A/n This was originally a drabble I had pop into my head that evolved into this . . . whatever this is that I now present to you. I will write a prequel and possible a sequel if I feel up to it and if I get enough reviews.
For all those who read my other story "When a Lover Comes Back" I promise I have not forgotten about you all. I am still trying to get my life back together after this crazy ass summer. I'm sorry for the extremely long wait but I promise that story is not dead yet!
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds I would never be able to think up those awful ways people get killed!
A knock sounded at Derek Morgan's door, the evening after Emily Prentiss's funeral. He was lying awake on the couch with a full beer in his left hand, contemplating if he really wanted to get drunk or not. A minute later he got up in a daze and walked to the entry way. Looking through the peephole to find Spencer Reid in the hallway of his apartment building looking like a lost puppy.
He opened the door and let his friend in. They both watched each other, silent as they drifted back into the living room and stood next to the sofa. Then Spencer cleared his throat.
"Um, I just . . . Morgan I . . . Derek I know I said-" thin lips shut again as the owner realized that he was getting no where with his thoughts jumbled like they were.
"It's alright pretty boy I understand. I'm here, even if it is for one night only . . ." black eyes dimmed in remembrance of what had happened in Miami.
Then the dam broke and brown eyes filled with tears long suppressed and a sob was violently torn from the genius. He almost collapsed but Morgan was there to catch and hold him.
"She's gone, just gonethis doesn't happen to our team! We haven't lost anyone this way it's just so WRONG. I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't get to tell her how amazing she is, I didn't get to tell her that she was the closest thing to a big sister I have ever had. Why, why, why WHY! TELL ME DEREK. Why did she have to leave so fast! Why didn't she let us help her? We could have helped, did she really think we were so useless that we couldn't have helped her?"
Derek was silent as he sat on the couch with Spencer cradled in his arms like a child.
"I don't know baby boy, I don't know. But I know that she loved us all and would never think that we were useless. She was just trying to protect us,"
As they sat in Derek's living room grieving in each others arms, the sun set and Derek carried Spencer to bed. As he lay listening to the slight wheezing of anthrax weakened lungs he began to think.
Nothing had turned out the way he had planned, almost nothing ever did though. He knew that tomorrow morning Spencer would go back to being Dr. Reid, asexual, socially awkward man and he would go back to Agent Morgan, door kicker and lady killer. As they had agreed before, nothing could happen with the attraction they shared. They wouldn't jeopardize the team just for their own selfish desires.
But just for tonight, he would pretend. Derek Morgan would tell himself that when he woke up Spencer would lay in his arms and smile up at him like he never wished to move. He would imagine that in the morning they wouldn't be awkward around each other and they wouldn't take separate transportation to work.
He knew that Spencer was dreaming of the same thing.
Both wanted it.
Both knew it was never possible.
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