"I wrote a letter to my love, and on my way, I dropped it."—traditional.
I had not intended to read my father's correspondence when I started settling his affairs. I had been called back from my post in Europe as he became less cognitive, simply to agree to end his life-supporting care. He wouldn't have cared for it anyhow and I was glad of the end. Glad of it, but I missed him, more than I had cared to believe until I was looking at the residue of his life.
Dear Agent Hotchner,
-More than a few letters started this way, in a peculiar almost stilted style, which I would come to look for as I read the archive of my father's life; surprisingly often hand written, and sometimes unfiled, often partially illegible, was a series of letters sent for years, and received for years, between my father and Spencer Reid. Dr. Reid is how I knew him as a child; Henry, my childhood friend was close to Dr. Reid, I feel as though I barely Spencer, as my father called him, but I came to cherish his letters—
Yours, Dr. Spencer Reid
Dear Spencer,
- The letters in earnest start about a year after Dr. Reid joins the BAU, a note from my father, an apology for an awkward moment between the two. There are pauses between letters, sometimes months, sometimes addresses changed. For a few months Dr. Reid received and sent letters from a hospital stay, a rehab center according to Henry. It seems likely though they never discuss Spencer's addiction; my father asks after Dr. Reid's health often and with clear concern.
Sincerely, Aaron Hotchner
Dear Aaron,
-Spencer seems hell bent on apologizing, but then suddenly angry, probably his addiction. He talks about when "it" happened. They often write about when "it" happened, though "it" changes from time to time.
Yours, Spencer
Dear Spencer,
-I know from the dates which "it" refers to my parents' divorce, to the assault on my father—I had not realized the full extent of his injuries—my mother's death, he shared grim details with Spencer that I wish I had had the sense not to read.
Thank you, Aaron
My Dearest Aaron,
-My father beat a man to death with his hands, and he told dr. Spencer Reid in detail how it felt. And dr. Reid didn't respond with numbers, it may have been the first full letter in which there were no numbers, he responds with saying that nothing my father does will change his feelings. He responds by saying he knows he can't understand but he will never think less of my father. And he responds by ending a letter for the first time "with love".
With love Spencer
My Dearest Spencer,
-My father apologized to Spencer for a lie. I never found so much as a note as to what it was. Sometimes I believe they were indirect because of the nature of their work, sometimes because of the direction of their relationship, but mostly because they understood each other. There are many things over which my father felt guilt. He believed this lie changed not just their relationship but Spencer's life. Mine too I believe.
With my apologies and my love, Aaron
My Aaron,
-Spencer always thanked my father for "being there", when it happened, when the love of his life, he calls her that, it is utterly uncharacteristic of his writing, when the love of his life was murdered. Spencer Reid held onto my father in that time, and my father moved towards him.
My love, Spencer
My only S,
-I suspect in this letter my father had set out to end the relationship, and try and save the friendship. Beth is mentioned in the back ground in other correspondence, but never seems to be a point of contention between the two men, but then neither was Spencer's-Dr. Reid's that is-love, they were all taken in stride. But this letter is dated immediately before my father's marriage to Beth. It never worked with Beth. He wrote to Spencer about that also.
Forever, yours in love, A
Authors note:- Idk if this is done, or if some individual letters would add it? Comments?
Feedback is always appreciated! Oh, thank you all! And …..arg! Rewrite, holy F! how unclear could I be? Hopefully this is better. Thanks to everyone for the heads ups, and especially to Hisuiko for helping me understand my problems here. And thank you to everyone for the assumption that I am competent enough to write a sensible story—even in the face of this!