Wow, it's been a while. Well, I've got the next installment of my little series and you'll find out what the next one is in the second half of this two shot which'll be up tomorrow.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or this wonderful pairing
Nanao does her best not to dream at night.
She accomplishes this quite well for the most part, though her way of going about this is rather...unorthodox. Most people ward off dreams through traditional or more modern ways. For example, an extremely popular way of warding off nightmares is to do this with a sort of dreamcatcher, which was introduced to Soul Society by way of a Native American who found their way to Japan and died there and had a surprising amount of reiatsu which allowed him to remember what part of his former life was. This person is still alive but it's speculated that he is nearly as old as Yamamoto is and lives somewhere off the outskirts of...somewhere. Of course, human dreamcatchers are completely ineffective, but if made skillfully in Soul Society...well, you get the picture.
These ornaments caused a bit of a ruckus when a maid once revealed that she'd seen a dreamcatcher in Kuchiki-taichou's room, causing an outbreak of gossip which lasted an approximate three days. The maid mysteriously disappeared that day and that was the end of the gossip, not to mention that Rukia-san avoided her brother like the plague for the next month or two. Since then, several fukutaichos have found themselves landed with the jobs of cleaning out their rooms for them.
Kyouraku-taicho found himself being chased out of the office by random office appliances when he suggested it.
Then there are the more natural ways of warding off dreams, such as putting a small sack of herbs under the pillow to soothe the mind, or a short session of some gentle stretching or deep meditation in order to relax the body, or watching how much they eat before sleep and making sure the room is comfortable. Or, like some other, immoral people do, sleeping with someone else tends to take away their dreams.
She's tried all of them-yes, even the last when she was particularly drunk and depressed though heaven forbid that Kyouraku-taicho find out-in the first few months that she decided that she needed to quit dreaming, and none of them seemed to work. Not to mention the embarassment that when Kyouraku-taichou found the herb pillow.
So she went to extreme measures to stop herself from dreaming.
She currently refrains from sleeping completely.
Oh, she knows perfectly well the stress and the harm this could cause in her body, but as long as she doesn't dream she could really care less. And it isn't as if she doesn't sleep ever. Of course she does. She sleeps when it's not dark outside. For example, when Kyouraku-taichou is off doing whatever he does, she closes the office door and allows herself an hour or two of light sleep and no one is the wiser. And if she's in a situation where she absolutely must sleep at night, she goes to Unohana-taichou and asks her for a sleeping medication. She doesn't use this too often as she tends to get dependent upon that stupid little blue pill and then the effect wears off and the dreams return
But anyway, it's only when it's night time that she dreams.
The night seems to trigger reactions in her brain which grants her reoccuring dreams, so Nanao isn't quite sure what she's afraid of more, her nightmares or her dreams.
When she's in a nightmare, you see, she dreams of walls. Walls that stretch and twist and turn to connect themselves into an endless maze with far too many dead ends for her liking. Now, being the sensible person she is, in this kind of nightmare, she would simply sit down and meditate until she woke up.
And she would, if it wasn't for that other thing in the maze. She's never seen much more than the square eyes that reflect light like glass of whatever it is that chases her down the labyrinth, but something tells her that she really doesn't want to, even though it doesn't have hot and heavy breath and it doesn't make growling, threatening sounds. Really, all she can hear is the stampeding of feet. But still, she runs.
She runs from whatever or whoever (For she knows that more than any animal, she fears other humans the most) it is, fear lending speed to her feet. She despairs when she runs into a dead end, banging against the walls, throwing herself at them only to be repelled by what feels distinctly like her own reiatsu and she recognizes the many layered barriers as one that she can make but cannot unmake to let herself out.
The thought of pulling out her zanpakutou and fighting the creature has never occurred to her.
In the end, she must thank whatever deity is watching over her for the pink robed, bumbling, drunken mess who always manages to wake her up before she comes face to face with her monster. Or monsters. She's heard more than one chasing her before, after all.
But while she fears her nightmare, at least there is some semblance of control. At least there are rules in her nightmare, which is survival, to outrun the creatures chasing after her and at least it makes sort of sense.
But in her dreams...it's like stepping into an alternate reality.
In her dreams, she stands in a whirlwind of sakura petals.
When she looks down at herself, she isn't robed in the standard shinigami uniform as she should be, being that she's outside. No, she's in a strangely white kimono with invisible stitches piecing together the rich silk. In her hand lies not a tome, sword, or pen-all of which she can and does use as weapons-but a crimson parasol to protect her lovely, pale skin from the sun
She can't move left or right in this dream due to the walls of sakura branches and petals on either side of her, so she must move straight ahead along the cream colored path. And so she does. But after a moment or two, she realizes that she's being watched by a multitude of eyes through the branches, all of them whispering admiringly and she feels self conscious.
And then she looks at herself once more and then glances behind her to see a procession of faceless people, all following her solemnly. And though she can't make out their face, she feels excitement and joy saturating the air and she doesn't know what to make of this until she faces the front again to see a temple and she pales for she suddenly understands.
She is in the middle of a wedding procession, with her as the bride.
She continues to walk, swallowing all this information in her usual way, looking down and when she looks up again she sees herself at the altar and someone much taller than her across from her. She can't see their face for she's looking straight at his chest and modesty dictates her to keep her eyes lowered for the duration of the ceremony. But when the time comes, she feels a strong hand cupping her chin, tilting her head up and panic overcomes her.
She could submit.
(She's never allowed herself to be vulnerable in her life)
She could protest.
(Her heart's never pounded against her ribcage so hard before)
She could run.
(Her knees are buckling and she can't breathe)
She could make a scene.
(But oh god, she wanted all those eyes to go away just so she could bask in this person's glory)
She could have stopped in the middle of the path, stopping the procession.
(She wants to know if there's any sort of future waiting beyond the wedding)
She could have broken through the wall of sakura if she put her mind to it.
(She's afraid to ruin her clothes; she's never handled clothes so costly before)
She could do any of these things and in this dream, the choice is hers.
(Her mind tells her to do one thing, her heart tells her to do something else)
She doesn't want that freedom.
(She's afraid to accept the love radiating from the man in front of her)
Like her nightmare, she wakes up before looking into her husband-to-be's face.
To dream and be unable to wake herself means to lose herself, to show weakness. She refuses, and so she refuses sleep as well although she does end up having to succumb to a night's sleep about once or twice every week or two.
Kyouraku-taichou doesn't know just how grateful she is for all the extra paperwork.
Er...I'm just going to back away now. I hope you enjoyed reading this, despite what I think about this piece of-
Please review.