Hello, everyone! I'm back! And I have a special request for you. This oneshot is based off of Taylor Swift's song "Begin Again". If you listen to it before or while reading this fic, I'm sure that it'll greatly improve your understanding and appreciation (and you'll also get why I thought of these two when I heard the song). Oh, and I only refer to the lyrics and never actually quote the song, so keep your eyes and ears open!
Dedicated to Ichiro-kun. This is my farewell to you and hope that we'll both begin again.
Looking at my reflection, I stand on my tippy-toes. I frowned. Not tall enough. But I guess I never was. I sigh and bend down to strap on my white sandals. They had a bit of a heel, so I suppose it'll do. Ash never liked it when I wore heels; he always said it looked too fake. I look at the picture on my dresser. It's of the three of us. I avert my eyes. Ash. He was a mistake. I thought I liked him but I never did. And it took me eight months too long to figure it out. Cilan...maybe it's not too late.
My heels clicking against the tile, I suddenly feel less confident than ever before. My knees are buckling, but I don't stop. I begin to hum a song, and not just any song, but my favorite. Ash always said he never understood it, but I do. It's a song about a little girl who's lost and alone and frightened - the way I am in my dreams.
I hurry across the sidewalk. I know I'm getting some weird glances, what with my frilly outfit and all. But it was my choice to keep them in the dark about their Champion, so this is just something I've got to deal with. Even as I slip into the corner cafe, I know their eyes are on me.
In the sudden darkness, I'd be as blind as a bat if not for the lamps hanging down from the ceiling. Despite the dim light, my eyes find the one I'm looking for. Cilan. And I know that, even before I spotted him, he saw me. He stands up and gives a wave. It's a good wave, not too friendly (because this is a place he's never been) and not too shy (because he's not afraid to be seen with me).
"Iris!" he exclaims, giving me a wide-eyed look with his bright green eyes. I wish I could see the look on his face. It's too dark to see too much of anything.
"Cilan!" I cry back. I'm glad he still recognizes me, still knows me. Because I know I've changed.
Grinning, I take both of his hands in mine. "How've you been?"
He smiles back. "Good. I was traveling around for awhile, trying new stuff - there were these fabulous lava cookies in Lavaridge - and just got back at the gym." His expression turns from gleeful to confused. "I was only back for a week when I got called here by the Champion. The thing is, I don't know who this Champion could be and no one seems to be able to tell me. All I know is that it's not Alder anymore. Do you know who it is?"
I swallow back a lump in my throat. I was sure Cilan would know, so sure that he would know it was me. I mean, I hand-wrote that note - but Cilan never saw my handwriting. So he doesn't know.
"Cilan," I begin, then stop. I've got a plan. "Can't we just talk? Like old times?"
He looks nervous. "Well, okay. Maybe the Champion just forgot." Shrugging, he pulls out a chair and motions to me. "Well, why don't we enjoy the evening? It's a perfectly good Wednesday evening, and I hear this place has some good food: tangy, salty, and sweet, from what I've seen."
I laugh. Cilan's the same as always, still a connoisseur, no matter where we go. "Sure. I've been here a couple of times myself." As I begin to sit down, I feel his arms around me, helping me in. I try not to blush, but then I remember that he probably can't see it anyway. I wonder why I'm blushing (besides the obvious stuff), but then I remember: Ash never did this for me, never helped me like this. So I smile brightly. "So, what did you see?"
He almost stops himself but hurries on. "Well, there was this old, old house in the Eternal Forest. Do you know where that is? It's near Eterna City."
"Oh! Eterna! Yeah...I've been there." He looks to me, nodding to me to go on. "It was...a long time ago. Back when I was a kid. My grandmother had to talk with the gym leader and brought me with her."
"Gardenia?" he asks, cocking a brow.
"No. I...I don't remember. It was someone else, that's for sure. And, besides, didn't Gardenia only become gym leader four years ago?"
He shrugs. "You know, I'm not sure. But I suppose she did seen to be pretty fresh, so I guess that makes sense. Anyway, while I was there, I found this old, broken-down mansion. Gardenia called it the 'Old Chateu'. I was wandering around when I found this gateau. It was sweet, but in a different way." Arching his eyebrow in that adorable way of his, he put a finger to his chin. Almost like old memories."
I shudder a little bit and look down, my face burning. Old memories. Is that what our time together was to him?
"So how have you been?" He's leaning forward on his hands. As if he's truly interested in what I've been up to. He smiles at me in that way that makes me think that nothing could ever go wrong. That whatever I say has to be right. "You've changed since I last saw you. A bit more mysterious. I can't quite put it into words."
Reflexively, my back goes ram-rod straight. It's no fluke that I've kept my identity a secret so long. Carefully, I search his face, but stop. It's Cilan. What could he expect? He's just being a good friend. I give a weak smile back. "You know, maybe it's because I've grown a bit. And so have you, from what I've seen."
And he begins to do the thing that I least expected: he laughs. He tries to cover it with his hand, but I can tell from his eyes, so there's no need to hide it. Why didn't Ash ever laugh this way? He was always laughing, but never like this. Not with me. As he calms down, he scratches his head and I can tell he's being modest. "No, not really. But you have. In a different way." He smiles.
I think I know what he's talking about. My personality. I'm not a kid anymore. Does he like that I'm more mature now? I look down at my hands as they fidget in my lap. I can't look up, not into those green eyes, not at his bright face. Anywhere, anywhere but there.
"Iris? Are you okay?" His hand is on my shoulder, touching, feeling. I haven't realized how good it feels to be touched, to be felt, to be loved like this by another human being. I look up at his face. I have to. And, as close as his face is to mine, I can see the redness in it...and can feel the redness in mine.
I try to laugh it off. "Cilan, what do you think I am? A kid?" That comment kind of stings, reminding me of Ash. But when I'm with Cilan, he's nowhere in my mind.
We're walking the street quietly, alone in the dark. It's not that we're afraid of getting robbed or something; Opelucid City may be a big city, but most everyone has at least one pokémon for protection. We're talking about the latest news from across the sea and there's a lull in conversation. I look away from him, trying not to think about how close we are, about how our hands could touch in the briefest of moments. Instead, my mind turns to Ash. Should I tell Cilan about what happened between the two of us? Should I tell him about my stupid, childish one-sided crush? Or should I just...keep him in the dark, like how I did about me being the Champion he was supposed to meet?
My brow is furrowing in confusion when he cuts in. "Iris? Are up you doing anything this Christmas?"
I shake my head a bit. "No, not really. Back in the Village, we didn't celebrate Christmas, so I won't be going back there." My curiosity gets the better of me. "Why do you ask?"
He laughs (is he as self-conscious as he sounds?). "I was just wondering. Every Christmas, Cress, Chili, and I watch some movies. Nothing big, just the classics, like A Christmas Tail and The Legend of the Jynx. If you...you know," he falters and takes a deep breath. "If you wanted to come, it'd be great."
I give him a blank look. Cilan getting embarrassed? Over such a little thing? As we walk under a street lamp, I can finally see his face, a crimson that I've never seen him wear on his face before. Quietly, I smile at the ground and slip my hand into his. He looks up, startled, and I laugh.
"You're like a little kid sometimes, Cilan."
And he grins back, holding my hand tightly, as if he never wants to let it go.
"I'll take that as a compliment, little miss Champion."
Thanks for reading! Did you like it? Personally, I've never really considered writing a Wishfulshipping fic, so this really was my first time. Please review! I look forward to seeing what you have to say.
