Ryan Atwood had never cried before this. He was always the strong one because he could keep his emotions in control. Whenever his mom was drunk or someone had tried to harm one of his friends, rage was the only emotion that ever took hold of him. It was never sadness. But now, as he stood staring out the pool house window at the bright summer day before him, he realized how much she had meant to him and knew why she was the one who finally made him cry. He had loved her, truly and fully, and no one would ever take her place.

A police car
Was outside your house today
I haven't seen you in a couple of days
They knocked on your door
And then they went away
Your mother looked scared
But she didn't cry
She didn't cry

Julie Cooper hadn't said anything when Ryan rode up to Summer's house in the police car to tell her that her daughter had died in a car crash. Worst of all, her body had been stolen after Ryan went to chase after an ambulance that he heard from a distance. There were no tears from her because Julie was just like him. She hated him, but in that moment, they knew they were the same person. Marissa had left them and no one was ever going to take her place.

On one hand I've got myself to blame
But on the other it's always the same

Follow suit, shake your head
Tell me that is a lie
I don't want you to death
But I want you to die
Without a good friend
On a sunshine
I know I want survival
But you don't know why

Ryan had known that one breath had been Marissa's last. As he held her in his arms, he tried to whisper that he loved her, to revive her, but it was too late. She was gone. And now he was lost. He blamed himself for not doing something more to save her, but deep down, he knew there was nothing he could have done. His conscience constantly nagged him, telling him he could have, no, that he SHOULD have saved her! So, why didn't he? What else could he have done?

Where is she
Where is she
Where is my baby girl?
I've seen you
You're crazy
What have you done with my whole wide world?

On one hand I've got myself to blame
But on the other it's always the same thing

He turned around. He couldn't stare at that beautiful day anymore, knowing that there were girls laughing on the beach, and that one of those girls wasn't Marissa. He couldn't stand knowing that there were boys at the pier holding their girlfriends tight, and that one of those boys wasn't him. Ryan turned around and saw a mirror. Inside, he saw Volchok. The rage inside him grew so quickly that there was nothing Ryan could do to stop it. He ran toward the mirror and smashed it, screaming in anger and pain as the glass shattered all around him. Volchok hadn't been there, but he was always in Ryan's mind and he would never leave.

Follow suit, shake your head
Tell me that is a lie
I don't want you death
But I want you to die
Without a good friend
On a bad day
Without a soft surrender
Now what do you say

All of these tears that we've cried
All of these tears that we've cried

There had been a memorial service a few days ago, but Ryan hadn't attended. No one had spoken to him in days, but he didn't want to speak to them anyway. Marissa had left him without so much as a goodbye or an "I love you"! He knew this wasn't her fault, but he couldn't even stop himself from blaming her. He had watched the Cohens and Summer through the window the evening after the funeral. Summer was bawling constantly. She had lost her best friend. Ryan had lost his true love. That day had been more than a bad day. It had been the only day in Ryan's life that he had ever genuinely thought about committing suicide, just so he could be with her again. Just so he wouldn't cry anymore.

Where is she
Where is she
Where is my baby girl?
I've seen you
And you're crazy
What have you done with my whole wide world?

"I'm so sorry, Marissa."

He whispered these words as he sunk on to the bed, his head in his hands. There was nothing else to say. She was gone and he couldn't even say goodbye to her or ever visit her grave because she was never going to be there. He knew that Volchok had taken the body, just so he wouldn't have been charged with murder. This made Ryan hate him even more. He had taken away everything that Ryan had ever wanted in just a matter of minutes.

Where is she
Where is she
Where is my baby girl?
I've seen you
And you're crazy
What have you done with my whole wide world?
What have you done with my whole wide world?
What have you done ...?

She had been everything to him. And now, he felt like nothing.

"Dammit Kevin, she won't wake up!"

"Well, I can't get back there right now, Heather! I'm kind of busy"

"What do we do if she's dead? How are we going to cover up a murder?"

The tires of Kevin Volchok's van screeched as he stomped on the brakes and turned into a ditch on the side of the road. He threw open the driver's door and slid the side door so that it clanged. Heather looked nervous and afraid as he took Marissa Cooper's body from her lap. He shook her and screamed:

"Wake up, princess! You're not in your fairy tale anymore!"

No luck. She was out cold and he grew even more enraged.

"Marissa, if you don't wake up, you'll never see Ryan again!"

Ryan. The name instantly stirred something in her heart and her eyes fluttered open to see the vicious face of Volchok staring straight back at her. She screamed and hit the cold concrete, wincing in pain and weakness. He smiled evilly.

"Good. You're awake. Do you remember what happened?"

She thought for a second. The crash came back in bits and pieces and she remembered Ryan holding her in his arms. But how had the crash started? She looked at him, she looked at the van with Heather inside, and suddenly it all came together. Volchok had almost killed her, and now, he had taken her hostage.

"Take me home."

"What's that, sweetie?"

"Take me home. NOW. No more games. No more kidnapping. Take me back."

"See, I would, but I don't want you running off and telling everybody what a bad person I am and charging me with attempted murder and things like that. So, that's why I've decided you're coming with me and Heather to Mexico. Get in the van."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"Maybe you'll understand this better. Hell. No."

He brought his hand up and slapped Marissa across the face. She stumbled again, but this time, fell into the van.

"Watch your legs, angel."

He slammed the door and got back around to the driver's seat. Marissa had nothing to do now, except dream.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

The sun was just beginning to rise as she saw the sign welcoming them to Mexico. She cried silently, knowing that she hadn't said that she loved Ryan before they had parted. And now, he probably believed that she was dead because he had no reason not to. They had been doomed from the start, but she always believed they could make it. They were star-crossed lovers who, against all odds, had kept that love alive.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there

Right now, things looked pretty hopeless. Volchok was leading them into the middle of nowhere to live for god-knows how long. Still, it wasn't over. Marissa still loved Ryan, and she would eventually tell him. No matter what.

I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

She had fallen for him that first night at the end of the driveway. Before then, she was the queen of Harbor High, the lead deb, and the girl everyone wanted, but only Luke Ward could have. After that boy from Chino told her that he could be whoever he wanted her to be, nothing was the same.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

They had done everything together. She could still taste his lips on hers, could hear him talking to her and breathing when they had nothing to say. That night in the tiki hut was the end. She had other boyfriends after Ryan, but none of them could ever hope to compare. She only prayed she would get the chance to tell him that.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

She wanted so badly to be near him now. But she wasn't, and she figured she was a distant memory to him by now. Ryan wouldn't want to remember something as horrible as that crash.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

She cursed herself for not saying she loved him. They had spent those last precious moments together on the side of the road, and they were the most passionate she had ever experienced. If she ever got back to him, she was never going to let him go.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

All of this confirmed what was meant to be. Without Ryan, there was no her. She felt empty and cold. She loved him, but could do nothing to let him know. It killed her inside to know how badly he must be suffering.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

She needed some way to remember him as she drifted off to sleep and when they got to wherever they were going. Suddenly, she looked down at her shirt and saw that she was wearing Ryan's wifebeater. She had stolen it when they were in the model home because she wanted to take a piece of him with her to Greece. She snuggled up in the corner of the dirty van and clutched the bottom of her shirt tightly with one hand. They had said goodbye, but it wasn't forever. Right?

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

He had been everything to her. And now, she felt like nothing.