The beginning of a series that we hope you enjoy! :D
Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto, or any other shows we have referred to in this story. The Abridged Series Stories is based on the Naruto Abridged Series by MasakoX and Vegeta3986.
The Abridged Series Stories
Ch. 1- I'm A Real Boy!
And so it began with the Nine-Tails…
"Nine-Tails, I choose you!"
"Oh dear God, what kind of Pokémon is that?!"
"Ever since Pokémon USA got the licence, it hasn't been the same. They've had to use steroids on the Pokémon just to keep the ratings up!"
Meanwhile, two people flying above on air gliders had devised a plan to help Konoha.
"We'll capture this rare Nine-Tails and give it to Giovani!" yelled the man known as James.
"To protect the world from devastation!" called Jessie, his partner.
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
They looked at each other, a gleam in their eyes, and nodded.
"Team Rocket's blasting off again!"
Thanks to Jessie and James' sacrifice the Fourth Hokage, instead of doing the intelligent thing and killing the fox, merely imprisoned it inside the body of an annoying naked baby; condemning him to twelve years of horrible torture.
**********
After years had passed and the truth became known to this man known as Iruka, he decided to confront the Hokage about this decision. When he was younger he had witnessed the fox's destruction through his own eyes.
"You're kidding me, right?" he asked outright, looking at the Hokage like he was crazy.
"Well, that's just how we do things around here!" the old man replied coolly.
**********
Twelve years later, we present the son of General Larry…uh... I mean, Naruto.
"Heh, man I really wanna become Hokage, believe it! So to show my respect I'm painting graffiti all over their stone faces!"
Later that day two ninja finally figured out who'd done it, so they decided to catch Naruto… well, all I can say is they chased him all over town.
"You crazy kid! How could you do that?!" yelled one as he puffed on after the child.
However, neither man had any luck catching Naruto, who eventually out-ran them enough to find a good hiding place.
"It sure was hard running with my eyes closed! Believe it!"
All anime do it Naruto, all anime do it…
**********
The next day in class Iruka decided to punish all his students for Naruto's bad behaviour.
"Ok everyone. Since Naruto's an arsetard you're all gonna have to do a transformation test."
"But I have a note from my doctor saying I can't be in anime any longer than 52 episodes. Can I go home?" called one student.
Iruka could tell he was just trying to get out of doing the test, but let him leave anyway.
He turned to the rest of the class and got them to line up at the front of the room.
"Bitch, you're up," Iruka called to Sakura.
**********
After Sakura had completed her transformation into Iruka-sensei and got told she failed at life anyways (yes, by Iruka) she turned to the black-haired ninja who looked bored out of his mind.
"Did you see that Sasuke?!" Sakura asked, slightly crazy-like, to the boy whom she adored.
"Shut… the hell up… you STALKER," he replied. Why, he thought, did HE have to have crazy girls after him all the time? Seriously, it was annoying.
"AHEM! Alright Naruto. Now you have to defy the laws of nature and clone yourself," Iruka said.
"Cloning?! Isn't that against religion and morals?!"
"We're ninja, we don't have those things!" replied Iruka, beginning to get annoyed with the blonde-haired boy.
After deciding he really didn't care for morals anyway, Naruto gave his task a go…
"Super-special-awesome-gay-transformation GO!"
… only to transform into Yugi. O_o
"Hey, this isn't my parody, believe it!"
This made Iruka furious. So furious, in fact, that it caused his nose to bleed.
"NARUTO!!! That's Little Kuriboh's idea! That's fan copyright infringement!!" he screamed at the boy.
"It's ok sensei, after all, this series is way more popular than Yu-Gi-Oh. We'll get fans even if I didn't come up with a really crappy catch phrase like 'believe it'!"
"Naruto, I'll buy you Ramen if you never say that again…" Iruka just about begged of his student.
"I won't make any promises!" But Ramen does sound enticing, Naruto thought to himself.
**********
Days later the academy held it's exams for the students to become Genin. All students passed… All but one…
Sitting on the swing placed out the front of the academy, Naruto was immensely upset. Hearing what some of the friends and family of the graduates were saying didn't help either.
"Is that ninja wearing an orange jumpsuit?"
"Wasn't that the boy who was the only one to fail the exam?"
"I don't like the way he looked at my granddaughter."
"Generic random insult!"
"Haw haw haw haw haw haw haw haw haaawwww!"
**********
Later that afternoon Naruto went to sit and ponder his thoughts upon one of the towns' rooftops.
"Why can't I become a real boy?" :'(
As the sun was setting, Naruto was joined by a ninja that found out Naruto had failed the exam.
"Hey Naruto, wanna become a ninja?" Mizuki asked.
Naruto took only a small moment to think through his options.
"Meh," he replied, "close enough."
**********
Meanwhile…
Iruka was having a day of memories; childhood memories…
"How in the hell did I get this giant scar across my face? "he pondered. "Maybe it was back then…"
Flashback
"Wait, Mum and Dad are still back there!" the child-Iruka screamed. He was being carried away by a man. This was when the Nine-Tailed Fox was attacking the village.
"It's too late kid!" yelled the man back at Iruka.
"What are you talking about?! We just went shopping for towels!!"
"Shut up kid. When its black and white that means you got screwed in your childhood!" the man replied, all-knowing.
End flashback
It was then that Iruka had a sudden realization…
"Wow," he said to himself, "I had a really crappy voice when I was little!"
Iruka gave a slight shudder in disgust.
**********
Late that night, when it was discovered that an important scroll was missing from its containment, the Hokage called upon the ninja that were supposedly guarding it.
"It appears that a student, who didn't even graduate from the academy, somehow got past 5 chunin, 7 jounin and 5 genin and stole our most precious scroll. Can someone please explain to me how this happened?!" the Hokage demanded.
"We're sorry Hokage…" the ninja replied simultaneously, sounding like school children.
The Hokage frowned back.
"You guys are the worst ninja ever!" he yelled.
One ninja up front replied with what he probably thought was the best reply ever.
"Naw man, he is!" O_o
**********
Iruka, who was frantically searching for Naruto so as to find him before anyone else, finally came across him in the forest just outside the towns' walls where Iruka's class used to go to practice. The boy looked slightly worn out.
"Naruto, did you steal the scroll?" Iruka asked the boy, between his slightly hysteric laughs.
"Uh… Noooooo… O_o" Naruto replied innocently, smiling and scratching his head.
Iruka wasn't convinced.
"Then what's that on your back?" he tried again.
Naruto stood up from the ground.
"It's a bleach wall scroll!" said the boy, his smile wide.
Iruka shrugged, "Oh, ok then!"
He began to make polite conversation when both pupil and sensei heard a noise above them. Mizuki was standing slightly off balance on a tree branch.
"Give me the scroll!" he demanded of Naruto.
This baffled Iruka.
"Hey, you said it wasn't the scroll!" He looked at Naruto, upset, as though the boy had two-timed him.
Naruto looked at him guiltily and replied with the only word that came to mind.
"Whoops!
**********
Mizuki was getting angry and annoyed by this… well… this annoying boy.
"If you don't give me the scroll I'll be forced to throw this ridiculous thing at you!" he yelled, referring to the weapons he was carrying on his back.
Iruka looked at Mizuki like he was an idiot.
"You know, if Naruto was able to steal the scroll you probably could have just gone and got it yourself."
"Well, uh… Shut up!" Mizuki replied, clearly embarrassed by Iruka's comment.
"Overly unnecessarily large shuriken throw of DOOM!"
The shuriken sped through the air toward Naruto. Iruka realized what was happening and leapt in front of the boy just before the weapon could hit him.
So, instead, it got Iruka.
"Oww… That kinda stung."
Naruto, still guarded by Iruka, was shocked and frightened.
"Didn't that hit your spine?!" he half-shrieked at his sensei.
"Nope," Iruka smiled, "it's only a flesh wound."
Naruto's eyes widened further.
"But it's pretty deep in there!" he squealed like a girl.
Iruka looked back at Naruto blankly.
"Meh, I've had worse."
"Ahem! So, are you ready to give up the scroll?" Mizuki interrupted, beginning to feel left out.
**********
Meanwhile, back at the Hokage's office…
"I'm just here to break up the action!" said the Hokage, looking deeply into his… crystal ball?
…..
…..
…..
…..
….. O_o
(seriously, WTF?)
"Um… Hello everyone!"
**********
"Anything else you wanna say before I kill you and sell the scroll on eBay and use that money to buy One-piece merchandise?" Mizuki asked as he readied his extra weapon.
Iruka was trying desperately to think of something he could do to help their situation, yet his mind was coming up blank.
Suddenly, in a flash of movement, Naruto charged at Mizuki and threw a powerful punch to his jaw that sent the ninja flying.
"Owwiieee!" yelped Mizuki.
Iruka, even though he was deeply jabbed in the back himself, was now worrying about his hyper, over-active student.
"Get out of the series while you still can Naruto! he called out.
Naruto turned to his sensei, the scroll in his hands and a look of determination on his face.
"No way! I'm the main character, I have to stay!" he replied.
He turned back to Mizuki, who had just recovered from Naruto's punch to his jaw.
Naruto made a few handsigns, creating a justu that had even his sensei in awe.
"Naruto Cosplayer move GO!!!"
No way, thought Iruka in admiration, he summoned all the Naruto cosplayers within a 50 mile radius!
"One-piece?! I'll kick your ass for that!!"
Mizuki stared back in horror.
"Gotta go, GOTTA GO!!!"
**********
Later that day, er, I mean, earlier the next morning…
"Wow, you pummelled him for six straight hours?!" Iruka stated, his eyebrows raised high with surprise.
"Good thing it was 'off screen'!" Naruto replied, scratching his head modestly.
Iruka smiled.
"Here. Since I'm surprisingly not dead from my fatal looking wound, I want you to have this."
Iruka put something around Naruto's head.
"Your headband?!" Naruto asked, stunned but grateful toward his sensei.
"Yep," Iruka replied, "because apparently you becoming a ninja is more important than me treating my horrible injury."
Naruto jumped onto Iruka, causing both to fall down.
"Now I'm a real boy," Naruto yelled, "I-I mean a ninja! Believe it!"
Iruka looked at Naruto like he had something weird on his face, but shrugged after a moment. Whatever Naruto was on about, Iruka didn't really want to know.
Suddenly, his face lit with excitement.
"Hey, still wanna sell that scroll on eBay?"
To Be Continued…