Hi there - I suppose I should introduce myself or something since this is my 'first time' posting here (that's a lie, I used to write stuff for the Victorious fandom, but since I was only about 13/14, the content was pretty shocking and I swiftly removed it when I realised).
So as my profile suggests, I'm 18 and from the UK. Woot woot. My name is Zoe and my twitter is justicelizas if anyone is interested. Feel free to hmu. I started watching The Fosters last year some time, probably around August and I just really got this urge to write again, so here we are!
Its actually taken me a while to build the courage to post this, since I just feel like my writing is so mediocre and that people will think that too. Which sucks since I used to love writing when I was little and actually dreamed of being an author for the longest time. But things change. However, I just wanted to get my work out there and see if people maybe actually enjoyed what I do, so here goes.
I just love Stef and Callie's relationship on the show and enjoy writing about it. If anyone wants to suggest some prompts, I might have a go at writing them - but no promises. They don't have to include those two, but they're who I find the easiest to write about and connect with, so they'll probably be my main focus. No Brallie though. Sorry to disappoint any shippers.
I may get a multi-chapter fic up some day, however being an A-Level student and all, I don't have much spare time. That and I'm too lazy and often lose interest before I can finish, so I try not to even start. Most of my stories are written on my Notes on my phone when I can't sleep or am procrastinating college work.
This is really a reflection of me getting mad about everyone saying Callie is stupid for her decision in the episode. I get that it may be the worse of the two options, but I feel like people forget Callie's past sometimes and how vulnerable she can feel. And this might shine some light on a reason Callie chose the way she did. Just a personal viewpoint.
So yeah. That's about it. Hope you enjoy, I suppose. Feel free to leave reviews and all that jazz! (And thanks if you really read all that, I probably wouldn't)
"Love, can I talk to you for a second?" Stef asked, standing at the doorway of the girls' room.
Callie, laying in her bed, looked up the the blonde and sat up, nodding her head.
Stef sighed. Ever since coming back from juvie, the girl had been so withdrawn. She didn't talk around the dinner table at any of their meals, sat in silence through any family nights and apparently hadn't been speaking up much in class. It had been a little over a week and all she did was sit in silence looking as if she was having a constant internal battle with herself, and the cop didn't know why.
On top of that, she had chosen to take the risk rather than take the plea, despite knowing the consequences. Her only justification was that she 'couldn't go back there'. Stef knew Callie didn't like juvie - she didn't the first two times she was there - but she didn't think she would take the choice of freedom from juvie with a possible 5 year prison sentence, over 8 months there with a record wiped clean. Something must've gone on for her to think that was the better option.
She sat down beside the teenager and put her arm around her, pulling her close and kissing her temple.
"Did something happen in juvie?" She asked, rubbing the girl's arm and feeling her tense. There was her answer, even if she didn't get one verbally.
"No," the girl mumbled.
"Cal, don't lie to me," Stef said sternly.
"I'm not," Callie said, a bit louder.
"I'm not stupid, Callie. You've been quiet for over a week, haven't eaten much and made that bizarre decision in court," Stef spoke, "now tell me what went on."
"I don't want to talk about it," Callie said, trying to get up and out of the room.
"Uh-uh-uh, little lady. We're not doing this again," the cop shook her head, pulling the girl back down, "we have to talk about things remember? You can't keep these feelings bottled inside."
Stef could see Callie reverting to her old self, much like the girl who first came to stay with them. The girl who had so many secrets that she wouldn't spill until they got too much, or the girl who made reckless decisions when she was scared, anxious and afraid. She thought they had worked through those tough times, learning to think more rationally about her decisions and open up about her feelings — letting those walls down. But something was triggering off the defence mechanism again and the blonde didn't like it.
"It's not that big of a deal," the teenager waved off. Stef widened her eyes, shook her head and laughed.
"It is if it's making you act like this, Callie. Come on. Talk to Momma," Stef smiled, "we can't sort this out if you don't tell me what's going on."
"You can't sort it out anyway!" Callie exclaimed, getting frustrated and again trying to get out of Stef's grasp.
"Callie! We don't shout in this house," Stef scolded.
"Well you're making me mad! Just leave me alone! There's nothing to talk about," she cried.
"Love, please calm down," Stef frowned, "I'm sorry I'm making you mad. But you can't keep doing this to yourself. You need to use your words, baby."
"I'm fine. Please just leave me alone. Nothing happened," Callie sighed.
"If nothing happened, then why are you upset? Why did you get into an altercation with a guard?" Stef questioned.
"I didn't!" Callie cried, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. The sight broke the mothers heart, and she hugged her baby to her chest.
"Oh, my love. It's okay," she soothed, trying to get the teenager to calm down. She hushed her and held her close, rocking back and forth whilst stroking her hair. After the girl had calmed down and stopped crying, Stef kissed the top of her head and pulled her away.
"I didn't get in an altercation with the guard," Callie hiccuped.
"I know, bug. I believe you," Stef smiled, "please talk to me. Tell me what really happened."
Stef gave the girl a few minutes to gather her thoughts before speaking. She knew from previous experience with the girl that it may take her a little time to start talking, so she waited patiently for her to start.
"A–after I had all my checks and filled out the forms, they took me to my dorm and showed me my bed. I just felt so lonely and scared, so I laid there. I didn't even bother making the sheets," Callie began explaining.
"Why were you scared?" Stef asked.
"Because I was all alone. And they made me fill out this form even though I told them I already had," she explained, "saying it was about prison rape elimination."
Stef closed her eyes. She understood why that might be upsetting for Callie. Even if she had moved on as much as she could from the whole Liam situation, she still know it was a hard subject for Callie to think and talk about. Especially with people she doesn't know or trust.
"But anyway. Urm. I had been laying for about... I don't know, twenty minutes? When a guard came into the room," she carried on, "he went over to the girl in the bunk behind me and tapped her shoulder, and she went with him somewhere. I don't know where."
Stef's eyes snapped back open at that revelation. A male guard? In a female juvenile detention centre? Can they even do that?
"The girl, the next day, she asked me if was coming to the party that night and I said no. Asked me if I didn't get high," Callie continued, "I told her I did, but I just didn't want to. I just wanted her off my back."
"They had drugs in there?!" Stef cried, interrupting the story. Callie nodded in response.
"We were on the way to the yard the next morning when the same guard stopped me. Started talking to me about how he missed me at the party. Wanted me to be there," Callie said, clearly starting to feel more on edge judged by the grasp she had on the bed sheets that turned her knuckles white, "I apologised and got back into the line. He scared me so much. I thought he was going to hurt me."
Stef comforted her daughter and wiped her tears when a few fell from her sad brown eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. No wonder the girl had been so withdrawn and reluctant to go back there. She was scared. Scared that one of the guards was going to hurt her – or worse – if she went back. But she wondered why she hadn't told anyone.
"Love, why didn't you tell anyone?" Stef asked.
"Like they're going to believe me," Callie scoffed, "I'm a kid barely out of the foster system with two previous stays in juvie, one in a group home and with felony charges on my head."
Stef sighed again. It was true. Callie's record wasn't the cleanest and without knowing the reasons why for each thing listed, they would automatically see her as a lost cause criminal. Only her family and friends knew that wasn't true. Only her family and friends knew the real reasons why those things had happened, and how that she wasn't really a cold blooded criminal, but just a loving, caring girl who sometimes made bad choices and did everything to protect those she cares about.
"So when we are outside, the girl comes to the me again. Mouthing off about leaving Joey alone, that he's her man. Not mine," Callie said, "I told her she had nothing worry about. That he was hers. But later on, she was throwing up into the toilet. Everyone just sat there and did nothing. So I called a guard myself and they took her down to the infirmary. I didn't know what to think. I thought at first maybe she was pregnant. That that asshole had had sex with her and got her pregnant."
"Callie. Language please," Stef muttered, hating to have to when she knew her daughter was just upset and frustrated.
"Sorry," she apologised, wiping angry tears from her cheeks, "I was just mad."
"I know, love. I understand," the cop reassured her.
"But it was just an effect from the drugs he gave her. The lady asked me if she knew where she had gotten them and what she had took. I wanted to tell her I knew who gave them to her, but I saw him down the end of the corridor and I just couldn't. I was too scared. I'm so stupid!" Callie cried, hitting the side of her head with her hand and crying.
"Hey, hey, hey. Don't do that, love. It's okay. You're not stupid. People get afraid sometimes. It's human," Stef reassured the teen, pulling her arm away and lacing their fingers together to stop her from doing it again. She hummed to her to try and calm her again, holding her close as they swayed.
"Later on, he came up to me in the halls when I was mopping the floor. He was mad because now they knew there were drugs in there and would look for them," Callie continued, "I told him I hadn't told them about him, and that I wasn't going to. Then he said something along the lines of 'I know you won't'. Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed my bucket, and threw it into the window so it smashed. Then called for back up from the other guards, saying that my 'attitude would get me into trouble'. They came running and threw me into the fence, put cuffs on my wrist and locked me in solitary until my hearing."
Stef was disgusted at what she was hearing. A guard deliberately getting a teenager into trouble to cover his own ass? What the hell? And she couldn't bare the thought of her baby being locked in a room all by herself for the amount of time she had. That was like, what, a day? Day in a half? She had seen those rooms with the grubby white walls, steel toilet and thin green mattress in the corner. Her heart broke for her daughter who had got chucked in there for no reason. It brought her back to how angry she was when she found out Helen had locked her in her bedroom at night for the two or three days she was staying there.
"It was horrible. I thought I was going insane. All the noises gave me a headache and I just wanted to scream. Pull the door down and run away," Callie admitted, "but I eventually fell asleep and the next day they told me I had my hearing. All I knew was that I couldn't go back there. Back to that creep. Especially not for 8 months which no one to protect me."
"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that," Stef sighed, "you should've said something. Talked to me or Mama about it."
"I was just so scared," Callie cried, "I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to pretend it never happened."
"I know, bug. I'm going to sort it out, okay? See if there's anything I can do," Stef promised, stopping her daughter as she began to protest, "and no buts."
Callie sighed and laid against the woman, feeling exhausted from both the emotive story and lack of sleep. She just couldn't manage to after juvie. All she heard was the same noises she did that night in solitary, and saw the face of the guard who made her feel anxious. Sometimes it even morphed into Liam and that scared her more.
She felt Stef shift her weight so that they were laying down on the bed. Looking up, she met her eyes.
"Go to sleep, love. I know you're tired. Mariana has been moaning about how you keep tossing and turning at night," Stef comforted, "just rest. I've got you and I'm not going anywhere."
Callie nodded and closed her eyes, feeling happy; for in that moment, she felt safe again.