Prologue:
One's my 'supposedly' best friend who I used to love and now hates me, One's the one that said he loves me and then theres the one I think I love.
Carl, Shane or Mark?
Chapter 1.
Miremba.
I burst out laughing as Carl pulled on the tutu. He grinned down at me. I felt my heart skip a beat as I realised just how beautiful he was. If only he felt more than friendship towards me. But of course. That would never happen for me, I wasnt exactly pretty, or popular. I normally try and stay invisible. But recently I struggled at this. I had asked out a boy and he had said yes. He was called Mark. He was amazing, funny, cute, kind.
Well thats what I'd thought. But he'd dumped me because he'd been embaressed because people made fun of me. Calling me 'fat.' I already knew that I was, I didnt need to be reminded constantly.
I found this hurt me more when I focused on it. Carl always told me to ignore them, but I couldnt. It always bugged me.
"Miremba?" I heard Carls voice ring into my brain and I focused back on reality.
He'd jumped off the fence and I still had the camera in my hands. "Did you get it?"
I looked at him and then realised what I was supposed to be doing. We were taking pictures to put on Carls facebook profile and I was supposed to off taken a picture of him jumping off the fence.
"Uhm, no.. I was... daydreaming." I muttured.
He sighed and pulled me into a hug. "Forget about them Miri."
I smiled into his chest and sighed, wishing it meant more than a comforting hug.
I felt like I needed to tell him how I felt, so we took the dog for a walk. Everyone kept asking if we were going out. Personally, I liked it.
But I could tell it was fustrating Carl.
When we got the river, I let the dog off the lead and walked on.
"You were going to tell me something?" he asked.
I sighed and looked across at the river. "I dont think I should."
"Please." he begged, and I couldnt resist those sparkling blue eyes, staring intently at me. And that crinkle between his eyebrows, marked with curiosity.
Carl.
I looked to the ground. Miremba was a beautiful girl. She had wavy brunette hair with big wide browny-green eyes. She wasn't skinny, but I wouldnt call her fat either. She didnt deserve what them people called her. She was really quite slim. I knew that I loved her, but not in this way. She was my one best friend. The one I could trust,
no matter what. I wish she only felt the same way I did. Now it was just awkward.
Miremba.
"Carl?" I whispered.
He took another breathe of the crisp cumbrian air and turned to face me. His eyes bore into mine and I felt like I was floating.
"Miri, you know I love you. Just not in that way."
I sighed, this time I turned my back.
"Miremba, please. Let me explain." he pleaded.
I turned back to him, scrunching my eyes to try and stop the forceful tears that were hiding, just waiting for something to send them over the top.
"I did actually consider asking you out, before I got to know you. Remember in geography? When we were in the libary."
"Yes."
"Well.. you know. I was trying to see if you really liked me. I did ask if you loved me."
I smiled shyly. "I thought you were being silly. No one ever likes me."
"Of course they do." he reached out and held my head between his hands, smiling at me. "Your the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world, and whoever cant see that,
are just plain stupid or blind." he smiled at me and pecked my cheek.
I blushed a bright, deep red.
"Thats so pretty." he said, brushing his finger across my cheek. "But then." he continued. "I realised how nice you were, I didnt want to spoil my friendship with you. We were really close, you know that and when two people our age go out it always works out bad,we're not ready for real relationships." he said. "I didnt want to lose you."
"I know, thats why I never chose to tell you until now. Because I didnt want to ruin our friendship." I told him.
"Im sorry, Miri."
I sighed. "I always knew we would never be."