It had been a long hard slog of three years. Three years working to her limit, three years trying to avoid that fucking Ed Sheeran song. Three years of doggedly trying to erase all thoughts of Serena Campbell and failing. The piercing ache had slowly calmed down, raging insistently at all the little triggers that she'd initially revelled in. They'd never had time to just be present with each other. There had been so many things taking up their time that there was nothing left for them. After the first heady uncertain weeks of their courtship, life had slammed them against the wall and they'd taken a battering ever since. It couldn't have worked out. It turned out that they had wanted different things. Bernie couldn't quite believe that but she just had to walk away in the end. She had to put herself first this time.

Kickboxing was proving to be quite the distraction. Kept her focused and drove out so many thoughts that had been incessantly torturing her. Had she been a fool not to hedge her bets with Alex? But again, bad timing. Such bad timing. And Bernie had needed to find out who she was before she decided on being with someone. Another idiot move on her part. Because Serena had caused her the most heartbreak and she feared that she'd never get over it.

'Oh, please remember me
And I'll remember too'

She should have been happy that she was back in England and not thinking about Serena. And she was. Except when she'd remembered the touch of Serena's fingers clasping hers. She felt Cam sigh, felt his eyes on her face, scanning her expression for what he knew to be there. Yearning for someone she couldn't have. But this time it was different. It had been possible; she had been so close to getting it but it slipped out of her grasp. She tried to start again with someone else but it was slow going. A few first dates, a kiss here and there but it was nothing but pleasant. She wanted more than just nice. She wanted earth shattering, exquisite, intense orgasms and coffee mornings. She wanted to be wrapped in a blanket, big enough for two to curl up listening to the rain outside.

Standing in the middle of Kings Cross Station, she didn't know which way to turn to make that dream close enough to touch, close enough to keep. She kept striding through a maze with an ever-widening distance until it felt like she was walking through the clouds. Her habit of tuning people out while she travelled wasn't one of her best habits.

But something stopped her in her tracks this time. An unmistakable figure from the past, two of them, even. Just as she'd seen them last. They turned round and locked eyes with her, shattering her bubble. Cam protectively flanked her, glaring at them both.

'Bernie! What are you doing here?'

She supposed it wasn't a stupid question. She had been in Nairobi for three years. She wondered how to answer, a lengthy thought process that burned inside her brain, words struggling to get out, to explain her situation. Cam willed her to say something, seeming to sense that she was fighting her thoughts. But all she managed was a pathetic 'um.'

She deserved that responding scowl and eye roll. She felt Cam's anger at them both. Bernie didn't know how to get out of this.