~ June, 14 years ago ~

Color Flourish awoke with a grunt, finding herself lying on the hard concrete floor of her studio. Groaning again, she sat up and put her hoof to her head, trying to assess her situation. Her mane was a mess, her fur splayed out the wrong direction in places, and her head was pounding. She had no recollection of the past twelve hours, and she certainly did not know when or how she'd gotten back to the studio. She noticed that one of the plastic sheets she normally used to cover works in progress had been thrown over her haphazardly to act as a sort of blanket. She was confused over how she could have consciously made the decision to sleep on the floor of all places.

Color Flourish squinted and tried to pull yesterday's memories together. She remembered feeling anger, frustration, depression… But over what? Whatever it was that had put her in this state of emotion, she remembered it had driven her out of the studio… She was going someplace unfamiliar, somewhere she didn't normally visit- A certain restaurant, perhaps? Suddenly a wave of nausea swept away her effort to remember, and she forced herself up weakly to look for the bathroom.

After an unpleasant episode of vomiting and surging headaches, she dragged herself upstairs to her bedroom to rest. Sickly and exhausted, she cocooned herself in a blanket on her bed and peered out the little window that overlooked the street of neighboring shops and Ponyville cottages. She held her stomach making an uneasy face and continued to puzzle over the hours so strongly obliterated from her memory. Her symptoms were that of a hangover, but surely it couldn't be; she rarely touched alcohol and whenever she did, she certainly never overindulged herself. Although, it would explain the amnesia… She found her breath reeked of beer when she tested it against her hooves. So it was a bar. She must have gone to a bar yesterday. And had way too much beer while she was at it. It was at this point that she decided whatever had possessed her to make such a stupid decision was probably something worth forgetting anyway.

Color Flourish awoke again from a far more pleasant nap in her soft bed a few hours later. She was pleased to discover that the effects of her hangover had died down greatly, and she went downstairs to feed herself food that would help her function properly. It was after she made herself a snack and checked in on the shop portion of her studio that she was reminded of one of the many things that had been adding to her stress. Business had been very slow lately, and she'd made no profit whatsoever for the past five days. The upside to this at the very least was that she could have more free time to work on her personal projects.

She turned back around, stepping into the studio room, and observed the personal works she'd started throughout the week. One in particular immediately drew her attention; she let out a sigh upon seeing it, half smiling. It was a painting of a black stallion with glossy orange eyes, his mane yet to be colored. She couldn't help but hate herself sometimes for setting her heart so stubbornly on him, especially since he was the husband and a father of a separate family now. She still couldn't understand what it was that was so wrong with her which had made Lightning Dash stop loving her, and why he would probably never love her again. She tried to dismiss these morbid thoughts by thinking of Clover, Lightning's sweet little two-year-old daughter. She would watch the filly from her bedroom window every time she and her family went down the street to go to the park, waddling on her little toddler hooves and laughing with her parents. She wished she could have a filly like that. Sometimes, she wished Clover was her daughter. To be in her mother's place was so bold a thought, a feeling so wrong but so right, that it made Color Flourish's heart flutter with excitement every time she had it. And every time, it was always a stab in the chest to know that it would never happen.

Both out of embarrassment and grief, Color Flourish decided thinking about Clover any more would only keep riling her up. She mentally changed the subject- Her goal was made.

Today would be the day she finished that painting.

~ ~ ~

Color Flourish watched her son trotting beside her, cherishing every little aspect of his character. She loved the way he seemed to subconsciously put a little bounce in his step depending on his mood, and the way his red-orange eyes would sparkle when he was gleeful. She loved his white hooves that looked like socks against his navy blue coat, and the unusual purple splash of fur on his chest. After all that she'd put him through in the past couple days, she felt like she didn't deserve such a beautiful, smart child. She was very impressed with how maturely he'd spoken to the adults at the hospital, and was baffled at how he could ever have found the bravery she herself had been lacking to talk to his father for the first time.

Color Flourish smiled. "I'm very proud of you, Blotch. I hope you know that."

"Yep! I know," he chortled.

She chuckled back. "Oh, Blotchy. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve to be put through all of this."

"It's fine, Momma, really."

"Well, no, it's not fine. You'd probably have a better life if I'd just been a little more mature, and responsible…" She began to choke on her wavering voice.

"Momma…"

Flourish cleared her throat and readjusted her tone. "Ahem- If I had just done the right thing from the beginning, we'd probably have something better than what we do now. And I'm just- I'm so proud of you for being able to do what I can't. I'm a terrible mother."

Color Blotch looked almost offended. "Momma, don't say that. That's not fair. You've done the best you can, and that's what matters."

Color Flourish smiled through the tears on her cheeks. "Oh, come here, you." Flourish held her son close. Blotch embraced his mother in return. "I love you, Momma. I always will."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"The day I lose your love is the day I lose purpose in life, Blotch. You are everything to me. Never forget that."

"I won't forget."