A/N: Hi, this is a new story that I decided to put in the Kingdom Hearts universe, starring Zack/Cloud. The main pairing is ZackxCloud although there are mentions of CloudxTifa, ZackxCissnei and SoraxRiku and etc. This is AU. M/M. And a hard M-rated piece. I will edit out pieces of it to make it suitable to fanfiction guidelines, although the complete version can be found on my livejournal.

Disclaimer: I am flat out broke. I own nothing. Kingdom Hearts belongs to someone else.

Title: Naïve, Sweet, and Confused

By: Perpetual-Writer's-Block

Chapter 1: A Guy Like Cloud Needed Alone Time

Tidus was sure that Cloud Strife was contemplating the meaning of his existence. Yuna was almost certain Cloud was simply staring at the clock and counting down the seconds till class was over. Sora was sure that Cloud was creating a new scientific theory beyond the understanding of mere mortals. Roxas, well Roxas was sure he knew exactly what Cloud was thinking about. Sex. Roxas was one hundred percent sure that Cloud was thinking about hot, steamy, romantic, perfect sex with his, hot, curvaceous, extremely popular girlfriend.

They were, of course, all wrong.

Cloud was thinking about why everyone he knew had this unhealthy obsession with staring at him and trying to figure out what he was staring at, or thinking about, or how quiet, plain, and unpopular Cloud Strife managed to snag a girl as perfect as Tifa Lockheart.

And at the same time he was contemplating the eccentricities of his closest friends, he was wondering why he didn't seem to think his relationship with Tifa was as perfect as he thought it would be. Really, he should have listened to Zack. His spiky haired, energetic, popular best friend had not so gently told him that he couldn't handle a girl like Tifa Lockheart. That had, of course, sparked an argument that very nearly ended their 11 year long friendship. But eventually, they accepted it was ridiculous that they were arguing about a girl Cloud had yet to ask out, and simply decided to see where the pieces fell. Zack aided Cloud in wooing his soon-to-be sweetheart and had succeeded in teaching his naïve best friend how to date a girl like Tifa. In addition, and in Zack's eyes most importantly, he had arranged for his best friend to become a man. This was in the figurative sense, of course, since Zack sure as hell hadn't done the deed himself- that job fell to Tifa. Still, Zack consistently asserted that he was responsible for Cloud losing his virginity and taking a huge step toward becoming the sexy, confident hottie he was sure to become. "No homo", of course, he consistently added, forever ensuring that Cloud wouldn't mistake his continued reassurances of Cloud's attractiveness as a come-on. Not that Cloud ever would.

And yet, despite the fact that he was loathe to admit that Zack was right, Tifa Lockheart had turned out to be everything he wasn't expecting and was so thoroughly high maintenance that Cloud found himself exhausted. Between work, school, and Tifa, Cloud had no time for his friends, for his family, and especially no time to himself. And a guy like Cloud Strife, quiet, moody, "emo" as Zack and Sora so quaintly phrased, needed time to himself.

And so what Cloud was really thinking about so long and hard during his seventh period Health class (which, Cloud learned early on was certainly not good for the health of his brain, as he found himself losing millions of brain cells a minute, as Mr. Tardis droned on and on about safe sex, STDs, the hazards of drug use, and every other common sense, self preservationist fact known to man), was how exactly he could break up with Tifa Lockheart and keep all of his body parts.

Cloud looked at the clock and realized he had about twenty minutes till the bell rang. As Mr. Tardis began to pass out worksheets about decision-making skills, Cloud realized he was never going to focus on his work unless he solved this problem. Cloud cowardly realized there was no safe way to do it in person, and made the worst decision of his life.

He hurriedly texted his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend one simple message:

"Hey, Tifa, I want to break up with you."

As he turned toward his worksheets he realized how royally stupid he was.

It didn't help that the worksheets made him realize he had the worst decision-making skills on the planet.

He had totally shit the bed on this one.

After the bell rang he all but ran through the halls to the library, thinking that the faster he got there, the more likely Tifa wouldn't find him.

At 3:03 pm he realized he'd never be able to avoid the oncoming typhoon.