Here it is my new One Shot !
I'm bored with James LaFleur so... I wrote something with Kate yelling at him... LoL
It was only a question of time, she had thought first. When she had seen all this Dharma life, this perfect life, well organized and everything. She had thought that they couldn't stay in 70's forever. It wasn't their time. It wasn't their world. She had thought it would end sooner or later.
She had thought it was about time that he would become what he was again. At least… she had hoped. But obviously, it was not the case… yet.
She was sitting on the steps of this Dharma yellow painted house which was supposed to be her "home", watching, bored, his Dharma yellow painted and perfect little house. There was a light in the kitchen. Sometimes she could see Juliet pass. Kate guessed she was cooking. Cooking for him… for them. She was bored even more now, imagining James Ford aka Sawyer, living a beautiful life, kind of like the Little House life. Even if he had watched the show when he was a kid, the man she knew was not the kind of man living like Charles Ingalls.
Damn it, Sawyer, she thought, what the hell happened to you?
She turned her gaze away, after having seen Juliet at the window making the dishes, she guessed once again, and James LaFleur giving her a peck on her lips. She stood up and walked back into the house. She poured herself a cup of Dharma coffee and went to sit on the windowsill. She looked up at the sky where the moon brightened. She closed her eyes; her fingertips moving on the top of the cup, and mentally counted the regular sounds of the clock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick… Tock… Tick…
******
Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Kate was sitting at the windowsill staring outside, a cup of tea in her hands.
"Kate?"
She didn't hear anything, still staring into space. A hand put on her knee and made her come back to Earth. Kate turned her head and met her friend's gaze.
"Are you alright?"
Kate nodded.
"Where's Aaron?"
"Upstairs, still sleeping. I put Clementine in bed. It's just the two of us now. Wanna talk?"
Kate shrugged. "What about?"
"What was on your mind few minutes ago?"
Kate shook her head. "Nothing interesting and you are not my psychologist, Cassidy. You're not obliged to listen to my problems each time I come over here..."
"All friends have to be psychologist." Cassidy answered, winking. "Come on. What were you thinking about?"
Before Kate could answer, Cassidy warned. "And tell me the truth, okay."
"I was thinking of him…"
Cassidy sighed. "Even miles away he hurts you. Do you realize that?"
"He doesn't hurt me…"
"Kate, how do you call the fact someone thinks about another person painfully?"
She shrugged.
"I call that hurt. And if you want a piece of advice you should keep your mind busy and do your best to forget him."
Kate stood up. "I don't want to stop thinking of him. I just can't stop, I have the impression if I stop… time will erase everything. And it's not fair to him, not fair to what we lived together."
"What do you think he would do in your shoes? Do you really think he would keep thinking of you? Because personally, I think he would try to move on this crash and erase everything which happened there, even you."
Kate knew Cassidy told her this to make her realize, but it didn't work. She refused to make that work.
"I need time..." She simply answered.
"I know."
" And I don't even think time will be enough, Cassidy…"
"It will, if you let it do…"
******
"Let it do…" She whispered, resting her head against the cold window. She could see the reflection of her sad eyes on the glass. Easy to do, huh?
Knock-Knock.
Kate looked up at the clock. 11pm. Who could come over to her house at that time? If it was Jack, she would get rid of him, she didn't want to talk with him tonight… She walked to the door and opened. Her heart and the time stopped around her. His blue eyes were looking down at her.
"Good Evening."
"It's better night, now. What are you doing here?"
"I came for a little chat…"
"Sorry… I was about going to bed."
"Oh…"
Telling the truth… Kate couldn't sleep anymore.
"Okay… So… Good Night."
He turned his heels. Her heart began to race, a longing desire traveling all inside her.
Tick. Tock. Tick…
Now or never…
It was now or never to tell him what she really thought and felt about him. Before now, she didn't have the strength, and maybe tomorrow her proud and self-confidence would prevent her from doing it. He went down the steps of the porch.
Tock. Tick. Tock…
"Wait a second." She had made a step outside, her bare feet feeling the cold wood of the porch. He turned.
"Why did you come over here?"
He was about answering but she cut him off. "And don't dare to lie to me, James. It doesn't work and you know that. Why did you come? What was on your mind when you decided to come to my house? What was on your mind when you knocked at my door?"
"I told you…"
"It's 11pm, James. Do you think I'm going to believe you came for a talk?"
"No, Kate. I just… okay! Fine! I was about asking to come with us tomorrow."
"I already gave you my answer. My answer is no."
"Why? Why don't you want to come with us? Why do you prefer to go with the Doc? Why do you prefer to be led by him than by me?"
"You should know I'm not led by anyone. I'm my own leader, James."
He sighed, turning his gaze away.
"Kate, we have no time for arguing."
"You're right. You are wasting my time. Go back to your fantasy life, James."
She turned, came in and slapped the door. Now it was not a cup of coffee she needed, but a glass of whiskey. She went to the kitchen, poured the cold coffee off her cup and grabbed the whiskey bottle in one of the cabinet. She swung around when the front door opened letting come in an angry James.
"What the hell do you mean by that, Freckles?" He closed the door violently that it made her jump on herself.
"Nothing! Let it go, James."
"Oh no. I'm not giving up, Freckles. Tell me now what's in your little head!"
"As you said, we don't have the time for arguing. Just leave it, Sawyer." She said, emphasizing on his pseudonym.
"So try to imagine the time stops, Sweetheart, because I'm not leaving."
She gave up. She threw the cup of coffee at him, he step aside to avoid it. She was angry, she was losing control on everything, she could stand this no more. She was tired, she was hurt, she was lost...
"Damn it! Why don't you just go, James? Why? Don't you see it's hurting me like hell? I just want you away! Go back to Juliet. Go back playing house!"
"What's your problem? It ends tomorrow any way, Freckles. "
"Really? I don't think so. I thought it would end sooner you know. Because I know you, you're not this kind of man who let be tamed by a woman, you're not this kind of man who likes to live in a golden cage, James. You need to be free. You're like me, you need to breathe, you need to feel alive. Are you feeling alive? Are you feeling alive inside these yellow painted walls?"
He remained silent; he knew she still had things to say.
"I can't believe Cassidy was so right about you. I can't believe I was so wrong… I didn't believe her when she told me you would move on if you were in my shoes. I didn't want to believe her, because I hoped you jumped off the chopper to save my life, but I was totally wrong. How could I have been so blind? I kept saying to myself, I will never forget you, that I didn't want time made me forget you… Why did I hold onto this little boy so much to replace a part of you? If I only knew you moved on me and what we lived together… I wouldn't have done all of these, looking for your daughter, holding onto Aaron as I did... I would have forgot you!"
She stared at him. James had stopped thinking, her words stabbing him. She moved to him and pushed him.
"Get out!"
"Kate…"
"I said get out now!" She shouted as loud as she could. "Get out James Lafleur, because I thought you could become Sawyer again. But I think it's too late now. You missed the 2007 train, destination Real World!"
She passed him and opened the door.
"Get out!"
Her heart beat faster than the tick-tock of the clock now. She trembled. She wanted to scream, she wanted to slap him and tell him "It's about time to make Sawyer come back because I need him." Yes, because she needed him.
James turned and moved to the door, but instead of leaving. He pushed the door, Kate tried to resist but it closed. Their eyes were locked. His hands cupped her head, she tried to escape but he was strong.
"Didn't you try to move on Kate? When you were engaged with Jack?"
"It was fake. It was wrong. I realized it and I ended it. But you, you are living a fake life and you don't realize it."
She shook her head trying to stop the heartbeat sounds mixed with the clock tickings in her head.
"Want a secret, Sweet Cheeks? My life is totally faked."
Her heart beat.
Tock.
"I built it to stop suffering."
She stoped breathing.
Tick.
"To stop thinking of the pain of my loss."
She closed her eyes.
Tock.
"The pain of you away from me."
Tick.
He kissed her.