Written by: Lysi Marie
Chapter One
The vid-screen was frozen upon his face. The words he had spoken were emotionless, though his eyes betrayed him. She knew him well enough to know that he was breaking inside. She smiled weakly, the tears streaming down her face. Their relationship was over. He was away on the newest ship to join the Federation, and she was stuck on Earth at the academy. Their relationship had been a secret and she had no-one to comfort her.
The last words he said to her insisted that this was what was best for both of them.
She knew he was right.
But that didn't take away the pain.
She shut the vid-screen off, and laid on her bed. Her roommate was away for the night, which relieved the young girl. She allowed her thoughts to wonder freely, which led to her tears flowing constantly.
You should have known this was coming...
He's a Vulcan...
And you're Human...
He's a First Officer...
And you're a Cadet...
It was never meant to be...
...
...
...
...
Athena sat up from her bed, placing her head in her hands. Her memories from five years ago had been flooding her dreams recently, which led to her losing many hours of sleep. She glanced over at the clock, which read that it was very early in the morning. She knew if she stayed in her quarters that she would spend the rest of her evening tossing and turning in her bed as she tried to lock up her thoughts. She decided to rise and prepare for the coming day. After showering and grooming herself, she slid into her blue uniform.
After exiting her quarters, she walked through the empty halls to the crew's recreation area and sat at the piano. She began to play idly, her thoughts flowing back to the man that continued to hold her heart. Despite her desperate attempts to change the way she felt about him, her heart continued to love him. She knew he was still on the same ship, part of the same crew, and she also knew that she was to be placed into that crew.
When she learned of her new assignment three weeks ago, her heart both jumped and sank. She felt both nervous and livid. Her mother assured her that it was going to be a challenging assignment, and that she would not be disappointed. However, being on a ship with the man who broke her heart for the next five years was not something she was truly looking forward to. Especially since there was a small chance that her assignment would involve working with him. She knew the crew of the Enterprise, and her placement would be either with him or Doctor Leonard McCoy. She had met McCoy years ago while she was in academy, and had kept in touch with him throughout the years. She knew of their travels, the things they had encountered, and the dangers they all had perservered through.
She supposed that his vid transmissions had kept a part of her love for his comrade going, as he spoke of him frequently. She worried about Spock, knowing she shouldn't. She wondered if he ever thought of her. If he did, did he still love her? Or had he allowed his Vulcan half to extinguish any of that emotion?
She senced a presence behind her causing her to turn. Behind her was her mother, Admiral Romanos, the first female Admiral in Star Fleet. She had her hands tucked behind her back, and her eyebrow quirked. "Why are you awake this early?"
Athena shrugged a shoulder as she continued to play. "I can't sleep."
Her mother chuckled and sat beside her. "Excited?"
"Hardly." she replied, her voice bland.
"You mean to tell me that my daughter is not excited about being placed on an important assignment on the most advanced starship in the Federation's Fleet?" she asked, amazed.
Athena knew she needed to cover her answer. "I mearly nervous Mom. I'm not entirely sure what my assignment is, and I'm worried that I'll let you down."
The Admiral stilled her daughters hands and held them in her own. "No matter what you do, I will always be proud of you."
Athena quirked an eyebrow.
"As long as you don't betray the Federation." she added.
She smiled and squeezed her mother's hands. "Thanks Mom."
"Of course Athena. Now, since you're up, I think you should report to your post. It doesn't hurt to begin an assignment early." she said, authority filling her voice.
She nodded and walked away after saluting her mother with a smile on her face. There wasn't much time until the rendezvous with the Enterprise. She was going to be facing Mr. Spock soon. The man who broke her heart, but still held the pieces.
The Vulcan was lying in his bed, his chest exposed from the sheets. His arms were crossed behind his head, and his eyes were closed. He had quieted his thoughts so that he could rest easily, though having heard about the Enterprise's newest addition that was about to arrive, threatened that silence.
He had thought of Athena often throughout the years. He had even recorded many vid messages to send to her, but they continued to pile up in his safe. His emotions were hard to keep control of when he thought of her. He had done well upon learning of her transfer, merely acting as though he barely remembered her. But oh, how he remembered. He could bring up every feature of her in his mind. The way her skin felt beneath his fingertips, the way her lips felt against his, the pain at having to let her go. He knew she would be better for it. He could never treat her like a human mate would. He couldn't sympathize with her when hardships came. He couldn't laugh with her, cry with her, or even have something humans called an argument. He would always be logical. And she would always be emotional.
Spock opened his dark eyes and sat up. He moved to his safe, entered the combination, and searched through its contents. He felt the round object hidden in the back, and pulled it out. He sat at his desk and laid the holo projector upon it's surface. He clicked a blue button, and the holo began to project images of Athena. He had taken many holos of her when he learned he would be leaving on the Enterprise for a five year journey. He knew he would have to end their relationship, but he found himself unable to tell her.
It wasn't until the Enterprise began their mission, that he sent her a vid message. He didn't expect a reply, and none was given.
Spock shut the holo off, and returned it to its hiding place. He showered and dressed for his upcoming post on the bridge. Though he wasn't due for another four hours, the Vulcan walked to the elevator and relieved his replacement early. Maybe some work would keep his mind off of the woman that continued to thwart his efforts to control his emotions.
The two starships sat at a standstill. Communications were open, and Captain James T. Kirk and Admiral Amelia Romanos were having a visual conference. Athena was visible in the screen, and she did her best to keep her attention focused on the conversation. Spock was not in sight, but on occasion, she could hear his voice speaking in Vulcan. It had been so long since she had heard the way he spoke. She felt her heart stop beating the first time, and when he spoke again, although muted, her stomach quenched in anger. She hated the way he made her feel. Despite the feelings she had locked up within herself, she wanted nothing to do with the Vulcan.
Spock was having similar feelings. He had to restrain himself from turning to the large vid screen, knowing she was standing in sight. He tried his best to continue his work, muttering things to himself in Vulcan so that his companions wouldn't understand him. It was when Jim addressed the young lieutenant that Spock nearly allowed himself to show emotion.
"We're glad to have you come aboard Lieutenant."
"Thank you Captain. I'm looking forward to working with your crew." she replied, her voice serious.
They exchanged closing plesantries and the vid screen shut off.
"Spock, will you join me to greet our new lieutenant?" Jim said, turning to his friend.
The Vulcan nodded, and followed his Captain to the elevator. They shared a quiet silence, Spock trying to do his best to meditate and stop the emotions that were flooding through him. "Spock, something wrong?"
"Quite the opposite Captain. I believe I am doing quite well by your standards." he replied, finally sealing all emotions away.
"Glad to hear it."
The two stepped off the elevator and entered the Transporter room. "Is the Lieutenant ready?" Kirk asked the engineering tech.
"Yes sir."
"Energize."
Within moments, the young lieutenant was materialized before them, standing upon the platform. The woman glanced at Spock for just a moment, before directing her attention at the Captain. "Welcome aboard Lieutenant Romanos."
"Thank you Captain. It's an honor to be serving with you." she replied, steping down to shake Kirk's hand.
"Likewise Lieutenant. This is my First Officer, Mr. Spock." he said, turning to his Vulcan friend.
Athena nodded at him, her eyes lingering upon his own for a brief moment before turning back to the Captain. "I was wondering if you would inform me of my complete assignment Captain. My mother told me only the bare basics." she said, following him throughout the corridors of the Enterprise.
"I'm afraid that information will be given tonight at dinner. If you would like to join Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, Engineer Scott and myself tonight that is."
The young woman took a brief silent breath before replying. "I would like that."
"Excellent. I'll-"
A hailing sound filled the hall the trio stood in. "Captain Kirk, please respond."
Kirk looked to Spock and headed to the intercom. "Kirk here."
"The Admiral is wishing to speak with you. She asks to speak with you in private." Uhura's voice replied.
"Transmit her into my quarters. I'll be there momentarily." he replied, shutting the intercom off and turning to the two beside him.
"If you'll excuse me, I have to go reply to your mother. Spock, please show the Lieutenant to her quarters."
When the Captain was gone, and it was just the two standing alone in the corridor, Athena turned to him. "Well Mr. Spock. I would like to set my bags down if you don't mind."
Spock turned to her, as though he just realized she was there. "Of course. Follow me." he said, taking a few of her bags himself.
They walked in silence through the Enterprise, both completely wrapped up in their thoughts. Athena didn't know what to say to him without losing her temper, and Spock was logically staying quiet to avoid evoking an emotional responce. They remained that way until they reached the turbo lift. Athena knew she couldn't keep avoiding conversation with him for the next five years, and decided to put her personal feelings aside. "Mr. Spock," she said, her voice quiet.
He turned to her in the small space, his eyes betraying his internal conflict. So he does have hard feelings about what happened between us, she thought. She turned her head down, so as not to betray her own self. "How has work on the Enterprise been treating you?" she asked.
"Quite well Lieutenant. And your work? I heard rumors that you had nearly beaten all of my scores at the academy."
Athena smiled and turned to him. "I did have a good tutor."
Spock looked at her, longing to touch her just for a moment, but was interrupted by the turbo lift opening its doors, revealing their destination. The lieutenant turned and looked down the corridor. "Are these the dormitories?" she asked, beginning to walk without her Vulcan companion.
"Indeed. I believe you will be located at room 3F 132." he said, escorting her down the hall.
On the way, Athena noticed that they had passed his own quarters. She wondered if the closeness of their rooms was mere coincidence. She followed Spock into her room, and placed her bags upon her bed. "Thank you Mr. Spock. I think I would have gotten lost trying to find my way down here alone." she said, a small laugh escaping her.
"You are welcome Lieutenant. Would you-"
Athena turned her head around, looking for the intercom in her room that had just began hailing. "Commander Spock? Commander Spock come in." Captain Kirk's voice filled the room.
Spock showed her the console on her desk that held the intercom and responded to the Captain. "Spock, I would like for you to meet me in the briefing room. McCoy and Scotty are already on their way."
"Understood Captain." he replied.
"Excuse me Lieutenant."
Before Athena could say a word, the Vulcan was out of her room and nearly half way down the corridor to the turbo lift. She watched him go, and wondered why he was so eager to be away from her. And just what was he going to ask me?
A loud buzz awoke the young woman sleeping upon her bed. She sat up and stretched before heading to the door of her quarters. "Who is it?" she asked.
"It's your dear old boyfriend Miss Athena." a southern voice called, a smile very apparent in his voice.
Athena opened her door quickly, her smile warm. "McCoy. It's been so long." she said, giving her friend a hug.
"It's nice to see you too. How've you been kiddo?" he asked, sitting at her desk.
"All right. Although I still have no idea what I'm doing on this ship." she admitted, leaning against the edge of the table.
"Aw cheer up. It can't be all that bad." he said. "If you don't mind, I'd like to escort you to dinner tonight."
Athena laughed. "I would greatly appreciate it. I don't know the layout of the Enterprise yet. Is she similiar to the Constellation?" she asked, walking to her bathroom to freshen her hair and face.
"Almost. There's a few minor details that are different, but nothing that should interfere with your work upon her."
It wasn't long before Athena stepped out of her bathroom and stood before the doctor. "I'm ready whenever you are." she said.
"Come on Kid." he said, extending his arm for her to take.
The two talked as they made their way to meet the rest of their dining party, reflecting on the past few years and their work. When they entered the room, Captain Kirk and Scotty were waiting for them. Athena noticed that Spock was late, which was very unusual. Having known him as well as she did, Spock was the last person in the Federation that would be late for anything. She ignored her thoughts on the matter, and allowed herself to enjoy conversations with the Captain and Scotty, who was currently entertaining her with some tales of Scotland.
"Oh, Scotty. You speak of Scotland as though it were paradise." she said, her smile warming the gentleman's heart. "Will you take me there someday?" she added, giving him a playful wink.
It was then that the Commanding Officer decided to make his entrance. Athena looked up at him, and saw that he had indeed heard her flirtation with his friend. She ignored him, and turned her attention back to Scotty, who knew she was just kidding around, and agreed to her question. "Aye, dearie. I will take you there one day."
"Mr. Spock." Kirk said, standing to greet his friend, "You're quite late. What kept you?"
"Lab analysis." was all the Science Officer would say.
Athena watched him out of the corner of her eye as they all began to eat. McCoy and Scotty kept most of the conversation going, each playfully flirting with the young lieutenant, which made Athena notice Spocks behavior become more solem and withdrawn. However, she played along with the doctor and engineer, enjoying their company and laughing to the point of tears. "Gentlemen, you're going to make me split in half if you continue with your conversation." she said, giving the two a small wink.
The two smiled, evidently proud of themselves, and she turned her attention to the Vulcan sitting near her. "Mr. Spock, you've been quiet most of this evening."
Spock was not expecting her to address him. In fact, he was completely unprepared for it. He had been spending most of the evening meditating silently as he ate, so he could remain under control. "Indeed. I simply see no need to interrupt your conversation. You all seem to be enjoying it. I assume my logical view on things would seem... as you would put it, annoying."
Athena smiled, and purposefully placed her hand upon his. "I highly doubt that. I would like to have such a logical conversation." she said, her eyes challenging him.
He quirked an eyebrow, and accepted her challenge. "I see. Then would you mind explaining to me why you would permit such illogical behavior from both the good doctor and our chief engineer? I am completely oblivious to any reasonings why you continue to engage in this."
Internally, Athena realized that he was slightly upset with her. She smirked. "To enjoy it. I admit, there is no logic in many human conversations, however if we humans were nothing but logic, I would predict that down the line, we would end up completely and irrevocably unable to live life further. I firmly believe that laughter and humor are vital parts of human biology which keep us healthy and further our life span."
"You always did." he whispered in Vulcan, barely audible for her to hear.
Athena smiled, and accepted her victory. "I say Miss Athena, that's the first time I've ever seen Spock completely baffled as to an answer." McCoy said, interrupting their logical conversation.
"Quite the contrary doctor. I merely have no logical response to give her."
McCoy scowled. "Always have to have the last word." he grumbled, rolling his eyes.
Athena giggled, and knew she was going to enjoy serving on the Enterprise. She looked across the round table to the Captain, who himself was smiling. "Excuse me Captain. I don't mean to be overbearing in conversation, but you did say you would inform me of my assignment after dinner."
Kirk nodded, and stood from the table. "Indeed I did. As you know, you've been assigned to work on the Enterprise as we take on yet another five year mission to further explore the galaxy. I have been completely informed of your assignment by your mother and the rest of the Admiralty Board. It is because of your vast intelligence, ability to adapt to any situation, and your high skill in scientific persuits, that they have come to the conclusion that you will begin to study directly beneath Mr. Spock and learn all you can from him in order to further your knowledge and further become a valuable crewmember aboard any Federation Starship."
Within moments, all the blood fell from Athena's face, and she turned to Spock, who had apparently been informed earlier. She quickly turned back to the Captain, and made herself appear pleased. "I am honored. And suprised. I thought that with all my medical training that I would be working with Doctor McCoy."
"It was a very difficult decision for the Admirals to make. But your mother remembered your days in the Academy when you were so involved with Science and how you had mentioned that one of your goals was to be the best in Science training. She wanted me to tell you that this is her way of helping you achieve that goal." Kirk continued.
Athena remembered those days. She had that goal back while she and Spock were still having their relationship. "Thank you Captain. If you don't mind, I would like to return to my room to send a vid message to my mother." she said, standing from her seat.
Kirk nodded and Athena all but ran from the room. McCoy knitted his eyebrows together, then shook his head. "Not exactly the reaction I thought she would have." he said, standing next to his friend.
"Me either." Kirk added.
As the two talked with Scotty, none of them noticed that their Vulcan friend had slipped away from the room.
Athena sat at her desk, her aching head cradled in her hands. "Not again." she muttered, letting her head fall to the desk in a loud thump.
She groaned, and sat up. "That wasn't very smart." she mumbled.
A loud ring furthered the pain in her head, which alerted her that someone wished to enter. She stood and walked to the door. She opened it and saw Spock standing before her. Athena sighed and walked back, allowing him to enter. She slumped back into her chair and laid her head upon her desk...gently this time.
Spock remained quiet, taking a moment to admire the beauty that sat before him. Her dark wavy hair was draped against her pale skin, hiding her light blue eyes from him. Her breathing was slow, and he knew she was deeply stressed. He wondered briefly if she had dropped her head to the desk earlier. He knew she was prone to do that.
"Lieutenant." he addressed, standing just inside the room.
"Go ahead Spock. Tell me what you want." she said, her voice muffled.
"Athena."
It was then that she looked up at him in shock. He spoke to her with such tenderness that she had forgotten he possessed. "I had no idea that you were going to be assigned to work with me until this afternoon."
She nodded, and stood from her seat. "I hate to say this, but it is the most logical assignment for me to have." she sighed.
"If you wish."
Athena nodded again, this time a smile on her face. "I do. I'm amazed that Star Fleet has this much interest in me. I did the best I could in the academy so no one would say that I got through it because my mother's an admiral. I wanted to be the best I could be, and prove it to myself."
"Have you?"
She looked up at him, her blue eyes confused. "...I don't know." she whispered.
Spock felt the same pain he did when he sent her his last vid message. He wanted to reach out to her, but knew she would not appreciate it. He knew she was upset to be working with him, and even though it truly did not make complete sense to him, he understood. "I have informed communications that any time I am asked to be anywhere, you are to be informed and meet me there. That includes my work on the bridge and away missions unless there is cause for you not to be."
"I understand."
He hesitated for a moment then turned to leave. "Spock?" she called, reaching out to him.
He stopped, and turned again to look at her, his brow quirked.
"I..." she stopped and sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Spock left her room, and Athena fell into her bed. "Why did it have to be Spock?" she whispered, her mind battling between jumping for joy and castrating every male Admiral.
A/N: Just when you thought I was dead, here I have come back to life in the fanfic world! I know starting a new story isn't what most of you had in mind, especially when Dark Chocolate has yet to be finished, but this is what I do. I would appreciate any reviews since this is my first attempt at a Star Trek fiction, and I am very, very new to the fandom. Thank my new husband for that! haha!
I do have a few more chapters completed, and I am working without a beta, so please be patient with me, especially since I don't have internet. It may take a while between updates, and that would be the reason.
Take care, and let me know what you think!
-Lysi Marie