Disclaimer: Of course, Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am not making any profit from this.
Author's note: Hey! I wanted to write a semi-depressing story about my fav pairing, Gin&Rangiku. Hm. Alright, well, I may have kinda stuffed up the plot line a bit, but you know what I mean.
Gin may be out of character, but I was trying to show what he was feeling underneath his smiley-always-'happy' facade. 'Cause I'm convinced he had real, actual feelings! (: The letters throughout the story become more friendly, 'cause Gin was reaching out to Rangiku.
Oh, and one last thing: I know that Gin wouldn't write in his accent, but try to imagine that he's speaking as he writes. I also wanted to show that it was him who was writing!
Please, please review! (:
~Rainbow Fruit Loop x
~Unread, Unopened, Untouched~
The series of unread letters lay, discarded, on the top right hand corner her mahogany desk. They were covered by all sorts of reports, doodles, and receipts from her many shopping trips.
The white letters lay next to a single pale pink rose.
They were unopened.
The thick, cream envelopes lay untouched, because she feared what was inside them. She didn't want to read them.
She feared what she would learn.
Reading the beautiful letters would tell her why he made the decision to leave.
Reading them would tell her why he left her.
Reading them would tell her why he left her when he promised that he'd never leave her side ever again.
Why he left her… when she loved him.
But even though she didn't read his letters, she kept them.
All of them.
They were the memories she would never know he'd cherished, the secrets she never thought she'd be trusted with, and the love she would never know was returned.
Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku
Tenth Squad Barracks
Seireitei
Soul Society
June 16th
Dear Lieutenant Rangiku,
I don' know why I'm writin' so formally. Maybe I'm afraid ya won't read this if it's not. I know ya probably don' wanna hear from me. An' I don' blame ya.
You probably want me ta tell ya why I left with Captain Aizen. But… I can'. Not yet.
Do ya remember that time when we were kids? I told ya that I was gonna become a Shinigami, so ya wouldn't haf'ta cry. Do ya remember? I'm sorry that I left ya back then. But, Ran-chan, I had my reasons. I'm sorry fer making ya cry.
If you're still readin' this, I beg ya not to take this to the ol' man. I know it's the right thin' ta do, but fer me…please. But I know I don't deserve yer kindnes, an' loyalty…but please.
It's cold here, Ran-chan, without ya. I want ta feel ya warmth. The warmth only you can give. But Captain Aizen tol' me I'd get used ta the cold. But will I really, Rangiku?
Thinking of ya every minute of every day,
Ex-Captain Ichimaru Gin
……………………………………………………
Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku
Tenth Squad Barracks
Seireitei
Soul Society
July 7th
Dear Rangiku,
Ya' didn't reply. An' I don' blame ya. If I were you, I wouldn' either.
It's getting' colder here, Ran-chan. An' I'm not getting' used to it. If anythin', it's getting' harder. Is this how things are supposed ta work?
Ran-chan, if I could have one wish, it'd be ta turn back the clock. Ta turn it back to that day… when we were children. That's where it all started.
Do ya remember when I found ya, curled up on the groun', starvin' to death? I remember what I felt when I saw ya; you were the beauty I had never seen before. But that wasn't the reason I saved ya. I was lonely, Ran-chan. But I'm still lonely now. Lonelier than ever before. Even here with Captain Aizen, and Tosen, and the Arrancar. I'm still lonely.
I'll write again soon, my Ran-chan.
Eagerly hopin' for a reply,
Ichimaru Gin.
…………………………………………………
Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku
Tenth Squad Barracks
Seireitei
Soul Society
July 31st
My Rangiku,
I know I don' haf the right ta call ya 'mine' anymore. But that won' change a thin'. Yer're probably thinkin' that these letters are jus' the ramblin' of a traitor. But they're not. Captain Aizen doesn' know that I'm writin' to ya, Ran-chan. I found a way aroun' his hidden cameras. I think I'm riskin' my life ta write ta ya. But I think it's worth it. Even though you're not replyin'.
Remember when I first told ya I loved ya? It was jus' after you were promoted ta Vice Captain. I was so happy fer ya. I took ya to our secret place – the hidden rose garden, remember? I was playin' wit' yer hair, an', as we watched the sunset, I told ya that I had fallen in love with ya. Ya kissed me under the setting sun. It was beautiful. You were beautiful.
Yer're probably gettin' bored of the memories I keep bringin' up. But remembering you, an' how things were, keeps me sane in this darkness.
I have a reason for doing all of this, ya know. But I can't tell you now. I don' wanna get ya hurt.
Still in love with you,
Ichimaru Gin.
…………………………………………………
Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku
Tenth Squad Barracks
Seireitei
Soul Society
August 19th
Ran-chan,
I'm as lonely an' as cold as ever. Captain Aizen tol' me that things were changin'. That things were goin' to plan.
I heard that he sent out two of the Espada. Number Six and Number Ten. I was tol' that Number Six hurt ya. Ran-chan… I wanted to kill him so badly. But someone else did. Not on my behalf, though, which is how I would'a wanted it.
It hurts me to think that he hurt you. I know that it sounds hypocritical, 'cause it's me who has hurt you the most.
Ran-chan, how are ya doin'? I haven' asked. Have you moved on? I… hope so. I hope you've forgotten 'bout me. It'll make everythin' easier.
Someone once tol' me that love was blind. Not mine, though. I wouldn' wanna miss a single second of your mesmerizing beauty, Ran-chan. I really hope you don' hate me too much.
Love you,
Gin.
…………………………………………………
Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku
Tenth Squad Barracks
Seireitei
Soul Society
September 3rd
My dearest Rangiku,
Aizen's kidnapped one of yer friends. I tol' 'im that it wasn' a good idea, but he ignored me.
I'm sure you already know that she's gone. Captain Aizen's gotten her friends to believe that she came 'ere by her own free will. But she didn'. I'm sure that orange-haired Ryoka will come here, to Hueco Mundo, Ran-chan. If… If I'm ordered to kill him, I will have to.
That's the kinda person I've had to have become, Ran-chan. I haf'ta obey Captain Aizen. If he tells me to kill someone, I've gotta do it.
So, my dearest Rangiku, I'm beggin' ya not ta come here. Don't try to save yer friend. It won't work. We have ten of the strongest Arrancar at our fingertips. And… I know Captain Aizen. He'll make me the one ta kill ya. And I couldn' do that. No matter what. I'd kill myself before I'd kill you, Ran-chan.
So, please don' come. I don' wan' ya ta see me… like this. I don' think I could stand yer disappointment.
Love Gin x
…………………………………………………
Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku
Tenth Squad Barracks
Seireitei
Soul Society
September 28th
Rangiku,
I'm in a depressin' mood, Ran-chan. 'Cause it's a matter of life or death fer me, now. But… Death always wins in the end, ya know. We Shinigami may think that we have evaded death, but we haven'. Death always wins in the end. And so I think… it's the end fer me soon. So I think I can tell ya the truth.
See, Ran-chan, I never betrayed Soul Society. Not really. I followed Captain Aizen to Hueco Mundo… for you.
That night, when I left ya, I tol' ya that I didn' wanna make ya cry. That was only half of it.
You are my world, Matsumoto Rangiku. And, so when Aizen shattered my peaceful, irresistible world… I always wanted to get revenge on him. He stole something dear to you. Something dear to me. And I remember thinking 'Why her? Why my beautiful, sweet, innocent Rangiku?' And so…I planned to get revenge.
That's why I left. Ta get revenge on the man who hurt you like I couldn' imagine. I want to kill him. Not watch him be killed, but do the deed myself.
I hope that… with this truth, you'll forgive me eventually. I know it'll take time, but I hope you can forgive me.
Forever hopeful,
Gin xx
…………………………………………………
Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku
Tenth Squad Barracks
Seireitei
Soul Society
November 13th
Rangiku,
It's been almost two months, an' you haven' replied. Are ya still disappointed? Ain' ya gonna forgive me? No…sorry. I don' deserve yer forgiveness. I guess… fer all you know, I could be lyin'…
But, Ran-chan, the 'Winter War' is 'bout ta start. Please, please don' get involved. I don' wanna see ya get hurt.
But I know ya, or rather, knew ya. You'll get involved, won' ya? Just please, my love, don't get killed.
This'll be the last time I'll be able ta send a letter, Ran-chan. And so I jus' wanna give ya one las' memory.
Remember that time when the Ryoka came? Remember… jus' before Captain Aizen, Tosen an' I left? It was the day before, I think. Everythin' was chaotic – as ya would expect. But I took ya out, in the midst of it all, and took ya to our rose garden. Remember? We slow-danced fer what seemed like an eternity, in the dusk. The sky was pink and orange. Ya thought it was beautiful. Ya couldn' keep yer eyes off it, remember? I couldn' keep my eyes off you. Then I picked ya that pale pink rose, Ran-chan, 'cos it reminded me of yer lips.
Do you still have it, I wonder. Or did you shred it into a million pieces as soon as I 'betrayed'? Flowers in Soul Society do not wither and grow old. They remain as beautiful and as fresh as the first time you set eyes on them. Just like you, my Rangiku.
Don't ya ever forget one thin', my Ran-chan. I love ya. No matter what happens, know that I love ya. I did everything fer ya. Because you are my world. I love you, Rangiku.
Goodbye,
Your loving Gin xxx
She sat at her desk, a quiet, sad song filling the silence of her office.
Needing to find a report which needed filling out, she started to hunt around on her desk.
And she found them.
The beautiful letters and the pale pink rose.
Gin.
They were all unread. They were all unopened. And they were all untouched.
Hesitantly, with her finger, she traced her name on the front of the envelope. His writing was so beautiful.
She held one of the letters up, and pressed it to her chest. Her hands were shaking.
My Gin.
Before she knew it, tears were falling from her crystal clear, light blue eyes, and rolling down her face.
When they were children, he had promised that he would make sure that she would never have a reason to cry.
He had been wrong. It was him who now caused the tears to fall unstoppably from her eyes.
It was a promise he knew he could never keep.
The last memory she had of her beloved Gin was one she wished could have been different. She wished that her last memory of him could have been happy, and full of love. Instead, she remembered his ice blue eyes gazing into hers. He had whispered the words 'my lovely Ran-chan', before his eyes had slowly shut, and his broken body had become limp in her arms.
My Gin.
Because the truth was: she had forgiven him. As soon as he had left her side, she had forgiven him.
She didn't care if he was a traitor. She didn't care if he had been fighting on the wrong side. All she had wanted was for him to come back to her.
It was where he had belonged.
She picked up the rose, and smiled, despite her tears. He had given it to her, the day before he had left.
It was still as fresh and as beautiful as the day he had plucked it for her, tucked it behind her ear, and slow-danced with her underneath the setting sun.
Her eyes drifted towards the letters.
I should read them.
She wanted to read them, despite her fears. She wanted to know what Gin had told her.
Her hand shaking, she reached out for the first letter.
"Matsumoto!" A call from her Captain's office interrupted her.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Rangiku placed the flower and the letter on the centre of her desk.
Reading the letters would have to wait.
She would save remembering the memories she never thought he'd reminisce, learning the secrets she never thought he'd trust her with, and feeling the love she never thought was returned… for another day.
She had all the time in the world.
Because for Gin… she had forever.