Final Battle Parody
Voldy speaking to an interviewer about what REALLY happened at the final battle mwahahaha...
(including amusing hand actions)
"Well you see I was all like Avada Kedavra on his dumb little ass and then he was like totally deadz (speaking of Wormtail). And then Ron skipped by in a skimpy maid's outfit. I totally like couldn't help staring, mmhmm girlfriend that boy's got it going on! I like totally started to drool when completely out of the frikin blue harry pops up and he's like "don't you look at my bff like that yeh perve!" And he totally sent a fucking crucio at meh! Like oh my Merlin! What an arse! So I like totally made it backfire and Harry was like totally NUDE, COMMANDO, NEKKED! Draco then like totally popped up at that time and tripped over his shoelace falling into Harry's nude-ness. I then like totally burst into like gigglez! Then all my awesome death-eaters appeared because I had called them, the order following them and they all started to watch as draco and Harry had wild monkey butt smex! Like droolz Anywhatzimawhozet... Hermione had bumped into Ron and they were making out so I totally yelled "leave my sex-toy alone bitch!" and AK'd her. Nobody really cared though and went back to watching Harryxdraco smex. I then like totally walked up to Ron and groped him... mhmm... you heard me right! And then I was like SO shocked cause he totally bitch-slapped meh! So then I was like "no u didn't" and he was all like "oh yes I did snake face!" so then I'm like "Bring it on fruit chops!" and totally showed off my awesome karatey! but then Dumby distracted me by running by in a hula skirt and coconut bra. i totally turned my attention away from Ron and skipped after Dumby and we totally went skinny-dipping! Then because Draco and Harry had finished their butt smex all the watchers were mad, more so Lucius who got out his pimp cane sings pimp cane song ahem... and started beating his fellow death-eaters until two of them agreed to providing new butt smex shoes! But I didn't really care about that... anywho... yah that's pretty much how the final battle REALLY went... grin