Prologue

A quiet murmur weaving between the flickering candles. Weathered hands folded, head tilted, brows furrowed. Heavy incense smolders in the air.

"Umm... Jashin-sama, please grant the world eternal pain and suffering, plagues and... uh.. fire. Please, devour the souls of... humanity... and subject us to timeless torture and horror... grant us these things, O Great Lord. Thanks."

"Umm... is that good?"

Hidan bares his teeth, "No."

"Aw hell! What did I do wrong this time?"

"You forgot the fucking amen!" Hidan smashes his fists on the table, breaking his plate and knocking his chopsticks to the ground with a clatter.

- - - -

"Oh come on Hidan-san! I swear I can do it right!"

The trees, stretching for miles, should muffle his voice, but instead it echoes far, noise so loud it scatters birds from their nests.

Hidan's ears ring. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath.

"The fuck you can," Hidan swings the blunt side of his scythe, smacking his apprentice in the head, "You completely messed up the last ritual. Not only that, but you've just been a klutz this whole week... spilling the sacred blood, eating my blessed waffles, giving that money to the decrepit man, who may I remind you was a kumo-nin trying to assassinate me? I'm sure I've forgotten some things... I'm just surprised Jashin-sama has not smited us in our sleep."

"...Maybe he doesn't mind?"

Hidan shakes his head, "Jashin-sama... never forgets, never forgives... 's had more than nine thousand servants for a reason, Naruto-kun."

After this, Hidan grows quiet.

They tread lightly on the thick forest bed, hopping over fallen trees and logs, Hidan's careful eye lazily checking for traps and suspicious movement.

Their pace is painfully slow, Naruto's young mind unable to deal with the sea of green and mist... his mind errs, wondering how he can convince Hidan to teach him how to be a better "disciple".

But Hidan doesn't trust him. Why should he? Naruto knows he's screwed up a lot. If it wasn't for what Jashin-sama said... Hidan would have killed him a long time ago.

But how can he learn to be better if Hidan never gives him the chance? He has to convince Hidan somehow... somehow, that he's ready. But with what? How?

"Where are we headed?" Naruto asks suddenly, glancing up at Hidan, trying to find the man's golden eyes in the darkness provided by the hood of his brown and bloodied robe.

"Konoha. The place of your birth."

"Eh? I was born in Konoha?"

Hidan chuckles, "So it was told to me. Who knows?

"Someone there would know–"

"That's not why we're going there, though," he snorts, "No, there's a reason far more important for going to Konoha, the strongest of the nations."

"What's that?" Naruto ducks under a branch, swatting away a brush as he follows Hidan under two fallen trees.

"To give homage to Jashin-sama of course," Hidan chuckles, watching as Naruto struggles to climb up a steep and crumbling slope, "To finally bring about his resurrection."

The leaves are falling from the trees. It's autumn, and Uzumaki Naruto is about to return home.