Ron Weasley, the hideously ugly red headed misoginist woman hater, was walking through the corridors of Hogwarts, burping a tune to himself in a way he thought was clever and funny. Lavender and Parvati saw him and rolled their eyes at how stupid he was. "You smell!" Ron shouted. He let out an echoing fart. Harry Potter saw Ron and grimaced in pain at how utterly moronic and ridiculous his supposed best friend was. He asked himself for the zillionth time why Ron was his friend and reminded himself it was pity and nothing else that made him maintain their meaningless friendship. "Hey Ron!" said Harry. "You're supposed to be at the sorting! That cool new student is going to be sorted and everyone can't wait to see what house she'll be in! I hope it's griffindor!" "Whatever," belched Ron. "Come on, we'll get in trouble!" Harry chived his painfully stupid friend. He grabbed Ron by the arm and dragged the bozo to the Great Hall. As they walked through the doors everyone turned and looked, pulling faces at how gross Ron's fart smelled. "Eewwwww," said all the girls, looking at Ron's ugly face.
"Hey Harry," said Ginny, Ron's inbred younger sister, in a sleazy voice, "come sit here."
She was wearing a sparkly bikini, in violation of the HOgwart's dress code, and her skin was covered in hideous orange fake tan. She looked like a reject from Jersey Shore. "Uh, maybe later Ginny," winced Harry, going to sit near Hermione.
"Hello Harry," smiled Hermione.
she looked at Ron and gagged at how smelly he was. "Hi," she said. "Oh Goodness, I'm so excited about the new student," said Hermione. Harry noticed she'd had her formerly bushy hair cut off into an attractive pixie cut and it looked stunning.
"Ew, Mione, why did you change your hair, it looks really Muggle now," said Ron, pulling a sneer that made his already ugly features into a truly mirror-busting visage of foulness.
"Shut up Ron," Mione said, her pretty face scowling. "You Weasleys are so prejudicial sometimes."
"I think it looks nice Mione," smiled Harry.
"Me too!" said Neville. "But be quiet or we won't here the cool new student being sorted!"
"QUIET EVERYONE!" said proffessor MackGonogal. "I have an enormously important annoucnement to make! We have a brand new student joining our fifth year- a transfer student from our sister school in the States, Boarcarbuncles Academy! A standing ovation, everyone!"
The whole school rose to their feet and clapped as a slender, attractive young witch walked through the doors. She had apple-green hair, bright green eyes and a pretty smile. "Dazzalina Evans!" Announced McGonagall. The fascinating witch sat on the stool and put the sorting hat on her head. Everyone waited with baited breath for it to make it's announcement. "Ewww, is she a muggleborn or what," said Ron, farting again.
"Ron!" hissed Harry. "Be quiet!"
"Hmmmmmm," the hat said. "I can't decide! You're incredibly ambitious, courageous, intelligent and loyal! All four houses would be so proud to have someone as amazing as you, Dazzalina."
"That's nice," the young witch said. "But call me Daz, will you? If anyone calls me my birth name, I can't stand it."
"Oh, I'm sorry Daz," said the sorting hat. "You've got guts, to contradict the sorting hat! Therefore I'll put you in Griffindor!" The Griffindor table burst into applause, stamping their feet and cheering madly. The other three tables looked sulky. Daz made her way over to the table and to Harry's suprise, sat down next to him and Hermione. Ron scowled and farted again. He clearly had bad gas tonight. The gang were about to introducte themselves when McGonagall cleared her throat.
"I have another announcement!" she said. "Several students will be resorted!"
Everyone gasped.
"Ron Weasley!" Ron blushed an ugly maroon colour. "What?" he said.
"Ron Weasley please come to the front!"
"Go on!" Hermione hissed.
Harry pushed him. "Go on!"
Ron reluctantly walked up to the sorting hat and put it on.
"Wow you really have bad gas tonight!" said the hat. The whole school burst out laughing and Ron's face glowed like a lighthouse. "I'm afraid I've made a mistake with your sorting son. You belong in Sltherin!"
Ron gasped and almost fell off his seat.
"No!" He shouted. "This is a nightmare! This is one of my nightmares!
"Oh this is no nightmare, son! Get thee to slytherin! And don't eat so many beans!"
The whole school laughed at Ron's stupidity again. Ron got up and slowly shuffled towards the slytherin table. Harry and Hermione gasped at each other. Their friend, a Slytherin! They couldn't be friends any more! It just wasn't possible! Daz, the cool new transfer student from Boarbuncles, raised a pale green eyebrow. "Hey guys," she said. "YOu seem pretty cool. Can I be your friend?"
"Do you think burping's funny?" asked Harry.
Daz wrinkled her nose.
"Uh, no. That's gross."
"Then you can be our friend!" Harry smiled.
"Yes, I was sick of Ron anyway," Hermione agreed.
And that's how Daz Evans took Ron's place in the Trio.
"Hey Harry," said Ginny, Ron's inbred younger sister, in a sleazy voice, "come sit here."
She was wearing a sparkly bikini, in violation of the HOgwart's dress code, and her skin was covered in hideous orange fake tan. She looked like a reject from Jersey Shore. "Uh, maybe later Ginny," winced Harry, going to sit near Hermione.
"Hello Harry," smiled Hermione.
she looked at Ron and gagged at how smelly he was. "Hi," she said. "Oh Goodness, I'm so excited about the new student," said Hermione. Harry noticed she'd had her formerly bushy hair cut off into an attractive pixie cut and it looked stunning.
"Ew, Mione, why did you change your hair, it looks really Muggle now," said Ron, pulling a sneer that made his already ugly features into a truly mirror-busting visage of foulness.
"Shut up Ron," Mione said, her pretty face scowling. "You Weasleys are so prejudicial sometimes."
"I think it looks nice Mione," smiled Harry.
"Me too!" said Neville. "But be quiet or we won't here the cool new student being sorted!"
"QUIET EVERYONE!" said proffessor MackGonogal. "I have an enormously important annoucnement to make! We have a brand new student joining our fifth year- a transfer student from our sister school in the States, Boarcarbuncles Academy! A standing ovation, everyone!"
The whole school rose to their feet and clapped as a slender, attractive young witch walked through the doors. She had apple-green hair, bright green eyes and a pretty smile. "Dazzalina Evans!" Announced McGonagall. The fascinating witch sat on the stool and put the sorting hat on her head. Everyone waited with baited breath for it to make it's announcement. "Ewww, is she a muggleborn or what," said Ron, farting again.
"Ron!" hissed Harry. "Be quiet!"
"Hmmmmmm," the hat said. "I can't decide! You're incredibly ambitious, courageous, intelligent and loyal! All four houses would be so proud to have someone as amazing as you, Dazzalina."
"That's nice," the young witch said. "But call me Daz, will you? If anyone calls me my birth name, I can't stand it."
"Oh, I'm sorry Daz," said the sorting hat. "You've got guts, to contradict the sorting hat! Therefore I'll put you in Griffindor!" The Griffindor table burst into applause, stamping their feet and cheering madly. The other three tables looked sulky. Daz made her way over to the table and to Harry's suprise, sat down next to him and Hermione. Ron scowled and farted again. He clearly had bad gas tonight. The gang were about to introducte themselves when McGonagall cleared her throat.
"I have another announcement!" she said. "Several students will be resorted!"
Everyone gasped.
"Ron Weasley!" Ron blushed an ugly maroon colour. "What?" he said.
"Ron Weasley please come to the front!"
"Go on!" Hermione hissed.
Harry pushed him. "Go on!"
Ron reluctantly walked up to the sorting hat and put it on.
"Wow you really have bad gas tonight!" said the hat. The whole school burst out laughing and Ron's face glowed like a lighthouse. "I'm afraid I've made a mistake with your sorting son. You belong in Sltherin!"
Ron gasped and almost fell off his seat.
"No!" He shouted. "This is a nightmare! This is one of my nightmares!
"Oh this is no nightmare, son! Get thee to slytherin! And don't eat so many beans!"
The whole school laughed at Ron's stupidity again. Ron got up and slowly shuffled towards the slytherin table. Harry and Hermione gasped at each other. Their friend, a Slytherin! They couldn't be friends any more! It just wasn't possible! Daz, the cool new transfer student from Boarbuncles, raised a pale green eyebrow. "Hey guys," she said. "YOu seem pretty cool. Can I be your friend?"
"Do you think burping's funny?" asked Harry.
Daz wrinkled her nose.
"Uh, no. That's gross."
"Then you can be our friend!" Harry smiled.
"Yes, I was sick of Ron anyway," Hermione agreed.
And that's how Daz Evans took Ron's place in the Trio.