Uh uh... That's right, I'm back at tormenting Harry Potter with exposition to Evangeline. This time, blame ZephyrFiction, HE gave me the idea. No, wait, he gave me just some baselines, the torment it's all mine...

by lord Martiya

Welcome to Evangeline's, sir Potter

Harry Potter felt strange. Last thing he remembered was being at Fleur and Bill's wedding, then... Wait, the Twins stunned him. Better it wasn't another prank, he had no time to waste.

"Welcome back to the living, sir Potter." a feminine voice said. It was calm, yet it bore hints of unimaginable danger. Specially given he was tied up and couldn't see anything in that darkness. "What the-BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OH, GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"OK, why is she laughing?" Harry wondered. "I hope it doesn't mean trouble..."

"Harry? Who's laughing?" Hermione's voice asked from his left.

"Someone who wants to help you, miss Granger. Snort... Uh uh... I apologize, sir Potter, but your face gave me a funny idea..."

"... Can you free us now?" Harry asked. "We need to-"

"Hunt Riddle's horcrux? Yes, I know. I know that sir Dumbledore told you of how Riddle cheated death and you are supposed to search for those artifacts. The problem is, you are awfully unprepared for an hunt in the now-occupied Britain."

"W-"

"As we are speaking, you are being declared Indesiderable #1 by a Ministy under Riddle's control, and they already made Taboo the word 'Voldemort'. Hadn't the Right Honorable Scrimgeour organized your emigration, you'd be already dead, presumibly after saying 'Voldemort' and being tracked down by the traitors. Don't worry: your friend Ronald Weasley and the Weasley Twins should be enough for the hunt."

Harry never doubted of it. The problem was, what about the collateral damage and other people?

"You'd expect a member of the Order to put some more resistance." Fred commented after looking at Mundungus Fletcher.

"Oh, well, he was just an informant, not Moody." George added.

"OK, now we have an horcrux, but how we destroy it?" Ron asked.

The Twins just smiled and produced the Sword of Gryffindor.

"Where did you found it?" Ron asked.

"Percy."

"The situation is this: you will remain here until I'll deem you ready to survive in Riddle's Britain." the voice continued. "Don't even THINK to escape this place, I've already made it impossible. In fact, I don't even need you tied up."

With that, the ropes vanished.

"Oh... Thank you." Harry said. "But why are you calling Dumbledore and me 'sir'?"

Harry heard the noise of a facepalm.

"What did they taught you in Hogwarts?" she wondered. "Dumbledore was a knight of the Order of Merlin, so he was styled 'sir'. You are the son of James Potter and the heir of Sirius Black but claimed neither lordship, so you're still styled 'sir'. As for me, I am a member of the Order of the Thistle and that takes precedence on my being the daughter of a laird, so you shall call me Lady McDowell of Garthland. Later, I'll proceed to teach you the correct forms of address."

"Er... Ok... WAIT, WHO?"

Finally, light entered the room, an elegant chamber in what appeared to be a castle, unveiling that yes, Hermione was there, and yes, they were before a smiling Evangeline A.K. McDowell, the most dangerous being on Earth. And Harry hadn't a will...

Author note

Well, pilot chapter wrote. If you're wondering what Evangeline was talking about... Well, I used the correct forms of address of the United Kingdom (thanks, Wikipedia). And I just wanted an excuse to make Evangeline a lady, but her clan chief (yes, they actually exist) was never a lord, so... If you are instead wondering why Evangeline laughed, it's a running joke in my fanfictions. Poor Harry...