I chuckled upon that as my muscles twitched to pull my lips into a smile. "I was just surprised that someone from that place is still alive." However, Kakashi didn't seemed convince. Usually, he would play along and fake out a reaction to any lies I said, but not this time.
My smile melted from my face.
"…Why did you take me in?" I asked after a while.
The question that always hung on the back of my head…but until now, I've never really bothered to ask. Never knew why though.
"I can't feel this remorse. Even if I do, I don't think I would regret what I've done."
I removed my face from my pillow and slowly sat up. I turned, facing Kakashi as I saw my reflection within his eye.
"…Someone like you will never understand."
"What is it that I can't understand…? Back then…you–" The warm hand that was on the back of my head slipped around to my cheek. With a pull, my body fell against Kakashi. My head rested upon his shoulder, buried against the nook of his neck.
"No…" Kakashi spoke in a soft, soothing tone. Through our close contact, I could feel his throat vibrated when he spoke.
"You've already understood."
My breath stopped.
Understood what? I wanted to ask, but couldn't.
Strangely, I was about to understand what he meant. The meaning behind those words…I knew without the need to spare a second of thought.
A smile swept over my lips.
I snuggled closer to him and brushed my lips across his cheek, tracing the edge of his mask. Although I felt hesitant to pull away, I did anyways after our lips brushed by each other's.
"I'm hungry." I said as I made my way to the door.
"We only have vegetables in the refrigerator."
I froze just when my fingertips brushed against the doorknob. When Kakashi had spoke, I realized for the first time that he was standing right behind me. To make sure, I leaned back and once against fell against his chest. An arm slowly came up and wrapped around my shoulders to steady me. I gently raised my hands and rested them over his forearm at my collar bone.
This warmth…no matter how many times I feel it…I couldn't find myself getting tire of it.
"I could make salad–"
"Don't want."
"It's not good for your skin if you don't consume any vitamins."
I stared at the door.
Surely he knows better ways to convince me.
I parted my lips to argue back…but couldn't find any words I could use.
I couldn't argue back.
When he used that kind of example, I felt something within my chest turned bitter. I never cared much for my own skin so why…?
Why did I feel a little displeased at his words?
"…Byakuren?"
Kakashi's voice broke my concentration. He was probably waiting for one too…a comeback.
My eyes slowly closed as I leaned further against the warmth. I pulled his arm closer against me and rested my cheek against the hand that was holding my shoulder.
A smile came naturally onto my lips.
"Sure…but in exchange, you'll have to eat that gyudon."
Nikujaga – Meat and potatoes
Byakuren – White Lotus
Rokudaime – Sixth
Godaime – Fifth
Gyudon – Beef rice