"In the end, it never matters. Blood is spilt. People die. Villains justify their actions while the innocent are convicted. No-one cares anymore who did it, as long as they have someone to blame. It falls down to men like Shepard. Men who defy this fact of life. Men who give their lives more than once for those who have forsaken them. The heroes, these martyrs, are some of the VERY few who do not do things for themselves."
The soft, electronic light of the Citadel bathed Kaiden Alenko in an aura of false heroism. The incorrect assumption that the spotlight-ee was a good man. The man in question knew this. He knew that he did not deserve peace or happiness after the unforgivable thing he did back on Horizon.
Horizon. Huh. That damned planet and it's damned events. Ever since that day he had woken up in the middle of the night screaming, not for himself, but for his commander. Shepard. The only man who actually took the time to crack the hard shell that Kaidan had built around himself. The only man he could truly call a friend. Oh, yes, the others of the old crew had gotten along well with him and vice versa, but he didn't have the bond, that deep connection that he shared with Shepard.
The commander was the closest thing to a brother Kaiden had ever had, and all for the sake of a few years absence he had accused his brother presumptuously and quickly of siding with Cerberus. His dialogue on Horizon had hurt Shepard deeply, he could tell.
He shouldn't have screwed it up. But he did.
If there ever a second chance was, Kaiden would do more than die for it. He would endure the depths of hellish, inhumane torture to win back the brotherhood he shared with Shepard.
Unfortunately, he feared, he had damned that bond to hell the second he opened his mouth before thinking. The venom in his voice was the true factor in deciding the fate of their friendship.
No use wallowing in Pity though. Pity never was of any use to anyone. Certainly not Kaiden Alenko.
If only he could receive a second chance.
Kaiden laughed at the prospect. A second chance would never come. He had already destroyed it.