Welcome to my first story for The Flash! I'll keep this authors note at the beginning short so you can just read the story, but I have a longer one at the end you should read! :) But if you're here, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story!
(P.S. who else is PUMPED for the intro of Breacher & Elongated man tonight? I know I am! :D)
Disclaimer: I don't own The Flash or anything related at all. They belong to The CW, DC Comics, & any other related parties.
Joe's POV
Numb. Hollow. Crushed.
The ride back to the house was deathly silent. No one spoke and no one made eye contact.
The only sound that could be heard was sniffling and silent sobs from behind him.
He felt numb. Cold as ice, absolutely destroyed. He was surprised he'd held it together this long. The only thought on his mind was to keep it together until he reached the safety of his own bedroom.
Then he could cry. But he refused to do it in front of Iris and Wally.
Jay had left for this earth not long after it happened. And it honestly pained Joe to see someone else leave. Even if it was a man he barely knew.
It was a stupid feeling but Jay felt like the last hope, the last connection to the speedforce. He knew more about it than anyone else there. And Joe hadn't wanted to lose that.
He didn't envy Harry, who had been vibed to Star Labs by Gypsy. Having to sleep in that giant facility all alone. Harry had declined Joe's offer to stay at his house. The man had been quieter than Joe had ever seen him.
Cisco seemed just as shaken as himself and Wally, barely able to focus on getting into his car without the help of Gypsy.
Joe was glad she was here. Out of everyone tonight, she knew Barry the least. Which meant she was the least attached and could direct everyone to go home. Because right after the speedforce closed, they just stood there, staring at the spot where Barry had disappeared.
Wally was doing his best to stay strong too. He wouldn't look at Joe either, just stared out his window with arms crossed, occasionally swiping a hand over his eyes or sniffling. Joe wished he knew what was going on in his sons head.
And Iris...
It had taken nearly forty-five minutes to coax her into getting into the car. And even then she merely curled up against the back window and cried.
The sound shook him to his very core. Hearing his baby girl in that much pain was like having a dozen knives piercing his heart all at once.
Losing Barry tonight had been one of the worst feelings he'd ever experienced in his entire life. The desperation, the heartache, the fear. All of it was still clogged in his throat. The initial heartache was almost as painful as when he thought he'd lost Iris to Savitar.
Only this was much worse now because it was lasting. They learned pretty quickly that it was actually HR. But this, this was a long-lasting pain.
Which is why he couldn't even fathom how Iris must've felt. To lose someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with? He couldn't imagine a worse emotional burden to bear.
They arrived at house and for a few minutes after Joe took the keys out of the ignition, and they all just sat there.
The world didn't feel right anymore. It was a different place without Barry Allen and Joe hated it. Not even a full day after he thought he lost Iris, he lost Barry. For good.
The happy-faced boy that he brought into his home, the one who had endured so much pain and loss but still remained hopeful, was gone.
He was feeling sick again, so he tore his eyes away from the spot on the dashboard he'd been staring at and unbuckled his seat.
"Come on. We should try and sleep." Joe spoke, his voice hoarse and shaky.
Wally nodded, still not speaking as he got out of the car and slammed the door shut.
Iris didn't move an inch.
So Joe got out of the car and went around to her door, opening it and kneeling down beside her.
"Iris. You need to get inside. You can't stay in the car, baby girl." Joe spoke lowly, as Wally opened the front door and went inside without a word.
Iris, who'd been staring with tears in her eyes, let loose with a sob, throwing her arms around Joe.
He caught her, not all that surprised at her movement.
"D-dad- he- I-" She stuttered, tears streaming down her face.
Joe closed his eyes painfully at the sound, squeezing her tightly into his chest.
"Shhh. I know, look its- we're going to get through this. Somehow we will." Joe spoke into her hair, feeling her tears soak his shirt.
She mumbled something incoherently against him, so he pulled away just enough to look into her face.
"We will Iris, we have to. If not for ourselves, then for Barry." Joe voice cracked at his last words, his throat clogged with emotion.
His words seem to send a shock through her body. She released another gut-wrenching sob, but nodded her head, reaching to unbuckle her seat.
He allowed her to lean against him as he shut the door and locked the car, leading her into the house. He legs were a little shaky so he guided her up the stairs. He'd never seen Iris so emotionally compromised before which terrified to him his very core.
In the time they were outside, Wally had changed into his pajamas and lit a fire.
It was the only light source aside from the moon outside, so shadows from the flame flickered across the walls, creating a peaceful, warm atmosphere.
Wally's eyes were rimmed red, but he managed a very weak smile. It wasn't quite a happy smile, but it made Joe feel a tiny bit better nonetheless.
Wally cleared his throat, stepping forward a little. "Hey Iris, I um, I set up a warm bath for you upstairs. If you want."
His son's gesture warmed his heart and he was so glad he had Wally here with him. He didn't know how he could help Iris through this alone.
Iris nodded. She was no longer sobbing but the sad frown, soaked cheeks, and bloodshot eyes told him she was no where near ready to speak normally.
She tore away from Joe and walked up the stairs, almost in a trance.
Joe and Wally watched her go, at a complete and utter loss for words. How do you comfort someone when you're feeling just as lost and torn-apart inside?
When they heard the bathroom door click shut, Joe turned to face Wally. He immediately took his son into his arms, hugging him tightly.
Joe choked back a cry of his own when he felt Wally shaking with silent sobs.
Losing someone like Barry, someone who had only ever been open and kind despite mistakes he and others made, was like having a piece of you missing.
Wally, who didn't know Barry nearly as well as Joe and Iris, or even Cisco, could feel the hole that had formed in his life.
They pulled away after a few moments and sat back on the couch.
"Dad?" Wally asked, his face streaked with tears as he stared at the flames.
"Hmm?" Joe asked, he wasn't going to even bother getting changed. He didn't want to get up.
Wally sighed, his nose stuffed up as he curled into himself. "Do you think we'll ever see him again?"
Joe's stomach clenched, he wanted to say with absolute certainty that they would. But dark thoughts were creeping into his head that told him that was impossible. The speedforce was not something one wanted to mess with. And if it needed Barry in there, it sure as hell wasn't going to let him leave without another big sacrifice.
But he didn't have the heart to tell Wally that. And he wasn't sure if he could even get the words out if he tried.
"I hope so, Wally. Maybe one day."
There was so much uncertainty surrounding his life now. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring, how he was going to handle everything.
All Joe knew was that he was grateful he still had the other people in his life. He didn't want to think about how life would be if he didn't have his family to rely on.
Now, go easy on me because this is my first story. I have a ton of stuff written in my notes app but I've never published anything. But I strongly encourage any constructive criticism.
Let me clarifiy that I absolutely ADORED everything the premiere episode of season 4 and I totally and completely understand why they brought Barry back in the first episode. He's the main character and this is a network show that relies on ratings. Nuff said.
But since this is fanfiction, I thought it would be fun to explore the kinds of things that happened in those six months and how everyone got on their season 4 paths. The first 7-12 chapters most likely won't have Barry in the flesh, but his presence will certainly play a major role AND he'll defintely be in the story. You'll just have to be patient and stick with me.
And yes, as you can see, this story is based in the time between seasons 3 & 4. Beyond that, I will either make it go AU, or I'll start following along with the episodes this season (which have been FANTASTIC btw). So all that is to be decided.
The next three chapters will be Wally, Cisco, and Iris' pov. So stay tuned for those! (i.e. review, fav, follow ;) )
Thus concludes this absurdly long authors note.
Until next communion!