Guardian Beast in a China Shop

Summery: An insane three-part story being used to clear the perspective authors' head. What exactly does happen when you place hyperactive guardians in a china shop? Eriol has decided to find out. And maybe torture some innocent bystanders of course, you know, in his spare time.

\***/

Eriol gazed around the large show room, where once, beautiful china and hand blown glass pieces reigned in a kingdom of elegance.

Now…?

All in all it had been worth it, Eriol mused picking up another piece of shattered glass. He grinned at the surrounding company, Daidouji Tomoyo was carefully avoiding eye contact and trying to fight the satisfied grin that threatened to break lose on the face she had so carefully constructed to look sympathetic. His CLD (cute little descendant) was purposefully and expertly dividing his glares between himself and Kinomoto Touya. It was truly amazing that while being that red and having just gotten over the worst nosebleed of his life (Sakura-san was next to him, having just changed from one of Tomoyo-san's more "creatively licensed" costumes), Li Syaoran could look that deadly. Touya was half-heartedly glaring back at the boy who had stolen his precious Kaijou and trying to ignore Eriol's guardian, Nakuru. The latter proved a more difficult task as Nakuru was literally crawling on him. Tsukisiro Yukito was, in his own kind and patient way, telling Nakuru to get off his beloved before he let Yue surface. Nakuru herself was busily glomping To-ya-kun and telling off her master, while employing dear Yuki to let Yue out. She hadn't had a good catfight in ages.

Speaking of cats… The two Guardian Beasts, from whom all trembled, were collapsed in an undignified pile beneath many empty 30lb. Sugar bags and an assortment of the beast chocolate Tokyo had to offer, along with three mocha's (each) and a bag of skittles besides. Eriol picked up another glass, in which Sakura was reflected. She was trying (in vane) to lecture the panther and lion about their behavior this afternoon. He turned the glass around; it was one of the few pieces in tact, a large crystal like cup with a dragon "sleeping" on the beautifully carved handle (the fact of the matter was the dragon was fully awake, but Eriol chose not to bring that into common knowledge). A nice piece of work, just like President Daidouji Sonomi this afternoon. Eriol could hardly blame her for her outburst outbursts though. It was rather a shock for all present really. Even to Kinomoto-sensei, who, in all of his worldly travels, had yet to have seen that. And even if Fujitaka did know about the Clow business and had Kero and Spinal as regulars for dinner, no one had prepared him for them to come bursting in with the waffles and chocolate syrup. Eriol grinned yet again (it's a wonder his face doesn't fall off, thought Li-kun) Ah, yes, the conga line of the Guardian Beast of the Seal. Now that was something Eriol would always remember; the fact that it would be at one a.m. during a thunderstorm and after a particularly disturbing nightmare was irrelevant. And the best part was, no one had expected a thing. Everyone except Tomoyo that is, who gave him a look. Yes, it had gone surprisingly well, and he had planned it all….

\*~ Flashback ~*/

Syaoran glared at the all too calm boy next to him. Passersby couldn't understand why the hansom Chinese boy would be so fiercely staring at the equally hansom Japanese/English boy. In all truth Syaoran was glaring at Eriol because Eriol was scaring him. Him, the descendant of Clow Reed, head of the most powerful clan in china, the little wolf who was raised to fight evil and didn't back down once in two years of card-capturing. He got positively fall down terrified at one slight upward tug at the corners of Hiiragizawa's mouth. But that wasn't too bad, after all, Hiiragizawa Eriol was half the reincarnation of Clow Reed, a mage with extremely twisted ideas, a smile to match, and the power to back it all up. So his loathsome fear of Eriol was somewhat justified. No, what was both truly horrifying and humiliating was the one standing next to Eriol.

Daidouji-Tomoyo-Was-Smiling-Very-Happily-TOO-happily.

Syaoran shuttered, he was in for it now, Spinal Sun and Cerberus had arrived towing what looked like all the sweets in Tokyo. He had the strange feeling that Armageddon was upon them.

\*~ Flash further back ~*/

Spinal rolled over on the back of his masters' armchair; "You want me to what?"

"Guard the china shop."

"Why in the name of all that is pure and holy would you want me to do that?"

Eriol grinned, not smiled, grinned, "Mr. and Mrs. Wong's have gone out of town, and me, being the mild mannered-" Spinal snorted, Eriol took no notice. "-And reliable-" Spinal raised his eyebrows, Eriol was certainly reliable, what he was reliable for however, was the point "-neighbor boy that I am, they requested that I watch over the shop in there untimely absence. Unfortunately Miss Tomoyo and I have made appointments out of town and will be away for a good portion of the day tomorrow."

Eriol paused as Spinal- (no other word for it) -guffawed, fell off the back of the chair and hovered in front of his master's face in utter shock. "So, you finally got out of your post Kaho funk and got up enough courage to ask Daidouji-san out?" Spinal considered in what circumstances this could have happened; "Did Ruby have to use her mallet?"

Eriol chose to ignore the core meaning of the statement, " What do you mean work up enough courage?" he said indignantly.

"Don't be an ass master, you've been working up the guts to ask dear Daidouji-san out since sixth grade."

"I have not! I was in love with Kaho then."

"No, Clow was in love with Kaho then, haven't we been over this enough times?"

"Yes, we have. Daidouji-san and I calibrate our efforts once in a while for the soul and entertaining purpose of watching my CLD suffer."

Spinal drooped visibly, knowing his master all too well, he knew that it would be pointless to continue and dropped the subject. However, he couldn't help but wonder at both Clow and Eriol's abilities to be so in-tune with everyone else around them and so off key about themselves. He opted for a change of subject, "And just how am I supposed to take care of a china shop?"

"You'll have help, I've already in-listed the help of Cerberus."

"That's a good thing? Master, as much as I enjoy my rivals' hyper active and childish presence, what is going to happen when customers arrive, expecting the Wong's famous and exceptional service and they see two magical 'Plushies' flying round the room?"

"You have a point, but who do I trust enough to help you?" Eriol looked thoughtful, then, an idea hit him. Well, in all actuality, Nakuru hit him. "Ruby Moon, dear, would you be so kind as to help take care of the shop?"

This polite request seemed to satisfy the offended Nakuru, who smiled saying, "I'm sorry master but To-ya-kun and I have plans tomorrow." Eriol and Spinal merely raised their eyebrows at her in silence. "What?! Okay, Touya and Yukito had plans tomorrow and Yuki, being the delightful Snow Bunny that he is, invited me to drop in. The tasty little Peach has no idea."

"I see, then I'll just have to get the Card Mistress and my Cute Relative to watch over the shop with Kero and Suppi."

"Who is this 'Suppi' everyone keeps referring to?"

"Its you Suppi-chan!" Nakuru caroled; Spinal huffed in disdain.

"Spinal, would you please get Sakura-san and Li-kun on the band wagon, now?"

With a dignified huff "Suppi-chan" flew off in search of the two.

"Eriol, what's going on?"

Eriol decided to feign innocence, "Whatever do you mean?"

"You already knew I had plans tomorrow and that it would be up to Kero and Suppi to guard the shop, do you have something planned?"

Eriol gave a suggestive wiggle with his eyebrows, "All I can say is bring the peach arrow and his snow bunny over around three, the party should be swinging by then."

"Brilliant master!" Nakuru coed, "You had better get sowing though."

Eriol blinked, "Sowing? Whatever for?"

"Because I need a new dress for this!"

As Nakuru raved on about pink lace and leather, Eriol called in reinforcements

\*~ Phone Rings ~*/

"Konnichiwa, Daidouji residence, President Daidouji-sans' secretary speaking."

"Hai, I'm calling for Daidouji-chan."

"And who may I say is calling?"

"Hiiragizawa Eriol."

"Oh, of course Hiiragizawa-kun, just a minute."

Eriol wondered when and how he had become a regular at the Daidouji manor.

"Hiiragizawa-kun, is something the matter?"

"Why miss Tomoyo! Why do you think I would only call if something was the matter?" Eriol could almost hear Tomoyo's eyebrows shoot to her hairline. What he could here was the impatient tapping of her fingers. Eriol hurried on, not wanting to anger one of the famous Daidouji women, with their equally famous tempers. "Actually, Nakuru was requesting a new dress for her outing with Kinomoto-san and Tsukisiro-kun, and I believe her exact words were, 'And make sure you get Tomoyo-san to help because she's way better at it than you-'"

At this point the phone was wrenched form Eriol's hand. "TOMOYO-CHAN!" Nakuru squealed into the phone, "Please, please, please come over! I want master to make me a new dress but you remember how hopeless he is at trimmings, and I want this to have lots!"

Even without the use of his magic to eves drop, Eriol rightly guessed Tomoyo's response of, "I'd be delighted to help make you a new dress Nakuru. But it's going to need lots of lace and bows and flowers. No, not cherry blossoms, only Sakura-chan can do them justice, you're more of the tiger lily type." Eriol vaguely wondered if Nakuru would take that as an insult, she didn't. Obviously she didn't mind what Tomoyo-chan said, as long as she had the best designer in Japan on her side, Nakuru might actually be tolerant. "Arigato Tomoyo-chan! You're coming over now, ne?"

Eriol jumped, "Nakuru, give me that, I'll finish this up. Ruby Moon, I'm serious now! Give me the phone!"

Eriol began an undignified chase, with Nakuru as the target and Tomoyo became the willing victim of Nakuru's commentary, the highlights included: "Master's chasing me now Tomoyo-chan, he really wants to talk to you, ouch! Now that was uncalled for!" and "Oh! He tripped on the easy chair of demention." Last came, " This is fun Tomoyo-chan masters usually calls out his sun staff so quick I can't play with him…uh oh, gotta go!"

The phone was dropped and Tomoyo winced, and began to reconsider sending Eriol and his companions to the funny farm. Eriol called back his staff to pendant form, dusted himself off, and picked up the phone. "Daidouji-san, " he began, opting for sincere politeness, "My deepest apologies, I must stop allowing Ruby to drink those iced coffees like she does. How's that? She climbs over the counter, gets out her funnel and, you get the picture?"

"Crystal clear Hiiragizawa-kun, I'm happy to help with Nakuru's latest terrifying creation, I was wanting to talk to you anyway, when should I arrive?"

"Why don't you come for dinner?"

"If you're sure I'm not imposing…" "Why of course not, you haven't been to my house for dinner in about a year! Yes I know you stop by for lunch quite often but it's not the same, Nakuru and Spinal get rather droopy in your long absences."

Tomoyo decided not to probe any further and accepted. There was something very fishy about Eriol's latest movements, and Tomoyo wasn't about to let him have all the fun. Gathering her most vital sewing supplies and her V8 (Eriol's house always provided a vast amount of lunacy for her tape), Tomoyo got ready.

\***/

Tomoyo arrived with perfect punctuality and polite aloofness. As she walked up the stone steps, she was shocked to be greeted with the sight of a normal looking manor, and when Eriol opened the door to bow her in, her attitude was positively crest fallen. "I must say, I'm slightly disappointed in the lack of atmosphere Hiiragizawa-kun."

Eriol looked up, rather surprised; "Whatever do you mean Daidouji-san?"

"I understand the get up not being here when I come for lunch, but the last time I came to your house for Dinner, the door creaked open on it's own, and an ominous voice ushered me inside. Then Spinal appeared in large form and I rode him to the dinning room where Nakuru was dressed as the bride of Frankenstein asking one lump or two and then a bat flew in and POP, there you where! By the way, Li-kun is still trying to get that bite mark off his neck."

Eriol fought to keep his grins under control and gave her a very cute pout, "In all fairness Daidouji-san that was last Halloween." Eriol was surprised that Tomoyo would have looked over such an obvious element as that.

"I suppose it was," she mused smiling, "And I suppose you know Halloween in very soon?"

"Yes, I do." There was no attempt what so ever to keep his grins under control this time. Tomoyo was about to ask when Eriol interrupted her, "But you mustn't think we're that fun all the time Daidouji-san." Eriol raised an eyebrow as Tomoyo's gaze drifted over his shoulder and brightened visibly.

"Then what is Nakuru doing?" She laughed.

Eriol spun round just in time to see Suppi whiz through cursing a bluish gray streak and Nakuru chasing after him dressed in a cowboy outfit and hurling a lasso around. "As always Hiiragizawa-kun, your house is grand central station for fun footage." "Oh? Is that what we're calling it now?"

Tomoyo chose to ignore that.

"Why don't you have some tea first and then we can discuss the abomination that Nakuru has requested to wear tomorrow."

Tomoyo followed Eriol into the pleasantly lit tearoom; "Yes, and then we will discuss tomorrow, over a sewing project."

It wasn't really a suggestion, but Eriol pretended it was. "Oh, of course we will. I was thought we'd take a long stroll through the country and-"

"Not that, I meant what was going on here while you had me stowed away in a picnic basket." "Come now Daidouji-san, what makes you think something is going to happen?"

"If Nakuru is requesting my help on a dress, something big is going to happen."

Eriol merely pouted and Tomoyo shined with triumph.

\***/

Four cups of tea and a hyper active Nakuru later, Eriol and Tomoyo were quaintly seated in the sowing room (yes, Eriol has a sewing room). Eriol had just finished explaining why Spinal was guarding the China shop. "So you see, nothing fishy about it. Spinal should be here any moment to give a full report."

Tomoyo simply set her project in her lap, and turned to face Eriol, "Hiiragizawa-kun, You are far too observant to have overlooked the fact that Nakuru had plans and wouldn't be able to accompany Spinal. And the fact still remains that the Wong's haven't taken a vacation in twenty years and suddenly, one quiet Tuesday evening, they up and run for the British Isles, leaving you, a boy they barely know, to watch over their shop for a week."

"I'd say that about covers it yes." So what if Daidouji-san had just about guessed his plans now? He had been counting on having her as a partner in the scheme from day one, but he would be damned if he was going to say so in front of that V8. Tomoyo guessed this and quickly turned it off. Leaning forward she said, "Hiiragizawa-kun, it's bad enough that you didn't give me time to plan Sakura's wardrobe, but if you dare try and snuff me out of the planning-"

"No need to worry fair Tomoyo-san, I would never even consider doing such a thing. The fact is, I happen to know you already have the perfect little number for Sakura-san in your vast collection…"

From the doorway, Spinal had just enough time to note their heads bent together in plotting before Eriol sensed his presence and asked for a report, poor Little Wolf, Spinal thought while giving it, he didn't stand a chance. Then again, the Peach Blossoms prospects weren't looking too bright either.

\***/

Exactly how did you talk me into coming down here?" asked a confused and disgruntled Li Syaoran at ten am the next day. It was bright, beautiful and crisp as Sakura unlocked the door to the downtown china shop. Kero-chan floated smugly above them.

"Hoe, I didn't Syaoran-kun. I we were arguing over it this morning and when I started to walk here, you followed. You kept talking about 150 reasons not to trust Eriol-kun and why we should have shot the messenger, poor Suppi-chan." Sakura made a sympathetic noise.

Syaoran blinked, "Then I'm leaving. I'd rather be doing 175 things than do favors for Hiiragizawa."

Kero saw his cue to cut in, "But then you'll miss spending the whole day with Sakura and she'll get lonely."

Syaoran considered this.

"Oh well, Eriol-kun can keep her company, he may be the only boy she sees today and-"

Kero-chan didn't need to say any more as Syaoran was already at the cash register and taking inventory.

"Thanks Kero-chan, now remember to stay out of view if any customers come by." Kero grabbed the chocolate and raced into the back room.

Syaoran saw him fly by and had the distinct feeling he'd been duped.

"When is Suppi supposed to come?" whined Kero from the other room, the sounds of gaming in the background.

"I confess I don't know when Suppi will be here Cerberus, but I am here now."

"Suppi!"

"Who's Suppi?"

"C'mon stick in the mud, I have a new game in the back."

"I'm sorry to detain you Cerberus, but if you and Spinal don't mind, would you be as kind to bring in the things from outside?" Spinal and Kero transformed and raced out back where a third of the sweets in all of Tokyo were parked.

Tomoyo entered next, sweet and demure in a sundress and smile. Her v8 was hidden in her bag and a picnic basket parched on her arm. "We just wanted to see you all before we left. You have my cell number Sakura. Call me if you need ANYTHING at all. I also left a bag of ::ahem:: 'supplies' in the truck that Kero and Suppi are emptying."

"Tomoyo-chan you sound just like Touya-kun. We'll be fine, besides, I thought the Wong's asked Eriol-kun to look after the shop, not you?"

"They did, but I enlisted Daidouji-sans help with my Halloween party and she somehow got caught up in this. Oh, and by the way, you are all invited to the party, invitations are already in the mail." Eriol smiled and looked over at the counter where Li-kun shuddered and one hand involuntarily flew to his neck. But before he could protest Sakura accepted the invite and assured Eriol that they would both be there in their finest costumes. Tomoyo assured her she had some ready.

Syaoran had never seen Tomoyo look so happy in his life. This was not good; a happy Tomoyo indicated a scheme. This was not good. Was he imagining things, or were Eriol and Tomoyo grinning at each other behind Sakura's innocent back? By Kami- was that… was that a remote control Daidouji was holding?! Of course, how could he have been so stupid? The whole place was bugged! There must be camera's everywhere! He spun around wildly looking for them and ended up on his head before flopping down in the counter.

"Hoe! Syaoran-kun, I didn't know you could brake dance!"

This was not good. From his somewhat uncomfortable position, Li-kun spotted Kero lowering a rather huge back of sugar off his back before grinning and trotting off for more. This was really, really, REALLY not good!

While Li-kun was suffering from suspicion raised delirium, Sakura was chatting happily with her two best friends and completely unaware of the glances they occasionally did exchanged. Tomoyo however, had left her remote at home. Darn it! As it turned out, Eriol and Tomoyo should be back by 2:30. Yuki, Touya and Nakuru should be there by 3:00. "Perfect, then why don't we all have a late lunch together? Since you two will be eating it so early this morning, and I'm fairly sure Touya will have lost his appetite after when he finds out who he's dining with."

Eriol smiled, Sakura had gained some insight and wit over the years after all. "Indeed, well I shall see you soon then. Good luck today!" Eriol and Tomoyo left through the front door very quickly and Sakura waved goodbye before turning back inside. Syaoran gave a frightened howl and tugged on Sakura's sleeve- he pointed - Sakura looked, and wished she hadn't- piled up in front of the back room door were enough sweets to feed an entire army of sugar high commando's, or Kero and Suppi on a good day.

It was only 11:16 am, and Kero-chan had already eaten one 30-LB bag of pure sugar. As the Familiar flew around the room, Syaoran sighed and picked up Sakura's unconscious self and put her in a chair, it was going to be a VERY long day.

\***/

Sonomi and Fujitaka had never been on very good terms as far as Sonomi was concerned. But Fujitaka had this irritating insistence to be nice, lovely and wonderful to her despite her extreme dislike of him, nasty little booger. Sonomi had never quite understood this, as she had done everything in her power to make him understand he was hated. Everything in her power just happened to include everything from spitting on his shoes to hiring an assign four different times to kill him, and then telling him about it after he kept escaping (she was hoping that he'd learn to hold still, damit). She also tried arsenic filled cookies. These however had turned out to be more of a threat to Kero than to Fujitaka, which Sonomi had never found out. The disappointment would have killed her. Sakura just said they had never been delivered. And yet somehow or another, despite this extreme hatred she held for him, they had become rather good friends as their children grew older and closer. In fact, they had once a week tea in which they exchanged story's of their now astonishingly almost adult children. Sometimes… most times… Sonomi still felt incredible irritation at the evil man who had stolen her cousin and detested having him around once a week… Especially since he made such terribly good cupcakes. But it was lucky he was around today, because at five O'clock, exactly one hour after everyone in the china shop had taken a break to eat a lunch, at the same moment Sonomi and Fujitaka had sat down to high tea, President Daidouji Sonomi received a very strange phone call indeed.

Phone Rings

"Excuse me Daidouji-Sama, but your daughter is on the line."

"Oh! You don't mind if I take this, do you Fujitaka?"

"Not at all Sonomi, it will give me time to recover from our 'lively' chat."

From above and a little to the right hovered Nadeshiko's ghost, who noted ::Translation: "It'll give me time to nurse my wounds."::

Alright, well, go ahead and eat up, don't forget to try the cookies, they're from the same baker as last time."

::Translation: They've been laced with twice as much poison as before and God help that poor stuffed animal if he sees them.:: Fujitaka smothered a laugh and started to listen to what would be one half of a very interesting conversation.

"Hello Tomoyo dear, oh, you're going to be late for supper. That's fine I suppose… how did your picnic with Hiiragizawa-kun go? What do you mean… oddly? Oh, the picnic went fine… but the china shop is a mess? Why? What happened? What do you mean there's thirty feet deep vast of chocolate... Who's swimming in it!!!!!!??? What in the heck is a Suppi-chan and why is it dancing on top of a doorframe? Tomoyo-chan! TOMOYO-CHAN WHAT IS THAT NOISE! NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RELEASE ALL FOUR ELEMTAL CLOW CARDS AGAINST ONE OF ERIOL'S TRAPS AND WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOSES IS AN ILLUSION CARD…? SAKURA IS WEARING WHAT???? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT NAKURU'S FANTASY IS, LET ALONE WHO'S IT COINSIDES WITH! WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZES WAS THAT…? WHAT EXACTLY IS A CERBERUS AND HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU MAKE A THING AS LARGE AS YOU SAY IT IS FLY ALL THE WAY INTO THE NEXT THREE BUILDINGS WHILE DRUNK…!" Sonomi paused for her breath and the explanation; it didn't seem to help much. "That's IT young lady, I'm coming over there, NOW!" Sonomi hung up the phone and turned a dangerously deranged eye on Fujitaka.

Whatever may have been going on at the china shop, Fujitaka suddenly out that figured it wasn't the right place for Sonomi to learn of her child's best friend's powers. "Now calm down, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for their behavior…"

"That's right, Tomoyo said you would know what was going on!" She shrieked.

From above and slightly to the left Nadeshiko was making clicking sounds as Sonomi flew around the room screaming words even she didn't know she knew and going into a mind frolickingly induced panic as to whether she needed to bring the shot gun. Luckily, Nadeshiko had persuaded Fujitaka to take the bullets out after their last visit. Which needless to say, hadn't gone so well. Both Fujitaka and his deceased wife followed the rather manic Sonomi calmly out of the house; they were both used to it by now.

::She's taking the long way to the shop:: said Nadeshiko.

Fujitaka smiled, "Good, it'll give Eriol-kun some time to organize things… or at least unstrap some people from the ceiling…"

::How does such a nice boy think of such things?" Nadeshiko asked sadly.

"Our nice Eriol is also a very twisted Clow Reed, remember?"

:: Seems to me my nice husband had something to do with that::

Fujitaka blushed, but didn't have much time to comment as they had arrived. Sonomi let out yet another blood curdling scream at the sight that greeted her as she opened the door to a store, which had once been so respectable. It was rather unfair really; Sonomi wasn't a wimp in any way shape or form. She probably could have even taken Sakura and Nakuru's matching "clothes" and even the chains… although them and the magic beings flying around might have scared her just a wee bit, but she might have handled at least the windy… No, what was really just too much to bear was the conga line coming dangerously close to her… the conga line featuring two very large and winged cats, some very oddly dressed people whom she recognized as part of her family and more magical slightly transparent creatures causing absolute havoc. To top it all off, at the end of the line there was a familiar looking bat in a picnic basket chasing Li Syaoran.

President Daidouji Sonomi was very upset, President Daidouji Sonomi was screaming, President Daidouji Sonomi was suddenly in the middle of the conga line, President Daidouji Sonomi was letting off several rounds of a pistil.

::She's rather upset, isn't she dear?:: Asked the angelic creature who wasn't really there.

Fujitaka looked up at his precious Nadeshiko and smiled, "Well, its only to be expected, you and I have seen this before, this is Sonomi's first time Sonomi of seeing what happens when you put a Guardian Beast in a China Shop."

\*~End Part One!~*/

A.N: Cackles I can't be sure where I got the idea from, but I think one of my favorite CCS authors said something about sticking Kero and Suppi in a candy shop for a few hours and I'm fairly sure it just went on from there. The next two installments of this will be posted separately under the names of "The Clue of the Guardian Beast" and then The Aftermath of the Guardian Beast… as soon as I write them. I had writers' block on my other story so I figured I'd take this one down from the shelf and mess with it. That might not have been a very wise idea, but it was a fun one. I'll be calling Nakuru a girl simply because he/she asked me so nicely and, frankly, because when Nakuru says to do something there isn't much of another choice. R&R!