Dearest Harry,

Im sure your wondering why i'm writing this letter to you (if you will read it).

But please just listen.

Because i need you to know this.

I don't know how it happened, or why it happened, or how i let myself get so bad. It wasn't a decision i spent nights thinking about,worrying, about or fretting about.

I was angry. That's all I remember feeling that day.

Prong's was off with Lily doing whatever they do (as always) and i hadn't seen him in a few days. Padfoot was off with Hesita Jones (the girl he knew i had been crushing on since 1st year) doing Merlin knows what in a broom closet. Moony was off in the library, doing whatever he does in there and i hadn't been talking to him much lately.

So i was alone.

I didn't know what to do without them here beside me. They were everything to me. They made me feel like a true Gryffindor.

I was strolling through the gardens thinking.

Did they really know i was my own person?

Not a puppet?

Not a puppy?

That they didn't control my everymove?

That they couldn't tell me to come and then tell me to leave them alone?

Did they even care?

Or was i just another fan girl(well guy) to them?

Another person that would listen to their stories?

Laugh at their pranks and jokes?

Would they care if i just dissapeared?

Or was i replaceable?

It just so happened that Bellatrix and Severus approached me that day (while i was in my negative stae of mind). Telling me how wll i'd do on the Dark Side. Telling me how my friends didn't care.

Now that i think about it, the whole agreement on my part was more rebellion then changing alliances.

After 10 minutes of wearing the Dark mark I was scared. No, I was terrified. I wanted to go home. I wanted out. Ive regretted the fact that i din't come to my senses earlier for years.

They imperiused me. They made me act as though i was completely normal, but told me to send a letter, telling them everything about the Marauders, Lily, the Prewetts, Alice, Frank and Dumbledore. They kept me under this curse for 4 years. They made me kill so many people. So many i loved. So many people i would've died for. So many that would've died for me. So many people i wish i'd died for.

For those mere minutes of rebellion, i ruined my entire life.

Shortly after i was forced to kill your mother, father, the muggles and frame sirius they locked me up.

I've been stuck in this cold, wet mouldy cell for 12 years now.

You would be starting your 3rd year at Hogwarts.

When i was first thrown in this horrible little cell, Bellatrix (or Bellabitch as i've grown to call her) she used a spell on me and one of the Death Eaters/

He now looks exactly like me and has my animagus form (but its non reversable)

He has posed as 'Scabbers' a commonn garden rat with an amazingly long life for years. I fear he will try to harm you.

They will kill me. That i know for sure. But i'm ready. I know i deserve it.

Please be safe Harry.

Im sure you know mw as an evil horrible bastard who killed your parents.

I also realise that you will never truely be able to forgive me.

But please try to understand.

Severus has promised to give you this letter when you turn 17 or whenever Voldemort is finally destroyed. Whatever comes first.

I don't know hpe it happened. Or how i let myself get so bad.

Im sorry, for everything.

Regardless of what anyone says, i do love you Harry.

Like my own son.

Even though you will never know me, or meet me (while im me)

Please remember i love you.

Lots of Love and Luck

Your Uncle

Wormtail

(Peter Pettigre)