Pony Up
"Well this is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation." Cyborg complained as they walked through a barren desert somewhere in Nevada.
"Shut up." Raven said, holding her balled up robe under arm. "At least you aren't wearing all black clothing."
"Yeah I guess." Cyborg turned to Robin. "And at least I'm not the one who crashed the Ti-ship."
"Hey! It wouldn't have crashed if Beast Boy hadn't turned into a horse." Robin defended. "He threw the whole ship off balance and then we crashed into that rock formation."
"In my defense-" Beast boy raised his hand "I was only… horsing around!"
That comment immediately got him smacked in the back of the head and knocked to the ground by Raven.
"We're stuck in the middle of the desert you idiot, can you take this a little more seriously for once?"
As they were arguing a little brown and grey fox dashed out from behind a rock and ran away.
"Ooooh, a star fox." Starfire commented.
"No Star, that's just a regular fox."
"Oh."
The group continued to walk through the barren desert for what felt like hours but they didn't know for sure because the sun was so high and bright.
"Cyborg, don't you have any GPS or mapping technology you can use to figure out where we can go?" Robin asked.
"I can't risk using it, I'm using most of my systems to keep at a cool equilibrium; if I overheat in the middle of nowhere like this I could get seriously damaged before any of you got help."
"Fair enough."
Then, while they were walking they saw a herd of wild horses gallop in front of them. At least two dozen horses ran across the desert plain and that gave Beast Boy an idea.
"Dude! The horses." He exclaimed
"Yes Beast Boy, they're horses, amazing observation." Raven jeered.
"No dude, these are wild horses, which means they must know where there's some water to drink. I'm going to follow them."
"I don't really see how this is going to help us Beastie."
"Trust me, horses got us into this situation and now they're going to get us out. I'll be back."
Beast Boy started running after the horses and quickly turned into a green horse himself, seamlessly catching up and blending in with the herd as they rode off into the distance.
"Does he really expect us to wait here?" Robin asked.
"Indeed. Why would we wait here when Raven or I could easily fly and search for a town ourselves?"
Robin slammed his hand against his face in frustration. "Why didn't we think of that from the start?"
"I did." Raven said. "But it was too hot so I didn't want to."
Starfire floated up into the air to get a better view of the horizon and in the distance she could see a small rural town and while it wasn't huge it was probably their best bet of getting some help to go back home.
"I see something!" Starfire called out. "There is civilization that way."
"Isn't that the opposite direction Beast Boy was going in?" Raven asked.
They looked at the direction of the town Starfire was pointing and then back towards the direction where Beast Boy had taken off and couldn't see him anymore.
Cyborg just shrugged. "Pshh. I'm sure he's fine."
Meanwhile…
Beast Boy was prancing and playing with the other horses, having tons of fun and feeling good about not being judged for his actions. After a while the horses gathered at a small lake or similar body of water and started drinking.
"Just like I told them. He he."
Beast boy lowered his head and started drinking out of the pond with his new elongated horse tongue, lapping up the refreshing water before splashing some onto his mane and shaking his head.
"Ah, this is the life you guys; no judgements, no responsibilities, just running all day through the open field and drinking water with my new best pals."
The horses did not respond though, mostly because they were horses and incapable of human speech. Beast Boy stood in front of the pond waiting for everyone else to finish.
"Sure is quiet though."
In the distance he could hear more clopping of hooves and thought it was more horse friends, but as he turned around he saw a group of three men riding those horses with lassos in their hands. The rest of the wild horses saw this and started to scatter and Beast Boy stood there like an idiot before finally running for his life and safety.
These men on horseback were chasing and rounding up a few of the wild horses, catching them by the head with their lassos and pulling them away from the group. Soon enough Beast Boy was caught by one of these lassos to and he struggled to get away.
"Well well well, lookee what we got here boys."
"What is it Dale?"
"It's a goddamn green horse." Dale elaborated.
"I can see it's green, probably sicker than a dog."
"Nah Rocko, this son' bitch ran as fast as the rest of them, it's healthy and exotic."
"Well gosh damn I bet you this bad boy is gonna be mighty valuable to some people, I tell you what."
"Well said Jubal, now let's get him back to the ranch."
Beast Boy didn't like the sound of being sold and restrained so he pulled against the lasso and broke the rope before running off again.
"Lookie, the boy's a fighter." Dale reached into his saddle bag and pulled out a second rope. "Time for some extra security."
The three wranglers managed to catch up with Beast Boy quickly, almost absurdly quickly considering he had a head start, and then Dale threw the lasso again to catch Beast Boy's neck. What was different about this lasso was that as it got closer it seemed to open up automatically and then clench Beast Boy's horse body before glowing bright red and releasing an electric shock that messed with all of his nerve endings causing him to tumble onto the ground.
The lasso continued to shock Beast Boy for a few more seconds before it stopped and the sheer pain from it all caused him to lose consciousness and black out.
"Call all the boys." Dale said. "Tell them we got a special item for auction today."
Later…
The rest of the team were sitting in a little diner, eating pie and drinking water. The little town they walked into was Golden Valley and while it wasn't much it did have a mechanic where they could get parts to fix the T-ship and cool off from the absolutely horrid Nevada sun.
They paid for their meal and went to grab the engine parts, fuel, and pressure control parts from the mechanic shop and as they did a somewhat familiar man in a tall black hat walked into the store.
"Howdy Jessup."
"Dale!" The mechanic greeted. "What's your scrawny ass doing in this shop? You need new mirrors for your horse?"
"Nah, just business as usual." He was quick to notice the Titans who looked more than a little out of place in such a small rural community. "Who are these strangers?"
"Call themselves Titans, said they got a ship that crashed out in the desert and they need stuff to fix it."
"Oof, bad stroke of luck fellas but you all don't seem none the worse for wear. Good luck to you's. Jessup, mind if I talk to you in the back?"
Dale and Jessup went into a private room in the back of the mechanic shop, Cyborg started carrying all of the equipment outside but Robin stayed behind for a moment. Something about this Dale character struck him as odd and he was raised to always be suspicious of others.
Robin gestured to the others to hang back for a second as he snuck closer to the door to spy on their conversation.
"We're moving the auction up by a few hours." Dale said
"Why the sudden change? You in some kind of hurry?" Jessup asked.
"Nope, we just recently acquired a very rare and exotic item."
"Rarer than usual? Ooh this must be something special then."
"I don't know, you ever seen a green horse before?"
The rest of the Titans who heard this groaned internally.
"He didn't…" Robin said out loud.
"Green? Like some kinda nuclear genetic freak you always read about in comics and such?"
"Nah, this boy is legit; he almost ran faster than our gunmetal horses and you know how fast they are. Plus he's built pretty strong so I'd say he could raise a whole generation of super-fast super strong stallions."
Jessup whistles. "Alright then, you got me intrigued. The usual spot then?"
"Yep. Don't be late now."
The two men walked to the office door and attempted to open it, thankfully before they could the rest of the titans snuck out through the garage door like nothing had happened.
"They have captured Beast Boy. What should we do?" Starfire asked.
"If he was stupid enough to get caught they can't be that dangerous." Raven offered.
"But they're still holding him so they might be." Robin said.
Raven sighed. "Fine."
"We don't know where this meeting place is though, we should probably track them and see where they go."
"Or we can stay ahead of the game." Cyborg offered, holding up his arm and showing a mini map of the area. "If they're holding animals they're going to need a lot of space to store them, and if they're doing it constantly it's probably a permanent structure most likely on the outside of town so none else gets involved. So all I have to do is a quick scan and…"
The device on Cyborgs wrist beeps before a red dot points somewhere.
"Bingo. An abandoned meat packing plant outside of town, seems like the best place to start."
"Titans, let's go."
Later…
The group snuck around to the back of the plant which was originally named "Rise and Garden" but several of the letters fell off such as the R in Rise, the d in and, and the en in Garden. After observing things from a distance it's clear this packing plant wasn't as abandoned as advertised. There were guards posted outside overseeing deliveries made by several trucks, the items were in crates so the team didn't know exactly what it was but they had a solid idea.
"Let's move."
When the last truck drove away the team moved in, Robin rolled a smoke bomb onto the ground and it created a cloud that choked the guards before they were punched and knocked out by Cyborg and Robin. They entered the plant and saw no evidence that it had been used recently.
"Where did all those crates go?" Starfire asked.
Cyborg examined a freezer and felt a breeze coming from behind it, using his strength he pulled on it and saw that it pivoted outward to reveal a secret passage and staircase leading downward.
"I think I have an idea."
The rest of the team followed this staircase down into the sub-basement, at the end they reached two huge locked steel doors.
"Stand back." Raven said as she raised her arms and her eyes filled with dark energy. The doors were ripped from their hinges and then crumpled up like balls of paper before being dropped back onto the ground.
"Alright, now let's find Beast Boy and see if we can free the rest of the horses they have here."
Raven floated forward and got a good first look at what they were dealing with. "I think we have more than horses to deal with."
When the rest of the group walked forward they saw what Raven had meant, when Dale was talking about an exotic animal auction he really meant exotic. There weren't just horses here, there were jungle cats like panthers and lions and well as rhinos, bears, and lemurs.
"It's like a zoo." Starfire said.
"A zoo that goes to the highest bidder. Selling endangered animals out of their natural habitat and exploiting them for profits, this just got personal." Robin declared.
"We'll take care of this later, let's find BB first."
The group looked through the animal cages until they made it to the horse section, they saw several normal looking mares and stallions but no Beast Boy and they had no idea where he could have gone.
"Load them up!"
The titans heard a yell coming from down a hallway, they turned a corner and saw several animals in cages being put on an elevator and raised up to what looked like a main stage.
"We're too late!" Starfire said.
"Too late to get him before the auction." Robin said as he smacked his fist against his open palm "Now the real fun begins."
At the auction…
At least two dozen men from cow folk to business men and bald men with eyepatches were gathered around for this special auction.
"Good evening gentleman!" Dale greeted. "I do hope you're excited and brought plenty of money because it's time for us to have another delightful exotic animal auction for your pleasure. We'll start off with our first and most recent acquisition."
Dale raised his arm and two guards brought Beast Boy forward, he was standing up but bound in the same glowing electric rope that paralyzed him in the first place.
"An entirely unique item for today's auction, we have a rare breed of green horse that is faster and stronger than any wild stallion I've ever seen. Guaranteed to win most any race and raise dozens of strong and healthy young. We will start this bidding at $500,000 dollars, do I hear $500,000?"
Several arms went up and people started making bids.
"$500,000!"
"A million!"
"Two million!"
"Twenty five-"
No one knew where that voice came from until the floor under the stage exploded and from that hole emerged the Teen Titans ready to fight.
"Years to life." Robin finished his quip.
"Better start switching to Animal Planet folks, because you're in for a serious beat down!" Cyborg exclaimed.
Once everyone got over the shock of the explosion they acted, many of them pulled out guns and laser weapons and started firing on the super heroes. Cyborg and Starfire started firing sonic blasts and plasma bolts while Raven used dark magic to create several shadow tendrils which threw people around like rag dolls.
While all this was going on Robin was leaping and kicking his way over to the animals near the stage to make sure none of them were hurt in the explosion and to get Beast Boy out of his bonds. He used his birderangs to cut the electric rope and free Beast Boy and once he was free he immediately turned back to his human form.
"I'm really glad to see you guys."
"You're welcome. Talk later."
Robin back flipped back into the fight and Beast Boy turned into a gorilla, beating his chest and jumping on several people.
Dale climbed out of the hole he fell into when the explosion occurred, seeing his entire operation crumble around him he became enraged.
"Damn it all! I will not let some hinky dinky city boys ruin everything I worked so hard for." He whistled and his horse came from outside and charged through the crowd. It jumped over several of the titans and made it to the hole where Dale quickly climbed up on top of it.
"Are you ready for some serious horsepower?"
As he did this two other horses joined him, the ones ridden by Rocko and Jubal. When the horses gathered together their eyes began to glow red and their skin peeled away to reveal that these were mechanical horses.
"What?" Cyborg exclaimed, befuddled.
Then the horses started to whir and click as their limbs started sliding and changing and the three horses leapt into the air.
"What!?" Cyborg exclaimed again, more in disbelief.
And finally the horses began to unfold and form together into one bipedal horse themed mech with Dale riding in the head.
"WHAT?!"
"Prepare to face the mighty Pulverizing Offensive Neutralizer Mk. III (PON3)!"
The team is shocked by the appearance of this forty foot mech as it unleashed two Gatling guns from its shoulders and started firing into the crowd. The titans did their best to dodge and put up shields to protect themselves.
Beast Boy as a gorilla started beating and ripping at the mech's legs but it didn't seem to do much damaged as he was kicked away and joined his friends.
"This guy is nuts!" Beast boy said, hiding behind Raven's shield of darkness along with the rest of the group.
"We need to take those guns out before we can get to him." Robin said.
"And the rest of him?" Cyborg asked.
Beast Boy looked at the mech and he had an idea.
"I know exactly what to do." He said.
"Beast Boy now's not the time for-"
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Cyborg, wild west showdown."
"Wild west showdown?"
"Wild west showdown."
"Alright, I think I get what you're saying. Let's do it."
The Titans made their move. Raven put her shield down and for a split second Dale stopped firing his guns, it was just long enough for Starfire and Robin to jump out and throw a plasma bolt and exploding birderang at the guns which disabled them. Then out from behind covered Beast Boy was in his horse form again with Cyborg on his back, he started rushing towards the big mech and using a ramp created by Raven they rose up higher and higher until Beast Boy leapt off right towards the mech's cockpit and Cyborg fired a supercharged cannon blast directly at the mech's head.
The blast caused an explosion that the horse and rider sailed through before landing on the ground. The mech collapsed behind them and exploded in a great ball of fire.
Once it did Cyborg raised his cannon and loudly exclaimed "BOOYAH!"
With the battle over and all of the bad guys either fled or incapacitated, the group fished Dale out of the mech and awaited the arrival of Special Forces to arrest everybody and get all of the animals back to where they belong.
As the group waited for everything to be resolved they looked at Beast Boy who was still a horse and still has Cyborg on his back.
"Well Beastie, you put us through a lot today but you also helped take down an illegal animal smuggling ring so… I'd say those things even out." Robin said.
Cyborg petted Beast Boy's mane. "That's right, good pony, you want a carrot?"
"Oh ha ha Cy, very funny, now get off me you're very heavy."
Beast Boy neighed and raised his fore legs before trying to buck Cyborg off with his back legs, eventually it turned into something like a rodeo show and the rest of the team watched in enjoyment as their detour in the desert had finally drawn to a close.