Disclaimer: I don't own instant star, their characters, or any songs.
Jude's pov
I was sleeping and I heard a knock at the door. I stirred in my bed then stopped and laid flat on my back as my eyes fluttered open. I sighed feeling really tired knowing I just went to bed like 20 minutes ago from my date with Spied.
"Come in" a said wearily in a groggily voice not knowing who to expect but to my surprise it was him just standing in my door way leaning against it.
I looked at him and then at my alarm clock that blinked 2:06 am and then back at him.
Why the hell is he here I'm trying to get over him and here he is standing in my door way to MY FREAKIN BED ROOM…wait I am over him damn it, this is total and complete bullshit…I…I need him to get out….NOW.
I start to move my mouth to talk but he shakes his head no and I can't talk all of a sudden.
I try but I can't talk. So I sit up in the middle of my bed and watch as he walks in, closes my door, locks it, and strides towards me slowly knowing my every thought.
Knowing I wanted to know why he was here when he didn't want me and shay to be together let alone kiss but he could play tonsil hockey with my sister and then date her while he's at it.
Knowing I wanted to know why he kissed me on my sixteenth birthday and made me take it back while handing my broken heart back too.
Knowing I wanted to know why he hated the fact that even though I went on the tour he wanted me to go on I started dating my best friend, Jamie.
Knowing I wanted to know why he didn't want me to be with Spied together by telling me not to be a Yoko to my own band but had to let me because he was still dating my sister and didn't want to admit things
Knowing I wanted to know why he hid his feelings for me while I gave mine to him head on like Patsy would say. Well, any ways I did and he didn't but why is he here now.
He stopped at the side of my bed and chuckled at the expression of my face. I was sad, embarrassed, and confused and he could see it. He didn't know why but he could see all of it.
I was sad because I really loved him and I'm still with Spied. We were together for so long I just accepted the fact that I could never fully love who I wanted too. I then let myself believe I was happy in just being loved instead of loving some one back.
I was embarrassed because the tang top I had on was the one with the ripped strap and since I hadn't done laundry this week half of my shirt was under my right breast as the left one hid it securely under the strap that was still there.
I was confused because I need to know why he was here and he knew it was time to tell me too but just hearing him chuckle took my breath away. I smiled and realized I did so I whipped it off my face as quickly as I could but to my dismay he seen it.
That's when he became more serious. He looked down and we both knew he was going to say what he came here to say. To say I was sacred would be an understatement.
He looked up at me then back down and sighed. I watched curiously know wanting to know what his heart was trying to push him to do.
He looked back up at me but this time his eyes locked with mine, "ummm…Jude I need to tell you something….before it's too late" he quickly added.
I was now shocked Tommy was actually trying to be truthful to me about his feeling for me…I think.
I panicked I had to stop him what would happen if he says what I think he wants to say. I don't think I could handle what I did next. I couldn't handle what my heart would tell me to do because I know my mind would let me do it.
I had to, I started to ramble, "How did you get in here, what are you doing, why are you doing this now when-" He cut me off.
"Jude if I don't get this out I don't think I could live…you mean to much to me" He said in a whisper and then looked down ashamed at himself.
I couldn't help it; I grabbed his arm and gently pulled him down on the bed with me not really thinking about how big it was.
As soon as he fell down his body was half way on top of mine and my hormones started to get antsy feeling the electric spark. I looked into his big blue eyes and he started to speak again.
I could smell the cologne he was wearing and sniffed in the intoxicating smelling knowing he was probably smelling the vanilla shampoo I always wear.
I took my hands and put them through his chocolaty brown hair not really aware of my actions. Knowing I feely shouldn't be doing this but I couldn't help it.
"Jude I lo-" This time I cut him off.
Not only did I know what he was about to say, I didn't want him to say it. I did but not now it wasn't the timing so I cut him off by crashing my lips onto his.
I tired to just kiss him without meaning but something happened. As soon as his lips touched mine it was like I was struck with lighting.
His hands started to creep to my sides and start to rub up and down but I couldn't stop them I didn't want to stop them.
My hand traveled down to his bulge in his pants that I had just created and roughly rubbed him and he grew harder.