Hey, everyone. This story is a bit abstract for me, but considering that I wrote it during rehearsals, I think it's not bad at all. And yes, I did just publish a story replacing Natasha, but whatever. If you don't like it, don't read it. BlackHawk if you squint.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hawkeye or the Black Widow, however I much I would like to.
Enjoy!
K.S.
Day 1
He was bored. Nat was being briefed for a solo mission – and Fury had made it clear that it was to be an actual solo mission. He wasn't invited.
So he was bored. He was nested in an air vent, pretending to read. He could have been actually reading, because the book was just the kind of absurd spy thriller that he found amusing. But instead, he stared at the pages that should have interested him with blank disdain, and waited for Nat to find him.
She did, of course, before too long. Her red curls came into view first, cascading over her shoulders as she climbed into the vent next to him.
"Reading?" Nat asked, flicking a lock of hair out of her face.
He pretended to ignore her, pointedly turning a page.
Nat smiled, and added, "Or sulking?"
He set the book down, turning to look at her. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he didn't have to think of anything, because Nat said, "Clint, I'll only be gone a month. It's nothing to worry about."
"I'm not worried," he said, a little too loudly. "I'm going to be awfully bored, that's all."
Nat replied dryly, "Oh, yes, I can imagine. You'll have no one to play tricks on, or to startle by dropping out of the rafters."
He grinned. "I startle you?"
Nat glared at him, and turned her head away. "Hardly. But keep trying – maybe next time you'll be able to get within a mile of me without my noticing."
He made a dramatic show of looking disappointed, and Nat swatted his arm. Not hard enough to hurt – just a reprimand from one of the world's best assassins.
"Give it up, Clint. It's only a month. You'll live."
She started to leave, and he experienced a moment of panic. Quickly, he said, "Nat?"
As the red-head turned back to him with her eyebrows raised, he blurted, "Be careful."
Nat's smile let him relax as she replied, "I always am. I'll see you later, Clint."
He thought about her words as he watched her go. It was their unspoken agreement that they never said good-bye – it felt too much like asking for disaster.
Day 2
He was bored. The kind of bored that sent him to the archery range for hours, so he could focus on the still in his breathing and the smack of the arrow into the target.
It was his way of relaxing.
But he only became more bored as he emptied his quiver again and again. Normally, Nat came to find him when he was shooting like this. She would drag him away, forcibly if necessary. Usually that resulted in a sparring match that took the stuffing out of both of them. That was almost always sufficient to wear him out to the point where he simply had to sleep.
But Nat was gone, and the boredom remained.
Day 3
He was bored. His partner was on a mission, and he had no one to get in trouble with.
In Nat's absence, he'd taken to scaring crewmembers for amusement. It wasn't very hard – people really didn't look up as often as they should have.
He gazed down at the unsuspecting crewmembers approaching, and stifled a sigh. This wasn't going to keep him occupied for much longer.
Day 4
He was bored. Fury had put a stop to his crew-scaring, and he wasn't interested in the book he was reading.
He'd come up with a temporary occupation – tossing a handful of coins in the air and pinning them to the wall with arrows. Mostly, he was doing it to irritate Fury; the Director wouldn't appreciate arrow-holes in the walls.
Unfortunately, he was running out of coins.
Day 5
He was bored again, but at least he'd been right. Fury hadn't liked arrow holes in the walls.
Annoyingly enough, being chewed out hadn't been any more interesting than getting in trouble. And he was out of ideas.
He'd cleaned his gear twice, and was running out of extra weapons. He quietly resigned himself to another sleepless night of watching bad television.
Day 6
He was beginning to get used to boredom. Snooping around in an attempt to gather information on Nat's mission had proved exceptionally unsuccessful. No one would tell him anything, and Fury had put a full lockdown on electronics.
He was thoroughly thwarted, and not happy about it.
Day 7
He was bored. He'd been jubilant when he'd first gotten Nat's letter, but he'd practically memorized it by now. He must have read it at least twenty times.
Clint,
It's been a week, and Fury has already asked me to do something about you. What have you been up to know?
Before you ask, I'm fine. No, you can't send me any return letters. That could compromise me, and I doubt Fury would let you, anyway.
I don't have a lot of time to write, so this is going to be short. Yes, I'm all right. This is easy stuff; I told you already that I'll be fine. Now quit sulking and do something useful.
Take good care of yourself.
Nat.
He smiled at the letter, secretly pleased that she signed it with his nickname for her. He knows he can't send Nat any letters, but –
But he sits down to write one anyway, knowing full well it will never leave the room.
Day 8
He's bored, again. He ran out of useful things to do a while ago, and he's back to sulking.
He even tried making tea, but it didn't taste right. He wished he'd paid more attention on those rare occasions when Nat made tea.
He's run out of books, too. Not that he remembers what any of them were about, but he's sure he read them all.
He lies on his back and stares at the ceiling, waiting for dawn.
Day 9
He's bored. Again. Yet. Still. Continuously. Has it really only been a little over a week? He's running through every movie on the helicarrier, waiting for something to interest him.
But nothing does. He isn't even outraged by the 'archery' in old Robin Hood movies, because Nat isn't there to listen to his complaints.
It's beginning to drive him crazy.
Day 10
Boredom in double digits, lovely. He ran out of movies. And he discovered why he only ever spends time with Nat.
No one else will talk to him.
Oh, it's subtle – but it's there. They're either scared of him or too busy to talk. None of them know anything about him, or what to talk about.
It makes him miss Nat. He and Nat don't have to think of things to talk about.
Day 11
He's given up on other people. The boredom is gnawing at him.
He attempts to occupy himself with workouts, but there's only so much his body can take. And once he's showered off, he still doesn't know what to do with himself.
Day 12
Boredom makes him crazy. He asked Fury for a mission, and was told there aren't any available.
He's well aware of the fact that it really means, "You're acting very strange, and we aren't sending you anywhere without your partner to keep an eye on you."
If his partner had been here, he wouldn't have had this problem. He thought about just taking a quinjet and flying off, just for something to do. But he doesn't want Nat to be irritated with him when she comes back.
Day13
Boredom makes him angry, and he roams the halls, glaring at people. It's entertaining to watch them scramble out of his way – until Agent Hill 'asks' him to stop scaring the crew.
He wore out a punching bag, but moving his body doesn't occupy his mind.
Day14
Clint,
What's going on? Fury told me you're scaring the crew and snapping at people. I don't understand. You nest when you're upset, you don't antagonize people. Except me.
I'm still fine, but I expect you to be the same when I come back. Stay safe, and don't do anything stupid.
Nat.
Halfway there, and a letter from Nat, and he's still bored. If the next two weeks are like the last ones, he may shoot himself.
He ran out of things to say in letters he won't send. He folded them into paper airplanes and flew them across the room until he ran out of letters.
He stares at the pile of paper airplanes, and wishes his partner would come home.
Day 15
Boredom has made him lethargic. He can't sleep, but he's spent most of the day in bed, and has no intention of getting up anytime soon.
Trying to sleep isn't exactly fascinating, but it isn't any more boring than any other activity.
Day 16
Boredom is going to get him into trouble, again. He folded a handful of candy wrappers into origami animals, and threw them at Agent Hill when she tried to open the door.
Fury's going to kill him, but at least it might be interesting.
Day 17
Fury hasn't talked to him yet, so the boredom is still overwhelming.
In an attempt to entertain himself, he spent the morning hidden in the cafeteria ceiling, dropping origami animals into people's food when they weren't looking. That amused him for a while, but eventually there was a break in traffic after breakfast – and once again, he had nothing to do.
Day 18
He's so bored he can't think straight, but he can't believe he's still awake.
He went a bit nuts in the gym, working out. The hope was that if he exhausted himself, he might actually sleep. And if he had nightmares – well, at least they'd be interesting.
But he can't even fall asleep, and he swears there's an echo from the emptiness in his mind.
Day 19
He's so bored he can't even sit still. He misses Nat something awful.
He's been moving non-stop. At this rate, he'll work himself sick. He just can't sit still – it feels like drowning in the silence of his mind.
Day 20
He did work himself sick, and now he can't escape the boredom. His body refuses to lift him from his bed.
Fury tried to come talk to him, but left when he pretended to be asleep.
Surely he's exhausted the supply of mindless television, but it seems to be never-ending.
Day 21
Maybe being bored is driving him out of his mind entirely, because he actually watched a movie adaptation of a musical. Nat would never let him hear the end of it.
Of course, Nat was still trying to keep him from finding out that she sometimes listened to opera. She didn't know that he'd discovered that little secret a long time ago. He wasn't sure why she didn't want him to know – it was so very Nat, both the opera and the secrecy.
He was smart enough to leave that particular subject alone. Although, it might be worth the beating Nat would give him for poking into her secrets, if only he could find something interesting to do.
Day 22
He couldn't fight the boredom. Nat had blocked off all his access routes to her rooms, even the ones in the air vents.
It felt like even his partner was conspiring against him, even if only in her absence.
Day 23
Boredom was swallowing him whole. He had finally gotten back on his feet, but Fury had temporarily banned him from the gym.
He was going out of his mind. He'd tried to make conversation with the crewmembers that were on break, but nothing had changed. They smiled nervously and made their excuses to get away.
He was beginning to feel lost.
Day 24
Clint,
What has gotten into you? Fury said you were sick. Is that why you've been acting so strangely? I will expect a full explanation when I get back, which should be soon.
Stay out of trouble. I'm fine. Keep safe.
Nat.
He'd written return letters, folded them into paper airplanes, and flown them all, one by one, into a desk drawer. The ever-present boredom reared its head again.
He lay back in his office chair and kicked off the wall, sending himself spinning across the room. He kicked the desk drawer shut as he reached it, and the chair came to a stop.
With a sigh, he put his head down on the top of the desk. One week left. He closed his eyes and listened to the silence.
Day 25
Boredom had made his mind shut down. He slept for several hours, woke up long enough to eat something, and went straight back to sleep.
And he didn't have nightmares.
Day 26
Boredom didn't allow him the sanctuary of sleep for very long. He had nightmares.
They were about Nat.
Now he just can't stomach the idea of going back to sleep. He wanders the halls, knowing that he looks terrible, knowing that people are giving him strange looks.
He can't quite bring himself to care. It just doesn't interest him.
Day 27
Boredom washes the colors out of the world, and leaves his life faded and blank.
He misses Nat so much it hurts. He just sits in his nest and stares at the wall, waiting for nothing.
Day 28
He wonders if the boredom is making him lose his mind entirely. It feels like it.
He hasn't left his nest. He's curled up on his side, unable to summon the energy required to move.
Day 29
"Clint?"
Nat's red curls come into view, and he sits up, abruptly energized. "Nat?" He can't believe it. "You're back early."
She shrugs, climbing into the vent next to him. "I finished early." Nat eyes him closely for a moment, and he cringes inside.
"What's been going on with you?" Nat demands.
He shakes his head and smiles at his partner, the one who brought the colors back. "I've been bored, that's all. I'm just very glad you're back."
Hope you liked it. Let me know, the review button is easy to find.
K.S.