Author's note: All the usual disclaimers apply – I don't own the show or the characters, only the words on this page. This is my first Hawaii Five-0 story, and I hope it rings true. And, as always, I'd love to hear what you think.
Holding the line
by BHP
Speechless.
That wasn't a word he would ever have applied to himself. Danny Williams knew he liked to talk a lot, as a growing number of people pointed out to him on a regular basis. As he always said, he had strong opinions on many things, and no fear of sharing his views. But right now, with the clatter of the rotors and the strain clear on Steve's face, he found himself unable to speak. There was just so much that was wrong about the current situation that he wasn't sure he could even begin to wrap his mind around it. He could wish that Steve had shown more caution when Jenna had asked for help, or that Steve had exercised a bit more of the common sense Danny was sure the other man had been born with, but wishing couldn't make it so. He could also say 'I told you so' to Steve, but it had never been his style to kick a man when he was down. If they could make it out of the country in one piece, there'd be time later to impress on Steve just how this whole hare-brained quest had angered Danny.
Angered – and scared. In the privacy of his own thoughts, Danny could admit the truth. He'd been scared of losing his friend, but there was no way he'd ever admit that out loud. A twitch of Steve's hand on the rifle he held caught Danny's attention, and he looked anew at the blood and signs of torture. And felt his rage seethe like a chained wolf. But Steve didn't need his anger now; he needed support. So Danny reached out a hand to his partner, resting it gently on Steve's knee. Steve's quick, grateful glance was all the thanks Danny needed.
Turning his attention to the rest of their crew, Danny was relieved to see his initial impressions had been right. Apart from Steve, there were no injuries. He caught Chin's gaze and smiled, recognising the faraway look in the other man's eyes. He'd once looked at Rachel like that – well, maybe Chin would be luckier than Danny.
The changeover from Tangerine to the cargo plane was thankfully quick and easy, with the only issue being Steve's refusal to accept help. That had held firm until the injured man had put his battered feet to the ground. Danny had simply held out an arm to Steve, closely mirrored by Chin, and Steve had silently accepted the offered support. Danny was starting to think that there might be hope for Steve after all.
Now, an hour into the journey home, firmly ensconced in the back of the half-empty, echoing cargo plane headed for Hawaii, Danny re-thought his position. Steve was obviously exhausted, but intent on proving to everyone that nothing could keep him down.
"Joe, I told you already. I'm fine." Steve sounded like a petulant toddler, and the way he was trying to squirm away from Joe and Wade reminded Danny of how a five-year old Grace would try to avoid going to bed.
"Son, I know what you said. But Wade here is going to check you over anyway." Joe injected a note of steel command into his words, and Danny could see Steve doing his best to fight off a lifetime of conditioning to obey a superior officer. Then Joe motioned Wade closer and moved to take off the tattered remnants of Steve's shirt.
"No. Joe, please. Just leave it." Steve's suddenly frantic gaze flitted towards Danny and then back to Joe. Suddenly Danny understood. Other injuries didn't count, not if they were received during one of their usual mad dashes around the islands. But these injuries were more personal. Steve didn't want Danny to see him vulnerable and hurting like this. As if that would change anything. Before he'd even thought it over, Danny was up and standing behind Joe, reinforcing the older man's statement.
"Listen up, you numbskull. You need to get checked over." A warning finger waved under Steve's nose when the other man tried to speak. "No. You, my friend, do not get to speak. You get to listen. Are we clear?" Steve didn't move. "And what you're going to hear is the sound of sweet reason and common sense. Do you know what those two things are going to tell you?" Danny's gaze settled on Steve's silent face, waiting until Steve conceded a slight shake of his head.
"They say," and Danny ticked points off on his fingers, "you should be glad that people care enough to look out for you. You should be happy to let them look after you when you need it. You should be adult enough to admit when it hurts." Danny's voice softened until only Joe could hear it. "And most importantly, you should know by now that nothing you do is likely to change my opinion of you."
Steve's slightly shell-shocked look drew a strangled chuckle from Danny, who leaned past Joe and started removing Steve's shirt. "So come on, princess, off with this."
"Princess?" Steve could barely get the word out, too stunned at Danny's words to really keep up with everything his partner had just said.
"That's all you get from everything I just said?" Danny's raised voice penetrated the fog creeping in on Steve's consciousness. "All you get is 'princess'?"
"Well, I'm not a girl." Steve's answer sounded like a whine even to his own ears. Admittedly, he was hurting, but that was no excuse. One quick glance further down the hold showed Chin, Kono and Lori watching the whole scene with rapt attention. And huge grins. Traitors!
"Sure, you're not. Just take that wreck of a shirt off and stop acting like we're all planning to besmirch your virtue, princess."
Steve could hear Joe chuckling at that. It was just so good to hear Danny ranting, especially after believing that he'd never see his partner again, that Steve felt the smile slip out before he could stop it. Then his split lip reminded him that smiling wasn't a good idea at the moment. Actually, anything physical was sure to be a mistake. Every bruise throbbed in time with his pulse, and a merciless headache had set up its base of operations behind his eyes. Not to mention how each muscle in his back and shoulders had stiffened up since he'd settled into the plane's hold. And just the thought of trying to stand on his damaged feet was enough to make him cringe. Experience told him that none of the injuries was life-threatening, but allowing Wade to check him over was necessary. Standard operating procedure. Steve braced himself to move, and pushed his exhausted body upright. The movement surprised a gasp of pain from him, sharp enough to leave him momentarily breathless. Then Danny's gentle hands were supporting him, easing the material over his shoulders and down his arms. Steve was so grateful for the help, he felt tears prick and fought them off the only way he could. "Just promise me you'll still respect me in the morning."
Danny's snort of amusement was reassuring, comforting, a small island of normality in a sea of turbulent fear and guilt. And his voice stayed firm. "Always, babe."
Ten minutes later, Steve was silently waging a personal war. Wade was being as gentle as he could be, but he had to be thorough as well. Cleaning the blood off Steve's face and out of his spiky brown hair, while checking how bad the head injuries were, had hurt way more than Steve wanted to admit. Though Danny had made sure he shared the pain. From the second Steve had lost his shirt, Danny had settled himself next to his partner. Making sure that Steve knew he didn't have to cope alone. Steve had done his best to keep quiet, but when Wade moved on to cleaning the burns, he flinched and hissed out a curse.
"Here." Danny held out his hand. "I have no idea why you think you have to keep quiet, but you're stubborn as a mule sometimes. Me, I'd be screaming like a girl by now." Steve doubted that as Danny was much tougher than he looked. Then he looked blankly at the offered hand and lifted his hazel gaze to meet Danny's clear blue eyes. "Your point?" Steve could tell from the way Danny flinched at the words that his voice sounded rough; screaming in pain tended to have a bad effect on your vocal chords.
"So, grab on. I'll have you know that this hand has survived childbirth, and that's no joke. I think it can survive this." Danny's frankly appraising gaze seemed to spear through Steve's reluctance. He disliked feeling weak, helpless, out of control, but he was honest enough to know that what was coming was worse than what Wade had already done. He really didn't want to feel like any more of a weakling or idiot than he did now, and crying his eyes out would definitely make him feel that way. Slowly, he raised his hand to Danny's and held on.
Danny sighed in relief, and waited until Steve closed his eyes before shaking out the fingers of his aching right hand. He'd never imagined that Steve could exert so much pressure with his left hand; he'd have to remind himself in future that the aftermath of torture was apparently more painful than bearing a child. He'd thought Rachel's grip had been strong. Then again, she'd also yelled and cursed – mainly at him, he recalled – two things which Steve appeared to believe were unacceptable. Or he believed that the pain was what he deserved for ending up in this situation in the first place. Steve was very good at guilt. That was something Danny knew he'd have to squash very quickly. Nothing about this was Steve's fault, unless you saw loyalty and the need to help a friend as a fault. In which case, Danny knew, they were all in deep trouble. Because why else was he sitting in a military cargo plane, along with the rest of the Five-0 team, heading back from somewhere they should never have been? Because Steve was their friend, and his closest friend.
Quiet voices attracted his attention and he shifted slightly in his seat to see Joe and Wade looking at Steve. He felt no guilt at all for eavesdropping.
"It's a long flight." Joe was calm, but Danny could see the worry. "How okay is he really?"
"It's bad, but not as bad as you think." Wade almost seemed surprised. "I expected worse. There's a lot of serious bruising, and the burns need watching, but no internal injuries. No broken bones. His feet aren't even all that bad, but you know feet. They'll probably hurt the worst." A shared look of commiseration suggested the two men had dealt with that type of injury before. "I've already given him some painkillers to see him through the next few hours. He definitely needs to see a doctor when we get home, but rest is probably the best thing for him."
Wade made a point of meeting Danny's eyes, and Danny realised that Wade had known all along that the detective was listening. Danny nodded in response to Wade's raised eyebrow. He'd make the doctor's appointment himself, and he'd drag Steve there - kicking and screaming – if necessary.
"He's right here, you know." Steve's quiet and exhausted voice startled them all. "If you'd just listened to me earlier, I could have told you I was fine." He sighed and shifted against the bulkhead, wincing at the pressure on his bruised body. "Wo Fat wasn't trying to kill me."
Danny's snort of disgust was immediate, and he could see Steve understood what he hadn't needed to say. "Okay, okay, I hear you. I mean, he didn't want to kill me then." A tiny grin surfaced, aimed squarely at placating the simmering Jersey native. "You know, D, you really do have a tone. Even when you don't actually talk." And just like that, Danny knew that things were going to get better.
"I do not have a tone. Just because you have all the self-preservation instincts of a goldfish trying to befriend the family cat, doesn't mean I have a tone. I'm merely making reality clear to you. And the reality of this situation is that you're going to do exactly as I tell you when we get home, until someone with a valid medical qualification says otherwise. Is that clear?"
Steve rolled his eyes at Joe and Wade, looking for support, but Danny held up a warning finger to the two men. "No. Not a word from either of you." He turned his attention back to Steve. "The only thing I want to hear from you right now is 'Yes, Danny', nothing else. Think you can manage that?"
Steve had the grace to look mildly repentant as he muttered, "Yes, Danny."
"Good. Now go to sleep." At Steve's mulish look, Danny sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose hard. "Steven, we're all tired. You're fighting the painkillers for no good reason. You're safe here, okay? So would you please just be a good boy and rest – so all of us can do the same."
Steve closed his eyes at that, and Danny waited until he could see the relaxation of true sleep take the other man. Then he got up and took a few steps away from Steve, indicating that Joe should follow him out of earshot of the others.
"How sure is Wade about Steve's condition?" The most important question came first, pitched low enough to leave Steve undisturbed.
"Any more sure, and Wade would work at Tripler." Joe was unequivocal and somewhere deep inside, Danny felt a cold, hard knot of tension and fear start to ease. He closed his eyes against the sudden weakness of overwhelming relief. Then he raised icy blue eyes and locked his gaze on Joe. "Now to you. I saw that look in your eyes when Steve said Wo Fat didn't want him dead. You know something you're not telling us."
"We all know things we don't share. I'm sure you don't tell Steve everything." Joe sounded oddly defensive, and Danny found himself wondering just how difficult this was for the older man. Joe had made it plain that he saw Steve as family, someone he cared deeply about and wanted to protect. Would Danny have the strength to keep something important from Steve if he had to, if telling Steve would do more harm than good?
"Maybe, but what I don't tell him isn't going to get him killed."
"That's what I'm trying to prevent. But he doesn't make it easy."
Danny couldn't stop his laughter at Joe's exasperated statement. "True." He took in the set look on Joe's face and sighed heavily. Steve cared about Joe, and no matter how much Danny wanted to protect his partner right now, he didn't have the right to make decisions for Steve.
"Look, Joe, you made it possible for us to get him back, and I'm grateful. I thank you for that. My daughter thanks you for that, because for some reason I've yet to understand, she's grown attached to him." Danny smiled, thinking of how happy Grace would be to see her uncle Steve, reasonably safe and sound. "But right now, I'm not sure you know what's best for him. I'm not sure I know. But I do know he needs a break, a chance to work out what he needs. So could you please just do me a favour and back off? Give him some space, okay?"
Danny could see the struggle, how much Joe disagreed with what Danny had asked and wanted to argue his side. Then Joe turned a long, considering stare on Steve's sleeping form, and Danny saw the moment the older man made his decision. "Okay. I'll back off for now. But if he comes looking for me, that's on him."
Reluctantly, Danny nodded. He couldn't control Steve any more than Joe could, but at least his partner could take some time to heal and get his head on straight again. As Joe walked back to his seat and settled in for the rest of the long flight, Danny let his gaze wander over Steve's still form, lingering on the visible injuries while his mind dwelled on those hidden under clean clothes. His anger at the damage done blinded him to the fact that, for just a moment, two tired hazel eyes had opened and seen the look on Danny's face. Turning away from Steve, Danny walked a few more paces to where the rest of the team were strapped in.
"How is he?" Chin spoke for them all. Danny sighed gently. "Okay. Wade says the damage looks worse than it is." Three relieved sighs echoed Danny's. "But he does need to see a doctor when we get home. Any ideas on what we can say to explain how he ended up like that?" Danny waved a hand in Steve's direction.
"No need, brah." Chin simply smiled. Kono shared a glance with her cousin, then grinned at Danny. "Malia can see him. No need to explain anything."
Danny felt a weight lift from his mind. That only left their other problem. "Lori, any ideas on how we explain this to Governor Denning?"
Lori's smile was devious and wicked. "Already working on that. He doesn't stand a chance." Danny opened his mouth, then changed his mind. He followed Lori's gaze over his shoulder to see Joe tip an imaginary hat to the blonde woman. He turned back to her and shook his head. "I don't want to know, do I?"
"Probably not. But if it helps, none of it will be a lie. It's just a matter of choosing the right words."
Danny knew he should insist that she tell Denning the unvarnished truth, but Steve needed as much protection as he could get at the moment. So just this once, he shrugged and smiled back. "Whatever you say." Then he moved back to his seat next to Steve, and settled himself down to doze, close enough that Steve's every move would let him know if the other man needed him.
The rumbling throb of the cargo plane engines nudged the headache up a notch, from minor irritant to a nuisance that would soon need to be medicated. Steve held his neck rigid so as not to jar his head and slowly eased his eyelids open. The light in the hold was dim, a fact for which he was extremely thankful. As the pain settled a tad, he let his head roll gently to each side, unable to stop himself appraising his environment from a tactical standpoint. He knew that he was safe here, that he was on his way home, surrounded by friends, but some habits were hard to break. Then he lost his train of thought as he realised that Danny was looking back at him. The blue gaze was frank and untroubled, but Steve couldn't shake the feeling that the mild expression on Danny's face hid something more. He'd seen the anger there earlier. He shifted in his seat, turning to face Danny, and a sharp spike of pain stabbed through his shoulders and shot all the way to the top of his head. Danny's hands immediately reached out to support Steve, and in that moment, Steve could see that Danny was furious. Thought fled, and Steve murmured, "I'm sorry."
Danny startled. "What?"
"I said, I'm sorry." Steve knew that he'd apologise as often as he had to, as often as it took, to calm the rage he'd never thought Danny could feel. He knew Danny ranted as easily as breathing, and that it was some sort of emotional release for the other man, but he'd never believed that Danny was the sort to nurse this level of anger; the kind of rage that had the potential to turn a friendship to ashes.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" Danny frowned, and risked a quick glance around, only to find everyone was still sleeping. "And apart from that, why are you even awake? Is something wrong? What hurts? Should I fetch Wade?" The concern was genuine, the hand on Steve's shoulder gentle, and Steve was puzzled.
"No. I'm fine." The exasperated eye roll that met that declaration was expected, and welcome. "It's just – you're angry. And I'm sorry."
"Of course I'm angry, babe."
"I know it's my fault. Just tell me how to fix this." Steve wasn't usually so open about his feelings, but decided to chalk this single aberration up to not really feeling his best.
"Tell you how – hold up a second, you think I'm mad at you?" Danny's eyes were wide and shocked, and Steve suddenly felt uncertain of his ground. He nodded slowly, and felt Danny's fingers grip his arm more tightly. Nothing ventured, Steve figured.
"You're not?"
"No, you great big idiot. Why would I be?"
"Because I got us all into this. It's my fault she's dead. And what would Grace say if something happened to you?"
"You didn't get us into anything, Steve. You're good, but you're not good enough to make up my mind for me." Danny's smile eased some of Steve's tension.
"Jenna got herself killed, babe. That's on her and Wo Fat, not you. And we," his hand waved around to include all the sleeping people around them, "we chose to come to North Korea. We all decided, on our own, to join a humanitarian mission. You know, bring food and medicine to the locals, make some new friends – using firepower if necessary – and retrieve one wayward former SEAL. We made that choice, not you."
Then Danny laughed quietly. "Besides, you have no idea of what Grace would have said if she ever found out that her uncle Steve was in trouble and I hadn't move heaven and earth to help him. No idea at all. In some ways, she's definitely her mother's child."
Reassured, Steve let his head drop back and rest on the cold metal of the fuselage. It was a revelation to hear how much Grace cared about him. Although Steve had to admit the feeling was mutual; he'd do anything for Danny's little girl. Legal or not. He had to admit to himself as well that Danny sounded normal, but Steve couldn't help but worry. "But, you're still angry."
"You bet. Just wait till you see yourself in a mirror."
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Only everything, idiot."
Steve felt like he just taken a step sideways into the Twilight Zone, but without Rod Serling's wise voice to lead the way. "Explain that to me."
"Every time I look at you, I see what Wo Fat did to you. I see that room, the chains, the blood on the floor, Jenna. I see every bruise, every burn."
"I'll heal, Danny. It's nothing permanent."
"You'll heal." Danny rolled his eyes heavenward, begging for strength. "Sure you will. But that's not the point."
"What is?"
Danny favoured him with that fond, slightly irritated look he always used just before he explained some police procedure to Steve. In great detail, and in words that were small, simple and impossible to misunderstand. "You. You are the point. And the fact that you didn't deserve any of this. Most especially not for just helping a friend. When I see what he did to you, I want to make him suffer. I want to find him, track him down personally, and make his life a living hell. No matter what the law says."
The rage was so clear on Danny's face that Steve would have taken a step back if he could have; instead he reached out a hand and laid it on Danny's arm. "I'm not worth that."
"You are. That's my decision to make, and you don't get any say in it." Danny's raised finger kept Steve silent. "But what I do with Wo Fat is also my decision. And I'll do what the law demands, because I'll be no better than him if I don't. But I don't have to like it. Which is why I'm angry."
Steve understood that. He did. More clearly now than when he'd first come home to Hawaii. He wondered if he would have been able to understand so clearly if he'd never met Danny. He'd wanted to simply hunt down his father's murderers and deal with them. He'd have made them disappear, without leaving a shred of evidence. He had the skills and the motivation. But then he'd met Danny, and somehow personal justice had taken second place to legal justice. Steve sighed. He was in so much trouble if Danny ever figured out just how much influence he could really exert on Steve. He raised a shaking hand to rub at the side of his head, trying to calm the raging headache. His eyes slipped shut, only to pop open again at the sudden sense of movement nearby.
Danny had moved, Steve saw; was getting up and looking towards Wade. "Danny, no. It's fine. I'll be fine."
"Sorry, Steve. This isn't your decision either. You're hurting and this time, I can fix it. So I'm going to get Wade to do just that." Danny slipped away, carefully sliding past everyone else and only waking Wade.
As Steve watched his partner talk quietly, hands waving, he couldn't contain his smile. He'd lost Wo Fat, Jenna and some peace of mind. And apparently the ability to make his own decisions on whether or not to be medicated. But he'd gained something else: a better understanding of what it took to hold the line against despair, anger, and the general injustice of the world. He'd come to a better understanding of Danny. He'd learned that storm anchors came in the strangest, most unexpected packages. And that he possessed friends who would go to the ends of the earth for him.
With a sense of wonder, he realised the feeling was mutual. He'd do whatever it took to help any of his friends through whatever life chose to throw at them as well. He'd never expected to find that outside of a SEAL team again. He was so deep in thought that he barely felt the needle break his skin when Wade injected another dose of pain medication. He could feel Danny settle beside him, feel the other man's determination to keep Steve safe. He felt unaccountably cared for. He was still smiling quietly as the drugs dragged him back to sleep. "Thanks, Danno."