Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Yu-Gi-Oh apart from a few duel monster cards and a rather unhealthy obsession. My cards aren't even all that great… the obsession is debatable.
Full Summary: Ryou is both desperate to hide his feelings, yet hopeful that Bakura cares for him too. In doing so he attaches himself to the one idea that may just work. Too bad… it doesn't.
Pairing List: Bakura/Ryou with some light Ryou/Jou, a little hint of Jou/Seto and the barest subtext of Atem(Yami)/Yugi.
Beta: Unavailable at the moment.
A/N: I have a few Yu-Gi-Oh story ideas and am even writing a chaptered one during my few moments of spare time, but since I don't like to post things until they're completed it does take a while for me to feel inclined to put it on the net. However, I got this light idea and decided that I might as well have a bit of fun with it and put my name up in the Yu-Gi-Oh fandom.
This story is a pretty average length for my works and I'm still in a state of uncertainty in regards to my own opinion of it. I don't know, it might just be because I'm slightly insecure about the fandom and the characters since I haven't seen the anime in years, but it also might just be weird. Heh.
Either way, I apologise in advance if anything seems a bit out of character or strange. Please point it out if you notice something like that. Thank you.
Trying for You
Ryou was gazing at the teacher without really seeing her. His chin was propped up on his hand and the sounds of the classroom had long since faded into the background. Ryou still found it strange that he didn't have to worry about someone else hearing his thoughts anymore - unless he wore his duplicate of the millennium ring.
Bakura and Atem had received their bodies five months ago, and Ryou still didn't know how Bakura had managed to convince Atem - let alone the Gods judging them - to allow him to come back as well. The biggest surprise was that their shadow powers and the millennium items were still accessible; everyone had thought that would be one of the first things to go. Bakura was the only one who seemed particularly thrilled by the revelation - even Malik had looked glum at being able to keep the millennium rod.
The two Egyptian spirits had also been brought back in the form of their original bodies - and really, that was where the whole problem started for Ryou. Bakura looked so… different. He was tanned and thanks to the fact he rarely every wore a shirt indoors; Ryou knew just how muscled and athletic he looked. Ryou's hormones and emotions had been running wild for the first two months the other had been separate from him. He'd managed to keep his developing feelings hidden from his darker half, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could do it.
Bakura had known almost instantly that something was on his mind, but he didn't care enough to pry. It was only in the last week that Yugi and the others had started to notice, and while they hadn't hit the nail completely on the head, they had landed pretty close. They thought he liked a girl at school.
He had been both relieved and horrified at the assumption, but - unfortunately - only the horror had shown and the group had taken it for embarrassment, teasing him and trying to find out the girl's name. The only people who hadn't joined in on it were Bakura and Jou.
Ryou had been expecting Bakura's indifference, and he had forced away any acknowledgment of the pain it caused by focusing on Jou's reaction. Jou had been awkward when he'd finally confronted the other, but the blonde had grudgingly admitted that he knew what it was like to crush on someone and he wasn't going to give him a hard time for it. Returning the favour, Ryou hadn't asked for a name and had let the subject drop, happy that at least one person was on his side.
It had been a little over a week since the group had started pestering him and they were still going strong. Every time he was quiet for more than ten seconds, a jab at his mystery woman was voiced. Jou had been helping to defuse the situations whenever they popped up over the last few days - even going so far as to become the centre of a joke - but it wasn't enough. Ryou knew that sooner or later they'd figure out it was a guy, and soon after, that it was Bakura.
He knew he should let it go, give up and find someone else who would actually date him, but he couldn't, not until he knew if Bakura could or would ever feel anything for him. Ryou just didn't know how to find out. After all, what exactly did you do to make an emotionless, closed off tomb-robber from Ancient Egypt admit what he felt about you?
That was the question Ryou had been puzzling over for almost half of his school day. He didn't have much so far apart from going over and asking the only other resident Ancient Egyptian what he thought would work. Ryou sighed. He doubted it would do any good though; Bakura would just get mad that he was giving The Pharaoh any sort of attention. He was possessive like that.
Ryou suddenly straightened, his eyes widening as they refocused on his surroundings. Would it actually work? Could he honestly make Bakura jealous by dating someone else? He may have shown indifference so far, but that was when it was just a joke. Ryou knew Bakura had always been the first to push people away from Ryou… so, why not now? It would work perfectly if he could pull it off. Everyone would think that person he was dating was the one he desired, and Bakura would react to it in a way that would determine just how he felt for Ryou. The light would have his answer - because Bakura was never subtle - and he could either move on from his darker half or set his sights on finding a way to approach Bakura about his feelings.
The start of smile started to form on Ryou's face at the idea, but then it suddenly died. Who could he ask? There wasn't a single person he would ever lead on by making them think they had a future if it wasn't his true intention. So who could he ask? The only person who could plausibly participate was…
"Jou," He murmured.
The blond in question who was a row in front and one desk to the left looked up at the sound of his name, turning his head around rapidly - looking for the source. Ryou waved a little sheepishly when the other glanced his way and Jou grinned, tilting his head slightly in question. He looked a lot like the dog he was so frequently described as and Ryou had to hold back a smile at the similarity.
Making a few, quick gestures between them; he indicated that he wanted to talk with the other. Jou nodded and smiled again before turning his attention back to his desk when the teacher gave the room a quick glance over; looking for anyone who may be talking. Ryou just smiled at her sweetly, and she looked back at the board, reassured by his innocent features. Ryou smile turned amused and slightly devious as he glanced at Jou once again. Hopefully the participation of the blonde wouldn't take too long to achieve.
-break-
When the bell rang to symbolise the end of the day, students rushed out of the room almost barrelling each other over as they talked excitedly about the weekend. Ryou just stayed in his seat, slowly packing up his things. He absently heard Jou saying he'd wait up for Ryou and told the others to go ahead. Ryou kept silent, only looking up to offer the group a small smile as they said goodbye.
When the room was empty, Jou came over to him and pulled the chair out from the desk in front of Ryou. He straddled it and grinned. "What can I do for ya, Ryou?"
Ryou linked his fingers and rested his elbows on the desk in front of him. He slowly began; having planned most of what he'd say during the last few minutes of their class. "You're the only person who hasn't given me a hard time about the person I'm in love with, so I'm going to tell you who they are and also ask for a favour." He paused briefly before adding, "I'd also appreciate it if the things we discussed stayed between us."
Jou's joking manner had dropped and his face had become serious during Ryou's reply. "You've got my word, Ryou. I ain't going to tell anyone."
Giving the other a small smile, Ryou hesitated only for a moment before diving right in. "I'm in love with Bakura." Jou's eyes almost bugged out of his head as he stared at Ryou. The white-haired teen shifted uncomfortably. "I know it probably sounds strange considering everything in our history but…" Ryou bit his bottom lip. "I just… its how I feel."
He looked back up at Jou from where his eyes had fallen to his desk, his fingers playing nervously with the edge of one of his notebooks. Jou was studying him. He had the same concentration he only seemed to show when he was duelling.
"It kind of makes sense." This time it was Ryou's turn to be surprised. Jou just shrugged a little, smiling slightly. "You're not the only guy I know with another half."
"You… you mean? Yugi and…?"
Jou looked uncomfortably as a faint blush dusted his cheeks. "One of 'em does. Sort of. I kinda found out by mistake."
Ryou decided not to pry and instead, he focused back on his own problem. "Do you think you could help me with something now that you know?"
"It better not be asking Bakura what he thinks about you. I like you, Ryou, but not enough to go up against that."
Ryou couldn't help chuckling a little at that as he shook his head. "No, it's not that." Jou started to look relieved, but Ryou's next words quickly had a look of slight panic replacing it. "I was actually hoping that you would date me."
"Did the whole world just go nuts without me noticing?" He questioned, looking around as if he expected Bakura to jump out and knife him on the spot.
Ryou patiently explained his theory. "Right now everyone thinks I like someone, if they think it's you then they'll get off my back about it and no one will suspect it's really Bakura. It will also let me see what Bakura feels by how he reacts to the news."
Blinking slowly, Jou looked at Ryou with incredulity. "So let me see if I got this right. You want me to pretend to go out with you so Bakura won't know you got the hots for him but also to see if he has the hots for you?"
"Yes," Ryou agreed.
"Right. Let me just point out that this is a sadistic, psychotic, over-protective, ancient tomb-robber, with shadow powers that we're talking about."
Ryou rubbed the back of his head a little sheepishly. "He's not that bad anymore. He shouldn't hurt you."
"Ryou, I'd be dead before I finished the word 'boyfriend'."
"No, you wouldn't," Ryou answered with a slight frown. "He might threaten you a bit, but he'd know anything happening to you would mean the end of his existence courtesy of Atem."
"That ain't making me feel much better."
Ryou sighed dejectedly. "He probably won't even care, Jou. It'll just mean he has to spend less time with me."
"Ryou-" Jou started quietly but Ryou cut him off, shoving back the misery the thought provoked as he stared at his hands on the desk, trying to make it easier and more appealing to Jou.
"You wouldn't have to do more than hold my hand. We could break up before anything else is supposed to happen."
"Ryou-" Jou tried again, more forcefully, but Ryou was barely listening. He could feel his chances crumbling around him. He wouldn't know how Bakura felt. He'd be trapped in this limbo of uncertainty and heartache forever.
Ryou knew he was probably looking and sounding desperate, but he didn't care. "I'll even pay you if you-"
"I ain't taking money!" Jou shouted, looking affronted at the suggestion. "It's one thing to help a friend, but I ain't walking the line of prostitution." A large, embarrassed blush heated up Ryou's cheeks and he apologised quickly and profusely. Jou's anger seemed to drain away and he ran a hand awkwardly through his hair. "I don't think this is a good idea, and I probably ain't the best person for the job."
Ryou looked up at him with surprise. "What are you talking about? You're the only person in the group who has some understanding of what's going on, and about what it's like to not have the person you want." Jou looked uncomfortable there, but Ryou pushed on, stating the other reason he thought Jou would be a good choice. "Besides, you're the only person besides Atem who would ever - and has - stood up to him."
"Stood up to him!?" Jou looked horrified. "I don't stand up to him! I just fight back when he's trying to kill me! There's a big difference right there. It's also something I don't want to experience ever again."
"Jou," Ryou said imploringly. "I'm not going to force you to do this, but, you have to understand. If Bakura finds out I love him and he doesn't feel the same way I-"
He shut his mouth, not wanting to say the truth out loud. He knew Bakura wouldn't physically hurt him, but he would probably use it to his advantage, breaking Ryou's heart repeatedly in the process. Then again, if he was lucky - if you could even call it that - he'd just ignore Ryou and possibly even move out of their house.
"Sh-it." Jou suddenly said, making Ryou look up at him. Jou looked guilty and it instantly made Ryou feel like he'd said too much and forced Jou into it.
"Jou, you really don't have to-"
"Shuddup." He said with a weary sigh. "I'll date ya." He pointed his finger at Ryou's chest, "but Kaiba doesn't find out about this."
Ryou looked at Jou for a few confused moments before it dawned on him. "Oh."
"Yeah, yeah, we both got bad taste." He grumbled, while standing up. "Now come on, we better go tell 'em the news."
Copying the other's movement, Ryou put the last few things in his bag while asking absently, a hint of worry in his voice. "What do you think they'll say? Do they know you like guys? Do you think they'll mind?"
Jou snorted as they began walking out of the classroom. "Out of all the things to worry about, you got that one?" He shook his head, a small grin on his face. "You have seen Atem, right? The outfit fetish before he got his own body wasn't keeping any secrets."
Unable to help it, Ryou laughed, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. Jou was right; their friends wouldn't care if they were gay - or bisexual, as Ryou believed the case was with Jou.
No, the main problem was Bakura, and he knew it was stressing Jou, so he tried to crack a few jokes to help the other relax. It seemed to help as their conversation stayed light on the way out of school, but Ryou knew that they were both still wondering the same thing behind it all. Just how was his dark going to react to this fake relationship?
Swallowing, Ryou was starting to think this was a bad idea.
-break-
They reached the Kame Game shop faster than they wanted to and they hesitated outside the door. They knew everyone was already there and that it would be the best time to "come out" and set their plan in motion, but they were still hesitating just the same.
"Think I got time to go home and write my will?" Jou asked, only half joking.
Ryou sighed loudly. "This is a bad idea. We should just forget it."
"What're you talking about?" Jou frowned down at Ryou. "I said we'd do it, so we're going to do it. He's got to figure out you'll date someone sooner or later, right? So I'll be the first guy to test his reaction - and hey, at least I'll be ready for a 'Man-Eater Bug' comin' my way."
"I'm sorry I dragged you into this," Ryou answered quietly, ignoring what Jou had said, "I don't know what I was thinking."
Jou wrapped an arm around the hikari's shoulders. "Don't worry about it. I agreed to help ya. That's what friends do." He grinned. "Boyfriends do something better too," he waggled his eyebrows, "but we'll get to that later."
Ryou rolled his eyes and shoved Jou lightly. "Very funny."
"I thought so." He agreed before he started pulling Ryou towards the game shop. "Now let's go see how long we can fool 'em for."
Letting himself be moved, Ryou darted his eyes between the front door and Jou's face. The other was masking it well, but he knew Jou was probably as nervous as he was. Jou was undoubtedly scared that Bakura would rip him limb from limb, and Ryou understood that, but he didn't think Bakura would be that rash - especially in front of Atem. What Ryou was anxious about was the complete opposite. He was worried Bakura wouldn't even care. Ryou knew it was the reaction he should expect, and regardless of how much preparation he tried to have; he knew it would break his heart.
He wasn't sure if he could do this.
"Cross your fingers," Jou suddenly said, making Ryou panic slightly, but he barely gave Ryou enough time to breath before he was pushing open the door and making his way through the store. He waved at Yugi's grandfather who was behind the front counter. Sugoroku nodded his head at them both, but Ryou was unable to even wave or offer a greeting before he was through the door, down the hallway and in the living room of Yugi's house.
The whole group was there, and Ryou's eyes instantly found a bored Bakura lying sideways across an armchair, staring at the ceiling. His hand was twitching occasionally and Ryou knew if they'd been at home, Bakura would have been twirling a dagger in his hand.
"Hey guys!" Jou greeted the room excitedly. Bakura didn't move but the other's all responded with enthusiasm.
Ryou gave the room a small nod and smile, and noticed Honda was giving the arm around his shoulders a curious look, but he didn't comment, just offering that they sit down. It was only when Jou pulled Ryou with him and sat down with the hikari practically plastered to his side that the rest of the room started to take a bit more notice.
Unable to help it, Ryou flushed a little at the curious looks, but no one seemed to find it important enough to mention. Jou was usually affectionate, even if Ryou wasn't.
"What kept you guys?" Honda questioned.
Ryou glanced at Jou, but the other barely looked down to grin at him before he focused back on Honda. "Talkin'. Ryou was a bit lost in his head at first."
Flushing once again, Ryou almost wanted to hit Jou especially when Honda perked up, his smile turning mischievous. "Thinking about that girl of yours?"
Ryou knew Jou was setting him up for a confession, and he almost wanted to be mad but he was just too nervous. He knew Jou was the same; his fingers kept clenching and unclenching Ryou's shoulder, and he could see the blonde's eyes flicking almost every few seconds to glance at Bakura.
That was the other reason why he couldn't be angry. Jou didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, because if Bakura was going to shoot the messenger, at least he'd hesitate before pulling the trigger on Ryou.
Taking a deep breath, he answered quietly, his eyes downcast, "No, because I have a boyfriend."
There was a few moments silence, before a deadly growl came from their left. "What?"
Ryou snapped his head to the side, already knowing who it was. Bakura eyes were narrowed and he was now sitting up in the armchair, his gaze boring into Ryou's. The room became completely still and quiet. Ryou would also swear that the temperature had drop to freezing point. Bakura was livid.
The few moments it had taken for Ryou to observe this and widen his eyes, was apparently too long for Bakura as he was suddenly on his feet and stalking towards Ryou. It was only when Bakura was standing above him and glaring down that Ryou realised Jou's hand wasn't on his shoulder anymore. He didn't blame Jou, Ryou wanted to be in a different country himself.
"Explain yourself, hikari. Now."
"I-I have a b-boyfriend?" It came out a fearful squeak.
Bakura tightened his jaw before he focused on a point beyond Ryou, and the hikari was stunned to realise Bakura was trying to control his temper. It took almost a minute of tense silence before he questioned lowly, his eyes locked on Ryou's. "Who?"
"U-Um," Ryou couldn't break the gaze to look at Jou, to ask him what he wanted to do. For all Ryou knew, Jou wanted to back out - hell, Ryou wanted to back out right now. He didn't know Bakura would get this mad. It was like each of their worst nightmares combined.
"Ryou!" Bakura snapped out, and the millennium ring glinted dangerously.
"I'm going out with Jou!" He suddenly blurted before a hand flew to his mouth to cover it as he turned his head to look at the blonde with horror. Jou looked ready to pass out or possibly have a heart attack as the anger of the thief was swiftly directed at him.
A snarl escaped Bakura and Ryou knew this whole idea wasn't worth it. He hadn't seen the other act like this since before he got his body. Ryou had never wanted to put Jou in danger or to anger Bakura this much, but before Ryou could open his mouth to apologise, to take it back - anything to make Bakura stop acting like this. Bakura was walking out of the room without a word and Ryou couldn't stop himself from staring after him.
Moments later the door to the front of the shop slammed closed and Ryou flinched. He felt like his whole world had just fallen apart, and he had no idea how he could possibly begin to fix it.
-break-
The silence in the game shop lasted for almost five minutes before Honda hesitantly broke it, "Um. I didn't mean to do that."
Ryou covered his face with his hands, but he still heard Jou mumble out, "It wasn't your fault."
Oh God. "I have to go," Ryou said hurriedly, quickly getting to his feet and hastening to follow after Bakura.
He was stopped as Atem darted up and grabbed his wrist. "Are your sure that's wise? Bakura doesn't look his most… reasonable at the moment."
Ryou shook his head, trying to pull his arm free - his eyes still looking at the front door. "You don't understand. If he - I can't let him go like this. He's so mad. I don't even know why but I have to fix it."
"You… don't know why he's mad?" Atem asked, sounding somewhat stunned.
Ryou rounded on him. "You know?"
Shifting a little uncomfortably, Atem shook his head slowly. "Not exactly…" he sighed. "I suppose it'll be best if you talk with him yourself." He nodded towards Jou. "I suggest waiting a few days before going out publicly with Jou though."
"Screw that," Jou spoke up, eyes wide. "Ryou, I said I'd help you, but after that, I ain't even hugging you until next month."
Ryou pulled his eyes away from the door to give Jou a small smile, strained as it was. "I know. Thanks, Jou."
"Wait. What's going on?" Honda demanded, looking between Ryou and Jou with confused eyes.
Ryou looked torn as he glanced between his friends and the door. Atem smiled and patted his shoulder, letting Ryou's wrist go. "I think we'll only need one of you to explain."
Not even bothering to say thank you, Ryou was out the door and sprinting towards their house, sure that was the direction Bakura would have gone if he was in a foul mood. He'd need his daggers if he was going to vent out his frustration, and even if Ryou was wrong, he'd have to show up there eventually.
Ryou had barely made it to the end of the street when he turned the corner and spotted his dark, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans and enough anger radiating off him to have people hesitating to walk on the opposite side of the street.
"Bakura!" Ryou called, and even with the distance between them, he saw his darker half's shoulders tense moments before he spun around and started stalking towards Ryou.
Eyes widening, Ryou felt like he's just tugged on a lion's tail only to now be faced with it's teeth. He started to back-pedal, turning sharply and trying to run back the way he had came. He barely got two steps before he had a hand clenching the back of his shirt and yanking him backwards. Ryou lost his footing, but before he could collide with anything, Bakura was using his momentum to spin him around and then shove him up against the wall of the building. Bakura's hand was now clenched tightly around his shoulder.
"Hikari," Bakura practically growled.
Resisting a whimper, Ryou looked up at the other with no small amount of fear. He saw it register on Bakura's face, but the other didn't react other than to loosen his hold slightly. Ryou didn't know how long they stayed staring at each other, but all too soon Bakura scowled and with the faintest pull deep inside, Ryou felt a light touch of shadow magic. With a start, Ryou looked down to find his copy of the millennium ring around his neck. He's going to read my thoughts.
Panicking, Ryou didn't even think other than to start struggling and trying to break out of Bakura's hold. A growl of warning resonated from Bakura's throat, but Ryou completely ignored it; desperate to get free and keep Bakura from knowing everything. He couldn't learn about his feelings, not yet, not now.
Ryou tried to block his mind even as he was keeping up his frantic movements, his arms trying to push and punch Bakura away, but Bakura - almost effortlessly - grabbed his arms and pinned them to his sides. His body pushed forward then, using his chest to pin Ryou as he caught his light's gaze; curiosity, amusement and the barest hint of a threat in his eyes. "What are you hiding, yadonushi?"
"N-Nothing," Ryou tried helplessly.
He shouldn't have said anything. He should have never asked Jou. He could never win against his dark; he should have known it by now. He shouldn't have been so stupid, stupid, stupid.
He felt Bakura probing into his mind, and once again he tried to struggle, but the warning pain of Bakura's nails digging into his skin made him sag. He knew if he kept struggling Bakura would rip through his mind. He'd done it before, and it had taken Ryou months to repair - and the pain, the pain had been so horrible, like knives ripping through his soul.
Images soon began to flash through his mind and with it came his thoughts, his memories, everything from today back until when Bakura had first appeared in his new body. Ryou's eyes slipped closed as his feelings of shame, embarrassment and fear began to surface inside his mind, open for Bakura to read.
His dark quickly pulled out and Ryou could feel him analysing his face as Ryou tried to put his mind in some order, using it as an excuse to not look at his dark and prolong the inevitable.
"You were trying to make me jealous?" The disbelieving tone of Bakura's voice had Ryou chancing a glance at him.
Bakura looked exactly as his tone suggested. His eyebrows were knitted together and his mouth was in a thin, confused line.
"Y-Yes?" Ryou tried hesitantly, even when he knew Bakura had all the evidence he needed.
Bakura gave an annoyed sigh and pulled away from him. "You're a fucking idiot, hikari."
Ryou flinched at both the words and the light connection of knuckles to the side of his head. He opened his eyes however, when he felt the barest tug of fingers through his hair. Bakura's face wasn't affectionate, but it did look slightly pleased. Ryou weighed his odds before cautiously asking, "Y-You're not mad?"
The look was gone and the hand was back in his shirt, yanking him along. "Oh hikari, don't think I'm not furious at you for attempting something like this." He glanced at Ryou, a slight upturn of his lips that showed one sharp canine, "I'm just going to show it to you in a… private setting."
Ryou's eyes widened and he stuttered out something that wasn't even intelligible to him. Bakura's smirk widened; gaining an almost sadistic edge and Ryou heard Bakura's words whispered in the back of his mind, sounding like a pleased purr.
I didn't even have to duel that mutt to prove you are mine.
Ryou flushed darkly, making Bakura laugh. Ryou wasn't sure if it was just in his head, or if the whole street heard, but when Bakura decided kissing him was a good way to further prove his point, Ryou decided the world could've had an apocalypse on the spot and he wouldn't have even cared.
He had other things to worry about, and he'd be damned if he was going to miss out on them.
A/N: Once again, my opinion on this is not only biased but uncertain, so reviews would be much appreciated when looking over if they're in character and how the story flows. I'll admit, the plot kept getting re-written and chopped up as I kept thinking it was either too cliché or just plain annoying. I would have scraped the whole thing if I didn't have the desperate urge to post something in this fandom. I guess it comes from my insecurity that my chapter story isn't any good, but eh. Everyone posts a couple of flops here and there. Here's hoping this one doesn't splatter too badly.
Also, constructive criticism is my friend; don't feel like you can't tell me if you think something sucks. I may rebut though, if I disagree. I can't help it. Heh.
Thanks in advance.