Disclaimer - Usual. Pretty much everything belongs to Rowlings.
Chapter 45
"I… YOU…" Mrs. Black didn't seem to know where to start her rather loud tirade on the indignities she had suffered at the train station.
Sirius watched in amusement as his mother fumed; but somewhere in the back of his mind, warning bells were going off that this was going to get bad.
"How dare you!" She seemed to settle on this statement as it covered everything, since everything was Sirius' fault. With an abrupt change, she turned to Regulus and said, "Go to your room, dear. We have some things to discuss. I'll call you down later for supper." She even managed to give him a small smile.
Regulus looked from his mother to his brother and back again. He nodded once and headed upstairs.
Mrs. Black grabbed Sirius by the arm with the intent of dragging him to his father's study. Sirius wrenched his arm out of her grasp, causing her to look at him in surprise. "Go!" she commanded.
Sirius went, but that simple act had an unexpected effect. He suddenly realized he was fourteen and tall for his age, with a naturally athletic build. His mother was shorter than he, and he was only a few centimeters shorter than his father. They could no longer physically bully him. In addition, he had three years of magic under his belt, much of it beyond what normal kids his age were learning, thanks to the Marauders regular "study sessions" in the abandoned classroom. At the very least, he knew various shield and blocking charms. He was no longer helpless to defend himself against magical punishments either; not that his parents had resorted to either type of punishment often. This gave him a new sense of independence and power; he was no longer helpless to the maniacal whims of his parents. He smiled, his new found confidence ironically making him externally appear like the epitome of all things Black.
When they entered the study, Mr. Black looked up at his wife and son. Sighing, he laid down quill. "I assume there is a reason for that ridiculous grin?"
"Sorry sir," Sirius answered, not able to wipe the grin off his face.
"Your son," Mrs. Black began, still not quite able to express what happened at the train station. "I… never!" Gaining some composure, she continued, "One of his filthy muggleborn friends," she glanced at her son waiting for a reaction, but he was still grinning stupidly, "tried to shake my hand!"
Sirius' expression became wistful and his smile grew, "Yes. Bloody brilliant."
"Watch your language, boy," Mr. Black warned.
"Then he hugged her! In public!" Mrs. Black continued listing his offenses.
"Said I loved her, too. Don't forget that," Sirius interjected.
"I… Do… Do you see? He's lost his sanity, Orion." To Mrs. Black's horror, Sirius wrapped his arm around her neck and kissed her on the cheek.
"I had to get something from you, mum."
Mrs. Black went to slap him, but he blocked her hand and took a step back. He saw motion out of the corner of his eye and whipped out his wand, muttering a blocking spell, not sure if his father had cast anything or not, but he wasn't going to take the chance. Then he pointed his wand at his father and all amusement or trace of a smile was gone from his face. His eyes burned with anger as he stared his father down. "No! I will not be cowed anymore! Do what you will, but I'm done wondering – hoping that I will one day be good enough for you or that maybe you might even change." As an afterthought, he add, "At least my friends accept me for who I am."
"But that's not who you are. You are a Black. You were born into a noble house…"
"Noble? I didn't know what nobility was until I met my friends. Any nobility I've gained, I learned from them!" This was the wrong thing to say. Both his parents cast spells and Sirius could only block one. He chose to block his father's, figuring his would be the stronger of the two. His mother's spell sent him flying into the bookcase to his right. He fell to the floor, along with a few volumes from the shelf. As he pulled himself shakily to his feet, he was glad he had instinctively kept hold of his wand.
"Why can't you see that we are trying to make you who you're meant to be, and not let you settle for something less than what you're worthy of? We are trying to help you. Keep you safe."
"By throwing me into a bookcase? No thanks. I don't need that kind of help." Sirius headed for the door, not sure if his parents would let him leave or not.
"Go to your room until you are willing to discuss this rationally," Mr. Black said.
"See you September first," Sirius muttered on his way out.
Once he had left, Mrs. Black turned to her husband. "He's not going to listen to talk."
"No. I think you're right." Mr. Black stared contemplatively at the doorway through which his son had left. "I'm just not sure what to do."
The next few days were surprisingly easy for Sirius. On the few occasions he crossed paths with his mother, shouting matches inevitably ensued. He rarely saw his father, except in quick glimpses as one was leaving the room the other had entered. And he made life miserable for Regulus, pulling innocuous pranks on him just to get a reaction. Regulus even started retaliating, making it something of a game. Sirius dared to think he even spied Regulus smiling once or twice as they passed each other in the hall, each one trying to trip the other.
During the last week of June, Mrs. Black yelled for Sirius to come downstairs. He trudged down the stairs and faced her. He noticed she was holding a very official-looking letter from Hogwarts, but it was far too early for the regular yearly letter listing this year's supplies. He frowned slightly.
"What have you done now?" Mrs. Black yelled.
"I have no idea. What have I done now?" Sirius said in a bored voice.
She handed him the letter.
Dear Mr. Sirius Black,
Your presence is urgently required at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The floo connecting the Black residence with the Headmaster's office will be available at four o'clock sharp. Please be packed and ready at that time.
Deputy Headmistress,
Minerva McGonagall.
Sirius flipped over the letter, wondering if it was some kind of joke or scam that James had thought of to get him out of the house. But James would never be able to manipulate the floo network – though his father was rather influential. What's the date? Oh no! "Remus," he said in a barely audible voice. He turned and ran back to his room to gather his things, taking the stairs two at a time.
"What? Where are you going?" Mrs. Black yelled after him.
Last night was the full moon. He couldn't help but wonder if something had happened to Remus. After all, he had decided to stay at the school for the first full moon of the summer. Sirius was already packed, still living out of his trunk, as he had last summer, so he grabbed it, magicked it down the stairs, and set it in front of the fireplace. It was only twelve. He paced before the fireplace, vaguely aware that his mother was talking in the background, when suddenly his pocket vibrated, startling him. He ran to the bathroom.
"James!"
"Yeah. You get the letter?" James sounded as anxious as Sirius felt.
"I'm set to leave at four. You?"
James nodded, "Same. Wonder if they contacted Peter, too." James obviously thought it had something to do with Remus as well.
"Probably. Look, I gotta go, but I guess I'll see you at four."
James nodded again, then disappeared.
Sirius came back to the living room.
"Sirius Black!" Mrs. Black yelled. "What is going on?"
"Haven't a clue," Sirius said distractedly.
Mrs. Black didn't seem to know what to say to this. Instead, she sat silently watching her son pace. Mr. Black joined them in the living room at 3:30. Regulus hovered, sometimes standing in the doorway, sometimes disappearing for a while, only to return and hover some more.
Finally, at four, the fireplace flames turned emerald green. Sirius and Mr. Black (Mrs. Black stayed at the house with Regulus) stepped into the fireplace and were whisked away to the school.
For all the times Sirius had been in trouble, he had never seen the Headmaster's office. He looked around in amazement at all of the portraits, noting the one of Phineas, and magical devices around the large room. Most of the items he had never seen before and had no clue what they did.
James and his parents had already arrived, and Peter and his mum stepped out of the fireplace just after Sirius and Mr. Black moved out of the way.
Sirius immediately went over to Mrs. Potter, who hugged him comfortingly. She put one arm around James and the other around Sirius.
"Charles," Mr. Black acknowledged Mr. Potter, his eyes flashing dangerously as he watched Mrs. Potter interact with his son.
"Orion," Mr. Potter greeted just as coolly.
Mrs. Potter offered a small smile to Mrs. Pettigrew, but she was already almost in tears, even though she had no idea what happened.
Mrs. Pettigrew haltingly smiled back. She stood behind her son, with a hand on each of his shoulders. Peter, of course, looked nervous and cast furtive glances at Mr. Black. Mrs. Pettigrew seemed to prefer not to acknowledge Mr. Black, who obliged her, considering Mrs. Pettigrew was beneath him anyway.
They stood in tense silence until Professor Dumbledore entered the office and glanced around the room. "Good. You're all here. I'm afraid I have some bad news." He looked more solemn than Sirius could ever remember seeing him before.
Just then, Professor McGonagall entered the room. "Sorry Headmaster. He just fell asleep."
Sirius and James both visibly relaxed, assuming that "he" was Remus, though they were still tense.
Dumbledore nodded. "Good. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to say what needs to be said. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, Remus' parents… have been killed."
There was a collective gasp and a few curses from the group when they heard the news.
"Can we see Remus?" James asked.
"As you have heard, he has just fallen asleep."
"Yes, sir. I know. But can we go anyway? Just to sit."
Dumbledore smiled sadly. "Yes. Minerva, if you would. Please escort the boys to the hospital wing. I have some things to discuss with their parents."
Professor McGonagall nodded. "Come on, boys." Her voice was strained and cracked. She led them to the hospital wing, and the boys gathered around their friend's bed, much like they did the morning they found out he was a werewolf. They sat and waited for him to wake up.
Madam Pomfrey bustled over. She had obviously been crying. "I've given him a draught of dreamless sleep. He will most likely sleep until tomorrow. I will make up the beds for you."
"Thank you," James said.
Chapter 46
Remus could not have had a better start to his summer. He had been granted permission to stay at Hogwarts for his first transformation of the summer. If he had really wanted to, he could have come back for the last transformation, since it was so close to the beginning of the school year. Professor Dumbledore had opened the school for the summer to any student who wished to stay. Remus had a suspicion that this had something to do with the attacks on muggle-borns and half-bloods. But he did actually want to spend some time with his parents, and so decided to return home after the first full moon.
He practically had the whole castle to himself, and he smiled when he thought of how envious the guys would be to know they could wander anywhere, uninhibited. He also had a few days to get his classwork done for the next term.
He had already heard from Aden four times, and they were both looking forward to seeing each other. He even planned on inviting her home to meet his parents.
Madam Pomfrey had informed him that, starting in the fall, she would to teach him the spells for the Whomping Willow and for locking the door to the tunnel, and he would be solely responsible for getting himself to the Shrieking Shack for his transformations. Remus was secretly grateful for this new responsibility, as it meant, if the others ever did figure out how to become animagi, they would be able to join him without having to sneak past Madam Pomfrey or anyone else.
But this June night was the same as all the other full moons he'd spent at Hogwarts. He and Madam Pomfrey walked to the Whomping Willow, talking casually of summer plans and fall classes. In the morning, he was only semi-conscious when she came to retrieve him, and he slept – unaware that, for the second time in his young life, a full moon would turn his life upside-down – the first, of course, being when he was bitten.
Madam Pomfrey expected Remus' parents to arrive by eleven in the morning, so if she needed to pass on any instructions to them, they would have plenty of time to discuss things before Remus awoke.
When there was no word from them by eleven thirty, she hustled up to the Headmaster's office. They attempted to make contact with the Lupins, but to no avail. Professor Dumbledore insisted that Madam Pomfrey stay with her patient and he would take Professor McGonagall with him to investigate.
At noon, she received word from the Headmaster that Remus' parents were dead, requesting she not to say anything to Remus if he should wake up early, and that Dumbledore was on his way.
Remus woke up shortly after two. After assessing his injuries, he lay in bed and listened to the sounds of movement and whispering. He recognized Madam Pomfrey's voice right away and smiled.
"He's awake," he heard her say. There was something wrong though. Her voice was thick and hushed.
Remus sat up and rubbed his eyes. Once they were finally open, he looked around. Madam Pomfrey was standing behind… Professor Dumbledore? Why is he here? Remus was suddenly very awake. He looked back and forth between the two adults. It looked like Madam Pomfrey had been crying, and Professor Dumbledore, sitting in a chair beside Remus' bed, wore a sad expression that Remus had never seen before, not that he had been around the Headmaster often.
"Mr. Lupin," Professor Dumbledore started. "Remus… I have some news – about your parents."
No. no. no. no. no…
"They've been murdered." There really was no easy way to break that kind of news to someone, let alone a child. Dumbledore couldn't help the surge of anger that arose in response to the insanity of it all. Voldemort was killing and hurting his students. It was one thing to fight a war with adults. It was entirely unacceptable to involve children.
With the words spoken, the denials stopped in Remus' head. Everything seemed to stop.
"Remus." Madam Pomfrey stepped forward. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Remus! Breathe."
With a gentle shake, everything started working again, except his heart – his heart hadn't started yet. Before Madam Pomfrey could say anything else, Remus was getting up out of bed. "How?" he asked.
Dumbledore watched as Remus found his clothes and went behind the curtain to get dressed. He waited until Remus reappeared before answering. "It appears… Fenrir and at least one pup." Remus' eyes locked onto Dumbledore's at the name Fenrir. "They came to your parents last night."
Remus nodded understanding and a tear slipped down his face, but he finished getting dressed. "I want to see."
"No… Professor!" Madam Pomfrey protested, but Dumbledore nodded, and stood to take Remus home.
They walked to Dumbledore's office in silence. Remus felt like he was going to be sick, but he swallowed and kept walking. Once inside the office, Dumbledore contacted the Ministry and put in an emergency request to connect his floo to the Lupin residence.
Within two minutes Remus was standing in his own living room. He examined the mess before him. The house was in shambles. Whatever fight had taken place went through a good portion of the house. Dumbledore turned to lead Remus outside, but he didn't follow. Instead, he went up the stairs. There was blood spattered in various places, bloody hand prints, and debris, and it all led to the master bedroom. He was just about to enter the bedroom when a gentle but firm hand grasped his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Professor Dumbledore standing behind him.
"No, Remus. Come this way," he said quietly.
The Headmaster led him outside and toward some Ministry officials with whom Professor McGonagall was speaking. Beyond them, Remus saw two covered bodies. He headed toward them and faintly heard McGonagall protest, but he wasn't really listening. His world, all his perceptions, focused down to the two people lying before him. Someone, he didn't know who, pulled back the sheets just far enough for him to see the faces of his parents. By their faces, it was impossible to guess at the violence that had taken place the previous night.
"Why?" he asked Professor Dumbledore, while reaching out to touch his mother's face.
He ran his fingers through her hair as Dumbledore said, "I can only guess."
"Then guess!" Anger. Well, at least he could feel something.
Professor Dumbledore sighed. "Probably because they were denied you."
Remus nodded. He had figured it was his fault. He ran his fingers through his father's hair before turning back to Professors Dumbledore. "I'm ready to go back."
Dumbledore and McGonagall returned with him. They walked him back to the hospital wing. McGonagall stayed with him while Dumbledore left him to attend to other business. Madam Pomfrey gave him some potion, which he drank without caring to find out what it was, and he crawled back into bed without changing out of his clothes. He pulled the sheets up over his head, and the child still in him told him this was a really vivid, bad dream. If he went back to sleep, when he woke up again, everything would be fine.
But everything wasn't fine. When he woke up, he found himself surrounded by his friends, and that meant it wasn't a dream, because they'd never be in the hospital wing after holiday had started, the day after a full moon.
As soon as the others saw he was awake, James moved to the foot of his bed and Sirius moved to sit next to him.
"How are you doing?" James asked.
"Fine," Remus said.
"No you're not," Sirius protested.
Remus sighed.
After about an hour of sitting in silence, Remus said, "I think I yelled at Professor Dumbledore." There was a hint of a smile in his voice.
"Nice!" Sirius said, trying to sound impressed. Taking this as an okay to talk, Sirius asked, "So… what happened?"
James and Peter shifted in their seats.
"Fenrir," was all Remus was able to say.
"The werewolf?" James asked.
"The werewolf who bit you?" Sirius clarified.
Remus nodded.
"Why? Why now?" Sirius asked.
Remus got up and walked over to the nearest window. "Me," he said, just loud enough for the others to hear.
"Bugger."
At this point, Madam Pomfrey brought food in for everyone. It was a thoughtful, but useless gesture, as none of the boys felt like eating.
Remus stayed by the window for a while, then he turned to leave the hospital wing. "I'm going for a walk." Sirius and James made moves to get up and follow, but he held up his hand. "Alone."
The three remaining Marauders exchanged looks.
After he had left, Sirius stood up and walked to the window Remus had been occupying. "I feel so useless. Why were we even asked to come?"
"Because. Whether he knows it or not, he needs us. So we're going to stay here and let him deal with things in his own time," James said sagely.
"I wonder how many people know," Peter thought out loud.
"Why?" James asked.
"Well… I mean, does Aden know? Who else knows? I bet if he could see all the people that care about him, it would help. Maybe," Peter explained.
"You know, that's not a bad idea. I'll be right back."
As James was leaving, Madam Pomfrey said, "James, dear, your parents wanted to see you. They're staying in guest chambers on the first floor." She gave James directions to their room and he thanked her as he left. They were exactly the people he wanted to see.
James found his parents and talked with them about getting people together for the funeral. They agreed to help in any way they could.
The funeral was just a couple of days later. It was held in a private church in the village near where Remus lived. There was a large number of muggles – friends that his mum had made by working in the village – and an equally large number of students who had shown up to offer Remus support, having been contacted by the other Marauders about what had happened. Lily and Gillette were there, as was Addison, Frank – almost all of the Gryffindors from their year and up. There were several Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws as well. It was a testament to the type of person Remus was that, despite his shyness, he had impacted so many others.
Had he been able to comprehend what was happening, Remus would have felt honored. But after two days of entirely too much thinking, he had shut his brain down, too.
The whole event was very sad - not only because of the deaths, but also because Remus seemed to have lost himself. He had retreated within himself and his friends worried that he might not find his way back.
Aden sat with him through the entire ceremony, and again at the reception afterward. She held his hand, though he didn't hold hers back.
When the day was over, and he was back at school, he walked zombie-like to the Gryffindor dorm room and fell asleep. His friends, who returned with him, were at a loss as to how to help him.
A few days later, Remus found himself wondering the castle. It wasn't until he entered the hospital wing, that he knew where he was going. He sat down on the bed he usually occupied after a transformation and stared out the window. Just a few short minutes later, he heard the familiar footsteps of Madam Pomfrey coming toward him.
"Remus dear? Are you ill?" she asked.
"No ma'am. I just… ended up here."
She fussed over him a bit, checking his forehead, taking his pulse. "When's the last time you've eaten?"
Remus shrugged. "I don't know."
Madam Pomfrey frowned. "Oh, dear child."
Suddenly struck by a terrible thought, Remus asked, "Will I have to leave?"
"What? No! Don't be silly."
"But… I'm an orphan now," Remus said, a tear escaping past his numbing cocoon. "Don't I have to go… somewhere?" Remus started rattling off questions about money and provisions; where would he live and go to school?
"Shh, shh, child. You're not going anywhere. You see," Madam Pomfrey said with a smile, "I have been declared your legal guardian."
"You?" he said in surprise.
"Yes. This way, you can stay here all year. You'll be safe here, and we already have a place set up for your transformations, so no special provisions would need to be made."
"Why you?" he asked, not unkindly.
"Because I asked to be."
There was only one person in the world that made him feel even close to how his mum made him feel, and that was Madam Pomfrey. After attending Hogwarts for three years, Remus had built quite a rapport with her as she took care of him every month. The fact that she, knowing everything that happened – knowing that it was his fault his parents were dead (or so he believed) – and she had still requested to watch over him… He felt his heart start beating again. With it came pain unlike anything he had ever felt before, but also came love. Remus crumbled and fell into the arms of the woman who would now watch over him and, without disappointing, she held onto him and didn't let go.
There are some hurts that no potion in the world can heal, but love and time have a magic all their own.
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A/N - Well - welcome to Part 3. Hope you enjoyed the double-feature. Thank you to all who have been so encouraging throughout this story. Thanks also to my ever faithful support system - Mom, mei mei, and J.A. Carlton. Love.